Dare to Unschool - Rewriting the Rules

Helping other people can sometimes solidify those things that you’ve been learning along the way. Plus, it keeps the ideas at the front of your mind, as most of society is pressing on you to get back in line.

That’s what I want to talk to you about today - how you can develop confidence as you walk away from the conventional approach to education and parenting. It’s not an easy task - but I’m no rocket scientist.

I’m just a mom from the suburbs who found that school wasn’t working for my kids.

It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t inspiring.

They were getting bored.
They were getting in trouble for doing things like
...not reading in unison off the chalkboard.
or
...talking when they had to wait in line
or
...getting up to use the bathroom without raising their hand first. 
Just being regular kids with questions and energy.
Cooping them up in a classroom where they had to sit for hours seemed like - not a Good Plan.

So for probably the first 3 years, I was on a quest to pick the brains of as many people as possible. I knew that my personal first-hand knowledge was coming up short - so I had to learn from these other people.
And that’s what I did.

But back to my coaching call the other day, we were talking with parents of younger kids about how different the landscape looks now. Lots of places don’t have park days. Or they have so many park days or options, they don’t feel the same connection to people that I felt back in the 90s.

So after my kids had grown, I created a little mini-course to help parents get more confident in this unschooling approach. I think it lasted for a couple of months. We’d talk about different topics like rude relatives or finding learning, or tapping into the community resources. We’d get together on weekly zoom calls and they’d ask questions and we’d all share ideas and answers. Then the course ended, and they wanted to know if we could keep it going somehow. Could we do book clubs, and topics each month - and basically recreate the park days and Moms Night Outs but online?. They were scattered all over the world and having trouble FINDING other people near them.

I said yes, and this was the start of my Creating Confidence Membership Group.

It’s evolved over time, as I kept making more PDFs, or recorded topics and ideas. 

I still do the zoom coaching calls - now it’s twice a week. Parents get coaching from me, hear about resources and examples from each other. We make plans together for the week on Mondays and come back for a more Q & A opportunity mid-week. They get the inspiration for how to do this very unconventional - but wonderful thing with their own families. 

And we even have a real life get together happening in Houston in October! That will be fun! Like the old days! But we’ll be hanging out by the pool!

My situation - and because we weren’t as well-versed in the internet yet - made me a slow learner.

It won’t take YOU  three years to figure this out or see that leaving curriculum and the old ways behind is a good idea. You have way more resources at your fingertips. I had to wait for the monthly Moms night out or hope that someone I wanted to talk to, about a specific thing was going to show up at the park day. And then hope that we could actually complete a sentence, as kids were all around playing and needing us too.

We’ve had a big wave of DIYing our way through life in the past 20 years or so. The internet has helped with that too!  Even with unschooling, you can DIY it - you can listen to this podcast, watch videos at YouTube, read blogposts at the Unschooling Mom2Mom webpage, follow people on social media.. I’ve made a TON of resources to help people figure this all out.

But the other day, someone who joined my membership group said that they had been patchwork quilting their way through the last 2 years. They were stopping and starting, trying some other curriculum that maybe didn’t seem too bad… only to have their kids resist that too. She had tried every curriculum approach - maybe you can relate - but she wanted to try them all BEFORE she went with Unschooling. Lots of us do that, right? For some reason. We want to keep SOME pieces of what’s familiar before we toss it all. Lol

It’s such a faulty construct though. It doesn’t have to be an either/or thing.
Because the thing to remember, all the time you’re wasting trying everything BEFORE you dive a little into unschooling, your kids are getting older, habits are forming. Frustration is growing.
AND, as you try all the other approaches,, forcing them to do just one more paper or one more workbook, that’s digging a rut in the road you’re going to have to fix later on.

And I guess my big question to you, right now, is,

“Why do that?”

Why not start learning about unschooling and implementing the parts that seem logical. 

What would WORK for you and your family easily? Start there.

Don’t let Fear keep blinders on you so you don’t even look.
Nobody is going to ask you to drink any Kool Aid. I promise. 

See what it’s like to be surrounded by people who want to explore more of this non-traditional way. No one is going to say, you’re not doing it enough. There are no Unschooling Police in my group.

We’re all on a journey toward INDIVIDUALIZING our learning and our LIVES with our kids.
We’re all learning how others may do things differently - some parts that could work for us, and some parts, maybe not… yet. Or maybe never.

But after being with others who are so invested in maintaining the status quo - this will be so refreshing for you! Yes, you’ll have to look at some internal motivations you have… but they’re quietly back there running the show. Woudnl’t it be nice to see your intentions clearly. And make decisions out of logic instead of simply because it’s familiar? Maybe you have some Fears to look at - to see which are rational and which were used on you to keep you in line, and now you’re doing that to your own kids without even realizing it. Or maybe you realize it, but you think it’s what you’re SUPPOSED to do. 
I’m not saying all your ideas have to go - I’m just saying “Choose them consciously.” 

That’s the kind of information you’ll find in our membership portal. We have 2 coaching calls every week, where parents bring questions or I talk more about how to embrace unschooling. These are recorded and available if you ca’nt make it live. We have recordings from past calls, past guest speakers, book club discussions. All the Unschooling Guides are available to you in there, plus the ebooks I’ve done. We have PDFs and worksheets to help you to tackle your obstacles. Maybe its how unschooling works, or  how deschooling matters. Maybe it’s how to deal with critics or technology, learning to read or learning math. Maybe it’s about how to connect with your teens or how to get your little ones to bed.

Unschooling is kind of like bringing attachment parenting principles to bigger kids. We seem ok with it when they’re 2, but what about when they’re school age? I have so many resources to help you tackle all the parenting obstacles that are getting in your way. Yes, they’ll learn. Yes, they’ll get into college if they want to. Yes, you can figure out how to talk to your relatives about all of this, without everyone melting down.
And yes, you can have the home life you’ve wanted.

Lots of new members come in saying,

“Wow, I knew you had a lot of resources in here, but I had no idea how much!” 

After a few weeks or months, they feel so much calmer. They’re beginning to grow their own confidence.
And they often say,

“I wish I had done this sooner. I’d have less to undo.
We could’ve skipped all that stuff that seemed so important but wasn’t.

I didn’t realize what was happening.”

So that’s what I want for you. I want to invite you to come to the membership group. See what it feels like to be with people who want to make some changes. See what it’s like to feel supported as you choose a truly INDIVIDUALIZED life for you and your kids. Just like me and my little Moms Night Out, you can do this in a community. You don’t have to be alone. The other more schoolish approach - whether it’s traditional homeschooling or the local school, it’ll still be there. Ready for you if you want to go back to that.

But, what if you had some adventures with your kids?
Whether this is your Gap Year, or your new way of life... it’s all up to you.

Your choices. What works for YOUR family.

This month, there’s no sign up fee, and you can pay month by month. Leave any time. Or you can decide, I’m going to give it a year, and see what happens.  Pack in all the adventures. Relax into prioritizing connection within your family. Let everyone heal from some not-great experiences. Revisit it all in a year. Kind of like stepping off the conveyor belt for a while, and writing your own rules.

Sounds kinda good, right? I want to support you in this. It IS good. I think you’ll like it.
Let your life happen at the speed you choose - not because someone says:

“For the next 12 years, one size fits all.”
We know that’s not true. 

I’ll put the link in the notes for you to hop into the group this month - for a month, for a year, for however long you’d like the support. Some people have been in the group since 2016 when we started! Parenting can be hard - no one gave us a manual. And even if they did, we know more now days. We don’t really want to duplicate the old ways any more. We can all learn from each other.

As we wrap up August, I wish only wonderful days for you and the kids. I want you to build a life together exactly the way you want it to be. You might surprise yourself! 
Happy unschooling, I’ll be back again soon...