The Voices in Your Head Didn’t Start With Unschooling

Is it normal to feel like you’re not doing enough when homeschooling?

They always said you were lazy. 😬
    Maybe not out loud.
    Maybe not directly.
    But you heard it.

“You should try harder.”
“You’re not applying yourself.”
“You’re capable of more.”
“If you’d just focus.”

You learned early that rest was suspicious.
That easy meant you weren’t serious.
That productivity was proof of worth.

And now...you choose unschooling.

And suddenly that old word creeps back in.

Lazy.

When your kids lay around on the couch.
When learning looks relaxed.
When a day unfolds without visible output.

That voice doesn’t whisper.

It says:

“You’re ruining them.”
“This is irresponsible.”
Other families are doing more.”
“You’re setting them up to fail.”

And sometimes the harshest version says:

“You’re just calling this unschooling because you don’t want to do the hard work.”

That doesn’t mean unschooling isn’t working.

It means those old scripts are still alive.

• Old teachers.
• Old report cards.
• Relatives.
• Neighbors.
• School culture.
• Disgruntled bloggers.

And sometimes it feels crowded in your head.

And if that sounds familiar...
you’re in the right place.

Why Unschooling Doubts Resurface

Why do unschooling doubts keep coming back?

If you’re new here, I’m Sue Patterson, and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

For almost 30 years, I’ve been walking alongside families choosing something different — helping parents untangle school-shaped thinking and build real confidence in how their kids learn.

Each week, I share short pep talks and perspective shifts to help you keep unschooling ideas in the front of your mind — especially when real life tries to push them to the back.

Now let’s talk about why those voices don’t disappear just because you left school.

When you first step away from school, you’re intentional.
...You listen to podcasts.
...You read books.
...You think deeply.
...You feel clear.

There’s almost a sense of relief.
Like you’ve stepped into color after living in black and white.

But then real life resumes.

• Dinner.
• Work.
• Sports practice.
• Moodiness — theirs and yours.
• Technology.
• Laundry.
• Bills.
• Comparison.

And slowly — not dramatically — unschooling philosophy slides to the back of your awareness.

Not because you stopped believing it.

Because you stopped reinforcing it. You weren’t as intentional about it.

We’ve all been taught to check the box and move on. Forward motion is what matters, right? 🙄

And while all that is happening, those old scripts are still there. They don’t need refreshing.

They’ve been running in the background for a long time. They’re automatic now.

So when you’re tired...

which voice is going to feel stronger?

The one that’s been rehearsed the longest.

That’s not weakness.

That’s conditioning.

And it explains something really important:

Confidence doesn’t grow from intensity or bursts.
It grows from rhythm.

Real Life Is Loud — Add Another Voice

Because real life is loud and distracting.

And if you don’t keep returning to something steadier, those old scripts naturally move forward again.

They’re not going to wait their turn.

They’ll just start talking.

Questioning you and predicting disasters.

Sometimes they’re really harsh.

Sometimes they sound like your own voice, but so much sharper than you’d ever speak to someone else.

We can’t erase those voices. But we don’t have to let them dominate the conversation.

And we can add another voice into the mix — mine.

A voice with experience. With confidence.

Elbowing my way in.

And sometimes...taking the bullhorn away from the meaner ones.📢

Not by fighting them.

Just by being there often enough that when doubt starts to speak...

something steadier speaks too.

That’s the difference.

Sometimes it simply means reminding you of something you already know but forgot in the rush of the day.

That’s the point.

We won’t eliminate doubt, but we’ll make sure it’s not the loudest or only voice in there speaking to you.

What Daily Reinforcement Looks Like

You could go back and listen to one podcast a day.

Next month marks five years of these 10–15 minute pep talks.

There’s a lot there.

Create a New Habit

You could press play while unloading the dishwasher.
While waiting in the car.
While walking the dog.

Pair it with something you already do and let it become part of your rhythm.

That works.

But I also know this:

When you’re busy, you don’t always remember to press play.

And sometimes you’re too mentally full to go searching for reassurance.

That’s why I created Creating Confidence Daily.

Not because you need more information.

Because you need reinforcement.

• Three or four minutes.
• Right where you are.
• Sometimes it’s audio from me.
• Sometimes it’s an affirmation card.
• Sometimes it’s a small shift in perspective.
• Sometimes it’s something practical to notice with your kids that day.
  
  

It’s small on purpose.

Because this isn’t about overwhelming you.

It’s about making sure something steadier shows up before the old script does.

Successful unschooling families do two things over time.

1. Parents keep working on their own assumptions and fears.
2. And kids learn how to live inside real freedom.

That requires knowledge.

And support.

Not once.

Ongoing.

You can try Creating Confidence Daily free for a week.

After that, it’s $9 a month — and less if you stay longer.

Super simple.

It’s there so you don’t have to keep doing this alone in your own head.

You don’t have to silence the critical voices.

You just don’t have to let them be the only ones.

I’ll be in there too, walking right alongside you. Start with the free week — it will help you.

I’ll leave the link — and I’ll be back here next week.