Unschooling Doubts and Fears

Sue Patterson

You Don’t Have to Hold Your Unschooling Fears Alone.


I’ve been thinking about you lately.

Not the collective “you all,” but you — the parent listening to podcasts on your walk, or scrolling through ideas late at night, or sitting at your kitchen table wondering quietly:


“Am I even doing this right?”


And the image that keeps coming to mind is the two of us sitting together with something warm to drink, the way you’d chat with a trusted friend...not about curriculum or checklists or what everyone else is doing, but about what’s really happening in your home and in your heart.


Because unschooling can feel big and beautiful — and also heavy, confusing, and lonely.

And you don’t have to hold all of that alone.


The Fears We Don’t Say Out Loud

Parents tell me some version of the same questions again and again:

  • “Am I doing enough?”
  • “What if there are gaps?”
  • “What if my child never gets motivated?”
  • “Why does everyone else seem confident?”
  • “What if I’m messing this up?”


These worries don’t mean unschooling isn't working.


They’re signs that you’re stepping away from old patterns and into something much more individualized and real.

You’re learning how to tailor everything — your kids’ education, your parenting, the way your family moves through the world. And of course that feels shaky sometimes. We weren’t taught how to do this. We were taught to follow instructions, to stay inside the lines, to match whatever “kids that age” were supposed to be doing.

But unschooling doesn’t work that way.


The only path that works for unschooling families is the one you build yourself — not a one-size-fits-all plan based on what other kids your child’s age are doing.


And if you feel that tug to compare, or that creeping sense of falling behind, that’s just the old age-based checklist whispering in your ear. It has nothing to do with your child’s real learning.


You Don’t Have to Untangle This Alone


So many parents tell me, “Is this what it's supposed to look like?,” oor “I should be able to figure this out myself.”

Needing support doesn’t mean you’re not capable.
It means you’re human.
It means you care.

And it’s why I created something new — something simple and private.

A Place to Tell Me Your Biggest Unschooling Fear

I made a page on my website where you can share the worry that’s weighing on you most right now. Not the polished version — the real one.

You can tell me:

  • What you’re afraid of
  • What’s been overwhelming
  • Where you feel stuck
  • What keeps circling your mind at 2am

I read every message personally.
And I respond with guidance that fits your situation — not a template or a generic answer.

Just the next right step that helps you breathe again.

If you’re carrying something quietly, you can share it here:

Ask Sue

☎ When You Want a Real Conversation

For some parents, writing it out is enough.
For others, they want to talk it through.

Every December I open my Q4Sue Coaching Calls — 30-minute sessions for $50 where we sit together (over Zoom) and sort through the real stuff:

  • What’s working
  • What’s not
  • What you can let go of
  • What your next step actually is
  • How to start the new year with less pressure and more confidence

These calls aren’t a big commitment.
They’re not a long program.
They’re simply a soft landing place — a moment to get clarity and feel supported.


You can grab one here if you want:

Let's Talk 1:1

You’re Not the Only One Who Feels This Way

Wherever you are today — overwhelmed, hopeful, confused, inspired, scared — I want you to hear this clearly:

You are not behind.
You are not doing it wrong.
You are not supposed to have all the answers.

Unschooling is a practice.
A process.
A series of small, brave decisions to trust yourself and your child a little more.

And you don’t have to walk it alone.


I’m here when you need me.

~Sue


By Sue Patterson December 1, 2025
If unschooling feels like an emotional roller coaster lately, this episode will help you understand why — and what actually makes the ride smoother. Let's break down the real reasons parents feel wobbly and why support makes such a dramatic difference, especially during high-pressure seasons like the holidays. Here’s what we explore: Why unschooling feels so up-and-down at first The hidden pressures that make parents question everything The real reason doing this alone feels overwhelming What genuine support actually provides How community can steady your nerves and calm your home Why this season is the easiest time to get help This episode is for parents who want clarity, steadiness, and reassurance that they truly don’t have to figure out unschooling alone. 
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