Podcast Transcript:

Let's create a nurturing "nest" for your family!

Unschooling parents are tuned into their homes. Sometimes, it may be hard to see that, because, usually, it’s messy. That’s what the Lived-In Look is all about though!

With each person in the household pursuing a variety of interests, and those interests being at various stages of exploration… well, you get the picture.

If you grew up with the concept that keeping a tidy home is synonymous with being a good mother though, this may be particularly problematic for you. It may take some inner exploration to be able to differentiate between the two roles: Keeper of the Home and Mother/Parent. They are, in fact, very different. An unschooling parent typically prioritizes the relationships happening in the home, and places value on all those incomplete projects that a child is working on. Certainly much more than the dishes in the sink or the clutter in the room.

Sometimes the problem is the spouse who is away at work all day. Coming home to a peaceful, relaxed home may be what they've been yearning for all afternoon! It's not unheard of to do a quick clean-up before he (it's often "he" isn't it?) gets home.
It's ok to tell the kids,

"this really helps Dad relax... let's do this for him."

We all do things to help each other have nurtured experiences in the home.

And, it's also fine to shoot him a text saying,

"Hey, fair warning... the Lego project could not be moved from the dining room table. The dog tracked mud throughout the house just 10 minutes ago. And it's been rough with our time management today. Can you pick up some fried chicken - I'll clear a spot on the counter! See you soon! xo"

Being included in the mayhem may be what your spouse is needing. That's really do-able. Having conversations about the priorities and what you're seeing in the kids will help him be less likely to want to sweep in to fix it all. We all have habits we've become accustomed to, haven't we? Here are a few conversation topics that might need to happen:

• Exploration is messy - and that's ok.
• Learning comes when kids can follow their curiosities.
• Learning may not look like it does in school with grades, scores, and worksheets. It's often more process-oriented than product-based.
• You're focusing on creating trusting relationships with the kids where they can truly know that you value their ideas and opinions.
• Your relationship-building approach may be at the expense of a messy house.
• How can you help your spouse connect more with the kids?
• Do they need a quiet little corner of the house to get-away to?
  Do you?

The inevitable messiness seems to go hand-in-hand with building a cozy unschooling nest.