Switching from Homeschooling to Unschooling

Brand New? or Not-so-New to all of this

OK, so we have 2 types of people - the brand new people who are trying to figure out how to provide a good education for the kids in a way that everyone can be happy... or happy-ish.

And the homeschooling mom who is secretly googling unschooling to see if maybe THIS could work.
Or maybe they had the wrong idea about it initially, or...how DOES it actually work, anyway?

And if that’s not bad enough, in either one of these scenarios, you think the problem is you.
You think your curriculum isn’t working because of a lack of follow through or discipline or patience… or something!  
You see those instagram posts from moms who have kids happily messing with their lapbooks or doing art projects or asking curious questions. And that’s a far cry from what’s happening at your house. Your kids are just waiting for you to be done.

You might even start to think you’re not cut out for this...maybe not organized enough, or creative enough - you’re just not making it sparkly enough! At first, I was going to say, in a kind of snarky way,

“well, you know, you ARE the product of the public school system probably.
No wonder you’re flopping at this!”

And then I thought... well, that’s not really a snarky thing - that’s facts! 

• You were taught for 12 years that subjects have to be linear, one after another, no deviation.
• You were taught that the teacher will pour the information over you and you will cough it back up for them to prove how well you listened.
• Then the reward of the gold star or the promising future or the special look of approval that you just HANG ON waiting for...

So you try to duplicate that only making it a little bit shinier...and your kids resist. 

And I know how unnerving that is, because you’re thinking,
"Wow... this is so much better than what I endured for 12+ years... how come they’re not grateful?"

But you know, they don’t have the same life experience you’ve had.
They can’t make that comparison and if you’re waiting around for that to somehow happen, for them to suddenly REALIZE how lucky they are... uh...you’re in for a few disappointing years.

Ok. So here we are. End of the semester. And it hasn't been working.

And you really don’t want to say that out loud to too many people.
If you’re in that category of Not-New Homeschooler... you run in a circle of homeschooling mamas who SEEM to have it all figured out. You don’t want to come across as the renegade.
Or the lame one...the one that just can’t get their kids in gear.

And if you’re in the category of New to Homeschooling, you know that if you say this isn’t working to your friends and family, they’ll either say, “I told you so.” or rush over to bring you back into the fold.

So what do you do?

You’re back to the internet all by yourself to see if maybe this unschooing thing could work.  You listen to these podcasts, maybe read a few blogposts. Then all those internal arguments pop up.
All those anti-unschooling comments you’ve heard over the years.

Oh man... you really didn’t want to turn into THAT person, now did you?
The spiraling begins, right?

My point in all of this is that I KNOW what’s going on with you. I’ve been there. And, I’m happy to tell you, I know the way out. So think of yourself as wandering in this cave. And suddenly, I show up with a flashlight! That’s what I want to do here, show you a few steps to help you move in a direction to get you out of this cave of despair you’re in!  And you know what’s kind of cool too? You’re so close to the exit! You just have to make a couple of turns and VOILA! The light! You can get out of there! 

OK, I know. I’m being dramatic. But when you know you don’t want to send your kids to school, and you can’t figure out what you’re supposed to do, and the pressure is building, the fears are getting louder… it can be pretty awful. YOu’re not alone and there really ARE solutions!



5 Steps to

Start the Transition from Homeschooling to Unschooling

This is yor starting place. You'll have your own obstacles to overcome - and I can help you do that!
But what you're doing isn't working, so I want to help you get unstuck.

1. You don’t have to use the word unschooling.

4. Think about Your Own Why?

why are you doing this? What are YOUR priorities when it comes to kids and learning and the relationship you have with them and their relationship with the world. Sometimes we get so busy checking the boxes, we don’t take the time to think about what really matters the most to us. Make a list. 

5. Brainstorm with the Kids

What would they like to do more of? What foods, what movies, what games, what inside stuff, outside stuff? What would a perfect world look like to them? Then your role is to help them see it all as a big buffet. What could you add to the buffet? If they say, Minecraft morning to night - you can say, “Wow! THAT would be awesome! What if we do that on THURSDAY? And help them do it? AND… let’s also do this and that. I like to think of it the way Actors do Improv. It’s about acceptance and saying YES. Of course, not yes to everything, but no kneejerk resistance to an idea. What PART of the idea CAN you embrace? That’s the part you say yes to! And one of the lines Improv actors learn to say when someone tosses the line to them is, “Yes, Annnndddd….” So spend some time consciously saying, “Yes, and…” That’s how brainstorming works! So many parents start brainstorming with their kids and are surprised to hear them show some interest in some new area. We have to carve time out to ask and listen to the answers. I do have a brainstorming tool that will help you do this. It has ideas for you to ponder as well as journaling pages to help you actually brainstorm with the kids. 

That’s probably a pretty good assignment list for you!

But What About...

And while you may be saying, “yes,” your brain is also thinking, “But what about..."

Let me address those too:

• Won’t they fall behind if we do this instead of curriculum? No. They’ll have an opportunity to learn at the pace that fits them - and you’ll get the opportunity to see what that is. Not just try to fit them into the package you bought. They won’t fall behind because you’re stepping off the conveyor belt. Their progress will be personal progress. Not comparison progress. You can’t fall behind yourself. 
• How will they learn what they need to know? As you learn more about deschooling, you’ll see that there’s no finish line, no time line that everything must be known. When they need to know it, THAT will be the catalyst to learn it. And it’s the BEST reason, the BEST motivator. So much better than someone saying, Someday you’ll need this. Or Because I said it matters.” No one really responds well to that. Remember, the Basics ARE the basics because they show up in every day life. And if they don’t… do you REALLY need to focus a lot of time on that?
• What if we don’t like this, how hard will it be to catch up? Kids are resilient. Truth is, if you had to do some more traditional approach to learning later down the road, at least the kids would have had this respite time. AND it would have given them the opportunity to mature and grow. So much research is done about kids being forced to learn things too soon - and it takes so much longer. When kids learn facts later, it’s often much quicker. 
• Will doors close if we do this? Like college or career options? Nope! More doors actually open! Kids who are allowed to learn like this are able to see what their own interests and preferences are. When they can move in that direction, they have more life experiences in these areas making them IDEAL candidates for colleges and careers when the time comes.
• How do I get a handle on my own worry and anxiety over this? Read more. Put yourself on an Unschooling Workout Plan. Dedicate a little time each day to learn more and undo some of the old way of thinking. You don’t jump off a couch and climb a mountain! It will take a little self-discipline to rewire some of this… but a little bit every day adds up.  And, exposing yourself to more people who embrace learning differently from the norm will help a lot. That may even mean to step away from some of your more hard-core homeschooling friends for a little bit. Especially if they make you feel pressured or judged. My mom used to say, “Maybe you need some new friends… just for a little while.” Try to stay in some common neutral ground, or take a little break. Come hang out with us in my private coaching group - you’ll get a lot of support - and that will definitely build up your confidence. Sometimes that’s all it takes to be able to move through your regular circles of friends… just knowing you have other friends too, that get it.

OK...that’s a lot for today! I hope it helps! 



Remember, you’re not stuck what you've been doing. You can make whatever changes need to happen for your family. You have that freedom to move around and find what will work for you. Don't expect to get it all right immediately. Making mistakes shows you what's working and what isn't - and then you are able to create a realistic road map of wht what will work and what won't for your unique family.

You don’t have to know the whole plan ahead of time, you just have to keep learning more about your options! No one taught you how to individualize things - so that's what we're figuring out together here!

Reach out if you need more support and remember that podcast listeners don’t have to pay that sign up fee to join the membership group!