What’s Holding You Back from Unschooling?

What's Holding you back from Unschooling

Podcast Transcript

What’s Holding You Back?
…from unschooling?

So many moms and dads have worries about choosing this unschooling path.

Maybe it’s about how the kids are going to cover all the necessary subjects if they don’t get in there and do something about it.
Or maybe it’s about technology use at your house and you’re not happy with the choices the kids are making.
Or maybe you’re not connecting with your kids - your personalities are just not clicking well.

So many reasons to hesitate about this unschooling thing!

And because I’ve talked to thousands of parents over the years, sometimes people are looking for reasons why unschooling thing won’t work for them and their kids? Their situation is Too unique? Or their kids are too hard?

A lot of, people want someone to say,
“That’s ok. You’re right. Stay with the status quo.”

But that’s not what I want to do for you here on today's podcast!

I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. I’m coming to you with 25 years of experience talking with unschooling families - seeing what works and what doesn’t.

And then there’s my own 3 grown kids who were unschooled - each with wildly different childhoods and interests and each with very different young adult lives. But all 3 were happy with this unconventional approach we took - and they’d report to you that it didn’t close any doors for them! In fact it opened them.

So I want to bring you some reassurance. I make all kinds of resources to help you build your unschooling confidence.
I’ll add them in the show notes so you can tap into these too.

But back to this idea of tough love when it comes to parents who are resisting unschooling. That’s kind of funny coming from me - because I don’t think anyone would call me harsh or dogmatic. One of my clients called me The Confidence Whisperer! Probably because I really listen and I hear the fear in parents’ voices. I’m more likely to say something like… “Yeah, it’s hard. But could it be something like this?”

Because I really do get it. I had a lot of missteps and resistance along my own unschooling journey. I have all this confidence now because my kids are in their late 20s and early 30s. It’s not a hypothetical situation any more. Unschooling worked. And every time I caved into my fear, chose the more conventional route, resisted the ideas that are more unschooling-aligned, *I* made it harder. *I* put the unnecessary speed bumps in the road. And I want you to avoid the mistakes I made - and those I saw and still see others making!!

Unschooling works. I have no doubt.

But the ball is in your court. We all have to do our own legwork to overcome the hurdles in our own minds. That’s part of the problem - WHILE a lot of people share similar obstacles, so many variables are tossed into the mix. It’s why I can’t say, Here ya go - the Formula for Unschooling Success! I can give you a road map… but it’s more like one of those Choose Your Own Adventure chapter books. Your story line can end up way different from someone else’s - but it will fit you.

You have to look at YOUR particular fears - and gather the unschooling information about countering them. Sometimes these can feel overwhelming- for all kinds of reasons!

  • Maybe we aren’t used to doing something everyone disapproves of,
  • Maybe we see that the kids are NOT thriving with the school ish approach, but… the next steps, actually doing something about it, scares the crud out of you!
  • Maybe you’re surrounded by critics who have all sorts of varying motivations to get you back in line and conform like everyone else does!
  • Or maybe you cracked the code for school yourself and it was no problem- so you’re wondering why it has to be so hard for your kid?

And that’s just a few of the problems - and I do like to keep these to under 10 minutes, so let’s move on from there.

The reason to share all of this is to circle back to that original point - let’s look at what’s holding you back.

I’m not oblivious to the criticism people have for unschooling. I have pretty much heard it all. And I still believe it’s the best choice for any kid. But it’s all about whether their parent wants to take on the project! It’s going to be facing some fears, letting go of some stories that aren’t really true - and all of that takes courage.

But you don’t have to do it alone!

Thousands of other parents haves done this or are wading into all of it right now as we speak!

I want you to know that EVERYONE fears that their worry or concern, their child, their family dynamic is going to be too much for this unschooling idea!

But that’s just fear talking! like any boogeyman in the closet. Once we shine some light on it, we can see it’s just a scarf on a hanger - It’s not a monster in there, it’s just shadows and fear.

So… what to do!?

  1. Overcome your fears by looking them in the eye. What is it? Is it true? Why am I holding onto something that might NOT be true? We have reasons for everything we do. It’s just that sometimes they’re not all that rational. Or they come from little voices in our head from our past. Time to look at all of that.
  2. Read at the Unschooling Mom2Mom website every day. The Um2M website has tons of information to help you tackle your fears and learn more about unschooling and deschooling! Just a blogpost or a podcast every day, with your morning coffee. Or while the kids are occupied in the afternoon. Or before bed. Whatever works. Just start a new habit. It’s like building up your unschooling muscles.
    Learn how unschooling works and how important deschooling is.
  3. Join the coaching group (even just for a month!) to get help and be immersed in unschooling
  4. Expect to have some uncomfortableness. Don’t expect that undoing all of those old ways is going to be an easy process. Sometimes we hold onto stories in our heads way beyond their usefulness.

So that’s what I’d say needs to happen.

Take a deep breath and think about...

What’s Holding YOU Back from unschooling?

And if you’re looking for something specific, write to me at Q4Sue. It’s a new form I have for you to use so the Questions and answers aren’t tied to one particular platform. I’ll link to it in the show notes. Fill it out and we’ll be connected! I’ll email you the resources you’re looking for.

Don’t give up - unschooling works.

Yes, it takes Information and Support to be successful. And it also takes some action on your part.

So what are you going to do to grow your confidence?

THAT’S IT FROM ME.  Enjoy the kids - and the rest of the week!

Today happens to be the Chinese New Year - and GroundHog Day - and it’s a Palindrome 2/2/22

I did a fun BLOGPOST ABOUT THAT and about making a time capsule to celebrate! If you make a time capsule now, in eleven years, you can open it and it will be 3/3/33!!! How cool is that??

I’ll be back to talk with you next week. Reach out if you need help.

Leave a Reply