Unexpected Lessons - Unschoolers in Europe!
Why Life Feels Bigger When You Stop Doing Everything Alone
Just back from a summer trip to Europe, and I’ve been thinking about something I didn’t expect to notice so strongly.
I ended up doing a lot more things on my own than I’m used to. Not in a dramatic way — just the ordinary parts of travel that feel different when you’re outside your normal environment. Getting from place to place, figuring out systems, trying to understand what’s going on around you.
At some point I realized I was asking a lot of questions. Not overthinking them, just asking when I didn’t know.
Like... Where do I go from here?
Is this the right line?
Uh-oh, I don't have that ETA I need to go from France to Scotland - now what?!
Mistakes, yes? But getting comfortable with pivoting? Absolutely!
What also stood out wasn’t the asking itself, but how unremarkable it was on the other side.
Someone would just answer. Point, explain, move on. No judgment, no moment of awkwardness. Just information and then life continuing.
I started noticing how often I don’t do that at home.
You're probably like me, trying to figure things out on your own. Assuming I should already know, or deciding I didn't want to bother someone. And how much unnecessary weight that adds to simple situations.
Connections in the South of France
There was one afternoon in France that I keep coming back to.
An Unschooling Mom2Mom reader had been following along for ten years. When she heard we were only 30 minutes away, she reachedd out and invited us to stop by. We thought it would be a quick hello and then we’d head out again.
We stayed for hours.
It wasn’t planned or structured in any way. Just sitting at a table outside, talking.
Life, kids, parenting, all the things that tend to come out when people feel comfortable enough to actually say what’s real.
She is Swedish, married to an Englishman. Her friend came by from Venezuela, married to an Irishman. Teens, neurodivergent kids, very different paths, chatting away.
What I remember most is how normal it felt while it was happening, and how strange it felt afterward to think about how easily it could have never happened at all.
If she hadn’t reached out. If we had said “another time.”
If it had felt slightly too awkward or uncertain for anyone involved.
Nothing big would have blocked it. It just wouldn’t have happened.
And that’s the part that stayed with me.
One ordinary moment existed because someone made a small move toward connection.
Travel seems to make that more visible. How much of life is built out of those small decisions to reach out, or not.
To join in, or not. To ask, or not.
And how quickly things shrink when everyone waits until they feel fully ready.
Traveling isn't a Requirement...
I see the same thing with parents all the time.
Trying to sort everything out quietly on their own.
Holding questions in their head.
Wondering if they’re doing things right but not really saying it out loud.
Feeling like other people probably have it more together, so they should just keep working on it privately until they do.
And usually waiting longer than they need to before they talk to anyone.
But what tends to change things isn’t more time alone. It’s conversation.
Hearing someone else say they’ve been there and realizing something you thought was just you is actually pretty common. Something we need that different perspective and the shift comes more easily. This can happen when we step out of our comfort zone and away from being so isolated.
That’s what I kept coming back to after this trip.
Not a big lesson. Just a simple one that feels more and more true the more I notice it.
The world gets bigger when we stop doing things alone.
Sometimes that looks like traveling. Sometimes it looks like a conversation you almost didn’t start. Sometimes it’s just deciding not to keep everything contained in your own head.
That’s what I’ve tried to create with the Creating Confidence Community.
It's a place where parents can talk things through without needing to have it all figured out first. We are very casual in there - questions don’t need to be polished before they’re asked. You can hear real people working through real situations and feel a little less alone in your own.
If you’ve been carrying a lot on your own lately, you’re welcome to join us.
You don’t have to do this alone.
