Pass the Bean Dip

Sue Patterson

Have you heard people reference this phrase? "Pass the Bean Dip."
Here's a short little explanation!


Over the years, women have shared ways to cleverly remove themselves from awkward situations.
One of these methods is frequently referred to as, “Pass the Bean Dip.”


The saying was circulated on a lot on message boards from the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. Some attribute the saying to someone named Joanne at The Well-Trained Mind forum. But I have my doubts.

It sounds like a southern saying to me, something passing from generation to generation. Conversations our relatives may have heard as they maneuvered their way through the church pot luck line.
Trying to avoid questions like,
“When are ya’ll gonna have a baby?” or “Did you hear about her husband?”

And instead of responding, Grandma or Aunt Marie or whomever else we were there with, would adeptly change the subject to something neutral... like the bean dip.

So we can borrow that technique from the brilliant women, these Potluck Peacemakers or Masterful Matriarchs. 😉

When someone is asking questions about how you are unschooling (or even parenting) your child, and you’re fairly sure they’re not really looking for answers, you can get out of the hot seat by using a little distraction:
“Pass the bean dip.”

Maybe you’re not ready to go toe-to-toe in an argument about your parenting choice, or maybe the time or place is not ideal.

“Oh dahlin', be a dear and pass the bean dip, would you please?”


This will be your ticket to breathe more easily and switch up the conversation.

It’s not unlike a sports or weather distraction,

“How ’bout those Rangers?” or
“Can you believe this weather?”

You can shift to asking THEM about THEIR children - or job or lives.
People really prefer to talk about themselves than listen to you anyway! 



“Could you pass me that bean dip?”


Read a little more about how to handle difficult conversations with friends and family! 

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