Learning to Read By Backing Off

Nudging

So I tried a little bit of extra "nudging."

Nudging that was not well received by my son .

I'm a big fan of a well-placed, gentle nudge , but it should be noted that continuing to offer unwelcome nudging is nudging no longer - it becomes pushing.

I knew better ,  and yet here I was - pushing .

So I backed off . 

Well, let's be honest here. I backed off after I went ahead and made a  bit of a  mess of things .

But I backed off .   I took a deep breath and continued on -  continued to read to him, answer his questions about what things said in his video games and on television, birthday cards, signs ,  and books he would look through .

W hen I read aloud to him before bed, I would still offer to read with him if he wanted.

Sometimes.  S ometimes not . And sometimes he wanted to . And sometimes not so much .
And then were times when I didn't offer, that *he* asked .   A book that seemed to click for him, that prompted him to ask more nights than not to read to me ,  was  The Children's Story Bible .  

  It was at this point in the whole process that this  eight  year old of mine informed me  one night as we were reading together ,  that he reads all the time during the day .   All the time .  

Really...??

The  schoolish  part of me (a very teeny tiny part ,  but still there to rear her disdainful head from time to time) clucked her tongue and said,

"I don't see any of that going on, and if I don't see it and hear it and measure it, then it didn't happen. And besides, whatever it is he's doing is NOT the same thing as sitting down with ME and practicing reading."

I promptly  slapped  the  schoolish  part of me. Hard . She didn't even see it coming.     

And then I listened to my young son as he matter of  factly  told me how he reads everywhere we go. How when nobody is watching him or asking him questions, he reads signs .   Street signs, signs in restaurants, at the library, businesses we drive by and stop in .. . signs  EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME.  

I smiled and told him how awesome that was, and that one day soon he'd be able to read  anything and everything without even having to try. He just  would ,   - just  like his older sisters .   .  He was still a tad doubtful.  

After that conversation ,  I began to pay a bit more attention .   .  I discreetly watched him at moments throughout the day. Watched how observant he was, noticed the times where he stood looking at a sign or a cereal box ,  ...quietly,  sometimes mouthing the words to himself .   .  T And t he  unschooler  in me went ahead and called forth that  schoolish  part (the part I'd  pimp  slapped with relish into a dark, isolated corner) .   .  "See? Do you see that?    That's how it happens .   .  Shame on you for making me doubt, for making me not see the full value and beauty in  that ."  

My son is 9 now and will be a 4th grader  this fall .   .  He enjoys reading shorter books with lots of pictures or illustrations thrown in here and there .   .  As his skills grow, so does his confidence in himself .   .  The lure of food coupons and cheap toys through our local library's summer reading program ,  has prompted yet another burst in his reading fluency .   .  So now at night before I read to him, he'll lay there reading a  Mr. Putter and Tabby  book.  

I just sit there with him, keeping him company, waiting  for  my turn to read to him .   .  Sometimes he reads out loud to me. Other times he reads silently to himself, occasionally turning the book around and pointing to a word he can't figure out.     

The  schoolish  part of me would have made   him sound it out or  figure it out for himself .
But she's cowering in the corner  -  where she belongs .  

And now  I simply answer my son's question s .