Can a Working Parent Unschool?
Sue Patterson
Can Unschooling Work for Single Moms
or If Both Parents Work?
There's no denying, obstacles exist in these situations that don't exist elsewhere.
But, YES, it can be done. And thousands of families figure out a way to MAKE it work.
Parents simply have to get creative on how they will overcome their own unique obstacles.
It's a lot like fitting together a jigsaw puzzle.
A few simple factors need to be examined:
- How old are the children?
- How independent are the children?
- Do you have others who will help you?
- Can your work schedule be flexible?
- Can you and your spouse alternate times away from home
Unschooling requires that the parent be involved with the children. This can happen in evenings or whatever time of day the parent isn't at work. Traditional hours no longer apply.
WE CAN'T GIVE YOU ANSWERS.
WE CAN ONLY SHARE HOW OTHERS HAVE MANAGED.
AND HELP YOU SEE
THE QUESTIONS
YOU MIGHT NEED TO ADDRESS.
15 Tips We've Gathered Over the Years
- Intentional Timing. Unschooling can happen in evenings or whatever time of day the parent isn't at work. You can set up times to do things together - whenever it works for your family!
- Planning for when you're unavailable. Get organized so kids have fun things to explore on their own while you're away. Good prep work makes success more likely.
- Plan your week. Don't let this time slip through your fingers. Look at the week ahead and identify activities you want to be sure to do with the kids. You may not be planning lessons or setting up curriculum, but you are still looking for ways to connect with your kids and continue to fuel their interests and curiosities.
- Tag-Alongs. Make arrangements with other families to let your child tag along on local activities (be sure to reciprocate in some way)
- Trades. Find other families willing to let your child be at their house while you're busy - then on your days off, you could reciprocate and have their child come hang out at your house.
- Family Help. See if relatives would be interested in helping or “taking a day.” Maybe they could drive your child to an activity or children's museum or zoo. Think about where the family member's interests lie, and then think about how or if that could align with something your child would enjoy.
- Bring in Help. Could you hire a "mother's helper?" This is especially good if you need uninterrupted time when you work from home. Maybe the local homeschooling group has some younger teens who'd like to earn a little money. You can always hire more than one, based on interests. Pair up the interests of the babysitter or mother's helper with the interests of your child. I've known of parents who hired different kids to come over for a couple of hours to play a certain thing with their child. Then on another day, switching it up with a different teen who came to do other activities. This is one of those cases where you really can individualize what you need.
- Learn from friends/relatives. Would they be interested in sharing a hobby with your child?
- Fill the fridge. Be sure there are plenty of snacks and easy meals available while you're away or occupied. Think about mealtimes too - what can you make that is more convenient and easier to fix? Your child needs more time with you, MORE than they need you to make a multiple course meal from scratch. Food is interesting. Sometimes we have a lot of stories to unpack that maybe don't fit our circumstances.
- Check in. Make time for regular contact throughout the day, (text, call, Skype, FaceTime)
- Cutting back. Re-examine the finances, could you cut back your hours? If both parents are working, could one stop? Check out the suggestions in Unschooling on a Limited Budget.
- Juggling schedules. If both parents are working, consider staggering it so that one is with the kids while the other works.
- Shifting locations. Could you work from home? Some of the time?
- Focus on what's going RIGHT. It's so easy to get overly tired and allow that to seep into our perspective. Deliberately look for where things are going well. Fear and frustration will want you to focus on the negative. Create a system to focus on the joy. I can help you do this, if you need someone to talk to about ways to make this work. (Get on Sue Patterson's Coaching Calendar and get 1:1 support!)
- Stay realistic. Some days are going to fall apart. It's inevitable. But instead of beating yourself up, look at it as data to be used for the next plan. What pieces worked? What pieces need to change so the next time, you have a better chance at success?
One Mom's Approach
I was talking with another unschooling mom about how she managed as a single parent. She was able to alter her work schedule so she could be home for some of the day and gone for other parts. She also shared this:
"When he was little, I got up early and did a lot of work while he slept in. Then when he got up, I stopped work altogether. I didn't try to multi-task. I found that if I gave my son my undivided attention right away, it was as if I had filled his cup and he could do activities independently for a couple of hours. This gave ME uninterrupted time.
Then it was time for lunch and we did the process again. I found things that he wanted to do WITH me, during those times. And I made sure he had everything he needed for his independent time too. It took a little while to figure out, but we found a rhythm in this."
More Facebook Connections
- Collection of Posts about Single Parenting or Dual Income Families
(in the Unschooling Mom2Mom FB group) - Single Moms Unconventional Travel Itineraries
- Single Mom Unschooling
More to Read:
Can a Single Parent Unschool
Jan Hunt
Single Parents
Sandra Dodd Collection
How to Work and Homeschool
Pamela Price
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