3 Unschooling Actions to Take

1. Get Intentional

When we talk about unschooling with regards to parenting, I think it’s important to be intentional. It’s not a passive thing that we’re just going to wing it and get it right. That’s because most of our own upbringing was a more top-down, parent-above-all, style. And even if we think we don’t want to duplicate that kind of parenting with our own children, we’re going to have to think about what we will do instead? Thinking about specific scenarios and how you want to react, will be really helpful when you’re in the heat of the moment. Otherwise, we usually fall back on what’s familiar. It will help to find a few other parents who are choosing partnership over control and compliance.

2. Focus on Relationships and Partnering with Kids

Some people hear about “partnering with kids” and they feel the resistance. This is an indicator that you may have more to unpack than you realize. Being a strict disciplinarian can get you some kudos from a lot of other adults. But how’s the relationship with the kids? Fear-based? My experience is that kids either duplicate this harsh oppressor approach when they’re “finally in charge,” or they sneak around and do whatever they want, hoping they don’t get caught. This style of parenting rarely reaps the rewards they hoped for. It’s definitely worth reconsidering.

If you’ve been an attachment parent when your kids were babies, this approach may feel vaguely familiar. Unschooling is a lot like continuing with those attachment parenting ideas. It’s about meeting kids where they are, and seeing the value of helping them work through options too.

3. Become Better Communicators

Some of us are pretty good at this, but many of us have to work on our communication styles. Sometimes it has to do with ideas we’ve carried forward from our own childhoods about parenting, children, and expectations. Nobody is a mind reader though. We have to learn how to express ourselves better and show our kids how to do this in kind compassionate ways without needing to fall back on fear and coercion.

Making changes in our parenting styles - or even in how we view our children and our relationships with them - takes time and effort. It's a lot to process. But it doesn't have to all be done all in one week - or on your own. I'd love to have you join us in the  Membership group and be with parents who are working on this and supporting each other.  And I’m in there too, offering suggestions and brainstorming with you.

You’ll hear people say that Unschooling is a Lifestyle. And this is what they mean. Making these shifts in our parenting and interacting with our kids in a way that will make our relationships better, stronger, and really help them in the long run.