Unschooling Q & A

UNSCHOOLING Q & A

Have an Unschooling Question?
Send it to Q4Sue!

QUESTION #1:

Wendy Asked:

"My question is more on how to explain unschooling to your child (12 years old). I originally was not going to explain it other than using the umbrella of homeschool but I really feel she should know that she is not just "getting her way of not going to school" but that I am making an educated choice.
There is some background info I can give you if it helps. She has been off and on unofficially unschooling for a few years. Since the pandemic it has been mostly unschooling. I have witnessed her thriving in many ways and now that I know it's not my imagination that it's been good for her, I want to officially withdraw her from school.
I just want her to understand that she has been doing this all along and she is learning but just differently. I also feel that if I label it unschooling, that will make school "bad" and I don't want to make it seem like that she failed school or that her friends who are in school are better or worse than her. Sorry this is long. I am just trying to express my question without leaving out anything."

Sue's Response:

Makes sense.
I would say it to her just like you said it here. She has been learning all along. Give examples of where you see her progress. Not just academically, but in other ways too - like topics she’s come to know a lot about.

I understand not wanting to label school as bad - so just call it "One Way." And tell her there are multiple ways for people to learn. Some people like to watch videos, others like to go places and explore, some like to talk to people and learn best like that. So you want to offer her more choices. More options than the one-approved way that happens at school.

The pandemic has showed you that she is sooo capable of finding out more about the things that interest her - and that’s what you see your role as - a tour guide, a resource-finder, a person to bounce ideas around with. Remind her that this is how adults learn all the time - she is just getting a head start on diving into learning this way. Instead of the classroom - she has the whole world available!

That might help.

so the other part in there that I just want to talk about, is you mentioned not wanting to call it unschooling and sometimes
people see unschooling as like an anti-school in-your-face thing.
You don't HAVE TO use the word "unschooling. You could just say:

"We're doing an individualized learning program."

You don't even have to call it homeschooling. So there's a lot of different options.
I can get you some links if you need to kind of unpack a little of that about unschooling

Watch this video: Oh, That Word Unschooling

Also, if I could back up to one little phrase in your question….
You mentioned that you feared she would think

“she is getting her way of not going to school.”

Part of unschooling is partnering with the kids. Hearing what it is they want. It’s not the power struggle that is so common with mainstream parenting.
Truth is, she IS getting her way. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Actually, mentioning that to her may help move you into more unschooling. Showing that we can all change courses when we see something isn't working for us - that’s healthy. It’s also healthy to have parents that support your request to try something different. And that’s what you’re doing. Not in a “OK, but if this doesn’t work, it’s all on you!” But more of a - we have so many options. Let’s explore them and see what works for you and for our family.

Question #2

Angela has a 6 year old, former public school 1st grade teacher but realized that was not serving children well.
They began homeschooling in October. He’s in kindergarten. She also has her own business / animal sanctuary and outdoor learning program.

"I began this for my children and for all children to learn through nature and rescued animals (horses and such).
How does that work with unschooling?

It seems my little boy is not interested in sitting and learning. She tried oak meadow curriculum and like it but he is beginning to associate learning with work.
I am really liking the idea of unlearning but feel like we’re doing nothing. Lol!
He plays outside all day. Which I know is learning.
But I plan to make some spaces that he has access to arts and varied things to play and learn with.
I have that, to an extent. But before I go too far.
I wondered what is best for a kiddo like him.
I can’t seem to find what he’s passionate about.
He always says he loves construction work but doesn’t seem motivated to learn about it in what we might deem as academics. Just looking for some encouragement before I share with my husband this plan as it is not something he understands (unschooling). Thanks so much!"

Sue:

When we move out of the “Play” arena for kids - when we start to take it over so we can see the learning happening, they resist. Angela said he associates learning with work. That’s what schools do. Kids from school or recently having left, can see a toy with the word “Educational” or “Learning” written on it - and they’re like, "Nope, no thank you!"
That’s because schools have linked learning with the adult version, that “academic version” that Angela is talking about.

They’ve squeezed all the fun out of it.

When you’re feeling like you’re doing nothing, that’s when you need to read or watch or listen to more about how unschooling works. The more you really understand it, the more you’ll see that the learning is in his hardwiring - whether you see it or not. You don’t have to translate his interests into something academic. Academics happen because they’re necessary to move forward or more deeply into a topic. Right now, his depth for interest in construction is at a 6 year old level. Just give him more opportunities to play with that. PLAY is the pathway to learning - especially for kids.

The good news is that now that you’re walking away from the school approach - which I KNOW is hard for teachers! But it opens up so many other ways to learn.

He’s interested in the LEARNING part - just not the teaching part.

Think of what you’re doing now as providing more opportunities to explore - at whatever level he’s curious about. Diving into living a full rich life is the focus.

Resources that might help:
Unschooling Kindergarten 
Podcast #7: Teaching, Learning & Unschooling - it’s about shifting toward reframing learning and prioritizing partnership.
Podcast #36 Unschooling & Playtime

And there’s an Unschooling Guides that might be helpful...
You mentioned helping to get your spouse on board when you’ve been the one doing all the investigating.