A few topics come up each year as we approach the "holiday" season. Like what?

• Candy consumption
• Big Kids trick-or-treating
• Critics & Judgement

And at the bottom of this post:

• A list of spooky movies that are kid-friendly
• Halloween Memes
• Pinterest Links for fun activities

With Halloween around the corner, if you’re on any of the Unschooling Mom2Mom social media platforms (Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest), you’ve seen a few memes! We really get into holidays! And Halloween is no exception! 

But with this particular holiday, parents bump into some tough decisions.

So that’s what I want to talk with you about in this last week of October. 

Things like Candy Consumption, whether to let Big Kids Trick or Treat, and what to do with the Critics in our lives - those people who don’t like the decisions we’re making. 

Candy Consumption

So let’s start with all that candy. Yes, lots of people give out other things besides candy - and you may do this too. But if your kids trick-or-treat, they’ll be coming home with a whole lot of sugary loot!
Realistically, even if you don’t do Halloween, we’re entering The Candy Season. So this candy issue starts at Halloween and then continues on through the end of the year right? The Holidays are full of sweet treats! 

In general, most parents have been learning more about nutrition and there are some pitfalls that can come with our sugary obsession. 

That being said, candy and sweet desserts are woven into our holiday experiences.

So...what's a conscientious mom to do?

Everyone is going to handle this differently, but there are a couple of points I want to remind you about the concept of

Forbidden Fruit - When we're told we can't have something, it makes us want it more, right?
So if you fall into the camp of wanting to dole out the candy a little at a time, you’re going to elevate it’s importance to the kids. This often leads to kids sneaking to get more or lying about how much they’ve had. But when we parcel it out - making it the forbidden fruit - we’ve created that dynamic. 

Lots of parents think,

"Oh! But if I don’t put some limits on them, they’ll eat it all and make themselves sick.”

And if you HAVE been limiting it, that may well happen. But they’ll learn from that tummy ache.
And you’ll have the opportunity to talk with them about what’s going on. Remember, it’s about partnering with them - even on topics like candy.

I do remember talking to a grown unschooler who was a new mom. She had grown up with this concept.
So when she left the candy on the coffee table, her toddler was devouring it all. But, it’s ok, especially for little ones, to put the bag or bowl of candy out of their line of sight. They WILL learn to manage it, but toddlers aren’t really there yet. Enjoy the candy with them - sprinkle in other food they like.

You could even do what she did and create their own fruit roll-up style of “candy” from dehydrated fruit. The child didn’t really see the difference between that and the other candy. And the interaction between mom and child stayed positive.

Many Unschooling moms, over the years, have shared how their kids pick through what they like first, then didn’'t seem to be as interested in it later on. It takes a little bit of trust on your part though. But time and time again, we see kids learn how to manage this freedom.

At our house, we kept this black plastic "cauldron" near our front door full of the candy that had been collected at Halloween. Year after year, I'd have to dump it at the end of the following summer to get ready for the NEW candy that would be coming in. For a while, we lived on an Air Force Base, and with three kids, they had quite a haul! Interestingly, the kids who had their candy rationed out or removed entirely - they were the ones who dove into that cauldron whenever they came over. My kids kind of shrugged it off.

🗣 Follow the conversation over the Unschooling Mom2Mom Facebook Group - here
🍬 Read real-life examples of unschoolers who have dealt with candy consumption from an unschooling perspective:
True Tales of Kids Turning Down Sweets

Cavities - Lots of parents are worried about the damage sugar can do to teeth. But research shows that your DNA - whether you have strong healthy teeth - has a lot more to do with whether or not you'll get cavities. Kids who have a tendency for cavities will probably get them even if you skipped the Halloween candy altogether.

Parents in the FB group shared ideas for how to approach this:

• Rinsing with water after eating
• Eat foods that are "natural teeth cleaners" like celery, apples, hard cheeses
• Offer xylitol gum after eating candy (apparently bacteria doesn't like to grow around xylitol)
• Bringing kid flossers to them while they're watching YouTube or playing something while sitting still
• Brushing teeth before bed so it's not sitting there all night
• From a dental care standpoint, getting molars sealed and finding a dentist who works quickly with problem teeth

🍎 Interesting study:  Tooth Decay Bacteria Evolved as Diet Changed

Big Kids Trick-or-Treating

Lots of people feel like the big kids need to leave it with the littles. But I think that’s an anti-teen sentiment that’s really prevalent in society. Sure, they want free candy.

On one hand, we complain that kids grow up too quickly.
Then, we tell them they're too big for trick-or-treating!

Let’s look at what else is maybe going on:

Think of these things:

• They want to enjoy a holiday that has special memories for them
• It's an opportunity to have fun with their friends in a safe way
• Maybe they love having the chance to dress up and "play make-believe" (even though they've "outgrown" it!)
• They're part of your community too!

Don't be afraid of bigger kids!

Also Remember this...

A Child taking more than one piece of candy may have fine motor needs.

A Child taking a while to choose their candy may have motor planning or processing needs.

A Child who doesn't say, "Trick or Treat" or "Thank you" may have communication needs.

A Child without a costume may have sensory needs.

Model kindness.

You might be the only adult advocating for the big kids - but other adults have maybe just not thought of it… and they’re kind of swept up in the anti-teen sentiment that’s so common in society.

Be kind.

And remind the other adults around you to be too.

Advocate for children - all children - yours, mine, everyone's!

The adults nearby may need you to remind them to be kinder.

Childhood ends all too quickly - and some of these big kids are noticing that.

Give’em the candy - what’s it going to hurt?

Critics and Judgement

So about these other adults in our world. Some of them may be critical of you and your choices. Maybe it’s about the candy, the costumes, the big kids...oh, people have all sorts of reasons to criticize us, right?

Sometimes we need to stop and evaluate how much influence we want other people have on what we're deciding to do as parents. I saw a meme the other day that said, if you don’t like someone else’s parenting, why would we listen to their criticism?

That’s something to remember - whether it has to do with halloween or not, right?

Sometimes we've even internalized some of these judgements and we're our own worst critic!

As we move through this parenting phase of our lives, we often bring a need for approval with us. An unschooling approach would be to prioritize the relationship you have with your own children over the connection you have with other parents. 

You don't need their approval. Odds are, SOMEONE is going to dislike SOMETHING you do - no matter what you choose. So continue to move in the direction of strengthening those bonds with your kids!

Wrapping Up

About the candy...

Don’t ration it, don’t keep it from them, don’t buy it back - whatever the latest thing is.
Making it more forbidden makes it more important. The more you restrict it, the more they’ll focus on it.

About those critics, take a deep breath and make the choices YOU want to make.

About the children...prioritize advocating for the kids - big kids, little kids, your kids, my kids, everyone's kids!
Be the grown up that stands up for them. 

80+ Movie Recommendations from Unschoolers

Feel free to add more in the comments!

Fun Things to Do with the Kids!