Sometimes we hear people use the word SPARKLE when they talk about unschooling. Adding some sparkle to the day -to bring more joy.
It can be anything really! Maybe surprising them with rice crispy treats cut into Minecraft forms, or playing a medley of Trolls songs at dinner time - whatever makes their eyes light up!
And sometimes the sparkle has to do with us as the parents.
The late American Author,Toni Morrison, spoke to Oprah once about what children are looking for when they walk into a room. I’ll link to the video below, but the gist is that parents often size a child up quickly… is their hair brushed? Their clothes ok? We think we are working in their best interests. (Although that may not REALLY be true). But we quickly skim past what’s right and focus on what needs to be fixed.
And it turns out, all kids really want is for your face to light up when they come into the room!
They want your expression to say,
“I love you!
“I’m so glad you are here!
Do you sparkle when you see them?
So that’s what I want you to focus on this week in this week full of special events:
- Jupiter/Saturn Conjunction
- Yaldā Night
- Winter Solstice
- And just having wrapped up Hanukkah
So yes, I’m asking you to add more to your life this week - add more SPARKLE!
It’s free. It’s easy. It just takes a little mind shift.
Adding more sparkle demonstrates to the kids that you value their interests - which they translate Into you valuing them!
So often we can get caught up in some story of how we wish they would be… or how we wish so many things were different.
There is NO sparkle to be found in that.
And in fact, when we go down this negative spiral, we miss all the good things happening right in front of us. We may even see them and dismiss them - preferring to focus our thoughts on what’s not going right. It could be some of our perfectionistic tendencies. Or maybe we’’re seeing that the kids are extensions of ourselves - so when they don’t show up great, we feel it reflects poorly on us. If that’s the case, there’s something for us to work on, right?
But the bottom line, when we have thoughts like this, is we’re missing out on the good stuff! And so are the kids. And it really wouldn’t have been that are to make that shift for everyone.
The thing is, it doesn’t matter what our INTENTION is when we interact with our child. Often there’s some miscommunication happening. We are trying to help them (that’s our intention), but what they HEAR is that they’re not good enough “As Is.” And their takeaway is what really matters.
So this week,
I want you to focus on the sparkle!
In the here and now.
Maybe it’s a game night, or an array of treats
… maybe an evening walk to enjoy the starry sky
… or a cozy fire where you listen to an audiobook or watch a movie together.
Whatever it is - even if it’s just to take Toni Morrison’s advice and let them see your face light up when they walk into the room - add a little sparkle to each day this week. It could become a new habit.
Because we could all use a little more Sparkle!