What Should They Learn?

Sue Patterson

I read a blog about "What should children learn?" They were trying to think outside the box. They wondered if the focus on traditional subjects is really all that important.


Seeing the responses was interesting. I had an inkling that my list would not resemble too many others, but with 3 teenagers, and 2 grown step-kids with children of their own, here's what I think are the most important things children should learn:


  • Kindness and compassion. Learn how to put yourself into other people's shoes. When everyone else jumps on a bandwagon against something someone did, hold back a little bit.


  • Live in the moment. Realize that there are about 16 waking hours in a day. And when they're gone, they're gone. There's nothing wrong with having a little "down time" but make sure you have some "up time too."


  • Listen to people when they talk to you. Give them your full attention. Think about what they're saying but also why they might be saying it to you.


  • Learn healthy eating choices and find exercise that you like and can do nearly every day. You're going to be in this body for a while - longer if you take care of it


  • Learn your strengths and your weaknesses. Do something about or with both. Take time to get to know yourself.


  • Learn about the nature of advertising and marketing.


  • Learn how to pursue your interests. Learn how to find information on the internet.


  • Be brave. Try new things. You never know what you might actually like.


These are what come to mind when I think about what children should be taught. In school curriculum, I think they call these "threads." They are supposed to permeate different subjects year after year. I like the idea of these topics being the important threads. I believe the reading, writing, and math will present itself. And if you need these more traditional "subjects" for a job you'd like to pursue, that's why we have community college.


Interesting that the topic emerged again, over a decade later!


In the Unschooling Mom2Mom FB group, parents are sharing what they hope their child learns by the time they're 18. My list didn't vary too much from back here, when my kids were still living at home.


But I did have another thought...


We should think about why turning 18 carries such significance.
Is it just because we hope they learn by the time they grow up and move out?
As if all learning stops once they're no longer under our roof?


Because I want everyone to remember that there's no Finish Line for learning. Age 18 is an arbitrary number that we've all just accepted because so many kids graduate at that age. But learning is not "done" then! Here you are (probably) over 18, reading and learning about unschooling online.


I think it has to more to do with that concept that learning is no fun and learners must be coerced to learn. That idea that if adults don't MAKE the kids do it, they'll never learn anything new or important. Such and ego-based unrealistic way of looking at it!


But here we are: adults with the audacity to CONTINUE to learn after age 18, after school stopped - proving that tired school trope to be wrong. As Human Beings, we're hard-wired to learn because we're always trying to figure things out. That means searching for solutions and LEARNING NEW THINGS!
It's insane to say that learning stops when the school doors close - or the homeschooling kid turns 18!


Let's not cling to that pressure that things have to happen by a certain age or else all is lost! It's not. Doors don't close.

Anyone can learn anything at any time!


And... as it turns out... that teacher-driven schooly approach to learning wasn't the One Right Answer after all.


I get it, we're creating an awesome list here of important ideas over at the free FB group - way more important than school subjects, IMO.


And you can join us over there anytime!

Unschooling & Timelines
By Sue Patterson July 24, 2026
Wondering why unschooling feels like it isn’t working? Learn how school timelines fuel fear, hide real progress, and make learning harder to trust.
What if you had more unschooling moms in your life?
By Sue Patterson July 11, 2026
Many unschooling parents feel isolated because they don't have local families who understand their educational choices. Here's why finding an community matters.
Person pointing at colorful animal illustrations in an open book
By Sue Patterson July 9, 2026
Worried your child is behind? Learn why unschooling challenges traditional learning timelines, what healthy learning really looks like.
Summer Let's Rethink Homeschooling
By Sue Patterson July 8, 2026
Summer is the Perfect Time to Rethink Homeschooling Feeling pressure to choose curriculum, fix learning gaps, or make plans for next year? This episode explores why summer is a natural transition season for homeschooling and unschooling families, how to let go of educational timelines, and how to recognize learning that is already happening.
fear
By Sue Patterson June 23, 2026
Is fear is influencing more of your homeschooling decisions than you realize?When we're anxious about our children's future, it's easy to mistake fear for wisdom and urgency for insight.
Teen holding a game controller in front of a TV with a bowl of snacks nearby
By Sue Patterson June 14, 2026
What does it really look like when kids play video games all day in an unschooling home? A real look at daily life, patterns, and what parents often miss.
beach - woman pondering - dog waiting
By Sue Patterson June 12, 2026
Are homeschooling or unschooling questions stealing your summer? Get practical guidance, reassurance, and clarity before the new school year begins this fall.
Person wearing white headphones gaming at a desktop computer in a blue-lit room
By Sue Patterson June 11, 2026
Worried that your child's online friends aren't "real" friends? Explore how gaming friendships develop, what healthy online relationships look like, and how to think about online safety.
You're not alone - unschoolers meeting in south of france
By Sue Patterson June 10, 2026
Travel reflections and unschooling
Person sits on rug gaming in front of a TV showing a car racing game in a cozy living room
By Sue Patterson June 8, 2026
Can kids learn from video games? Explore how gaming can translate into history, science, math, leadership, and more, plus how to document it on a homeschool transcript.
More Posts