Unschooling Mom Self-Care

Self-care - what a buzzword!

It sounds like it could be... bath salts, weekend get aways.

But then Real Life pops in and says, “You’re kidding, right?”

But self care can mean a few deep breaths before you get out of bed. Stretching your legs and your feet and your arms - before you even hit the floor. 30 seconds. The chaos in the other room can give you 30 seconds. It will be there waiting for you.

• Self care can mean fixing your favorite tea in a pretty cup while you gaze out the window into your garden. Or it can mean grabbing a diet coke and dreaming of what your yard will look like some day when it’s not overrun with toys and dog poop. 
  
  
  
• Self care means knowing where you can and can’t spend the little bit of leftover money you have. It may be about setting aside money for experiences with your kids, because that’s what they’ll remember. 
  
  
  
• Self care may be about using your money to feel good with the people you love - instead of spending it on looking good to other people. Being intentional about money.

• Self-care may mean thinking ahead of time about season passes or museum and theme park memberships. 
  
  
  
• Self care means building a life you don’t need to escape.
  Sure, there are times you need to call in for reinforcements - but overall, the goal is to not be unhappy about the life choices you’ve made.
  
  
  
• Self-care may mean getting help. Finding a mother’s helper to play with the kids while you get some things done. Or some two hour drop-off place so you can take a nap.

• Self-care is taking the time to counter those voices in our heads about not being good enough, or doing enough for or with our kids. Self-care is unpacking all of that so we know - deep down - that we ARE enough. We are exactly what they need.

• Self-care may mean taking a minute to plan out what to eat for the next few days so you’re not flying into the fast food line because you’re out of time.
  Self-care is not beating yourself up when you DO fly into that fast-food line. 

• Self care is stopping the constant comparison to other people. People richer with more child-care help. People with prettier lives on Instagram. People who seem so confident all the time in all their life choices. Self-care is saying, “Good for you. Now, on to my day…” 

• Self-care is reminding yourself that you have choices. It’s noticing if we tend to feel like Life is unfair or we are the victim - and doing a little personal work to reframe that a little better. It’s about recognizing that every day brings more choices of what you’ll do and where you’ll draw the line. 

• Self-care is questioning your why’s or why not’s? Self-care is about being intentional. Slowing down enough to see that you CAN do - at least some of the things - that you want to do. Or that you can start yourself on the path toward the bigger goal. But it’s definitely hopping off that conveyor belt that moves us along and leaves us with that feeling of “How did I get HERE?”

• Self-care is examining the “Have-to’s.”
  It’s your life. Do you really have to?
  
  
  
• Self-care is less about treating yourself and more about parenting yourself - a parent that is kind and thoughtful, compassionate and understanding. Yes, be these things to your kids - but be them to yourself too. 

• Self-care is recognizing that you don’t need to be “fixed,” as much as you need to be taking care of yourself so you can move throughout your life with intention. Remember, there’s no big rush. It’s not a race. You’re not behind. You’re where you need to be right now.

• Self care may be walking away from the laundry or a sink full of dishes so you can parent the way you want to parent. Or so you can take a walk and come back refreshed.

• Self care might be about planning out some stretches for your body that you can do while you’re leaning over your kid playing Minecraft. Your body gets some needed stretching and you and your kid are connecting over his favorite game.

• Self-care is not vilifying your natural tendency for introversion or extroversion. The world needs all these personalities. You need to make time and space to be who you are - without always trying to change that.

• Self-care is putting some distance between you and the people who make you feel badly about your choices. It’s bringing in more people who celebrate your wins with you and lift your spirits when things are tough. 

The bottom line ⤵

Self-care is up to you.
No one is going to do it for you.

But you have a couple minutes every day to think about where YOU want to set your priorities in this one beautiful life you have. 


What a great example that will be for your kids
- and what a fabulous life you’ll be creating for yourself.