Unschooling Mom2Mom

Radical Unschooling (And Why You Don’t Need to Be Afraid of It)

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 17:02:24 GMT

Radical unschooling is often misunderstood as extreme, hands-off parenting or a rejection of learning altogether.

In reality, radical unschooling is about going to the root of how children learn best — through connection, trust, and real life. It's not limited to academics - it's about ALL Learning.
This post explains what radical unschooling actually means, what it doesn’t, and why it’s far more intentional than most people assume.

Radical Unschooling: What It Really Means (and Why It’s Not Extreme)

“Radical unschooling” sounds scary to a lot of people.

That reaction makes sense. The word radical tends to conjure images of chaos, extremes, or an “anything goes” approach to parenting and learning. Add in the misunderstandings people already have about unschooling, and it’s easy to see why this term raises eyebrows.

But most of that fear comes from a misunderstanding — of the word radical, and of unschooling itself.

Let’s slow it down and look at what it actually means.

What People Think Radical Unschooling Means

When people hear the phrase radical unschooling, they often picture things like:

No boundaries
No learning
Parents doing nothing
Kids running the house
Chaos with no direction

That picture can feel unsettling, especially if you care deeply about your child’s well-being and future. And to be clear — that fear is understandable.

But that picture isn’t what radical unschooling actually is.

Not even close.

This is the image most people have in their heads — and it’s understandable.

Radical Unschooling

Does Not Mean Reckless Parenting

The word radical doesn’t mean wild or irresponsible.

It means going to the root .

Radical unschooling focuses on the root of learning, not just the surface behaviors we’ve been taught to monitor or control. Instead of asking, “Does this look like school?” the question becomes, “What supports real growth here?”

At the root, you’ll find things like:

Curiosity
Connection
Trust
Autonomy
Relationship

These aren’t extreme ideas. They’re human ones.

The Core Values Behind Radical Unschooling

One of the biggest misconceptions is that unschooling — especially radical unschooling — removes important parental roles.

It doesn’t.

Radical unschooling does not remove:

Guidance
Limits
Conversations
Support
Responsibility
Parental involvement

Nothing essential disappears.

What does disappear is the idea that control, compliance, or constant oversight are the best tools we have.

What Unschooling Is — and Is Not

It may help to name this clearly.

Unschooling is not :

Feral
Hands-off
“Anything goes”

And it’s also not :

Authoritarian
Fear-based
Control-driven

Radical unschooling is not a lack of parenting.

It’s intentional, engaged parenting — just guided by different priorities.

How Radical Unschooling

Changes the Focus of Learning

The real shift isn’t about doing less. It’s about focusing differently.

That shift often looks like:

Control → connection

Compliance → curiosity

Forcing learning → supporting it

Managing behavior → understanding needs

This can feel unfamiliar, especially if you were raised in systems that emphasized obedience, performance, or external validation.

But it’s a shift toward relationship, not away from responsibility.

Radical Unschooling

as Intentional, Relationship-Centered Parenting

At its core, radical unschooling is about:

Prioritizing connection
Clear, respectful communication
Learning mutual respect
Holding boundaries without force
Putting the relationship first

This is where learning — and trust — actually grow.

Radical Unschooling Is About Doing What Matters Most

Radical unschooling isn’t about stepping back because you don’t care.

It’s about stepping in with clarity, presence, and intention.

Nothing about caring deeply for your child is extreme.

If the term radical unschooling has made you uneasy, that’s okay. The label isn’t important.

Learning better ways to support our kids is what actually matters.

"I like this, but how do I shift my own mindset about it?"

Glad you asked! You do it with others who are doing the same thing.

We talk about these kinds of things n my membership group. You need support, brainstorming, space, to figure out what will work at your house with YOUR family. I can help you without a dogmatic way of approaching unschooling.
We all embrace some parts before others — that's how we learn to individualize in ways that will really work.

Test the waters! 7 day Free Trial.
Encouraging voice notes, tips, and inspiration to help keep you moving in the unschooling direction.

Tired of figuring this out alone?
Sue and her private community of unschooling parents can help you feel more confident and less isolated!

Frequently Asked Questions About Radical Unschooling

What is radical unschooling?

Radical unschooling is an approach to learning and parenting that focuses on the root of learning — connection, trust, and real-life experiences — rather than school-based structures or forced academics. When someone uses the word "radical" combined with unschooling, they're emphasizing the lifestyle and parenting choices, instead of of the homeschooling method.

Radical unschooling prioritizes intentional parenting, clear communication, and supportive relationships.

Why differentiate Radical Unschooling from "Regular" Unschooling?

Good question. It came about because some people were only willing to go "so far" with regards to unschooling. They saw it as a homeschooling method, not a lifestyle choice. They focused on bringing academics to the child in more unconventional ways. But parenting was still more mainstream.

Why use the term "Radical?" Doesn't it convey extremism?

It does, unless you're thinking mathematically. And the person who coined the term - or used it most "back in the day" was a mathematician. So it was a logical option for them to describe how they were going to the root of the word.

Is radical unschooling extreme?

"Extreme" will be in the eye of the beholder, right? If you consider partnering with your child to help them learn how to navigate the world, then it won't seem extreme at all. But if you prefer a more top-down authoritarian parenting style, it will seem quite extreme.

Does radical unschooling mean no rules or boundaries?

No. Radical unschooling does not remove boundaries, guidance, or parental involvement. Limits, support, and responsibility are still present, just held without force or fear.

Do kids still learn academics with radical unschooling?

Yes. Children learn naturally through curiosity, real-life experiences, conversation, and engagement. Learning is supported rather than forced, and academics emerge in meaningful, relevant ways.

Is radical unschooling hands-off parenting?

No. Radical unschooling is not hands-off or permissive. It involves active, engaged parenting that prioritizes relationship, understanding needs, and mutual respect. Read: Unschooling is NOT UnParenting.

*Note from Sue:
I didn't use the term "radical unschooling" when my children were growing up. Yet, by definition, that's what we were doing. I was listening to them, helping them find what they needed, making choices based upon what worked for our family. But when we first started unschooling in 1996, the word "radical" hadn't really been introduced yet. And over the years, a lot of people did take the word to mean more of a revolutionary or "hands-off" style of unschooling. This was when I stepped away from labels that didn't really fit us.

I invite you to not get too attached to the label - no matter what you choose.
Focus on meeting your kids where they are, dismantling your own beliefs about "learning," "raising children" and "being a good mother." That will be a better use of your time.

10 Reasons Spring is for Unschoolers

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 14:35:55 GMT

Spring is a perfect example of how the seasons provide all the “curriculum” we actually need.

Instead of buying programs or setting up artificial hoops for kids to jump through, unschooling families are tapping into what’s already happening—longer days, time outside, real-life experiences, and natural curiosity.

This is where learning becomes easier to see... and easier to trust.

If you’ve been almost unschooling or still wondering how this works, spring is often when things start to click.

10 Reasons to Try Unschooling This Spring

1

Spring Break... all season long!

You don’t have to squeeze adventures into one week every spring - with thousands of other people trying to do the same!

When your days aren’t built around school, there’s more room for things to unfold naturally.

2

No Race to "Finish the Year."

That pressure to wrap things up disappears when learning isn’t tied to a timeline.

Nothing important gets left behind just because a date changed - you have all the time in the world!

3

It’s nice out… so you go outside

You don’t have to justify it or fit it in—you can just follow the day.
And a lot of learning shows up when you do.

What's included:

Real-Life learning (no curriculum needed!)
Learning Objectives for each subject
No pressure — more connection
Ideas you can actually use!
Learn from Spring Holidays too!

Don't waste money on curriculum when Spring is right outside your door! So many ways to learn!

Need Ideas?

Let Spring BE the Lesson Plan!

Who Needs This?

Parents worried they're not doing enough
Parents who need a creativity boost
Parents who have to convert play-based learning into progress reports
Parents who are ALMOST unschooling
Parents looking for a few reminders of what's right there waiting

4

No Spring Testing Stress

There’s nothing to prove when you can already see learning happening.

It becomes easier to trust what’s right in front of you.

5

Spring Doesn't belong behind a desk

Some things make more sense to experience than to study.
Instead of being cooped up in a classroom, unschoolers can get outside and explore nature and spring for themselves!

6

Field Trips without Permission Slips

You can go when it makes sense, not when it’s scheduled.
What if the weather is actually better to go the next day instead? You can switch it up easily. And stay as long as you like.

7

No Rushed Mornings

Your day doesn’t have to start with pressure to stay on track.
Things tend to go smoother when you’re fully rested.

8

Review Season or Real Life?

You don’t have to circle back—you can keep moving forward with what’s interesting.
And that momentum matters more than repetition.

9

Travel when it makes sense

So much more flexibility when life doesn't have to revolve around a school calendar.
You can make decisions based on your life, not a system.

Plus shorter lines and cheaper prices!

10

Learning Thrives without Pressure

Things feel lighter when nothing is being forced.
And that’s usually when the best learning happens.
Life can have so much more JOY!

More about:

Seasonal Unschooling

Unschooling by Subject in the Spring

How Do Unschooling Parents Make Plans?

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 14:00:06 GMT

One of the questions unschooling parents ask all the time is:

“But how do you plan anything?”

Most of us were trained to believe planning means lesson plans, subjects, and assignments.

So when you remove curriculum, it can feel like you’ve removed the roadmap too.

But unschooling planning isn’t about deciding what your child must learn next.

It’s about shaping a life where curiosity has room to grow.

Planning as an Unschooling Parent (Without Turning Into a Teacher)

One of the biggest questions parents ask when they move toward unschooling is - and something we talk about regularly in my membership community :

“If we don’t use curriculum... how do we plan anything?”

It’s a fair question. Most of us were trained to believe planning means:

lesson plans
subjects
assignments
measurable outcomes

But unschooling planning looks very different.

You’re not planning what your child must learn.

You’re planning an environment where learning can happen easily.

So this week we're talking abut planning as unschoolers.

I want to help you get 3 practical tools or techiques—and some explanation about why this all matters.

Start With the Week Ahead

Instead of planning school, look at the actual rhythm of your family’s week.

What’s already on the schedule? What are the "have-to's"

appointments
sports practices
errands
visiting friends
library day
quiet time at home

Those things matter. They shape the energy of the week.

Sometimes the most useful “planning” moment is simply standing at the calendar and saying:

“Let’s look at the week ahead.”

You might ask simple questions like:

Is this a busy week or a slower one?
Are there days we’ll mostly be home?
Is there anything fun we want to add?

This keeps planning grounded in real life , not imaginary school schedules.

Hello!

If you're new to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast, welcome to our 6th season!

I'm your host, Sue Patterson. The real person behind all things Unshooling Mom2Mom...

I'm coming here weekly to offer you short little bits of encouragement. A ten-minute peptalk. And usually a few resources to help you dive deeper - because we can't really undo all the conditioning we've grown up with in 10 minutes a week.

Before we dive into today's topic, I do want to let anyone listening who is feeling really alone, I have a private memberhip community you can be part of. Multiple calls a week, a private portal filled with information that can help - plus the Creating Confidence Daily app where I'm recording DAILY voicenotes. Guidance and reassurance.

You have 2 main ways to get support from me - the membership community - where you get everyone else too to help you brainstorm for solutions and the Daily App. Here's the link:

Think in Terms of Possibilities, Not Requirements

Unschooling planning is mostly about gathering possibilities .

Maybe you notice:

a new documentary that looks interesting
a museum exhibit nearby
a recipe someone wants to try
a game the kids might enjoy
a book that connects to a curiosity

You don’t assign these things.

You put them within reach .

Some families call this strewing.

Others just call it leaving interesting things around .

The key difference from school planning is this:

You are not planning what must happen.

You’re preparing what could happen.

Plan for Connection

Another overlooked part of unschooling planning is relationship time .

You might think about:

watching a show together
cooking together
driving somewhere interesting
starting a conversation about something you noticed

These small moments often become the doorway to learning - or at least the doorway to the parents knowing more about how the child is thinking or viewing various situations.

Kids ask questions when they feel relaxed and connected—not when they feel managed.

Maybe You Can Relate...

A lot of parents who used to homeschool in more traditional ways tell me they miss the time they spent doing lessons together. They remember that kitchen-table time as connection.

But if we’re honest, the kids probably didn’t experience it that way.

For many of them, it was simply the thing they had to get through before they could go do what they actually wanted to do.

So when families move toward unschooling and that side-by-side lesson time disappears, it can feel like something important was lost. But what’s really happening is that the old routine that looked like connection is gone.

Real connection usually feels different. It’s the difference between doing something you both enjoy… and someone tolerating the lesson plan because they really have no choice.

When we’re not relying on school routines anymore, we have to become a little more creative about noticing those moments that actually feel good for both people. That’s where the real connection starts to show up.

Pay Attention to the Season You’re In

Every family has different seasons.

Some weeks feel expansive:

lots of energy
new projects
new places

Other weeks feel quieter:

everyone is tired
people want more downtime
the house feels like the right place to stay

Sometimes, when you're standing in front of that calendar, you can notice that you need to sprinkle in a stay-at-home day after a few busy ones.... or vice versa. It's a rhythm that may vary within the week and CERTAINLY varies with what family members need.

Planning in unschooling often means respecting those shifts instead of pushing through them.

Notice What’s Already Working

A simple weekly review can help you plan naturally.

Ask yourself:

What sparked curiosity this week?
What did the kids spend the most time doing?
Did anything feel rushed or stressful?

This isn’t about evaluation.

It’s about noticing patterns so you can support what’s already unfolding .

The Real Goal of Planning

Planning as an unschooling parent isn’t about controlling learning.

It’s about removing friction .

Making it easier for curiosity to show up.

Making it easier for conversations to happen.

Making it easier for interesting things to cross your family’s path.

When you do that consistently, learning starts to appear everywhere.

And eventually you realize something important:

You’re not planning school.

You’re building a life where learning naturally fits.

3 Simple Planning Tools Unschooling Parents Use

The

“Look at the Week”

Conversation

1. The "Look at the Week" Conversation

This is the simplest planning tool—and often the most useful.

Instead of creating a schedule, you just look at the week ahead together .

Stand near the calendar and notice what’s already there:

sports practice
appointments
library day
visiting friends
errands

Then you might say something like:

“Looks like Tuesday is busy. Maybe Monday's a stay home day - Minecraft Day!

Or:

“We’re already going near the library Wednesday. Want to stop in?”

This kind of planning helps kids begin to think about their time without feeling managed .

It also helps everyone

see how learning fits naturally into life.

The

“Idea Parking Lot”

2. The "Idea Parking Lot."

Unschooling parents collect ideas all the time.

I listed some earlier but maybe this week has:

a local event or festival coming up
a kit, or craft project you spotted
a park, trail, or place in town you haven’t explored yet
weird historical story you ran across
A You Tube channel someone recommended
a podcast or a show that you heard about that seems like something your te

Instead of assigning these things, just keep a place where ideas live .

Some families use:

a whiteboard
a shared note on their phone
a sticky note wall
a page in a notebook

Kids can glance at it when they’re bored or curious.

Nothing is required.

It’s simply a menu of possibilities.

The Weekly

“Just Data”

Review

3. The Weekly "Just Data" Review

This one helps parents avoid falling into the “Are we doing enough?” spiral.

Once a week, take a minute to look back.

Ask yourself:

What sparked curiosity this week?
What did the kids spend a lot of time doing?
Did anything feel rushed or stressful?

Maybe you realize:

afternoons work better for outings
mornings are better for quiet time
the kids are really deep into a particular interest

Those observations naturally shape how the next week unfolds.

You’re not making big decisions about what you see.

You’re simply noticing patterns.

What Planning Really Means in Unschooling

Over time, unschooling planning becomes less about creating structure and more about noticing patterns .

You begin to see:

where curiosity shows up
what environments help your kids thrive
what rhythms make the week feel smoother

Instead of pushing learning, you start supporting the learning that’s already happening .

And that’s when planning starts to feel less like work... and more like paying attention.

A Different Kind of Planning

Planning in an unschooling home doesn’t mean mapping out everything your child will learn.

It means paying attention.

Paying attention to your child.
To what sparks their curiosity.
To the rhythm of your family’s life.

Some weeks will feel full of activity.
Other weeks will feel slower.

Both are normal.

Over time you begin to notice something surprising: learning doesn’t need nearly as much management as we were taught.

When kids live in an environment filled with conversation, interesting ideas, real-world experiences, and supportive adults, learning shows up everywhere.

And eventually the question shifts from:

“How do I plan school?”

to something much simpler:

“What kind of life do we want to build together this week?”

Keep Unschooling Front of Mind

When the world around you keeps pushing the old status quo, you need gentle reminders and a steady stream of ideas.

These two resources were created to support unschooling families in everyday life - check out the free 7-day trials!

Strewing Calendar

A simple way to keep interesting ideas circulating in your home. A downloadable printable calendar along with daily prompts, seasonal ideas, and conversation starters that help curiosity show up naturally—without turning it into lesson plans.

See what you think:

Creating Confidence

Daily encouragement and community support to help you stay grounded in your unschooling mindset.

Short daily nudges help interrupt those “Am I doing enough?” thoughts and replace them with calm perspective and practical reassurance.

Let's get you more unschooling support!

A little more over at Substack

The Reality of Pi Day for Unschooling Families

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 14:36:20 GMT

Pi Day Without the Hype — When "Fun Learning" Falls Flat

Why Pi Day sometimes lands differently in unschooling homes — and why that’s completely okay.

You were excited about Pi Day.
You found some fun ideas...
Maybe a meme or two.
Maybe even plans to bake a pie.

But the kids?

Not impressed.

If that’s happens at your house, you’re not alone.

This shows up often in unschooling homes — but it’s not limited to unschoolers. Sometimes parents are excited because of their own school memories, while kids are seeing the whole thing from a completely different perspective.

And that difference can tell us something important about how curiosity and learning actually work.

Every Year, here comes Pi Day

Every year the calendar circles back to March 14 — and along comes Pi Day.

If you spend any time around teachers or homeschool groups, you’ll start seeing it everywhere:

Worksheets.
Circle experiments.
Pie baking.
Lots and lots of pie.

Schools love Pi Day because it’s a chance to make math feel more exciting for a day.

Traditional homeschoolers often do the same thing. There are entire websites full of Pi Day lesson plans and themed math activities.

Unschooling families sometimes approach it a little differently.

And after nearly 30 years in this community, I’ve noticed something interesting about how Pi Day tends to play out in unschooling homes.

Why I’m Not a Big Pi Day Fan Anymore

Now don’t get me wrong.

I actually enjoy Pi Day.

I have a little collection of Pi memes that still make me laugh. They’re perfect for texting to older kids who appreciate nerdy jokes.

When my kids were growing up, we often baked a pie with the π symbol carved into the crust every March.

My kids—now in their 30s—still remember that tradition.

I’m not even sure they remember why we did it… but they remember the pie.

And honestly, that’s usually how these things work.

Kids remember the little playful moments , not the lesson behind them.

You might text them a Pi Day joke.
Send them a meme.
Bake a pie together.

They might roll their eyes at you.

That’s part of the charm.

The Unschooling Reality Check

Here’s where things shift a little.

In many educational settings, adults try to sell activities to kids by saying:

"This is going to be FUN!"

But kids know the difference between something that’s genuinely fun and something that’s supposed to be fun.

When children grow up hearing adults constantly promise that learning activities will be “fun,” they often become skeptical.

Because most of the time... it isn’t really fun.

It’s just less boring than the worksheet that was originally planned .

Unschooling works differently.

In unschooling homes, we don’t have to sell learning to our kids.

Kids don’t need to be manipulated into curiosity.

They’re curious on their own. Or they’re not—and that’s information too.

Sometimes kids can’t yet picture what’s out there in the world. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean they lack imagination.

Often it simply means we haven’t expanded their world enough yet .

And sometimes—if we’re honest—we’re trying to steer them toward something that checks our boxes, not theirs.

Kids can feel that kind of manipulation.

Sometimes Pi Day becomes less about curiosity and more about adults trying to make sure a math concept got covered.

So instead of announcing:

"Pi Day is coming and I have something really fun planned!"

it might be better to simply explore a few things yourself and see if anything sparks curiosity.

When Pi Day Flops

One year in my coaching group, one of the dads shared a story.

He told his 12-year-old son that he had found a bunch of cool things to show him about Pi Day.

The kid listened politely and then said:

“Okay, Dad. Thanks. Can I go now?”

And honestly?

That might happen at your house too.

That doesn’t mean Pi Day failed.

It just means kids are honest about what actually interests them.

Unschooling kids, especially, tend to have a pretty strong radar for things that feel authentic—and things that feel a little forced.

A Simple Way to Show What Pi Is

If curiosity does appear, here’s a quick way to demonstrate Pi.

Ask your child to measure the diameter of something round:

• a pizza
• a cookie
• the top of a soda can

Multiply that number by 3.14 .

Then wrap a string around the outside edge and measure it.

The number will match your calculation.

That’s the circumference.

And the relationship between those measurements is always the same.

Whether you’re measuring a penny or the top of a giant barrel, the ratio is constant.

That’s Pi.

A Quick Word About Math Anxiety

Many adults carry a lot of math anxiety from their own school experiences.

So when math shows up—even something simple like Pi—people sometimes mentally check out.

Even reading about Pi can make some people’s brains quietly wander off.

That reaction is worth noticing.

Because once you recognize it, you’re less likely to pass that anxiety on to your kids.

This doesn’t mean pulling out math workbooks or trying to recreate school at home.

But maybe you bake a pie.
Send a meme.
Try a little circle experiment.

Sometimes it’s enough to simply let a little math wash through everyday life.

Pies, Memes, and Little Experiments

Pi Day can be a good excuse for simple things like:

• baking pies (dessert pies or mini pies)
• pizza pie, frito pie, meat pies
• oatmeal pies or moon pies
• sending math memes to your kids

Some families even do a Pie Taste Test at exactly 3:14 in the afternoon . (I love that idea! ��)

More playful ideas here �� Unschooling & Pi Day Hub

That page includes:

• Pi Day activity ideas
• memes and jokes
• little experiments you can try
• book and video suggestions

You can browse through it and see what catches your eye.

___________________________________

Don't Miss This: A Fun Coincidence

March 14 is also Albert Einstein’s birthday , which can lead to some fun side conversations about scientists, inventions, and how discoveries happen.

Or it might not. Either way, it’s an interesting little connection.

Pinterest Board: Unschooling & Pi Day

Pi Day Is Just a Tiny Cultural Moment

If your child doesn’t care much about Pi Day...

that’s okay.

If they don’t go to bed saying,

"Wow Mom, that was the best day ever learning about Pi."

...that’s okay too.

Most of the time Pi Day is simply a small cultural moment.

A tiny seed.

A brief encounter with a math idea.

And that’s enough.

No Pressure Required

If you ever find yourself feeling pressure because other families are posting perfect Pi Day photos online, remember:

You don’t need to make your kids participate.

Pi Day is just an option.

You might enjoy parts of it yourself.
Your kids might join in.
Or they might not.

All of those outcomes are completely normal.

Happy Pi Day—and happy unschooling.

Unschooling Resources

More Fun Ideas - Less Work for Mom!

Quirky Kids: Unschooling and Neurodivergence

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 03:36:16 GMT

Why Neurodivergent Kids Thrive Outside School

Is Your Child a little... Quirky?

That’s a word I used sometimes back in the 90s and early 2000s. Back then, we didn’t have the same language we use now.

Maybe a child didn’t pick up on social cues easily.

Maybe eye contact was hard.

Maybe they melted down when they started losing a board game.

At the time, we might have just said they were quirky.

Before Neurodivergence Was Common Language

This was before diagnoses like Asperger’s were widely used. The term neurodivergent wasn’t part of everyday conversation yet. And while special needs certainly existed, it wasn’t talked about the way it is today.

What we did start to see, though, was the beginning of the big wave of ADHD diagnoses an d medications like Ritalin.

But here’s why I’m bringing this up.

We’ve come a long way in what we understand about brains, about kids, and about parenting children with different learning styles and coping strategies.

And maybe even more importantly, we now have access to so many more resources.

Whether your child has an official diagnosis or not, parents today can tap into the experience of people who have been studying this for years.

For example, many parents in the unschooling community have been learning from people like Amanda Diekman and Naomi Fisher . Their work focuses on understanding kids in ways that move away from constant demands and toward connection and collaboration.

And that fits very naturally with the unschooling approach.

Because as unschoolers, the goal is to meet our kids where they are.

Why Parents Sometimes Feel Unprepared

The tricky part is that sometimes we genuinely don’t know what to do.

And part of that is because of how many of us grew up.

Some of us had our own little “quirky” traits growing up. Maybe adults called us difficult. Maybe they said we were rebellious. Maybe we were “a handful.”

Or maybe you were the opposite.

Maybe you were the quiet, compliant kid who worked really hard to keep the adults around you happy. And maybe you carried a lot of anxiety because you weren’t always sure how to meet those expectations.

So now we become parents.

And many of us didn’t grow up seeing a lot of kindness or understanding when kids struggled. When things got tense, we didn’t always see adults modeling calm, informed ways to handle those moments.

Back in the 90s, honestly, we just didn’t know as much.

But we do now.

And that’s important.

Because whether your child has a neurodivergent diagnosis or not — and whether you do or not — there is so much we can learn from the parents and professionals who have spent years studying these patterns.

Why Unschooling Often Works for Neurodivergent Kids

Interestingly, the unschooling world overlaps with this in a really meaningful way.

Many families come to unschooling because their child struggled in school.

Sometimes there’s a diagnosis involved. Sometimes there isn’t. But parents can see that the school environment simply isn’t working for their child.

And here’s something many families discover.

When you remove the constant pressure of school — the schedules, the expectations, the comparisons — things often improve dramatically.

Kids can relax.

Parents can start focusing on connection.

Instead of constantly noticing where a child is falling short, families can start noticing strengths.

They can build on interests.

They can develop coping strategies that actually fit the child instead of forcing the child to fit the system.

And that’s one of the reasons unschooling often works so well for neurodivergent kids.

Research and Resources Are Expanding

Another important shift has happened over time.

Not only has science learned more about how brains work and how neurodivergence shows up in daily life…

But the homeschooling movement itself has grown.

Which means the conversation isn’t always focused on helping kids survive in school.

There are now professionals studying kids outside of traditional school settings — which makes their insights incredibly helpful for families who are unschooling.

In my membership community last year, we actually spent some time discussing a few books that many parents found really helpful.

One is Declarative Language Handbook by Linda Murphy.

Another is Low Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman.

And another is A Different Wayto Learn by Naomi Fisher. ( more books here )

Each of these approaches offers tools for understanding kids who may struggle with traditional expectations — and they do it in ways that align really well with an unschooling mindset.

Leaving School Can Change Everything

A lot of families leave the school system because things just aren’t working for their child.

But there’s often a lot of fear around that decision.

Parents worry that leaving school will somehow make things worse.

But very often, bringing a child home actually opens the door to something better.

When you can step away from constant evaluation and comparison, you can focus on connection.

You can focus on understanding what your child needs.

You can begin to identify strengths that might have been hidden in the school environment.

Life can start to feel very different.

Learning More at the Unschooling Summit

And that brings me to why I’m talking about this right now.

The Unschooling Summit is happening this month.

There are many speakers there who focus specifically on neurodivergence in unschooling families.

The event is free , and I’ve included a link in the show notes.

If you sign up using that link, it also helps support Unschooling Mom2Mom, which I really appreciate.

I’ll be speaking on the second day about the Role of the Unschooling Parent — especially what happens when unschooling doesn’t go the way you expected.

Because that happens sometimes.

And learning how to navigate those moments is part of the journey.

There will be over 60 speakers at the summit, and quite a few of them will be talking about challenges that come up in neurodivergent families.

There will also be roundtables and fireside chats where you can actually ask your own questions.

I’m really looking forward to hearing from some of these speakers myself.

Speaking at the Unschooling Summit - specifically about unschooling & neurodivergence

Dr Naomi Fisher - When to Encourage Your Unschooler, and When To Hold Back (ND / PDA)

Kristy Forbes - Why Compliance Isn't the Goal With Your Neurodivergent Child (AuDHD / PDA)

Em Hammond (NeuroWild) - Helping Children Build Their Capacity (AuDHD / PDA)

Amanda Diekman - Letting Go of Perfectionism (AuDHD / PDA)

Eliza Fricker - Self Directed Learning and Your PDAer (AuDHD / PDA)

Melissa Crockett-Joyoue - Building Nervous System Capacity for Unschooling Parents (AuDHD / PDA)

Meghan Suniga Davies - Out in the World with Neurodivergent Teens (ND)

Fireside Chat - (Deep dive) This isn't How I thought it Would Be! ( Heidi Steel, Danii Oliver & Anna Brown - (ND families)

Live Roundtable - Neurodivergent Families (panel TBC but includes Amanda Diekman (PDA), Elspeth Hetrick (known as Neurodivergent Parenting: Think Outside the Box on FB) (PDA) Zakiyya Ismail ) (Rest of panel TBC)

Live Roundtable - Taking Care of Ourselves - Claire Gillespie & Stacey Yates Sellar (both w/ND kids), Essie Richards (ND)

Listen to Melissa Crockett-Joyoue

And speaking of that...

I have a short clip coming up from Melissa, one of the co-founders of the Unschooling Summit. She’s an unschooling mom herself and part of a neurodivergent family.

But before we play that clip, I'd like to mention that next week, we're celebrating five years of the podcast!

Melissa is one of our first guest voices to appear on the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast!

It’s a quick clip, but it might be something we do more of in the future — bringing in other voices occasionally so you can hear from different experiences in the unschooling community.

Let me know what you think about that.

Let’s listen to her now...

The Bottom Line for Parents

The bottom line is this.

All of us have kids who struggle sometimes.

All of us run into moments that are confusing or challenging.

So why not learn from parents and professionals who have spent years thinking about these situations — especially those who understand them within an unschooling framework?

You can join me at the Unschooling Summit .

I’ll actually be participating in two places — my talk on the role of the unschooling parent, and a final panel discussion about grown unschoolers.

Again, the tickets are free, here's the link.

Want More Unschooling Encouragement?

If these episodes help calm your nerves a little about unschooling, be sure you follow and subscribe so new episodes will keep showing up in your feed.

And if you’d like daily encouragement while you figure this out , you can try the Creating Confidence Daily app free for seven days — that link is in the show notes too.

Thanks for listening.

Happy unschooling.

Frequently Asked Questions
About Neurodivergent Kids and Unschooling

What does neurodivergent mean?

Neurodivergent describes people whose brains work differently from what society considers “typical.” This can include ADHD, autism, dyslexia, PDA, sensory differences, and other variations in how people process information and interact with the world.

Why do some neurodivergent kids struggle in school?

Traditional schools often rely on rigid schedules, social expectations, and constant evaluation. For some neurodivergent kids, those demands can create stress, frustration, and a sense that they are always falling short.

Can unschooling work well for neurodivergent kids?

Many families find that unschooling works well because it removes constant pressure and allows learning to develop around the child’s interests, strengths, and natural pace.

What resources help parents understand neurodivergent kids?

Facebook Group: Unschooling Every Family: Embracing Neurodivergent and Disabled Learners
Blogpost/Podcast: Unschooling Neurodivergent Children
Online Publication: Unschooling and Thriving

Do kids need a diagnosis to benefit from this approach?

No. Many families notice that certain strategies work well for their child even without a formal diagnosis. Understanding how your child thinks, learns, and copes can be helpful regardless of labels.

10 Weird Facts About Daylight Saving Time: A Real-Life Learning Opportunity

Sat, 07 Mar 2026 08:01:00 GMT

Spring forward, Fall back - But WHY?

Quick Answer for the Kids:

The Earth’s tilt changes how much daylight we get during the year.
Daylight Saving Time just moves the clock so we use more daylight in the evening.

Daylight Saving Time = Real-life Learning Moment!

One small event → math, science, history, writing, creativity, and technology.

No curriculum required.

M oments like the clock change show how learning naturally overlaps subjects.

Y ou don’t need a lesson plan or curriculum to explore it
— just curiosity and a few good questions.

Subjects Weave In Here?

Yes! They do!

Math

Daylight Saving Time naturally introduces elapsed time and time changes.

Language Arts

Kids can read explanations of Daylight Saving Time and learn new vocabulary like: time zones, daylight, rotation, circadian rhythm.

Science

DST connects to Earth’s rotation and daylight cycles.
SciShow Kids: Why Do We Change the Clocks?

Social Studies

The history of Daylight Saving Time is a fascinating look at how governments make decisions. Which states and countries participate in this - and which don't! Why?
Why Do We Have Daylight Saving Time? | COLOSSAL QUESTIONS

Technology

Technology helps us track and understand time changes. Use weather apps to compare sunrise and sunset times.
Learn more about how digital devices automatically adjust the clock.
Check out global time zones using online maps

�� Daylight Saving Time 101 | National Geographic (Bigger Kids)

FUN FACTS

1. Not Everyone Changes Their Clocks

Hawaii and most of Arizona stay on the same time all year. They stay on standard time all year. The Navajo Nation inside Arizona does observe Daylight Saving Time, which means some nearby towns actually have different times depending on where you are.

Why?
These regions get plenty of sunlight already, so shifting the clock doesn’t provide much benefit.

2. A Bug Collector Suggested It - or was it a Golfer?

George Hudson (1895): Proposed a two-hour shift in New Zealand to maximize evening sunlight for collecting insects.

William Willett (1907): Published "The Waste of Daylight," advocating for advancing clocks in the spring to increase daylight hours. His proposal was motivated by wanting to spend more time outdoors, such as playing golf.

3. Farmers Didn’t Want It (That's a Myth!)

Farm animals follow the sun, not the clock. This change was not for farmers.

4. Time Chaos Once Happened

Before the Uniform Time Act of 1966 , U.S. states and cities could decide on their own whether to observe Daylight Saving Time and when to start or stop it.

This created confusion.
In some places, a short bus trip could involve changing the clock several times.
Trains Forced the U.S. to Create Time Zones

Before railroads, every town set its own time based on the sun.

Trains made this confusing, so time zones were created in 1883 .

In 1965, traveling 35 miles between Steubenville, Ohio, and Moundsville, West Virginia required changing the clock seven times because different towns used different rules. The 1966 law standardized when clocks would change.

5. War Popularized It

Daylight Saving Time became widely used during World War I and later World War II .

Governments hoped shifting daylight hours would reduce energy use, especially for lighting and fuel. During World War II, the United States even used year-round Daylight Saving Time, called “War Time.”

6. People Sleep Less

People often lose about 40 minutes of sleep after the spring change.For a few days afterward, there may also be increases in fatigue and difficulty concentrating.

It usually takes several days for people’s sleep schedules to adjust.

7. It’s Not “Savings”

The official name is Daylight Saving Time, not “Savings.” The idea is that we are saving daylight by moving an hour of sunlight from the early morning to the evening.

8. Some Places Shift by 30 Minutes

Several countries around the world use unusual time offsets like UTC +5:30 or UTC +9:30 , showing that timekeeping isn’t always based on whole hours.

Lord Howe Island (Australia) changes clocks by only 30 minutes.

9. The Goal: More Evening Light

The purpose of Daylight Saving Time is to shift daylight into the evening hours , when people are more likely to be awake and active.

For example, instead of the sun rising at 5:00 AM and setting at 7:00 PM, the clock change makes it rise at 6:00 AM and set at 8:00 PM.

This gives people more daylight after work.

10. People Still Debate It

Daylight Saving Time is still controversial.

Some people want to:

Keep it all year for longer evening daylight
Eliminate it entirely and stay on standard time

Several governments are currently debating these options, and laws occasionally change as countries reconsider the practice.

Here for the Memes?

Homeschooling Doubt vs. Unschooling Confidence: Why Reinforcement Matters

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 16:04:24 GMT

Those voices in your head? Let me elbow in.

If you’re an unschooling or homeschooling parent struggling with doubt, internal criticism, or wondering if you’re doing enough, this post will help you understand why those fears resurface — and how daily reinforcement builds lasting confidence.

In This Post:

Why unschooling doubts don’t disappear after you leave school
How school-conditioned thinking resurfaces under stress
Why confidence grows through rhythm, not intensity
What daily reinforcement actually looks like
How to quiet harsh internal critics without pretending they don’t exist

The Voices in Your Head Didn’t Start With Unschooling

Is it normal to feel like you’re not doing enough when homeschooling?

They always said you were lazy. ��
Maybe not out loud.
Maybe not directly.
But you heard it.

“You should try harder.”
“You’re not applying yourself.”
“You’re capable of more.”
“If you’d just focus.”

You learned early that rest was suspicious.
That easy meant you weren’t serious.
That productivity was proof of worth.

And now...you choose unschooling.

And suddenly that old word creeps back in.

Lazy.

When your kids lay around on the couch.
When learning looks relaxed.
When a day unfolds without visible output.

That voice doesn’t whisper.

It says:

“You’re ruining them.”
“This is irresponsible.”
Other families are doing more.”
“You’re setting them up to fail.”

And sometimes the harshest version says:

“You’re just calling this unschooling because you don’t want to do the hard work.”

That doesn’t mean unschooling isn’t working.

It means those old scripts are still alive.

Old teachers.
Old report cards.
Relatives.
Neighbors.
School culture.
Disgruntled bloggers.

And sometimes it feels crowded in your head.

And if that sounds familiar...
you’re in the right place.

Why Unschooling Doubts Resurface

Why do unschooling doubts keep coming back?

If you’re new here, I’m Sue Patterson , and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

For almost 30 years, I’ve been walking alongside families choosing something different — helping parents untangle school-shaped thinking and build real confidence in how their kids learn.

Each week, I share short pep talks and perspective shifts to help you keep unschooling ideas in the front of your mind — especially when real life tries to push them to the back.

Now let’s talk about why those voices don’t disappear just because you left school.

When you first step away from school, you’re intentional.
...You listen to podcasts.
...You read books.
...You think deeply.
...You feel clear.

There’s almost a sense of relief.
Like you’ve stepped into color after living in black and white.

But then real life resumes.

Dinner.
Work.
Sports practice.
Moodiness — theirs and yours.
Technology.
Laundry.
Bills.
Comparison.

And slowly — not dramatically — unschooling philosophy slides to the back of your awareness.

Not because you stopped believing it.

Because you stopped reinforcing it. You weren’t as intentional about it.

We’ve all been taught to check the box and move on. Forward motion is what matters, right? ��

And while all that is happening, those old scripts are still there. They don’t need refreshing.

They’ve been running in the background for a long time. They’re automatic now.

So when you’re tired...

which voice is going to feel stronger?

The one that’s been rehearsed the longest.

That’s not weakness.

That’s conditioning.

And it explains something really important:

Confidence doesn’t grow from intensity or bursts.
It grows from rhythm.

The Golf Analogy: Why Repetition Matters

How do you build confidence in unschooling?

It’s like that golf pro we’ve all heard about.

They don’t just show up on tournament day and hope their swing works.

They practice it.
Over and over.
They visualize it.
They move the muscles.
They rehearse the motion so many times that it becomes second nature.

They don’t analyze their swing mid-shot.

Their body already knows what to do.

That’s what creating your own unschooling workout — your own unschooling immersion — would do for you.

You come back to the ideas, rehearsing them.

Letting them move through your thinking often enough that when doubt shows up...

you don’t spiral.

Something steadier answers back.

Not because you forced it or faked it.

But because you’ve come back to the ideas often enough that they feel natural.

And that’s really what I’m talking about.

We’re not going to go into this with blind optimism or pretending these critics haven’t taken up permanent residence in your brain.

We’re going to add in a new kind of repetition.

Real Life Is Loud — Add Another Voice

Because real life is loud and distracting.

And if you don’t keep returning to something steadier, those old scripts naturally move forward again.

They’re not going to wait their turn.

They’ll just start talking.

Questioning you and predicting disasters.

Sometimes they’re really harsh.

Sometimes they sound like your own voice, but so much sharper than you’d ever speak to someone else.

We can’t erase those voices. But we don’t have to let them dominate the conversation.

And we can add another voice into the mix — mine.

A voice with experience. With confidence.

Elbowing my way in.

And sometimes...taking the bullhorn away from the meaner ones.��

Not by fighting them.

Just by being there often enough that when doubt starts to speak...

something steadier speaks too.

That’s the difference.

Sometimes it simply means reminding you of something you already know but forgot in the rush of the day.

That’s the point.

We won’t eliminate doubt, but we’ll make sure it’s not the loudest or only voice in there speaking to you.

What Daily Reinforcement Looks Like

You could go back and listen to one podcast a day.

Next month marks five years of these 10–15 minute pep talks.

There’s a lot there.

Create a New Habit

You could press play while unloading the dishwasher.
While waiting in the car.
While walking the dog.

Pair it with something you already do and let it become part of your rhythm.

That works.

But I also know this:

When you’re busy, you don’t always remember to press play.

And sometimes you’re too mentally full to go searching for reassurance.

That’s why I created Creating Confidence Daily.

Not because you need more information.

Because you need reinforcement.

Three or four minu tes.
Right where you are.
Sometimes it’s audio from me.
Sometimes it’s an affirmation card.
Sometimes it’s a small shift in perspective.
Sometimes it’s something practical to notice with your kids that day.

It’s small on purp ose.

Because this isn’t about overwhelming you.

It’s about making sure something steadier shows up before the old script does.

Successful unschooling families do two things over time.

Parents keep working on their own assumptions and fears.
And kids learn how to live inside real freedom.

That requires knowledge.

And support.

Not once.

Ongoing.

You can try Creating Confidence Daily free for a week.

After that, it’s $9 a month — and less if you stay longer.

Super simple.

It’s there so you don’t have to keep doing this alone in your own head.

You don’t have to silence the critical voices.

You just don’t have to let them be the only ones.

I’ll be in there too, walking right alongside you. Start with the free week — it will help you.

I’ll leave the link — and I’ll be back here next week.

"I need more help with this!"

You're not alone! It's hard to do all by yourself. It helps to be around others who are doing the same thing.

Test the waters! 7 day Free Trial.
Encouraging voice notes, tips, and inspiration to help keep you moving in the unschooling direction.

Tired of figuring this out alone?
Sue and her private community of unschooling parents can help you feel more confident and less isolated!

Frequently Asked Questions
About Unschooling Doubt

Why do unschooling doubts keep coming back?

Unschooling doubts resurface because most parents were conditioned by years of traditional schooling. Even after leaving school structures, beliefs about productivity, timelines, and “doing enough” can reappear during stressful
seasons or new developmental stages.

Is it normal to question unschooling?

Yes. Doubt does not mean unschooling isn’t working. It often means old school-conditioned thinking is resurfacing. Confidence in unschooling is built through repeated reinforcement, not a one-time decision.

How do I stop feeling like I’m not doing enough?

Instead of trying to eliminate doubt, focus on daily reinforcement. Listening to supportive perspectives regularly helps reshape how you interpret learning, progress, and freedom in your home.

What is daily reinforcement in unschooling?

Daily reinforcement means intentionally revisiting unschooling principles through podcasts, reflection, or short daily prompts so confident thinking becomes more automatic than fear-based reactions.

The Real Reason Your Unschooling Confidence Disappears (And How to Strengthen It)

Sat, 14 Feb 2026 21:42:56 GMT

Feeling steady one day, and panicking the next?

Why does unschooling confidence fade — even when nothing new is really happening?
Many parents experience cycles of second-guessing, fear about learning gaps, and pressure from outside voices.
This isn’t a lack of commitment or belief. It’s about how confidence actually grows — and why it needs regular reinforcement.
That's what we're talking about on today's podcast:
Why unschooling confidence disappears and how to build it so it will actually last.

You Can Feel Confident… And Then Spiral

You can feel completely confident one week...and then spiral the next.

Heck, that can happen in one day.

You listen to a podcast.
You read a thoughtful Facebook comment.
You’re feeling pretty good.

Then you look at the clock and...your kid is still asleep.

Or your sister’s child just created something impressive for the science fair.

Or your dad worries — out loud — that they won’t be able to hold a job if they “keep this up.”

Real life, right?

And because that confidence from the morning was fragile, it vanishes.

A Quick Sidebar (About My Peace Lily)

I brought all my plants in for the winter. I have this Peace Lily. It puts out beautiful white flowers.

But if I let it go too long without water, it wilts dramatically. Like it’s never coming back.

I panic a little. I grab the watering can.

By evening, it’s upright again.

We don’t question whether plants need water regularly.

But we expect confidence to survive without us doing much.

And then we’re surprised when it wilts.

Confidence works more like my Peace Lily than we want to admit.

One Good Breakthrough Isn’t Enough

We think one good podcast episode should fix us.

Or one strong coaching call.

Or one really clear conversation with someone who “gets it.”

And those do help.

We walk away thinking:

“Okay. I’ve got this now.”

Then... a little later — we’re spiraling again.

And it’s confusing, because nothing new really happened.

But confidence doesn’t grow without being deliberate.

It grows from rhythm and repetition.

You can have a powerful breakthrough moment.
You can feel completely aligned.
You can understand unschooling at a deep, philosophical level.

And still doubt yourself tomorrow.

Understanding something once doesn’t build the muscle.

If Information Were Enough…

I have over 200 podcast episodes .
Hundreds of blog posts.
Thousands of Facebook threads where I’ve answered questions.

If information were enough...

There wouldn’t be so much second-guessing.

I wouldn’t keep getting emails that say:

“I know this...but I’m still worried.”

The problem isn’t that you need more information.

Half the time, I’m just reminding you of what you already know.

It just doesn’t stay in the front of your mind very long.

Life crowds it out.

But when you bring it back — intentionally, regularly — the panic doesn’t get as much airtime.

And over time, that’s what strengthens your confidence.

Why This Is Harder Than It Sounds

A lot of us who are drawn to unschooling don’t naturally think in routines.

We think in energy.
In seasons.
In interests.

Those are strengths.

But confidence building doesn’t really grow on autopilot.

If you wait until you feel anxious before strengthening your thinking, you’re always playing catch-up.

I learned that the slow way.

My own confidence took a long time to grow — not because I didn’t believe in unschooling — but because I wasn’t deliberate about strengthening it.

I did better when I had another mom beside me.

Not someone perfect.
Sometimes they had older kids.
But someone who understood unschooling well enough to brainstorm with me.

Those conversations kept unschooling ideas in the front of my mind.

They helped me question the mainstream instead of absorbing it on a tired day.

Because on a tired day, you drift.

Back to the familiar. ��‍♀️

We all do it.

What Strengthening Confidence Actually Looks Like

Not hours.

Not a research paper.

Not an all-nighter.

Ten minutes.
Maybe fifteen.

Pair it with something you already do:

☕️ Your morning coffee.
�� Emptying the dishwasher.
�� Sitting quietly while the kids bounce on the trampoline.

Looking at unschooling philosophy sounds lofty.

It isn’t.

It’s just bringing the right framework back to the front of your mind — on purpose.

The Unschooling Mom2Mom website is full of places you can do that:

✓ The blog.
✓ The podcast.
✓ The YouTube channel.

It’s all there.

But none of it helps if you don’t build a small, deliberate rhythm around it.

Binging works for Netflix.

It doesn’t work for overcoming doubt.

The Real Work Is Your Confidence

As I’m wrapping up five seasons of podcasting...
Hundreds of blog posts...
Ten years of Facebook conversations...

I’ve learned something important.

Sure, I can give you Valentine’s ideas.
Field trips.
Creative approaches to math or learning to read .

Those things matter.

But they’re not the core issue.

The real work is your confidence.

Because when your confidence is steady, you’ll start seeing those ideas yourself.

If You Need Structure Around That Rhythm

If what I’m describing sounds good in theory...
But you know carving out those ten minutes consistently is harder than it sounds...

I’ve been thinking about that too.

So I built something simple.

Not another course.
Not another big commitment.

Just me, walking with you.
A little every day.
Small resets.
Steady rhythm.

It adds up.

Creating Confidence Daily opens February 22, 2026.

If you’re already in the membership, you’ll have access automatically.

Everyone else can join for $9/month.

If you have a friend who could use steady support, you could even do it together.

You can learn more here:
https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/creating-confidence-daily

A nd if you’re not joining anything right now?

Start with ten minutes tomorrow.

You just did your ten minutes today.

That counts.

You can do this.

Happy unschooling.

Unschooling the Olympics: No Curriculum Needed

Thu, 05 Feb 2026 19:15:57 GMT

In this post, you’ll explore:

Why subjects don’t live in school — they weave through real life
How movies make learning visible without formal teaching
Real examples of math, history, science, and language arts in stories
Why pressure and labeling often block learning
A practical unschooling lens for watching movies

Podcast Transcript

Strewing the Winter Olympics!

Every time something big like the Olympics comes around, I start seeing the same question pop up:

“Should I do a unit study?”

“What curriculum covers this?”

“How do I make sure they actually learn something.”

And I want to gently interrupt that spiral.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking,

“I should probably be doing more with this,”

or
“This feels like an opportunity I shouldn’t waste,”

That’s just old school thinking kicking in — the idea that if learning isn’t planned, measured, or captured somehow, it doesn’t count.

Because the Olympics are already rich with learning — without you organizing, packaging, or teaching it.

You Don’t Need to Turn This Into a Lesson

You don’t need a unit study for the kids to learn from the Winter Olympics.

You don’t have to turn it into a lesson.

You don’t have to worry that they “might miss something.”

This is one of those moments where strewing works beautifully — if you let it.

You know that word, right? Strewing is the casual dropping of information - available for the learner if they’re interested. It’s all about exposure - and choice. I have a few more podcasts and even a Guide describing strewing, if you’d like to dive into that.

Here’s what strewing doesn’t look like.

It doesn’t look like announcing,

“Okay everyone, we’re learning geography now.”

It looks like something catching your eye — and you saying it out loud.

“Oh wow, that athlete is 17. I didn’t expect that.”

That’s it.

You didn’t assign a follow-up.

You didn’t turn it into a lesson.

You just let curiosity breathe.

Hello!

But before we talk about these Winter Olympics and how you can create a stress-free learning environment, I want to welcome you to the podcast!

I’m Sue Patterson, the voice behind all things Unschooling Mom2Mom - including this podcast. My unschooled kids are all in their 30s now, and I’ve ccircled back to share what I’ve seen work and not work in our unschooling community.

I have a variety of resources at the website - including a membership if you’re like a little more community and support from me. I’ll add links for all that.

So let’s talk about Strewing the Olympics - what would that LOOK like?

What Strewing the Olympics Can Actually Look Like

Before we talk specifics, I want to say this clearly:

You do not need to do all of these.

Strewing isn’t a menu you’re supposed to order from.

It’s more like leaving the door open and seeing what wanders through.

So...

Turn on the TV and talk about what you’re seeing.
Not narrating. Not explaining. Just noticing out loud.
Look at the schedule of televised events and see which sports intrigue your child.
Mention the strange viewing times and casually talk about time zones.
Pull out a globe and look at why time zone changes even exist.
Notice the countries during the opening ceremonies or events and look them up together — or just enjoy the production.

Watching these opening and closing ceremonies are usually a spectacle all on their own. Different countries put their own spin on them.

Talk about Milan as the host city.

Culture. Architecture. Weather. Food. One comment is plenty.

You might notice your child lighting up running through the streets with the torch.

Or the uniforms.

Or how quiet the crowd gets before a run - that feeling that everyone is holding their breath for a minute

None of that needs to turn into a subject.

Those moments already are learning.

No worksheet required.

Resist the Checklist Urge

This part matters.

Resist the urge to create a checklist and just immerse yourself in the moment.

Remind yourself:

Learning belongs to the learner.

When we rush to document learning, we interrupt it.

We turn something alive into something performative — and kids feel that shift immediately.

Staying present tells them, “You don’t have to prove anything right now.”

Your job isn’t to extract outcomes — it’s to stay engaged enough to notice what’s landing and what isn’t.

That’s the data.

Following Interest Without Forcing It

If they’re into it:

Look something up.

Toss a random fact into the conversation.

Then let it go.

If interest fades:

Take a break.

Say, “Let’s come back when the the Curling event or the Downhill racing starts.”

Or maybe they’re not coming back at all.

Both are valid.

Sometimes learning from the Olympics shows up weeks later.

...A comment about weather.

...A question about countries.

...A random reference to bobsleds during dinner.

Learning doesn’t follow broadcast schedules — of course it doesn’t! That would only be in school.

You’re Strewing for Yourself Too

Read a little about historic Olympics.

One story. One moment. One strange fact.

You don’t read or watch everything — you’re not writing a research paper.

You’re strewing for yourself, too.

What you find interesting often models curiosity better than anything else.

So what do you do When Kids Seem “Not Interested”

Sometimes kids say they’re not interested because something like this has been turned into a lesson before — and they’re guarding themselves.
Sometimes they don’t know enough yet to feel safe committing interest.
Sometimes they just… aren’t into it.

It’s all information that tells you something about how your child approaches new things — cautiously, selectively, checking to see if there are any strings attached.

Leaving the Olympics on casually — in the background — gives them room to circle back on their own terms.

They might stop for the race.

You might care more about the athlete stories.

That’s okay.

About Big Events Like This

Big cultural moments don’t need to be captured or completed.

They’re meant to be lived alongside.

When learning feels like part of life — and not an assignment — it sticks in ways no curriculum ever could.

So if you feel that familiar pressure rising — the urge to do something —

Remind yourself:

Life is already offering the lesson.

You don’t need to wrap it. ��

So, enjoy the olympics.

Save the curriculum money and use it on...great snacks! That’s always a plus!

Happy Unschooling!

~Sue

Deschooling Isn’t Something You Finish

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 05:36:10 GMT

Deschooling isn’t something parents finish once. As kids grow, new stages often bring old school-based fears back. That doesn’t mean something is wrong—it means it’s time to revisit deschooling with fresh eyes.

Do You Need to Revisit Deschooling?

Signs It’s Time Again

Deschooling is often treated like a phase you move through at the beginning of unschooling.

You step away from school structures.
You rethink learning.
You loosen schedules and expectations.

And then you’re supposed to be done.

But most families don’t experience it that way.

Deschooling isn’t a one-time reset. It’s an ongoing process of noticing how old assumptions resurface as children grow and learning looks different than it did before.

What felt fine when your child was younger can start to feel uncertain at a new age.
That doesn’t mean something went wrong — it usually means you’ve reached a new layer.

Why Deschooling Resurfaces as Kids Get Older

As children grow, learning often becomes:

less visible
more independent
harder to measure
easier to compare

That shift can quietly reactivate old school-based fears, even in families who felt confident before.

New stages bring new questions, especially when learning becomes harder to see.
What seemed fine at 7 can begin to worry you when it still looks the same at 11.

Signs It Might Be Time to Revisit Deschooling

You feel uneasy when learning is harder to see
Grade-level thinking or timelines start creeping back in
You feel pressure to manage or direct learning again
Play, screens, or conversation suddenly feel “not enough”
You worry about gaps even when growth is happening
Independence feels more stressful than before
What worked in earlier years no longer feels steady

These are red flags — just not about your child, or whether unschooling is “working.”
They point to school-based thinking resurfacing for parents.

Deschooling Comes in Layers, Not a Straight Line

Deschooling doesn’t end once you’ve “done it right.”

Each new stage invites you to notice old patterns with fresh eyes.
Each age shift asks for recalibration, not more control.

Revisiting deschooling isn’t starting over. It’s responding to change.

What Helps When It’s Time to Revisit Deschooling

A t this point, most parents don’t need more ideas or strategies.
They need help untangling old thinking and reassurance that this moment is normal.

The Deschooling Toolkit is meant for moments like this — when old school-based thinking resurfaces and you need help slowing down and recalibrating.

It includes three simple resources:

Deschooling for Parents – a reflective guide that helps you notice which worries are coming from school-shaped beliefs, with prompts and reframes to interrupt automatic reactions and revisit your thinking as often as needed.
Deschooling for Parents
365 Days of Deschooling – a kid-focused resource that helps make everyday learning more visible through real-life activities, ideas, and reminders, especially when learning feels quiet or unchanged at a new age.
365 Days of Deschooling - 24Q4
Affirmation Cards – short, grounding reminders to return to when doubt spikes or urgency takes over, offering steady perspective rather than motivation or hype.

Deschooling isn’t “finished” after your first few months of homeschooling or unschooling.
It comes in layers.
As kids grow, familiar fears tend to show up again

— and when they do, it helps to notice them with a quiet “there it is”

and return to deschooling.

FAQ: Revisiting Deschooling as Your Child Gets Older

When is deschooling over?

Deschooling isn’t a one-time phase at the beginning of homeschooling or unschooling. As children grow and learning becomes more independent, old school-based fears can resurface. Many parents revisit deschooling in layers over time.

Why do unschooling doubts come back?

Unschooling doubts often return when learning becomes less visible or harder to measure. As kids get older, parents may start comparing progress to grade levels or worrying about learning gaps, even if growth is happening.

What are signs I need to revisit deschooling?

Common signs include worrying about grade-level expectations, feeling pressure to manage learning again, anxiety about gaps, or discomfort with your child’s independence. These usually point to school conditioning resurfacing — not a problem with your child.

What should I do if I’m worried about learning gaps?

Start by noticing whether the fear is coming from comparison or old school standards. Instead of tightening structure, pause and observe where real-life learning is already happening. Recalibrating your mindset is often more helpful than adding curriculum.

Is it normal to question unschooling as kids get older?

Yes. New developmental stages bring new questions. What felt okay at 7 can feel uncertain at 11 — not because unschooling isn’t working, but because growth looks different at each age.

“I Want to Do More to Teach”… Why That Feels So Confusing

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 22:16:55 GMT

When You Want to Teach More — but Feel Lost

In this post (and podcast/YouTube episode), we talk about:

Why parents feel lost when they stop following the school model
The belief that learning only happens when someone is teaching
Why you don’t actually need to teach or plan for learning to happen
What to focus on instead when days feel unstructured

A question came in that I want to share with you.

An unschooling mom wrote:

“I want to do more to teach, but I feel lost”

If that thought has crossed your mind— you’re not the only one.

A Common Parenting Concern

That feeling usually shows up when you step outside a system that taught us something very specific: that learning only happens because someone is teaching. So when you remove the teacher, the lesson plans, the follow-through, it can feel unsettling — like something important might not happen unless you make it happen.

Unschoolers know that isn’t true. But knowing it and feeling steady inside it aren’t the same thing.

Why Teaching Seems So Confusing

Here’s something that may sound strange at first:
You don’t actually need to teach.
You don’t need to plan lessons.
And you don’t need perfect follow-through.

Many of us are “in-the-moment” people — and that’s not a weakness. It’s often exactly what kids need. They need you to meet them where they are each day and help them live a full, connected life. When you do that, you can see their interests and their situations — and notice what the next step might be — without being pulled off course by expectations about finishing assignments or sticking to plans that no longer fit.

Maybe you go to bed with big plans...and wake up having no idea what they were.
Maybe the day just gets chaotic.
Maybe you’re tired.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing this wrong. It usually means you’re still carrying old ideas about what “teaching” is supposed to look like.

Before we go further, let me introduce myself. I’m Sue Patterson, and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. I record these weekly pep talks to help parents get steadier footing when they’re doing something unconventional — especially when doubts creep in, from other people or from inside your own head.

My own kids are grown now, and I’ve worked with thousands of families over the years. What I’ve seen, again and again, is that learning doesn’t fall apart when you step away from school — but the idea that you’re responsible for making learning happen can be hard to shake.

You Don’t Actually Need to Teach for Learning to Happen

And that’s what’s really at the heart of this week’s question:
“I want to do more, but I feel lost.”

The parent who wrote in specifically said teach more — and that’s an important word to pause on.

Because wanting to “do more” often means you’re still measuring yourself against a school-based idea of teaching. But unschooling asks something different. It asks you to wake up and notice what the day is offering.

Wha t’s the weather like today?
Who seems like they might need a little more connection?
Wh at would make today feel interesting or satisfying?

Set aside school academics for the moment.

What do your kids enjoy?
What do they want to do?
How would they like their days to unfold?

What to Pay Attention to Instead

The learning will happen as they do those things. And just as importantly, they’ll be building confidence in their ability to direct their own lives — noticing what they like, what they don’t, and how to seek out what they need.

If you’re nodding along, you don’t have to invent something new. Think about what’s already happening: stories they love, games they play, music they listen to, art they make, sports they enjoy, shows they watch, conversations you have in the car. These are not side activities. They’re the environment learning grows in.

You don’t have to orchestrate it all.
You don’t have to turn it into lessons.
You just have to notice what’s already there.

If You Want More Support

If it helps to see more examples, I’ve got a few places you can look — totally optional.

Below, you'll find a longer list of everyday activities, just to help you notice what’s already happening. And 365 Days of Deschooling , which is part of the Deschooling Toolkit, has lots of gentle prompts and ideas if you want something to glance at without turning it into a to-do list.

Learning Is Already Happening in Everyday Life

Your Observation Exercise:

1) What do the kids like to do alone?

2) What do they like to do with you, Mom?

3) What do they like to do with other adults in their lives?

4) What skills do you NOTICE they're developing or needing?

Simple, right?

This list can help you get your wheels turning on thinking about the types of things that your days can be filled with.

And if your brain resists, demanding to know when the learning is going to happen, that’s a red flag for more deschooling .
I have a TON of resources on deschooling —an entire deschooling playlist at Youtube.

But if you want one quick PDF you can peruse to see examples of the subjects that show up in typical activities in your daily life, grab the Everything Counts PDF.

You can do this. You’re just working against all those years of conditioning.

School told you there was only one right way.

One right answer.

And one path to get there.

It’s just not true.

Types of Books they love to read
Books they love for you to read aloud
Audio books in case your eyes are tired
Podcasts for kids
Board game favorites
Card/Dice Games
Building Toys
Arts/crafts
Sports (solo or team)
Dress Up/Pretend Play
Music
Theatre/Performance Opportunities
Technology (videos, graphic/web design)
Physical Activty - gyms, playscapes, etc.
Outdoor Activity at home
Technology: Games
Local trips they’d like to make
Local trips you’d like to make with them
Community activities
Activities to plan/do with friends
Science Kits
Netflix/Streaming Favs
YouTube Favs
Favorite Apps

And if you’re in the Creating Confidence membership , I’ll have a simple resource you can use if you want to keep track — or just make things more visible to yourself. I love creating PDFs for things like that, but honestly, you could do the same thing in a basic Google document.

You might jot down the things your kids enjoy doing on their own, the things they like doing with you or other adults, and as you make that list, you may start to notice patterns — interests that keep showing up, or skills they’re naturally wanting to improve. And if not, that’s fine too. You can treat it as a simple observation exercise.

The point isn’t to manage or orchestrate learning — it’s just to help you see it. Because once you start noticing what’s already going on, that feeling of being lost tends to quiet down.

If you came in thinking, I want to do more to teach, but I feel lost, I hope you’re leaving with a slightly different question — not what should I teach? but what’s already happening here?

The clarity will come from noticing what’s already unfolding in your days. That shift alone can change a lot.

If you have a question you’d like me to unpack on a future podcast, let me know . These questions are often shared by more parents than you realize. I’ll talk to you again next week.

Why Deschooling Is Really for Parents

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 13:30:02 GMT

Deschooling is often described as something kids need
— but in reality, it’s parents who feel it most.

When families step away from school or move toward unschooling, the structure may disappear, but school-conditioned thinking often lingers. This post explores what’s really happening during deschooling — especially when learning stops looking familiar.

In this Unschooling Mom2Mom episode about deschooling, we talk about:

Why deschooling isn’t a one-time reset for families
What deschooling looks like when kids seem to be “doing nothing”
Why parents often feel unsettled during the deschooling phase
How school-conditioned thinking affects how parents interpret learning
Why deschooling is active parent work, not passive waiting

Read the Transcript:

A lot of parents think deschooling works like a big red reset button.

You know the kind you see on TV or in ads —

Just step away from school, give it some time, and everything magically resets.

The kids relax.

They self-direct.

They “find themselves.”

And a few weeks later... learning emerges.

And usually, parents think, maybe a month.

If we’re being honest? We're thinking it's going to be less time than that.

But what actually happens is this:

Kids come home.

They rest.

They watch shows.

They scroll.

They hang out on the couch.

And after a couple of weeks, parents start to panic and say:

“OMG... this can’t really be what we’re supposed to be doing, is it?”

“They’re just vegging out.”

“When does the real learning start?”
"My kids are so unmotivated!"

Those sentences tells us everything — and also gets almost everything wrong.

So today, I want to talk about what deschooling actually is…

what’s going on when it looks like nothing is happening…

and why parents need deschooling just as much as kids do.

Hello!!

I’m Sue Patterson ,

and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast .

After 30 years in this community,I've learned what works and what doesn'twork when it comes to unschooling. I have a lot of resources at the website

that can help you build confidence, trust your kids, and see learning everywhere.

Each week, I'm bringing these 10 to 15 minute pep talks to give you a little reassurance.

Unschooling really does work.

So, be sure to take a minute to like or subscribe to the podcast. Whether you're listening or you're watching at YouTube, it'll help us stay connected and you'll know when I have another podcast for you. It's an easy way to help you tackle some of the
worries that are holding you back.

I'm glad you're here. Let's dive in. So,

What’s Wrong With That Panicky Thought

Let’s start with this idea that kids “aren’t learning” during deschooling.

Remember this though:

All brains are always learning.

Even when it looks like vegging out on the couch.

They might be:

watching something on YouTube
following a storyline in a show
reading comments
picking up language, humor, social cues
thinking, processing, recovering

The brain doesn’t turn off because school stopped.

Now — it might not be what we want them to be learning. Maybe it doesn't look familiar or fit neatly into the common subjects for their age if they were in school.

But that’s our issue, not theirs.

Most parents have a very narrow picture of what “successful deschooling” is supposed to look like.

Somewhere deep down, we imagine this moment where our kid stretches, yawns, and says:

“Wow! That was refreshing.
Where’s my algebra book?”

Let me save you some stress.

That is not going to happen.

Kids don’t wake up from deschooling like Rip Van Winkle and reach back for school.

And honestly?
If they did — that would mean deschooling didn’t work .

What Deschooling Is Actually Doing

Here’s the real goal:

You’ll know deschooling is complete when you stop thinking about school at all .

When learning and life just weave together...
and school becomes a distant, fading memory.

But before that happens, school thinking keeps sneaking in.

And that’s why deschooling is not passive .

Another big misconception is that parents are supposed to just step back, wait, and let everything unfold — no involvement, no invitations, no engagement.

That’s not deschooling.

Deschooling asks parents to be actively connected .

That might look like:

baking brownies together and watching the British Baking Show
diving into Stranger Things lore
driving to the skate park
upgrading the internet speed
sharing music, clips, games, ideas

The point isn’t control.
The point is connection .

This is how parents learn to partner with their kids — to understand their interests and help them see that the world is full of things worth exploring.

Unschooling kids don’t live small lives.

They live full, rich, individualized lives .

And deschooling is the bridge from a school-shaped life...
to a life that actually fits your child.

I like to think of it as Dorothy in Kansas — everything black and white —
and then stepping into Oz, where suddenly the world has color.

Why Parents Need Deschooling Too

Deschooling isn’t just for kids.

Parents have to deschool from:

timelines
checklists
comparison
and the idea that learning has to look a certain way to be real

That’s why that lay-around phase feels so uncomfortable.

It’s not because learning isn’t happening.
It’s because school thinking is still loud .

So you’ve stepped away from school — and that feels like the right decision - but the thinking doesn’t automatically change.

We don’t just leave school behind and suddenly see learning differently.

The habits we learned growing up — about pace, productivity, comparison, and conformity — tend to stick around.

They show up in small moments.

... When things feel “too relaxed.”
... When play looks like a break instead of learning.
... When a quiet day feels uncomfortable.
... When you catch yourself wondering if enough is happening.

Not because you don’t trust your kids.
Not because you’re unsure about unschooling.

But because school shaped how all of us learned to interpret learning.

Deschooling is the ongoing process of becoming more aware of the assumptions we inherited — and then choosing which ones still fit your family.

And that process unfolds over time.

Kids grow and change.
And so do we as parents.

You don’t deschool once and move on.
You revisit it.
You adjust.
You notice when old frameworks show up — especially under stress or outside pressure — and you decide how much influence they get.

That’s why I created the Deschooling Toolkit (See details Below)

Reminders...

Deschooling isn’t about doing nothing.

It’s about letting go of the school version of life...
and stepping toward something more flexible, more connected, and more real.

If this is where you find yourself right now, the Deschooling Toolkit was made for you.

You can find it at Unschooling Mom2Mom.

You don’t use everything at once.
You don’t rush through it.

It’s there so you don’t have to keep wondering:
“Is this really how it’s supposed to look?”

Because yes — this phase is part of the process.

The Tool I Made for This Exact Moment

It’s not a reset button.
It’s not a “wait it out” plan.

It’s support for this phase — when school thinking keeps creeping in.

Inside, you’ll find:

365 Days of Deschooling to help families explore learning through real life
A parent guide that helps you recognize school-shaped thoughts when they show up
Deschooling affirmation cards for those moments when doubt gets loud

Deschooling Toolkit - for Kids and Parents!

Calm the Panic. Clear the Fog. Rebuild Trust.

You understand unschooling.

But some days, it still feels like:

“This looks like too much downtime.”
“We should be doing more.”
“What if we’re missing something important?”

That tension isn’t a sign you’re doing unschooling wrong.

It’s a sign that school thinking hasn’t fully loosened its grip yet .

Deschooling is the part most families don’t realize they need — and it’s often the reason everything feels harder than it should. This toolkit is here to help you slow down, reset, and breathe again .

What This Toolkit Is (and Isn’t)

This is not :

a curriculum
a challenge
a schedule
a “do this every day” program

It’s a gentle reset — something you open when school-conditioned thoughts get loud.

You don’t work through it in order.
You use what you need, when you need it.

What’s Inside the Deschooling Toolkit?

�� 365 Days of Deschooling (Kids)

A full year of simple reminders that learning is already happening.

This helps:

take pressure off your kids
quiet fear about “not enough”
shift your focus from performance to real life

You’ll start noticing learning where school taught you not to look.

�� Deschooling for Parents: Guided Reflections

Short, focused pages designed to interrupt common school-conditioned reactions like:

productivity panic
fear of falling behind
comparison
urgency to “fix” things

Each page helps you pause, reframe, and notice what’s actually happening — without judgment.

This is the deschooling guidance you really need!

�� 30 Days of Deschooling Affirmation Cards

Gentle daily reminders to steady your nervous system and rebuild trust.

These aren’t generic affirmations.
They’re grounding statements for real days with the kids — the messy, quiet, uncertain ones.

Use one a day, or pull one when you feel stuck.
There’s nothing to “keep up with.”

How to Use This Toolkit

There’s no right order.

Open the page that feels loud.
Pull a card when your thoughts spiral.
Notice what shifts when you start to remove the pressure.

Deschooling isn’t something you finish.
It’s something you return to.

Who This Is For

This toolkit is for you if:

You get unschooling — but still feel anxious or unsure
You keep snapping back to school-based worries
You want to understand why you keep second-guessing yourself.
You’re looking for calm solutions that makes sense.

Who This Is NOT For

This toolkitwon’t teach you what unschooling is .

�� If you’re brand new and want an overview of how unschooling works,
Unschooling 101 is the best place to start.

This toolkit is about unlearning what's holding us back.

One gentle place to land when school thinking creeps back in.

When School-at-Home Stops Working

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 20:38:44 GMT

If traditional homeschooling or school-at-home isn’t working the way you expected, you’re not alone. Many families reach a point where homeschooling feels harder, more tense, or less effective than it once did.

This post explores why traditional homeschooling sometimes stops working, the signs parents notice first, and why unschooling often enters the conversation at this stage. You’ll also learn what unschooling actually looks like in real life and how to explore alternatives to homeschooling without rushing or overhauling everything at once.

What This Post Covers:

Signs traditional homeschooling isn’t working anymore
Why recreating school at home often leads to frustration
Common curriculum-based homeschooling challenges
Why unschooling becomes appealing at this stage
What unschooling actually looks like day to day
Practical next steps for families exploring unschooling

Coming later this week

Podcast #198 transcript:

If you’ve been homeschooling for a while — especially in a more traditional way — there’s often a moment when you realize:
This isn’t going the way I thought it would.

Not because everything is terrible.
Not because your kids are failing.
But because something just... isn’t lining up.

January is often when that realization hits. You’ve had enough time to see how things actually play out day to day, and you start quietly asking yourself:

Is this really working for us?

And that’s usually when unschooling enters the conversation — sometimes as a curiosity, sometimes as a last resort — and immediately brings up another question:

Okay... but what does that actually look like?

Today I want to talk about that in a very real, practical way.

What It Actually Starts to Look Like

Most families don’t start out planning to unschool.
They start with curriculum.
Schedules.
Good intentions.
A real desire to do this well.

Because that’s what we know.

Even when we leave school behind, we often recreate it at home — different materials, same structure. And for some kids, that works for a while.

Until it doesn’t.

The kids start dragging their feet.
They’re watching the clock.
They’re asking, “How much longer?” before they even sit down.

Worksheets get rushed through — not because they’re easy, but because the goal is just to be done. And even when you’ve created something thoughtful — a unit study you were genuinely excited about — there’s not much interest.

Or they fly through it as fast as possible so they can move on to something they actually care about.

There’s no curiosity.
No sense of ownership.
Getting it over with.

And that’s frustrating for parents.

Because you’re trying, you’re putting the effort in.
You’ve invested time, money, and energy into making this better than school .

On paper, it looked good.
You mapped out the year.
You bought the curriculum.
You even liked it.

But your child didn’t.

Or they started strong and fizzled out.
Every day turning into reminders and negotiations.

And at some point, you start wondering:

Is it supposed to feel like this?
If we left school to avoid this... why does it still look like school?

That’s usually the moment when parents realize:

It’s not about finding a better curriculum.
It’s about rethinking the whole approach.

The Noise Around Unschooling

If you’ve spent time in traditional homeschooling spaces — co-ops, support groups, conferences, blogs — you’ve probably heard some pretty strong opinions about unschooling.

Sometimes it’s subtle.
Sometimes it’s not.

Maybe you’re left with the impression that unschooling means doing nothing — no structure, no guidance, no direction… no parenting.

You might’ve heard that unschooling is:

Risky
Irresponsible
only for a certain “type” of family
something that closes doors later on

So even if these comments weren’t directed at you at the time, they tend to float around in yo ur head and create doubt.
Even when unschooling starts to feel appealing, another voice kicks in.

What if this limits my child later?
What if I’m making things harder for them?
What if this is just too... weird?

Yes — unschooling is unconventional.
But unconventional doesn’t mean unsafe or it’s going to limit their options.

I’ve worked with unschooling families for decades now. I’ve watched kids who never followed curriculum go on to college. I’ve seen them move into trades, creative careers, tech, entrepreneurship. They’ve become engineers, teachers, salespeople, artists, actors, farmers, social workers, hair stylists and therapists, you name it.

Doors didn’t close for them.

And the paths they chose made sense — because they actually knew themselves.

But no curriculum or traditional academic track.

What matters isn’t whether your child follows a conventional path.
What matters is whether they develop curiosity, learn what they need, and develop the confidence to make choices that fit them.

Those are not things curriculum guarantees.

And one of the reasons I talk so openly about this is because I know how intimidating it can feel to step away from what everyone else considers “safe.”

You’re not reckless for asking these questions.
You’re thoughtful.
And you deserve clear, honest answers — not fear-based warnings.

Still not sure…

This is something parents say to me all the time:

“I don’t want to go back to school. I don’t even want to duplicate it at home. But I don’t want to feel like I’m floating aimlessly either.”

That’s reasonable.

And it’s why lots of families start with what I call an Almost Unschooling approach.

You don’t have to throw everything out.
You don’t have to make a big declaration.
You don’t have to change everything at once.

What you do need is a clearer understanding of:

What structure can look like without lesson plans
How subjects show up naturally
Why your own deschooling matters — not just your kids’
And how to make decisions without second-guessing every move

Once you get clear on that , the day-to-day starts to feel different — not because everything is perfect or “all solved,” but because it makes more sense.

Your fears stop fighting your progress.

And that’s really what’s happening:

Your worst-case scenarios start flashing in your mind, trying to pull you back to the status quo — to what feels familiar, or at least what fear thinks is safe.

But you’ve already noticed something important:
the status quo isn’t working for you or your kids.

So you step off the conveyor belt — just enough to look around.

...You start unpacking ideas that maybe didn’t work, but you accepted as “a given.”
...You start observing what your own unique child needs to thrive.
...You start noticing what would help you thrive, too.

And sometimes that includes realizing you’ve got some deeply ingrained people-pleasing habits.
The world certainly liked you better when you were busy pleasing them. Compliant.

But unschooling asks a different question:
What happens when you get clear about what you need — not just what’s expected?

And no — this isn’t a light switch moment. Flip the switch and everything is different.
It’s not sudden: It’s usually small shifts you barely notice.

Until one day you look back and think...

Huh. I’ve grown.
I’m better at this.
I trust myself more.
I’m relaxing into who I really am and not who everyone else wants me to be.

I know.
It’s deep.

But it’s worth it.

So What to Do Next…

Most parents at this point aren’t looking for a big overhaul — honestly, who has the bandwidth for that?

They’re just tired of forcing something that clearly isn’t a good fit anymore.

They want the days to feel better.
They want less tension.
They want to understand what learning can look like without recreating school at home.

And they don’t want to feel like they’re flip-flopping or guessing every step of the way.

What you actually need here is good, solid information.

And here’s something I notice a lot with homeschoolers:
many of us are really good at researching.
We know how to read the blogs and collect ideas.
That’s a familiar lane for us — and it can make us feel productive.

But you’re here now.

And at some point, it’s time to move from just reading… to trying something new .

That means looking at what other unschoolers have actually done, noticing what worked for them, and asking:
Could any part of that work for us?

You don’t have to decide everything in January.
You don’t have to announce a new identity or burn anything down.

You just have to stay curious — and start using information that’s meant to be implemented now.
Specifics.
Practical ideas.
From another mom who’s already done this.

That’s where Unschooling 101 can really help.

It’s small, doable steps toward understanding how unschooling works — and how to make it work in your house.

Deep Breath…

You’re allowed to change course.
You’re allowed to do this gradually.
And you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

But at some point, it is time to step off the conveyor belt — the one that keeps you reading, listening, collecting,
and second-guessing... without actually moving.

You don’t have to leap.
You don’t have to commit forever.
You just have to take a few real steps in your real life.

Think of everything as an experiment.

Try something.
Notice what works.
Let go of what doesn’t.
Keep learning and adjusting.

That’s not indecision — that’s how real individualization happens.
Not just in learning, but in life. We pivot when everything points to needing a change.

And if you want help taking those first steps — with practical guidance, real examples, and support from someone who’s already walked this path — that’s exactly what Unschooling 101 is there for.

You don’t have to do this alone.

You don’t have to know exactly how this works yet

…but it might be time to find out.

2026: Unschooling Orientations

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 23:43:02 GMT

2026 Unschooling Orientations: Finding Your Way Without Overwhelm

If you’re exploring unschooling in 2026, chances are you’re not short on information.

You’re surrounded by advice, opinions, resources, and strong feelings — from the internet, from other parents, and sometimes from yourself.

What’s missing isn’t effort or care.

It’s orientation.

That’s why I'm creating Unschooling Orientations.

What Are Unschooling Orientations?

Unschooling Orientations are monthly, low-pressure walkthroughs designed to help parents get their bearings around common unschooling concerns — without coaching, without pressure, and without needing to “commit” to a path before you’re ready.

Each Orientation focuses on a single topic that tends to create confusion, doubt, or overwhelm, such as:

Support & community (see video above)
Deschooling
Unschooling teens
Tech and screen concerns
Learning to read
Feeling behind or unsure

Rather than telling you what to do, these sessions help you understand:

✔️ what options exist

✔️ how different approaches work at different stages

✔️ what often helps now vs. what can wait

✔️ and how to make calmer, more confident choices going forward

Think of them as context-setting, not instruction.

Why Orientations Matter

Most unschooling struggles don’t come from lack of commitment.

They come from trying to answer too many questions at once — often while second-guessing every step.

Orientations slow the process down.

They help you see:

...where you actually are

...which questions matter right now

...and which ones don’t need answers yet

That clarity alone often changes how things feel.

What These Are (and Aren’t)

Unschooling Orientations are:

✔️ informational and reassuring

✔️ grounded in real patterns I’ve seen over decades

✔️ designed to reduce overwhelm

They are not:

❌ coaching sessions

❌ sales presentations

❌ a requirement to do things a certain way

You’re free to watch live, catch the replay, or skip around as needed.

Monthly Schedule & Feedback

I’ll be hosting one Unschooling Orientation each month and adding the recordings here as a growing library you can return to anytime.

If you’d like to weigh in on future topics, you can share what would be most helpful for you right now. Here's the link , or use the poll on this page.

What Topics Would Help You?

Orientation Recordings

This page will house all Orientation replays:

Unschooling Orientation: Resources for Support

(Future orientations will be added below)

A Final Thought

I know you have a lot of questions — and we’ll get to them.

But sometimes the most helpful thing isn’t answering everything at once.

It’s knowing which questions need answers now — and which ones can wait.

Unschooling Mom2Mom has grown into one of the most trusted resources in unschooling.
And when you’re already overwhelmed, that can feel like a lot.

These Orientations are designed to help you find what you need faster — without sorting through everything at once or getting pulled into distractions.
Your time and energy matter.

We’ll start with your most pressing concern about unschooling.
I’ll help you identify the resources most likely to support you right now.

Let Winter Be Winter: Your Reset This Week

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 06:08:55 GMT

Take a pause with me before January pushes us forward...

Winter isn’t the time to push harder — even though everything tells us to.
This post-holiday season can really throw us off. We’re so conditioned to be productive and “get back to work,” even when our bodies are asking for something different.

One of the gifts of unschooling — or even just questioning the school mindset — is learning to turn down the outside noise and start noticing what we need… and what our kids need.

We’ve made it through the holiday obligations — real or imagined — and now we’re on the other side. But that in-between space can feel confusing.

So before January fully kicks in, let’s slow this down and talk about what this season is asking of us — and how to move through it without pushing or panic.

Available on Podcast platforms 12/29/25
9 AM Central

REFRAME TIME: THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM TO FIX

For a lot of people, last semester didn’t go the way they hoped.
Maybe the plan fell apart. Maybe the energy level dipped. Maybe the kids pushed back harder than we expected.

Meanwhile, the internet is full of photos and reels of happy homeschooling families — kids always eager, matching outfits, spotless houses, everyone smiling on cue. And sure, a few people may actually be living that version.

But most of us aren’t.

A semester that felt less than stellar doesn’t mean anything went wrong.
It usually means something wasn’t lining up — the expectations, the energy, the season of life your family was actually in.

And now , as the calendar flips, there’s an added layer.
Our nervous systems are being told it’s time to reset, refocus, and get productive again — even if our bodies and our kids aren’t there yet.

But Winter has never been a season of pushing.

Still, most of us were taught to override that — to power through, reset goals, and prove we’re being productive.

There’s no rule that says you need a shiny reset, a new system, or a perfectly mapped-out plan by January 2nd though.

Unschooling quietly asks us to do something very different.

Instead of sorting our experiences into “success” or “failure,” unschooling asks us to notice.
To pay attention.
To gather information.

When something feels off, it doesn’t mean it was wrong — it means we learned something.
About energy levels.
About timing.
About expectations.

Unschooling is an ever-evolving way of moving through the world — with your kids, and with real life and all the curveballs it throws your way.

We try things.
We notice what helps and what doesn’t.
We adjust.
We pivot.

That’s not failure — that’s how individualization actually works.

And that voice in your head that says,

“I’m being inconsistent,” or “Look how those plans are falling apart,”

isn’t telling the truth.

What’s really happening is that you’re learning to be responsive.
You’re adjusting expectations to fit your real lives.
You’re becoming more intentional about tuning into your family — and letting go of what traditional systems insisted mattered more.

LET THIS BE “WINTER WEEK” OR “NOTICING WEEK”

So instead of fixing anything right now, I want to offer a different idea.

What if this week — just this week — was your Winter Week ?

Or your Noticing Week ?

No catching up.
No planning the year.
No pressure to make January look impressive.

Just noticing.

Notice:
– What your kids are drawn to right now
– Where conversations linger
– When connection shows up easily
– What feels nourishing instead of draining

Winter gives us permission to slow it all way down.
And unschooling works best when we’re actually seeing what’s in front of us — not what we think should be there.

Reflection

It’s interesting how uncomfortable reflection can feel — especially when we’re tired or discouraged. A lot of us move quickly past it, because slowing down means seeing things more accurately... without the guilt or the stories we’ve been telling ourselves.

I think part of that comes from how we were conditioned in school. You do the work, someone else evaluates it, you get a grade, and then you move on. The assessment comes from outside of you.

But life doesn’t actually work like that. And unschooling definitely doesn’t.

There’s no External Grader. No single right answer. No final verdict.

When we rush to the next plan or the next idea, we often miss the most useful information — the why .

...Maybe the project fell flat because everyone was hungry.
...Maybe the idea didn’t match your kids’ interests.
...Maybe the timing was off.

None of that is a problem to fix — it’s data to notice.

Reflection gives us those small details we need to course-correct gently. But that only happens when we slow things down enough—and let go of the urgency to “get it right” and move on.

REASSURANCE:

When we rush past reflection, everything blurs together.
We tend to remember how something felt — not what was actually happening underneath.

And the truth is, we’re not always accurate when we’re remembering things through stress or fear.

I can’t tell you how many times parents say, “He’s on his devices from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep.”
And when we slow down and look more closely, that’s not actually true.

He went to sports practice.
He rode his bike.
She wandered into the kitchen to help with a holiday craft.
She stopped by to chat while the brownies were in the oven.

Those moments matter — but fear has a way of flattening them out.

When we’re worried, our brains start telling a much simpler story than real life is actually offering.

That’s why slowing down matters so much.
Not to minimize concerns — but to see clearly.

Reflection gives us the chance to gently ask, “Is this really true?”

And often, the answer is more nuanced— and more hopeful— than our first impression suggested.

And this Winter break sometimes gives us “permission” to slow down and notice more.
Those quieter truths are easier to see when we’re not rushing around.

Unschooling Tools

If reflection feels hard to do on your own, I’ve created tools specifically for unschooling families. Use them this week to slow down and notice more. It will help you regain your balance and see things more accurately.

The New Year's Guide will help you look back at the year and see all the progress you and the kids made.
The Kids' Video Interviews helps the kids look back in a fun way.
Seasonal Unschooling Guide: Winter will help you SEE the learning in everyday winter activities!
Season Pass for the Membership is a great deal to get support for the months ahead.
Discounted Coaching Calls are available - sign up in December and we can talk in January if you prefer!

And next week, I want to talk about something I hear all the time:
“I want to do more… but I feel lost.”

We’ll walk through that together — and I’ll give you practical next steps that don’t turn your days into school.

You don’t have to have it all figured out — just stay connected.
Subscribing to the podcast or the youtube channel is one easy way to do that.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Winter Lifelines for Unschoolers

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 18:05:59 GMT

If Winter Feels Harder This Year, You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong

Winter has a way of making everything feel heavier.

More time inside.

More noise.

More opinions.

More second-guessing.

If you’re unschooling, winter can quietly press on all the places where confidence already feels tender — even if things were going just fine a few months ago.

And that doesn’t mean unschooling stopped working.

It means it’s winter.

Why Winter Feels Different

(Especially When You’re Unschooling)

Winter changes the rhythm of everything.

There’s less daylight.

Less energy.

More togetherness.

More logistics just to leave the house.

Coats. Boots. Gloves.

Layer after layer — just to step outside.

And when getting outside isn’t easy, screens naturally take up more space. (no, your kids are not the only ones!)
Nothing inherently wrong with kids playing on their devices... but winter seems to limit the options.
And then all that anti-technology noise starts showing up in your head again.

Oh yeah... and then the holidays. Most wonderful time of the year, right?
But a few other things slip in here too:

relatives with their opinions
questions feel sharper
your “plan” (or lack of one) feels more visible

No wonder your confidence feels stretched.

When Guilt Sneaks In

This is often when guilt creeps in — quietly.

You start wondering:

Should I be more creative?

More energetic?

Better at all of this?

Nothing dramatic has happened.

Your kids are okay.

But the internal critic seems to crank up the pressure and imply you're failing at all of this.

That is not true though.

Winter adds layers you may have overlooked. — to the weather, the dynamics, and your mental load.

You Don’t Need Perfection This Season

Winter isn’t the season for:

perfection
Pinterest crafts
finding some palatable curriculum
proving anything to anyone

What helps in winter is something much simpler:

reassurance
perspective
ideas you can dip into when you have the energy

You don’t need more on your plate.

You need support that fits real-life winter with real-life kids.

A Few Winter Lifelines

(Choose What Fits You)

I’ve put together a few different ways to support parents through the winter months — because not everyone needs the same kind of help.

❄️ Discounted Coaching Calls (30 minutes)

Sometimes you don’t need resources or ideas — you just need to talk it through.

These 30-minute coaching calls are a chance to:

ask questions
work through doubts
get unstuck
hear a calm, experienced voice say, “This makes sense.”

No long-term commitment. Just a conversation to help you breathe again. Maybe it could be a gift for yourself!

❄️ Sue's Creating Confidence Membership

Winter can feel especially isolating.

If you’re feeling alone with your thoughts, worries, or decisions, the membership offers:

a warm, supportive community
ongoing guidance from me
space to ask questions without judgment and brainstorm with other unschoolers

You don’t have to carry all of this by yourself.

❄️ Seasonal Guide: Winter

Some days, you just want something you can DIY your way through winter.

The Seasonal Guide: Winter is for those moments — a resource you can come back to when you want:

ideas that fit winter rhythms
reassurance that learning IS happening!
perspe ctive without schooly framing
Journal pages for you

No lessons. No pressure.

Just something steady you can dip into when it helps.

Let’s Make Winter Easier

All of these options are available to you, with more details so you can decide what feels right for you right now.

My goal isn’t to push you to do more.

It’s to help you relax into the season, trust what’s already happening, and enjoy winter with your kids — instead of fighting it.

If winter feels heavy, you’re not imagining it.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

See the rest of this over at Instagram!
Are we following each other there??

Seasonal Unschooling: Winter

Unschooling in December: What Typical Days Really Look Like

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 14:57:00 GMT

A Typical Unschooling Day

...in December

Welcome back to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast, I'm Sue Patterson, and today I want to invite you into an easier December. Not a checklist, not a plan, not a new project to try to fit into an already overloaded month.
I'm recording from my daughter's house. So if you're watching on video and you're wondering about this six, seven, I'll tell you at the end.

Think about Past Decembers

I want you to think about how Decembers in the past have been.

You probably have some things that you'd like to do again, and some things that you really don't wanna repeat. Maybe you enjoy a lot of holiday activities, but you have this little dark cloud over your head thinking, oh man, we're gonna have to catch up later. Or, oh, couldn't I just squeeze in a little lesson planning?

Even though you know your kids are gonna fight it. and you're either gonna feel so depleted from forcing them to do things or yelling at them because it seems like such a little request. And no, I don't have hidden cameras in your [00:01:00] home. I've just been there.

And now my kids are all in their thirties, and it's even clearer to me how unnecessary all those struggles were. They didn't help my kids and it didn't help our connection, and I certainly didn't get to have the Decembers that I visualized. So that's what I want you to do.

A Little Visualization

I want you to take the next 10 minutes to visualize what this could look like as a family who really embraces unschooling. Resist the urge to visualize the kids eagerly pulling curriculum off the shelves. '

That's not what we're going for. I can talk to you in another podcast about why that plan isn't that great. But let's just visualize unschooling in December.

Imagine a morning in December where you wake up and you have no feeling of dread. No school schedules, no academic checklist. no guilt fueled. We should do more holiday activities, just soft, warm blankets and everybody waking up when their bodies are ready.

Kids drift in one by one. Someone starts making an ornament out of Legos. Another curls up to read under the glow of the tree lights. Someone else wants to do some baking and suddenly you're talking measuring and fractions and which size pan will hold the volume, the temperature of the oven and preheating, and even family traditions.

It's all learning through baking and building without any major orchestration on your part. Just engaging with the kids on what interests them. No rushing, no pressure. Just a natural unschooling morning in December.

Later in the Day

So as the day moves on, learning is everywhere. Kids decorating cookies, there's symmetry and design and chemistry and creativity, rearranging ornaments on the tree, there's patterns and storytelling and cultural traditions. Crafting gifts like include reading directions. Fine motor skills, color mixing.

Watching the Weather Channel gives you geography and science and global awareness. Wrapping the presence, more geometry, problem solving and sequencing, and none of it feels like school. It just feels like living your life. This is unschooling secret. Learning leads through everything. December is no exception, one of the biggest gifts of unschooling is that you get more connection in your day.

Slow conversations, shared projects, snuggles on the couch with hot chocolate. Time to say yes to things that matter. This is the part that builds trust and safety and curiosity, the real foundations for learning. And I really want you to picture this clearly. No catching up, no recreating school. No performing for relatives who have opinions.

No, we should be learning more right now. Because the reality, and you know this, is that even if you set aside your lesson plans, learning doesn't stop in December. In fact, it often expands into areas that don't show up in a curriculum box like generosity or culture, creativity, even hospitality. Planning and problem solving, emotional regulation, family traditions, community involvement.

These are the things your kids are gonna remember. These are the things that shape who they become. These are what really matter. Now, imagine a week with a little margin in it, room to breathe, room to recover. Room to say, we're tired today. Let's stay home.

Rest isn't laziness.

Rest is the soil where curiosity can grow.

Without a rigid plan, kids naturally wander into their own interests. A spontaneous baking experiment or a craft explosion on the dining room table or a movie marathon that leads to deep conversations or a fascination with a country they heard about on a weather report.

Maybe they're rewatching holiday favorite shows, and diving into character arcs or world building. Maybe they're researching various holiday traditions from around the world. Maybe you're doing that with them.

I have seasonal unschooling guides and the winter guide encourages noticing how seasonal shifts open, new curiosities, snow and light and temperature, nature cycles, and holidays, coziness and environmental changes. kids, always find an angle.

So you can really immerse yourself in the season.

No difficult steps to add to your plate, but things you wanted to do with the kids, but maybe didn't have time because you were either cranking through those worksheets or feeling guilty about it now and time slipped away. What if you could skip all that? Because kids wonder thrives when you leave space for it.

On to the Busier Households

Okay, so now let's shift the scene because not every family has a quiet December, and truthfully, most of us have some days quiet, some days busy. Let's look at these busy days and see how unschooling friendly these are too. picture, this one kid. Grabs their theater bag and they're off to rehearsal lines, blocking teamwork, costume design, confidence another's in the backyard, practicing soccer kicks physics, persistence, strength, strategy.

Maybe you all head to the craft store to get some supplies for gingerbread houses or to see what's on sale. You could add to your yard decor. Maybe you grab some mad Libs for holidays and you stop by the mall to see the big displays. You make plans to check out the neighborhood lights and see who's gonna win the Christmas vacation award in your neighborhood, or maybe it's a homeschool group outing to the food pantry.

Kids sorting donations, understanding community needs, [00:07:00] talking about empathy and leadership and why service matters. And sometimes one activity sparks another, and that trip to the food pantry can lead to questions The kids will ask, could we do something every month to help people?

Suddenly you're brainstorming together, collecting socks or gloves or coats, creating comfort bags for homeless people, or holiday cards for seniors, or help at the Kitten Rescue House. Before you know it, you have one cause a month to explore and support,and that's social studies and civics. That's purpose and connection. So busy days can be filled with learning. They're unschooling in motion. So now imagine evening and you're settling in and maybe you do a quick walk around the neighborhood to see who added to their outside decorations. And then back home, everyone sinks into the couch and you light a candle or you turn on softer lights.

Maybe somebody flips through the Gratitude Guide for some prompts:

What was the best moment of today?
Who did you help or who helped you?
What surprised you today?
What felt comforting?

These quiet moments anchor your family. They help kids develop reflection and empathy and emotional awareness, all without forced journaling or schoolish pressure. So then as you wind down, maybe you flip through the holiday learning guide, not for lessons, but just as a reminder that baking today was math and science and culture.

And the decorating involved geometry and physics and patterns. The shopping trip was budgeting and reading and critical thinking. The crafting was art, literacy, design, and problem solving. The family connections involved, geography and communication and psychology. Everything you feared wasn't enough, was already happening in plain sight.

December doesn't hide learning. It reveals it If you know how to look and you're learning how to look,

so remember, some days are calm and cozy. Some days are busy and full, some days fall apart because somebody is sick or tired or overstimulated. Some days shift because of weather or inspiration or mood, but every day in an unschooling family is tuned into the actual humans who live there, not someone else's schedule, not someone else's expectations, not some abstract idea of what learning should look like.

This is the heart of unschooling: responsive, real life learning.
No matter this season.

So if today's conversation helped you picture a December that feels calmer and more connected, and a lot less pressure filled, and you'd love a little support that could make that your reality, I put everything you need in one place.

4 Fabulous Resources

My Holiday Unschooling bundle brings together.

Four fabulous resources to help you move through the holidays with ease without stressing about doing enough. You can get these individually, you can get all of them if you're in the membership group, or you can buy this discounted bundle.

Holiday Learning
It has the holiday learning guide for a clear, reassuring breakdown of all the subject areas that are weaving through typical holiday activities.
Coping with Critics
Perfect for quieting that "Are they learning?" worry . It has Coping with the Critics, Getting through the GetTogethers. It's brand new this year and I pulled it from my Creating Confidence Membership Group . This workbook helps you anticipate tricky family gatherings. Plan solutions and use practical scripts to stay calm and confident. It includes affirmation cards that you can keep in your pocket or on your phone.

Seasonal Guide: Winter
Then the seasonal guide, the seasonal end schooling guide for winter is 71 pages, and that's included in this bundle too. It's got awesome winter ideas, also broken down by familiar subjects so that you can see the learning everywhere. 12 weeks of journal pages after the fact recording sheets, memes and humor, and everything from an unschooling perspective.
New Year's Workbook
And then lastly, the New Year's workbook is your retro planner recorder of how the year went.
You can look back on the progress and the growth. The moments that shaped your year. Month-by-month Journaling aligns beautifully with unschooling and becomes a keepsake that you'll wanna do every year.

So if you'd love December to feel lighter and more intentional. More aligned with the kids you have this bundle will support you every step of the way. So I'll put the link in the show notes. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Then let me know if it helped you picture December in a way that feels doable, filled with activities that fit your family.

Also, this is day one of my seven day free holiday [00:12:00] challenge, and if you'd like a week of quick reminders in your inbox, be sure to hop on my email list. I'll put the link for that too below. I have a lot of good ideas to help you with unschooling in December.

All you have to do is sign up and I'll be checking in with you daily for a week. So enjoy the kids happy unschooling, and we'll talk again soon.

6 7

And I told you I'd tell you about this 67 on the lamp.
So yesterday was December 6th and today is December 7th, and my grandson does Elf on the shelf. And so the elf thought it was a joke to say, you know what? Today is six. You know what? Tomorrow is the 7th - so... 6, 7.

It's a current phase in the elementary and middles schools. Jackson insists it's actually over. He thinks it's boring and not funny anymore. But he did find sixes and sevens all over the house on the back of the toilet, on the inside and outside of the pantry, in the grape drawer. On the computer. Sixes and sevens everywhere and on the tree. I think there's a couple on the tree.He feigned disgust but as soon as his friend came over, he proceeded to show how the house was inundated with 6's and 7s.

Where where else did he see them?

6 7 Rolling Stone explains here.

The ELF is very clued into what's hip, what's the current trend.
Even though my grandson says, no, that trend is over.
So six, seven, just thought I'd tell you.

All right, y'all have a great week.

Unschooling Doubts and Fears

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 18:47:21 GMT

You Don’t Have to Hold Your Unschooling Fears Alone.

I’ve been thinking about you lately.

Not the collective “you all,” but you — the parent listening to podcasts on your walk, or scrolling through ideas late at night, or sitting at your kitchen table wondering quietly:

“Am I even doing this right?”

And the image that keeps coming to mind is the two of us sitting together with something warm to drink, the way you’d chat with a trusted friend...not about curriculum or checklists or what everyone else is doing, but about what’s really happening in your home and in your heart.

Because unschooling can feel big and beautiful — and also heavy, confusing, and lonely.

And you don’t have to hold all of that alone.

The Fears We Don’t Say Out Loud

Parents tell me some version of the same questions again and again:

“Am I doing enough?”
“What if there are gaps?”
“What if my child never gets motivated?”
“Why does everyone else seem confident?”
“What if I’m messing this up?”

These worries don’t mean unschooling isn't working.

They’re signs that you’re stepping away from old patterns and into something much more individualized and real.

You’re learning how to tailor everything — your kids’ education, your parenting, the way your family moves through the world. And of course that feels shaky sometimes. We weren’t taught how to do this. We were taught to follow instructions, to stay inside the lines, to match whatever “kids that age” were supposed to be doing.

But unschooling doesn’t work that way.

The only path that works for unschooling families is the one you build yourself — not a one-size-fits-all plan based on what other kids your child’s age are doing.

And if you feel that tug to compare, or that creeping sense of falling behind, that’s just the old age-based checklist whispering in your ear. It has nothing to do with your child’s real learning.

You Don’t Have to Untangle This Alone

So many parents tell me, “Is this what it's supposed to look like?,” oor “I should be able to figure this out myself.”

Needing support doesn’t mean you’re not capable.
It means you’re human.
It means you care.

And it’s why I created something new — something simple and private.

A Place to Tell Me Your Biggest Unschooling Fear

I made a page on my website where you can share the worry that’s weighing on you most right now. Not the polished version — the real one.

You can tell me:

What you’re afraid of
What’s been overwhelming
Where you feel stuck
What keeps circling your mind at 2am

I read every message personally.
And I respond with guidance that fits your situation — not a template or a generic answer.

Just the next right step that helps you breathe again.

If you’re carrying something quietly, you can share it here:

☎ When You Want a Real Conversation

For some parents, writing it out is enough.
For others, they want to talk it through.

Every December/January I offer 30-minute Coaching Calls — where we sit together (over Zoom) and sort through the real stuff:

What’s working
What’s not
What you can let go of
What your next step actually is
How to start the new year with less pressure and more confidence

These calls aren’t a big commitment.
They’re not a long program.
They’re simply a soft landing place — a moment to get clarity and feel supported.

You can grab one here if you want:

You’re Not the Only One Who Feels This Way

Wherever you are today — overwhelmed, hopeful, confused, inspired, scared — I want you to hear this clearly:

You are not behind.
You are not doing it wrong.
You are not supposed to have all the answers.

Unschooling is a practice.
A process.
A series of small, brave decisions to trust yourself and your child a little more.

And you don’t have to walk it alone.

I’m here when you need me.

~Sue

The Unschooling Roller Coaster & Why You Shouldn't Ride Alone!

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 07:23:26 GMT

If unschooling feels like an emotional roller coaster lately, this episode will help you understand why — and what actually makes the ride smoother. Let's break down the real reasons parents feel wobbly and why support makes such a dramatic difference, especially during high-pressure seasons like the holidays.

Here’s what we explore:

Why unschooling feels so up-and-down at first
The hidden pressures that make parents question everything
The real reason doing this alone feels overwhelming
What genuine support actually provides
How community can steady your nerves and calm your home
Why this season is the easiest time to get help

This episode is for parents who want clarity, steadiness, and reassurance that they truly don’t have to figure out unschooling alone.

The Unschooling Roller Coaster (and Why You Shouldn’t Ride It Alone)

Before we begin, take a breath with me.

If unschooling feels like a roller coaster right now...
If one day you feel confident and the next day you feel like you’re absolutely screwing it up...
If you’re exhausted by the second-guessing, the googling, the overthinking...

You’re not alone.

In fact, this podcast is exactly for you.

I’m Sue Patterson, and for decades I’ve watched parents go through this same up-and-down ride. And today, I want to talk about something that a LOT of people don’t realize:

You don’t have to ride this roller coaster by yourself.

And honestly?
Most parents shouldn’t.

Especially at the beginning.

Especially during the holidays.

So today I want to talk about:

why this stage feels so hard
why you feel so wobbly even if things are going “pretty well”
what actually helps unschooling parents feel steady
and whether you might need a different kind of support

I want to share what I really know...

The way I wish someone had talked to me when I first started.

WHY THIS FEELS SO HARD (AND IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT)

Unschooling exposes every insecurity you’ve ever carried about parenting.

Every old belief.
Every fear.
Every “what if I mess this up?”

And while your kids are relaxing a little...
And your home is getting calmer...
And you’re actually seeing signs of healing...

You’re still carrying the schoolish measuring stick in your backpack.

And THEN you leave your house —
and walk into:

Relatives
opinions
comparisons
expectations
judgment
and their “innocent questions” that feel like tiny stabs

No wonder it can feel so shaky.

This isn’t a failure.

This is the deschooling stage.

And it’s absolutely normal for this stage to feel like a roller coaster.

WHY GOING IT ALONE MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH HARDER

Here’s the part that most people don’t talk about:

When you try to “figure it out yourself,” you’re actually:

Overthinking
Isolating
Stuffing down your questions
Reading too much
Doubting your instincts
Losing momentum

ALL while staying polite around people who don’t understand unschooling at all.

It’s no wonder you feel confused.

This is not a solo sport.
It never has been.

Unschooling is a mindset shift , not a curriculum swap.
And mindset shifts require support, reflection, and community .

You’re not weak for needing help —
you’re HUMAN.

WHAT SUPPORT ACTUALLY DOES (THE PART NO ONE TELLS YOU)

When parents join my membership, they think they’re buying:

Guides, ebooks, resources
Weekly coaching calls

But what they’re actually getting is:

relief
someone to message when the panic hits
a place where nobody judges them
support that feels like exhaling
a place to stop spiraling
the confidence they thought was missing
Other parents who get it

Our community becomes the place where:

your questions are normal
your fears make sense
your wins get celebrated
and your nervous system finally relaxes a little

You’re not trying to prove anything.
You’re not trying to “keep up.”

You’re just held — while you learn how to hold your child.

That’s what makes things easier.

That’s what makes homes calmer.

That’s what makes parenting lighter.

WHAT PEOPLE SAY...

Someone new came to a Monday call and said:

“I’ve been trying to find local families...but everyone feels cliquey or judgmental. This group is the opposite of all that”

Another mom said:

“I’ve been in other online groups. But this is real support. In the moment. When I really need it.”

Another said:

“I’ve learned more in 3 months than in 3 years of trying to figure this out alone.”

This is what the membership gives people.

Not curriculum.
Not rules.
Not pressure.

But instead

Steadiness.
Connection.
Perspective.
And Confidence.

WHY NOW

(THE REAL BLACK FRIDAY REASON)

I’m not going to yell SALE at you.
I don’t really do that.

But I am going to say this clearly:

If you’ve been struggling...
If you’re overwhelmed...
If you’ve been doing this alone...
If your confidence is shaky...
If you wish someone could just help you figure things out...

Then this is the best time of the year to join.

Not because of some sense of urgency.

But because:

you deserve support

you don’t need to keep doing this alone

and this can actually make your holidays easier

The Black Friday price is simply a way to open the door wider for people who’ve been hesitating.

And if you’re listening later?
Message me — I always have something to help you.

WHO THIS ISN’T FOR

But I do want to say...

My membership is not for everyone.

It’s NOT for parents who:

already have a big in-person unschooling support system - they don’t need it.

prefer total privacy and no community interaction - we can talk 1:1 without a group.

Or maybe just want to continue trying DIY a little more.

But it IS for parents who:

fe el alone
feel uncertain
feel judged
feel overwhelmed
want gentler days
want a steady mentor
want weekly grounding
want a place where unschooling makes sense
want to stop second-guessing everything

If that’s you... you’ll love it in the group!

One last thing...

Unschooling is not a curriculum.
It’s not a method.

It’s a new way of seeing your child.
A new way of seeing yourself.
A new way of seeing learning.

And it’s so much easier to see ALL of that, when you don’t have to do it alone.

So if something in you whispered “yes” at any moment during this episode —follow it.

You deserve support.
Your child deserves a grounded parent.
And your future self will thank you.

I'm here when you’re ready. ��
~Sue

Handling Critics During the Holidays

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 14:30:00 GMT

Handling critics during the holidays is one of the biggest challenges for unschooling parents — especially if you’re still in the deschooling phase and building confidence in your choices. This podcast/blogpost explores why family comments feel so intense, what’s really happening beneath those uncomfortable conversations, and how to stay grounded around people who don’t understand unschooling yet.

You’ll hear about:

Why criticism hits harder during early deschooling
How quiet progress at home gets dismissed at gatherings
What triggers old fears when relatives question your choices
How to stay steady and protect your calm during the holidays

If you're preparing for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any family get-together, this conversation will give you clarity and tools to navigate critics with far less stress.

Holiday Critics

5 Tips to Help you Stay Calm Under Pressure!

Podcast Transcript:

Handling critics during the holidays can be one of the hardest parts of unschooling — especially when you’re still in the deschooling phase and trying to build confidence in your choices. At home, you’re finally starting to see real progress: calmer days, more curiosity, deeper connection, and a child who’s slowly recovering from the pressure of traditional schooling. But when you walk into a holiday gathering, those quiet wins often get dismissed or ignored, and family members may question your parenting, your child’s learning, or the idea of unschooling altogether.

This episode explores why criticism feels so intense when you’re still deschooling, how family comments can trigger old fears, and why early unschooling makes you especially sensitive to judgment. We’ll talk about what’s really happening beneath those uncomfortable conversations, why your relatives may misunderstand what they’re seeing, and how you can stay grounded, confident, and connected — even when people don’t support your choices. If you’re bracing for tough conversations at Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any holiday get-together, this episode will give you clarity and tools to navigate it with far less stress.

Before we get any further, I’m Sue Patterson, and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast. I’m bringing weekly peptalks to parents who have stepped away from schools and the school-approach to homeschooling. Take a second and subscribe to the podcast - it helps us spread the word that families DO have options when it comes to the educational choices for their kids.

So this, week we’re talking about something that comes up every single holiday season — and honestly, all year long:

What do you do when you finally feel steady at home... and then you step into a gathering full of people who don’t understand unschooling?

If you’ve been dreading those questions, those eyebrows, those comments — let’s breathe together. You’re not alone, and nothing is wrong with you.

Let’s talk about what’s really happening underneath all of that.

Inside Your Home: Real, but Quiet, Progress

When we’re at home with our kids, we’re living in this quiet little ecosystem where real changes are happening — not big, flashy, trophy-worthy things, but subtle shifts that matter deeply.

Maybe your child is finally relaxing after years of pressure.
Maybe they’re smiling more, sleeping better, asking questions again.
Maybe they’re starting to feel safe enough to be themselves.
Maybe you are softening, reconnecting, feeling more at ease.

There’s no award for:
“Finally exhaled today,”
“Talked openly in the car,”
or “Had a tiny spark of curiosity.”

But you see it.
You’re starting to understand how real learning actually works.

Unschooling parents learn to recognize these quiet wins — the healing, the trust-building, the moments where your child feels good in their own skin.

This is the real progress.
This is what matters.

Then You Leave the House

So of course it feels jarring — even heartbreaking — when you walk into a holiday gathering…
and suddenly you’re surrounded by people still using the old measuring stick.

You’re noticing connection.
They’re looking for test scores.

You’re watching confidence grow.
They’re looking for competitive achievements.

You’re focused on emotional safety.
They’re focused on performance.

You’re celebrating healing and curiosity.
They’re scanning for something impressive to report back to the family group chat.

And it hurts — not because you’re wrong...
but because you’ve changed how you see progress, and they haven’t.

You’re living by a new framework.
They’re measuring by the old one.

Of course it creates tension.
Of course it feels vulnerable.

Why Their Comments Hit Hard (The Real Reason)

And here’s the piece most parents don’t realize:

Critics feel louder when we are still deschooling.

It’s not about an “old version of you getting activated.”
It’s that you’re still becoming steady in this new way of seeing learning.

So when someone questions you, or doubts you, or makes a passive-aggressive comment…
their words land right on the parts of you that are still tender.

Not because they’re right —
but because you’re still unlearning old beliefs.

You’re still learning to trust what you see happening at home.

Those reactions you feel?
That wobble?
That tiny panic?

They’re not signs you’re making the wrong choice.
They’re signs you’re still building your foundation.

And once that foundation is solid — truly solid — those exact same comments won’t shake you at all.

The critics don’t change.
You do.

When you are grounded and clear, their opinions lose their power.

Why Critics Want Everything to Stay the Same

And then there’s this piece:

We leave our homes — where we’re intentionally learning to look at life differently — and we walk straight into conversations with people who want everything to stay the same.

They’re not trying to understand your changes.
They’re trying to pull you back into the version of parenting that makes sense to them.

Back to what feels predictable.
Back to the system they trust.

And that pull can feel strong.

But it doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
It means you’re growing — and they haven’t caught up yet.

Here’s the piece most parents don’t realize:

Unschooling success is really all about preparation.

Not rigid planning.
Not controlling outcomes.

But preparing yourself — emotionally and practically — for the humans you’re about to encounter.

Because by the time a holiday gathering rolls around, you actually know more than you think you do.

You’ve been observing your child.
Paying attention to what dysregulates them, what calms them, what overwhelms them, what lights them up.
You know their preferences.
You know their breaking points.
You even know the look they get right before frustration hits.

This is the result of the real work you’ve been doing at home — watching, noticing, understanding.
You’re not trying to jam square pegs into round holes anymore.

So when you’re heading into a gathering, it becomes less about “hoping for the best” and more about anticipating the possibilities .

Not predicting disaster — but reading the landscape.

Who will likely ask questions?
Which rooms or activities might overwhelm your kid?
Where can they retreat if things get loud?
Do they need a plan, a buffer, a signal to leave?
Do you need a phrase ready so you’re not caught off guard?

This isn’t anxiety — it’s skill.
It’s what partnered parenting actually looks like.

You can support yourself in that preparation in a few key ways:

1. Have a couple of go-to phrases ready.

This isn’t about defending unschooling — it’s about staying out of the hot seat.

When you’re prepared with a calm, confident sentence or two, you don’t get pulled into explaining or debating.
You simply redirect the conversation and keep your energy protected.

I do have a guidethat can help prepare you for these situations. Not with scripts to memorize, but with options you can adapt to fit your tone. Think of it as your emotional carry-on bag — everything you need for the bumps in the road. It’s in this week’s Thanksgiving Parent Bundle and also the Holiday bundle . I’ll link to these in the show notes.

2. Have a plan for the kids (because you know them best).

If you watch closely, you can see the signs before things slide sideways.

Maybe they need:
• a full tummy before you arrive
• their headphones
• something to fidget with
• a plan for where to go if they need a reset
• a heads-up about who will be there
• reassurance that YOU are available if they need you
• permission to stay close
• permission to take breaks

This is where your unschooling skills shine — you understand your child in ways nobody else in that room does.

And you can show up for them intentionally.

3. Decide what your boundaries are ahead of time.

Not the dramatic kind — just the quiet, steady ones.

• What questions will you answer?
• Which ones will you gently redirect?
• Which ones aren’t up for discussion at all?
• How long do you realistically want to stay?
• What’s your exit plan if someone pushes too hard?

Boundaries feel so much safer when they’re thought through in advance.

4. Create emotional armor that comes from truth, not defensiveness.

When you walk in knowing:

“I know my child.”
“I see progress they don’t see.”
“I’m learning and growing too.”
“This is a long game — and we’re on track.”

...you move through the room differently.

Calmer.
Steadier.
Harder to rattle.

And this steadiness is exactly what the guide reinforces — it helps you understand why people criticize, how to respond without taking the bait, and how to stay in your lane without losing your cool.

You don’t NEED them to approve of what you’re doing. It’s ok to disagree. You’re a grownup too.

5. And finally… give yourself grace.

If you’re feeling shaky — if every comment feels like a spotlight — remember:

This isn’t a sign that unschooling isn’t working or you’re not cut out for this.
It’s a sign that you are still in the middle of changing the way you see everything.

You’re not failing or behind, if you feel wobbly.
You’re not supposed to be “immune” to criticism yet.

You’re still deschooling.
You’re still building that inner foundation.

Your preparation isn’t just practical logistical — it’s emotional.
And every bit of this work counts.

I mentioned the new guide Coping with Critics: Getting Through the Get-Togethers that can help you get yourself AND your kids for the next gathering with family and friends.

You don’t need perfect responses, you just need a tool to help you walk into these situations fully prepared for whatever you’re going to be facing.

I get it, you’re not on steady ground yet with this unschooling thing. That’s ok. But this can help you feel supported as we move through the world with our friends and family who don’t really get what we’re trying to do.

You’ll find it in both the Thanksgiving Parent Bundle and the Holiday Bundle , depending on when you’re listening to this, and which season you’re walking into.

Take what you need.
Support your future self.

You’ve got this — and I’m right here with you.

~Sue

Is Play Enough? What Legos, Trampolines & Video Games Teach Us About Learning

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 16:43:35 GMT

Parents often ask if play is “enough” when transitioning to unschooling — especially when kids seem glued to Legos, trampolines, or video games. This post explains why the “play all day” phase is normal during deschooling and how it builds real learning.

You’ll learn:

What decompression and deschooling look like
Why motivation returns naturally
How play builds creativity, problem-solving, and confidence
Ways to support learning through partnership, not pressure

Podcast Transcript:

Coming up today:

What if your child just plays all day — Legos, trampolines, or video games — and you start to wonder if you’re doing enough?

We’ll talk about what’s really happening there — and how to find calm and confidence again.

I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. I’m here bringing weekly unschooling peptalks so you can see how unschooling works. My own grown unschoolers are now all in their 30s and I’ve circled back to offer a little reassurance! They got into college, own homes, have families - all the things we worry about, right? Unschooling didn’t close doors - in fact, it opened them.

People helped me figure out how to do this, and now I want to do that for you!

So whether you’re listening on a podcast platform or watching the video version at YouTube , I’m glad you’re here! Take a second and click subscribe, give it a few stars, like or comment - all those things help way more than you probably realize!

So today I want to share part of an email I received that really captures what so many parents feel when they first start unschooling.

This mom wrote after pulling her third-grader out of private school. She said homeschooling just wasn’t working the way she’d hoped — and then she stumbled onto one of my YouTube videos and started wondering about unschooling.

Her story probably sounds familiar to a lot of you.

She said:

“So far, most of this concept makes total sense...

but what if all my kid wants is to play Legos or jump on the trampoline all day?”

Let’s talk about that.

The Big Fear

It really does make sense, doesn’t it?
Her story is like thousands of others — we all start out thinking learning should look a certain way... and then life (and our kids) show us something different.

So what about the kid who just plays?

Here’s what I told her — and what I want you to know too:

It doesn’t really stay that way forever.

They may do it a lot at first, but as they come to the idea of having say over their own life, they don’t cling to it so tightly anymore.

It’s kind of like the rubber-band effect .

After being controlled for so long — school schedules, rules, expectations — they finally get some freedom, and they stretch it all the way out.

And then, over time, the tension eases.

They loosen their grip. They open up to new ideas again.

So if your child seems to just want Legos or trampolines right now — take a deep breath.
This is part of deschooling. It’s healing, it’s decompressing, it’s rebalancing .

Partnership, Not Passivity

The next thing she asked was,

“Do I just wait until the Lego and trampoline period is over?”

And I said — this is where unschooling gets misunderstood.
It’s not about sitting back and waiting. It’s not hands-off.

It’s about partnership .

It’s watching. Noticing. Seeing what they’re drawn to — enjoying that they’re enjoying it!

And, if you can see bridge to something YOU know about that they might like, because it’s kind of “adjacent” to what they’re enjoying now, you mention it. Bridges getting built.

We have stories in our heads about what we think is best.
Unschooling asks us to slow down, collect some data through observation, and then make little suggestions that are close to what already lights them up.

If they’re deep in Lego, maybe it’s:
“Hey, want to see how this bridge really works?”
Or pulling up an architecture video, or talking about the tallest building in your city.

If it’s trampolines, maybe it’s movement, rhythm, physics, or even music — whatever’s nearby.

It’s not orchestrating. It’s joining.
Sometimes it’s just a wink, or refilling their water, or baking a favorite snack while they play.

You don’t have to play Legos to be engaged.
You just have to show up in ways that tell them,
“I see you. I value what matters to you.”

____________________________________________

�� Quick pause for a little reminder — since we’re talking about confidence and connection…
My Creating Confidence Membership is open right now, and I’ve opened the Black Friday sale early — 20% off monthly or 56% off the annual plan.

Inside, we talk through questions just like this every single week — what to do when things look “off,” how to trust learning again, and how to make unschooling feel calm and doable.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

So if you’ve been thinking about joining, now really is the best time!

You can find all the details at unschoolingmom2mom.com/black-friday .

________________________________________________

When Fear Gets Loud

And then came the part I think every parent feels at some point.

She said,

“I’m afraid my strong-willed boy will just keep doing what he wants — that he’ll grow up lazy, or unmotivated. I see so many young men like that, and I don’t want that for him.”

And...she’s not wrong to care about that.

But when you look closely, you can see how fear starts layering story on top of story.

We imagine this whole domino effect — a Lego-playing 8-year-old turns into a lost adult — and suddenly we’re spiraling.

So I told her:
Let’s come from a different assumption.

What if he becomes someone who really knows himself and doesn’t have to be constantly told what to do?
What if that self-knowledge builds confidence — the kind that lets him pursue what matters to him?
And what if he learns cooperation because his childhood was filled with listening and partnering, not control and domination?

That’s what we’re building here — not disobedience or indulgence — but internal strength.

Reframing the Challenge

Sometimes parents say,

“But don’t kids need to be challenged from the outside, too?”

Of course! But those challenges come naturally — through friendships, projects, obstacles, life itself.

You won’t deprive your child by giving them space.

You’ll simply change the kind of challenges they face — from compliance to curiosity .

That’s where the real learning happens.

So instead of rushing to “fix” the Lego or trampoline phase, use it as data.
Notice what draws them in.
That’s where their motivation lives.

Pivot instead of Panic

So if you’re in this stage right now — where your child just seems to play —don’t panic.

It’s not a problem to solve.
It’s an invitation to observe, connect, and rebuild trust.

Your role is shifting from teacher to partner.
You’ll see learning bloom again — in its own time.

And if you need help figuring out what that actually looks like — check out my Unschooling 101course .
It’ll walk you through the steps to make this transition feel doable and calm. (Use the discount code: BF2025)

Or come join me inside the Creating Confidence Membership — that’s where we talk about this stuff in real time, every week.

You’ve got this.
Enjoy the adventure — and go refill that Lego bin. ��

Unschooling and Gratitude Podcast

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 16:03:35 GMT

Unschooling and Gratitude:

How Focusing on What’s Going Right Can Change Everything

Part of the Unschooling & Gratitude Series — exploring how thankfulness shapes connection, confidence, and learning in everyday life.

This episode of the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast aired in Season 1, but its message never gets old.
In it, I share why gratitude is such a powerful mindset shift for unschooling parents — and how even a few small daily reminders can change the tone of your whole household.

If you’re looking for new Gratitude activities, journaling ideas for kids, or ways to bring more calm and connection into your home, be sure to check out the Unschooling & Gratitude Hub . That’s where you’ll find my latest resources, printable guide, and more about the 15-Day Gratitude Challenge inside the membership.

Now, grab your warm drink and settle in — let’s talk about what happens when we start noticing all the things that are going right.

— �� Sue Patterson, Unschooling Mom2Mom

I’m Sue Patterson, and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

Since it’s November, I wanted to be sure to talk a little about Gratitude with you. So often, I hear from clients who have started into a negative spiral about what’s happening in their houses. And so much of that could be turned around by focusing on Gratitude.

Making the conscious choice to focus on the good things happening each day will have
a giant impact on your overall outlook. Have you heard the Buddhist saying,

"Turn Your Face Toward the Light - and you’ll see so much Light.
Turn Your Face Toward the Dark - and you’ll see mainly dark."

We all want more happiness and joy in our lives.

But we can let our circumstances - or our exhaustion or our worries - get the better of us.

And sometimes, when we’re really honest, we can share out loud that this parenting thing isn’t always that great. It can get monotonous. It can even be boring. I’m sure this seems a little odd - hearing this from me - when I talk a lot about the fabulous adventures that you’ll have with unschooling.

And I DO believe that you will have awesome experiences!

But here’s the thing we all know:

It’s not fabulous every day. Nothing is, really.

But we can start to shift our mindset about our lives, and things can get better. Focusing on gratitude can lower our stress level - our body experiences actual physical, psychological, and social benefits when we do this. Turning it into a small daily practice can increase the likelihood that improvements will stick. It moves happiness - and a healthier mental attitude - to the forefront of our brains.

And it can start with Gratitude.

One of the interesting things about being an unschooling parent is you get this opportunity to really examine what’s happening in your home - as well as in your own mind. It’s all related, isn’t it?

When we’re not happy, that spreads through the house pretty quickly.

And while I’m not saying “Be happy, Every Day, Non-Stop!” - that would be weird and totally impossible.

I am saying that we have the chance to change the trajectory a little bit by reframing and dusting off some ideas in our head. And this WILL translate to a little more happiness in our day to day lives.

It may feel a little trite to ask you if you have a "Gratitude Practice."

I know the answer for most of you,

"Sounds great. But who has time?"

I'm asking you to make a little time. I really believe it will help you with your unschooling.

Where can you find 3-4 minutes every day for a little Gratitude?

How about 3-4 minutes less on your social media newsfeed - just 3-4 minutes!
Ponder your list while you're doing the dishes.
Think of your personal gratitude list whenever you're sitting at a red light.

Lots of areas in our homes are going well - so let’s not breeze past those. When we do that, it takes us back to only focusing on where we came up short! It’s so easy to have this happen - with the never ending laundry, meals, and life challenges. Then we get distracted by these things and forget to notice what’s going right or what you really want to pause and be grateful for.

So let’s do something about that!

Set up little gratitude reminders for yourself throughout the house to help bring these ideas back to the front of your mind.

Take a deep breath when you see these reminders, or think of a happy memory.
That's how you make the association. Over and over. And it can become a habit.

So what would make good reminders?

We have Gratitude memes at Pinterest .
You could save the ones that resonate with you.

Over on Instagram , I’ve included a few specifically connected with unschooling. And I'm always looking for more! What reasons do you feel glad to be unschooling? You could share here in this thread . Or over on Facebook .

"I’m grateful that unschoolers get to pursue their curiosities without having to get “the other stuff done first.”

"I’m grateful that unschooled kids aren’t being conditioned to be People Pleasers."

"I’m grateful that unschooled parents are able to SEE first-hand how kids are hard-wired to learn.

More below :)

Create Reminders for Yourself and Your Kids

Sometimes we need visual reminders that we’re trying to focus on gratitude. If you’re like me, it sounds good, but then you forget!

So how about printing out cards or notes and taping them up on the bathroom mirror? Pick one out at the grocery store next time. Inspire Yourself!
Screensavers on your phone/computer instead of printing - that way you see them every time you pick up your phone. Saving your favorite social media photos works too!
A Gratitude Jar where you simply get in the habit of writing down one good thing that happened each day…. And then read them at the end of year, or the month. Keep it on the counter so you see it - and keep little scraps of paper nearby too to it’s easy to write something quickly.
Hang some wind chimes you can pass and touch. The sound can help you remember to be grateful.
Buy new scented candles specifically to remind you of focusing on gratitude.
Start a modified gratitude Journal on your phone - a running list of what you’re grateful for. Sometimes doing something really convenient will make you more likely to continue.

So Instead of thinking,

“I’d like to do that... someday,”

I want you to try one of the Gratitude Activities listed here, or over at Pinterest!

Or if you join my Membership Group , we’re focusing on Gratitude all month long! It’s so good to make changes right along other people doing something similar! You should join us over there!

I have over 300 resources associated with gratitude over at the Unschooling Mom2Mom Pinterest boards . It’s worth checking out.

Remember, Gratitude isn’t just for November. It’s important all year. And it's not just for us parents! So often people complain that kids seem ungrateful. But are you modeling gratitude? Maybe that's how to shift everyone's attitude. When we start being really open about our own gratitude, we can help them create gratitude practices too.

So that’s it for me - enjoy your unschooling adventure with your family.
Reach out if you need extra help - and we’ll talk again next week.

Unschooling Guide: Gratitude

If you're looking for specific tools to help you and the kids focus on gratitude, this is the Guide for you! Over 20 pages of why - and more importantly HOW - to reap the benefits of gratitude! I doesn't have to be a gigantic effort, just some little shifts.

The Path to Unschooling: How to Know When You’re Ready to Start

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 22:19:09 GMT

Thinking about unschooling but feel like you’re supposed to “try everything else first”?

You’re not alone. Many parents hesitate because of fear, judgment, or misinformation from the homeschooling community — but you don’t have to wait until you’re frustrated or burned out.

In this episode, Sue Patterson from Unschooling Mom2Mom shares how to unpack those fears, separate facts from gossip, and start trusting yourself — and your kids — sooner.

Podcast Transcript:

Hey there, it’s Sue Patterson, and welcome back to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

Today I want to talk to the part of you that’s wondering...

“Should I choose unschooling if I haven’t tried everything else? Shouldn’t I try the other options first? ”

Like...
“I haven’t done enough with Charlotte Mason methods.”
“Maybe the right app or workbook is out there. I just need to dive a little deeper”
“What if I just need to tweak the schedule a little more?”

I get it. I’ve been there.

Unschooling can feel like the last stop on the homeschooling train — like something you only try when you’re out of other options.

I used to think that too.

I kept thinking maybe I just hadn’t found the right mix of structure yet.
Or the right curriculum.
Or the right online platform.
Because unschooling felt...a little too out there.
A little too free.
A little scary.

But here’s what I wish someone had said to me back then:

You don’t have to exhaust every other method before you say yes to natural learning.

You don’t need to wait until you’re frustrated or burned out.
You don’t need to prove that the “schooly” way won’t work.

Unschooling isn’t extreme.
It’s not radical.
It’s human.

It’s how we all learn — when we’re curious, supported, and not being pushed.

And when we give our kids that freedom?
Something beautiful unfolds — in them and in us.

Let’s pause here for a second.

If part of you is hesitating — if you find yourself holding back — it might be worth asking why .

Sometimes what’s holding us back isn’t a lack of information.
It’s the noise around us — from Facebook groups, from well-meaning friends, from that lady in the co-op - or even from our own inner critic.

Do you need more information?
Have people in your homeschooling community mischaracterized unschooling?
Do you feel a little embarrassed to show up and say,
“Um, yeah, I am one of those kinds of homeschoolers. Or… I might be.”

If so, you’re not alone.

We’ve all been there — balancing curiosity and fear, trying to find our footing in a world that doesn’t quite get what we’re doing.

Here’s something to try:
When a worry comes up, ask yourself,

“Do I know this to be true, or have I just heard gossip?”

Because there’s a lot of hearsay out there — about kids missing out, not learning enough, not getting into college.

But the reality?
Those fears don’t hold up when you look at the facts.
And I can say that because if I haven’t personally walked through that fear myself, I’ve helped hundreds of parents who have.

If you want real answers — about transcripts, college, gaps, critics — I’ve laid it all out for you on the Unschooling Mom2Mom website .

So if you’re feeling drawn to unschooling — even if you’re not sure you’re “ready” — I want you to know:

�� You are ready enough.
�� You don’t need to try all the other things first.
�� You’re allowed to start here.

And if you’d like a space to unpack these thoughts with other parents who get it , I’d love to have you join us in the Creating Confidence Membership .

It’s where we work through these same worries, ask honest questions, and remind each other that we’re doing okay — even when we’re still figuring things out.

You can find the link in the show notes. I'm about to walk into a coaching call after I finish this! We do 2 live calls each week - community members and me, getting answers, brainstorming, growing our confidence.

Podcast listeners have a special link to skip the SignUp fee and just start with the month-to-month membership. Be sure to check the notes to get that!

Thanks for listening today.
I’m really glad you’re here. You can have the life you want - I want to help you get that.
See you next time. ��

How to Start a Gaming Club: Building Community Through Play

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 13:30:01 GMT

There’s a persistent myth that games are isolating, that players sit alone in dark rooms staring at screens. But games have always been about connection . Whether it’s laughing over a board game, teaming up in Minecraft, or swapping stories about your latest D&D campaign, play creates powerful social bonds.

This post was created in collaboration with GameSchoolCon , a weekend-long celebration of learning through play , where gaming families, homeschoolers, and curious learners come together to connect, discover new games, and build community through shared play. This is part of a two-part series of blogs about gaming clubs and community.

On Unschooling Mom2Mom, we are covering how to start a club.
On GameSchoolCon, we are covering why gaming clubs are a good idea and how games create community .

Starting a gaming club gives everyone a space to share their interests, make friends, and build confidence in social interactions. This blog post walks you through, step by step, how to create your own gaming club, no matter the form it takes.

When we value what lights them up, we show them that their choices matter.
And then we help them figure out how to make it work!
~Sue Patterson

Step 1: Define Your Club’s Focus

The first step is deciding what kind of games your club will feature. A “gaming club” can mean many things, from board games to tabletop games to video games and more. What’s important is to pick a focus that you're passionate about and understand well enough to help others.

Board Game Club :

Pros
Great for all ages, especially younger kids.
Easy to run, with minimal need to accommodate different skill levels due to the constant rotation of games.
Offers lots of face-to-face interaction.
Cons
Takes up space with an extensive collection of board games and other items, unless you stick to a few games.
Everyone starts fresh, so be prepared to explain the rules.

Video Game Club :

Pros
Easy to coordinate online.
Cooperative games encourage teamwork, and competitive games encourage mutual improvement.
Digital focus means that every game fits on one device.
Cons
In-person gaming clubs may need to haul heavy equipment to play.
Video games and consoles are expensive.

Tabletop Roleplaying Club (like Dungeons & Dragons):

Pros
Builds creativity, storytelling, and collaboration.
A hit with teens who love world-building and imagination.
The imaginative nature lets you play with extremely minimal tools and equipment.
Cons
Tabletop RPGs are very hard, testing literacy, math, and awareness skills, making them hard for younger kids.
High learning curve; it might take unfamiliar players a while to understand.

Trading Card Game (TCG) Club:

Pros
Multiple ways to engage allow people to come to collect, trade, and compete.
Every person brings their own tools to play (cards), rather than needing to do it all themselves.
Collecting and trading gives a physical reminder of your time spent with others.
Cons
If someone lacks cards, they are unable to play and engage without borrowing some.
Much harder to capture the same fun online without the ability to trade and collect physical cards.

These are just a few examples, but you do not have to bind yourself to any one format. If you know what your community is looking for, a mixed-media club that engages with different types of games might also work. It’s up to you to define your focus.

If you’re starting a club at a school, library, or community center, consider the space, access to technology, and the size of your group. Keep in mind that younger kids may prefer simpler, fast-paced games, while teens often enjoy longer sessions and games that test their skills and knowledge.

Step 2: Find Your Space and Support

A gaming club doesn’t have to be fancy, but having a consistent meeting place makes all the difference. Look for options such as:

Local libraries or community centers
Game stores (many are open to hosting free community events)
Someone’s home or garage with space for tables and chairs

If you’re working with minors, make sure there’s always adult supervision and that the environment is safe and welcoming. Post clear expectations about kindness, inclusivity, and respect, the heart of every great game group. Snacks always go a long way, too!

Step 3: Invite Members (Even if You’re Shy)

Starting a club can feel intimidating, especially for teens who already deal with social anxiety .
But remember, everyone there shares your interests. That’s the magic of games. They give you built-in icebreakers.

Try one or more of these approaches to get started:

Ask around. Tell friends, classmates, or parents you’re starting a gaming club and see who’s interested.
Make a flyer or social media post. Include meeting time, location, and what kinds of games you’ll play.
Start small. Even three or four people are enough to begin playing. Those people might invite others to play, expanding your club.

If you’re anxious about reaching out, start by connecting online, such as a small Discord server or group chat for your area. You can transition to in-person meetups when people feel ready.

Step 4: Find Your Equipment

“Equipment” in this context is a catch-all term for any items needed for your club to function. While we cannot cover every type of equipment, as that will change based on your club's focus and what the venue offers. Here are some broad categories to look out for when selecting your equipment.

Furniture and Venue Items
Depending on the venue, you might have to provide your own tables, chairs, and other items to make the space around your club comfortable for play.
For gaming clubs with electronic devices, make sure to bring the tools to set up those devices, like extension cords for plugs and charging cables to allow people to charge their own devices
Games
The games you bring can take many different forms. (See: Step 2) A board game club can be as simple as bringing 1 new game each week, or multiple games to enable group play.
You can also encourage others to bring games they want to play to the venue, which will reduce your workload.
Electronic Devices (Phones, Computers, Laptops, Consoles, etc.)
For many types of gaming clubs, having a fair share of electronic devices is critical for play. The amount and type of devices depend on your focus and scope. For example, a video game club might want to have multiple consoles and monitors so multiple people can play at a time.
People can also bring their own devices as well, usually smaller devices like laptops and phones can enable group play, just make sure to provide outlets and chargers!
Snacks and Refreshments
Not a requirement, but gaming can be exhausting, and many kids don't have the time to eat beforehand.
Snacks can be a bonding experience, especially if people bring their own.
Refreshments (at least water) are crucial to staying healthy in long play sessions; nobody wants to be dehydrated hour 3 into a game of Monopoly after all.

Step 5: Keep It Consistent (and Welcoming)

Once you’ve picked your games and started, consistency is key. Choose a regular meeting time, weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly, and stick to it. That reliability helps friendships grow.

Encourage members to:

Bring their favorite games to share
Take turns teaching or hosting
Respect each other’s comfort levels (some players prefer observing before joining in)
Celebrate small wins and teamwork

For teens especially, a gaming club can become a safe, social anchor, a place where showing up feels easy and belonging happens naturally.

Step 6: Be Patient and Persistent

At first, your club might feel small. Maybe only a few people show up, or a meeting feels a little awkward. That’s completely normal. Every great community starts with persistence and patience.

Give your club time to grow. Word of mouth spreads slowly at first, then all at once. Celebrate each new person who joins, even if it’s just one at a time. And don’t shame people for leaving, or taking breaks and coming back. Keep showing up, keep inviting others, and keep creating an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome. You are the role model for the rest of the club.

Building a club isn’t about instant gratification. It’s about consistency, showing that you mean it when you say “everyone’s invited.” And even a small club can be a success in building connections that will stick with you and/or your kids for a lifetime.

Why Gaming Clubs Matter

For many kids and teens, gaming clubs are more than a hobby. They’re a lifeline. They offer a place to belong, express creativity, and connect without the pressure of traditional social settings.

Games naturally foster discussion, shared passion, and time spent together , three ingredients that make friendships stick. Whether you’re rolling dice, building in Minecraft, or solving puzzles side by side, you’re not just playing games; you’re building community.

Want to Keep the Momentum Going?

If your family loves learning through play, check out GameSchoolCon , a one-of-a-kind event where families connect over games, roleplaying, workshops, and community. You’ll find people who believe, just like you, that play is one of the most powerful ways to learn and grow.

Written by Alex Cook for GameSchoolCon. Alex is a grown unschooler, writer, and speaker. He’s a senior in college studying Strategic Communications and loves exploring how games, media, and storytelling shape the way we connect and learn.

More Resources:

GameSchoolCon
Games: Unschooling Favorites

Unschooling and Technology

Unschooling and Play

"But I Want a Checklist!"

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 15:57:53 GMT

TL;DR — Why We Still Want Those Checklists (and What To Do Instead)

Checklists feel safe because our brains equate structure with survival.
That “safety” is short-lived; focusing on structure drains energy and connection.
The brain’s self-criticism isn’t guidance—it’s a pull back to the familiar.
Swap “box-checking” for quick connection checks: Are we calm? Curious? Connected?
Start small: use the Unschooling Mom2Mom resources to save time

Read Podcast Transcript
↓

Hello, it’s Sue Patterson from Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast . I’m back with another unschooling pep talk to help you understand more about unschooling, why you might feel a little resistant to it, and some ideas to help you move past your obstacles. Unschooling works - it might take a little reframing on your part, but I’m here to do it with you.

So during a recent group coaching call, we got into a conversation that really stuck with me — about checklists.

You know that satisfying feeling of checking a box? ☑️

We all know it. We were raised in it. It’s how we measured progress, how we earned approval, and how we made sure we were “doing it right.”

But when you step into unschooling, that entire system of validation doesn’t really fit anymore… and that can feel unsettling.

The Search for the Perfect Checklist

What I hear from moms are things like:

“It’s just hard to look creatively at something when you’re distracted because you want to get back to checking a box.”
“All this playtime, it’s not on the ToDo list.”

And I get that.

Because we were raised to believe check boxes equal success — gold stars, completed assignments, permission to relax.

So we became really good “Box Checkers.” We had reasons for it that seemed to make sense:

Life is busy and checklists help us feel like we’re keeping up.
We’ve been told, directly or indirectly, that we can’t be trusted to just wing it.
We were rewarded for compliance, not creativity. For being productive, not being connected. Nobody valued our connections - they certainly didn’t show up on a checklist.

So we cling to boxes because they feel like proof — proof we’re doing enough, that our kids are learning, that we haven’t gone off the rails, that we’re not failing.

The Problem — Unschooling Doesn’t Have Boxes.

The Catch: Why We Still Crave Checklists

But here’s the catch: unschooling doesn’t come with boxes to check.
Each family’s days look completely different.

Even if you built your own checklist, it would probably change by next week — maybe even tomorrow — because kids shift interests, life happens, and you evolve too.

And... the reality of it all: Most of us are tired. Parenting is relentless.
Sure, we get bursts of energy, but for the most part we’re running on fumes.

Because of our conditioning, we start thinking,
“If I just had the right checklist, I wouldn’t have to hold everything in my head.”

But then those goalposts keep moving.

Kids change directions. Our energy rarely matches theirs.

So what do we do?
We retreat a little... We start building structure to feel “on track,” or we go searching for one that fits.

But the deeper we get into unschooling, the harder it is to find.

There aren’t curriculum checklists anymore — and that can feel disorienting.

Even the kids’ requests to play can start to feel like distractions from the imaginary checklist we think we should be building.

If we’ve walked away from measuring by standards and subjects, does that mean we’ve walked away from measuring success altogether?
We end up floundering — distracted from the life unfolding right in front of us.

Oh Those Brains of Ours!

And I want to mention, because this is contributing to all the confusion on what our next steps should be:

When things feel chaotic, our brains go into survival mode. They're actually adding obstacles — trying to get us back in line, to stay with what’s familiar, to bring us “back to safety.”

They crave something to control — a checklist, a routine, a structure — and it will do whatever it takes to try to win the argument in your head.

�� It will point out all the times you relaxed instead of worked on chores.

�� It will remind you of how you played on your phone before starting dinner and then time got away from you.
�� It will tell you that you don't know enough, so you should read one more research article.
�� It will tell you that the kids’ needs are keeping you from that checklist you should be building!

This inner critic doing it’s own checklist of where we come up short, sabotaging your confidence.
And we can’t hide from that voice in our own head.

It’s not meant to harm us — it’s our brain’s way of saying, “
Come back to what we know.
Come back to the patterns that used to work - or that everyone else is doing.”

Our brains insist, “A good checklist will save you — from the chaos, from yourself, from distractions.”
But part of us knows that even if we comply and pour our energy into building structure, it won’t last.
We won’t follow it, the kids won’t comply — and then that realization just drains us further.
We just don’t know how to fix all this.

Let's Find Solutions

So we have to recognize that voice for what it is — we are not failures, this is just fear of the unknown.

When we can reframe that, it will help loosen the grip that those fears have on us. It puts a little wiggle room in there, when we can see it and say:

"oh... there it is. That’s what’s happening.

I don’t need to scrap this whole thing, declare myself a bad parent, a flop as an unschooler.

It’s just fear of the unknown. I'm just feeling my way through all this unfamiliar territory. "

And then... what if instead of checking boxes, we started checking connection points throughout the day?

Asking yourself: “Have I connected with my child today?”

→ Maybe divide your day into blocks — morning, afternoon, evening - and be sure to touch base.

Because those connection points are where the learning shows up — in their questions, their ideas, their moods, their creativity.
That’s your real data. Yes, they’re unpredictable. But when you know that, you’re not blindsided. And it will actually simplify your approach to all of this.

From Checklists to Curiosity

Still, we’re creatures of habit, right?

And as we move in this direction, we could maybe use some tools that help us really individualize the experiences, the day-to-day lives we’re living. If you’re really connected to checkboxes, change what you’re putting on the list.

Instead of saying, “math, or spelling or reading” move toward checkboxes of places to go or things to do WITH your kids that they’d enjoy - this week. One week at a time. How can you sparkle up their WORLD a little more?

We have worksheets etched into our brains from all those years of school. But those are not the only LEGIT ways to learn. They’re not even the best ways.

Leaning toward your kids will give you clues as to what they like, what they might be willing to try, and what’s something you don’t want to do.

3 Unschooling Tools

SO I created some resources to help you - because you’ve maybe forgotten what else is going on that’s NOT schooly.

— Not as boxes to check, but as ideas you can pull to the front of your brain.

Where you can say,

“Oh yeah! They’re doing that in our community this weekend!”

“We can do that on Thursday, that’s a good day for it.”

or “

Maybe we can swing by there on our way home from the appointment on Wednesday.”

So you’re not forcing a plan, you’re using these kinds of tools as done-for-you ways to remind YOURSELF of possibilities that are happening - possibilities you may have missed because you were so busy creating a structure or lamenting the lack of a particular subject. Those subjects will SHOW UP in these activities. They’ll learn all kinds of things.

All of these tools - and more - are included in the Membership group too. We even meet twice week so you can keep these ideas in the front of your mind and get support from me AND a community of parents. You may need a little help creating this new way of learning and living with the kids...why do it by yourself?

Reframing What Success Looks Like

Success in unschooling isn’t about completing tasks.
It’s about creating a life where curiosity, connection, and joy guide the rhythm.

We grew up believing productivity equals value. But in real life — and in real learning — growth is messy, nonlinear, and often invisible at first.

What if we measured success by how relaxed our homes feel?
By how much laughter shows up in a day?
By how many new questions our kids ask — even the weird ones?

Aren’t these really what matters most?

Wrapping Up

So if you catch yourself needing to “check the boxes,” pause and ask — what am I really looking for?

Reassurance? Structure? Proof?

You can have those things — just in new forms. Through reflection, connection, and trust.

Remember: you can be trusted.
Your child can be trusted.

The boxes were never the point.

Living a full, curious life — it takes a little courage — but that’s the real accomplishment.

Happy Unschooling! Enjoy your week. And I’ll be back to talk with you again soon!

"I wish people knew they could really grow their confidence unschooling AND make it fit THEIR family - all by joining Sue's Membership group! I'm sooo glad I did that!"

"That's why I've been in the group for YEARS!"
~Creating Confidence Members

Creative Whiteboard Ideas for Everyday Unschooling

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 12:53:41 GMT

The Unsung Hero of Unschooling: The Whiteboard

Whiteboards are one of my favorite unschooling tools — simple, flexible, and endlessly reusable. You don’t have to turn them into a rigid planner; think of them as creativity surfaces that shift as your family’s days unfold.

✏️ 1. For New or Reluctant Readers

Keep a whiteboard near where your child hangs out and let them write words they already know — words like “exit,” “subscribe,” “hot,” “cold,” names of family members, etc. Or if writing isn't their thing, you can write the words for them. You’ll see their confidence bloom as their word wall grows. Over time, they’ll start spotting those same words everywhere — in books, games, signs — and realize how much they can already read!
Be enthusiastic: "OOOH! You know that word? Let's add that it to the Whiteboard!"

�� 2. The “Idea Wall”

When someone says, “We should go there!” or “Let’s try that next week,” add it to the Idea Wall.
No one’s suggestion gets lost, and everyone feels heard. You can glance back later when you’re planning your week or deciding on an outing — instant validation that everyone’s ideas matter and adventures are waiting!

��️ 3. Strewing Calendar Fun Facts

Is it Talk Like a Pirate Day? International Dolphin Day? Maybe National Pizza Day?
Write it on the whiteboard with a couple of random facts — and let it spark curiosity. What do dolphins dream about? Where did pirates really bury treasure? What toppings make the perfect pizza? Suddenly, everyday trivia turns into organic learning (and dinner inspiration). If you need Strewing Calendar Ideas, I've got a great tool for you!

Whiteboards can become living,

breathing reminders of curiosity and connection

— not To-Do lists, but To-Notice lists.

Easy and Fun!

15 More Whiteboard Ideas

�� Idea Generation & Creativity Boosters

Word Storms:
Start with one word (like “adventure” or “water” ) and branch off into every connected word or idea that comes to mind. Pick a word for the day - look around for easy inspiration! How about something connected to Autumn?
What If...Wall:
Write prompts like “What if people could live underwater?” or “What if our house was upside down and we walked on the ceilings? ” What funny descriptions would these ideas prompt? Record their ideas!
Create Mind Maps:
Choose a topic (like space , music , friendship, October ) and draw connecting lines outward for related thoughts, questions, or interests.
Random Object Challenge:
Pick three random words or objects (e.g., banana , clock , cloud ) and brainstorm how they could fit together in a story, invention, or skit. Come together at lunch to tell the story you made up.
Curiosity Corner:
A section for “Things I Wonder...” where everyone can add questions that pop up during the week.

�� Collaborative & Visual Play

Doodle Relay:
One person draws a random shape; the next person turns it into something recognizable. Keep adding layers!
Color-Code Categories:
Use different colors for ideas , questions , resources , and next steps — makes the chaos feel organized.
Or use each person in the family gets their own color of pen! (Pro tip: keep back-ups!)
Inspiration Board:
Paste or tape printed words, doodles, or magazine cutouts alongside whiteboard writing for a mixed-media brainstorming collage. Start with a theme or see what they come up with!

�� Decision Making & Planning

Pros/Cons Grid:
Divide the board into two columns to brainstorm options for a big choice (like family trip ideas or project themes ).
Goal Ladder:
Write a dream at the top (“Start a YouTube channel”) and work downward with steps to get there.
Weekly Wonder Plan:
At the start of each week, jot everyone’s ideas for what they’d like to explore, make, or learn.

�� Reflection & Connection

“We Tried...” Wall:
Record experiments, recipes, art techniques, or activities you tried — and note what you’d tweak next time.
Or divide into 2 columns: �� Thumbs up - " that was fun!" or �� Thumbs Down - "let's never do THAT again!"
Gratitude Grid:
Leave space to jot quick moments of appreciation — big or small — from your week. Did someone do something kind for you? Perfect place to give a shout out!
“Spark Tracker”
Note ideas that really caught someone’s curiosity this week. Use them later for deeper projects.
Riddles
Perfect for new readers! Can they guess it? Put a new one up every day!

No Handy Whiteboard?

Maybe you have sliding glass door? Most likely you have a window!
Grab a few water-based pens and *ta-da* you've created your own "whiteboard!"

When You Start to Doubt Unschooling, Try This Simple Spiral Trick

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 23:59:50 GMT

�� How to Use a Spiral Notebook for Unschooling Mindset Shifts

Steps:

Grab a simple spiral notebook. Nothing fancy — just one you’ll actually use.
Write your successes in the front. Include small wins: laughter, curiosity, connection, conversations.
Write your fears in the back. Get the swirling thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
Look at both. Remind yourself what’s working — and which fears need information or support.
Repeat weekly. Watch your confidence grow as fear quiets down and clarity builds.

I'm starting a new series: Weekly Unschooling Tips!

And this one comes from my Membership Group. It really helps when doubts get the better of you. Like most of unschooling, success lies in the prep work! Getting the stage set, anticipating what could happen... all important factors! Same for this!

We All Have Those Moments

Even the most confident unschooling parents hit a wall sometimes.
A bad day (or week) can make you question everything —

“Maybe I should just send them back to school.”
“We’re not doing enough.”
What if I’m messing this up?”

You're not the only one with these thoughts!

But before you spiral into panic, grab an actual spiral.

�� Watch the Quick Video

If you’d rather listen than read,
here’s the 1-minute version of this post .

�� Sue's Spiral Notebook Trick

Here’s what I suggest — it’s simple but surprisingly powerful.

1️⃣ Write your successes in the front.
Record the small wins — the moments that went right, the laughter, the connection, the spark of curiosity, conversations that remind you that they're learning and growing.
I KNOW you think you'll remember them all, but trust me, you'll forget.
And you'll especially likely to forget when you're having one of those middle-of-the-night panic attacks (or Friday afternoon disappointment that you didn't get to everything you wanted to do!)
When you’re discouraged, it’s easy to forget the good things!
So make yourself write them down.

2️⃣ Write your fears in the back.
Let the worries out of your head and onto paper.
Seeing them written down helps you separate what’s real from what’s just anxiety talking.

Sometimes, you’ll notice a fear that’s not realistic ( “If they don't change things, they’ll end up living under a bridge!”) .
Other times, it’ll point to something you need more information or support for —
and that’s something you can actually do something about.

Did you know I have Unschooling Guides on 20 of the most common things parents worry about?
I gathered years of info into one mini-magazine with tips, essays, and guidance. They're here.

Why This Spiral Idea Works

This little exercise helps you get out of the emotional storm and back to clarity.
It keeps you from reacting to fear — or from reaching for curriculum you don’t really need —
and reminds you how much learning is already happening in your home.

The act of writing slows your thoughts down.
It gives you distance from the overwhelm.
And it brings you back to what matters most: connection, not control.

Want Help Working Through Those Fears?

Inside the Creating Confidence Membership , we talk about this exact practice — and hundreds of others — every week.

You’ll find:
�� Live group coaching calls 2x/week!
�� Supportive parent WhatsApp chat (where you learn how you're not alone!)
�� A full library of guides, replays, and mindset tools

You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Come see what happens when you build confidence with others walking the same path.

Why “School at Home” Fails—and How to Pivot to Unschooling

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 14:51:49 GMT

Homeschool Struggles? How to Switch to Unschooling with Confidence

Many parents start homeschooling with the best intentions, only to find themselves frustrated when ‘school at home’ quickly unravels. If you’ve been wondering why your plan isn’t working, you’re not alone. In this episode and transcript, Sue Patterson shares why traditional methods break down—and how to pivot toward unschooling with confidence, connection, and real learning.

What You’ll Learn

Why “school at home” often collapses (and what to do instead)
How kids pick up reading, writing, and math through real life
Simple ways to respond when screens or boredom take over
A mindset check to quiet the “I’m failing” voice
What “letting kids lead” really looks like (partnership, not passivity)

Q&A Highlights

Should I pivot or stick with my current plan?
What does “child-led” learning mean in practice?
How do I know if my child is “falling behind”?
Is resistance a sign of laziness—or something else?
How do I balance my expectations with my child’s needs?

Podcast Transcript:

A lot of parents tell me their first weeks of homeschooling feel shaky — like they’ve already messed it up before they’ve even started. If that’s you, you’re in the right place. I’m Sue Patterson, and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. After decades of unschooling my own three kids and helping thousands of families, I’m here to reassure you: it doesn’t have to look like school to count as real learning. Let’s dive in.

When you first start homeschooling

— or even just thinking about unschooling — you probably have a picture in your mind of how it’s going to look. Maybe you’ve set up a little desk, or you bought some colorful curriculum packages. You’ve sketched out schedules, you’ve imagined how your child will happily cooperate.

And then — reality shows up.

Your child says no. Or they roll their eyes. Or they’d rather play outside, or build Legos, or watch YouTube. Suddenly, all your planning feels shaky.

You’re thinking, “Did I make a mistake? This is not what I thought it would look like”

That shaky start is so common. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human.But also, something else.

Why Plans Fall Apart

Plans collapse quickly because they’re usually based on what we think school is SUPPOSED to look like. We’re carrying all those school memories and expectations — and sometimes pressure from grandparents, neighbors, or our own inner critic.

But our kids didn’t sign up for “school at home.” They didn’t raise their hands and say, “Yes, I’d like 7 subjects lined up with tests on Friday.”

For example, I remember trying to bring in spelling lists early on. My daughter Katie had an enormous capacity for memorizing. Part of her neurodiversity, actually, being on the spectrum. But she wanted nothing to do with any rote lists I would come up with. That “school-y” part wasn’t going to work. But later, when she was a young teen, she started writing fan fiction and realized how important spelling was. She figure it out. She had me help proof. She started to see patterns and her spelling took off. The context made all the difference.

So if your careful plans are falling flat, it’s not because you’re a bad parent. It’s because you’re discovering what actually fits your child.

The Tension Parents Feel

And here’s where the tension shows up. You want your child to learn. You want to prove this decision is working. And when it doesn’t look like the plan, your instinct is to clamp down. To “fix it.”

But unschooling asks something different: it asks you to pause, to listen, and to trust.

My son Michael is a great example. He didn’t learn his times tables in the traditional way. When he was in school, timed tests freaked him out. He’d spend the whole time staring at the timer. So when I brought hm home, I thought, nope. Not doing that. He learned math skills like times tables from playing video games and needed to count quicker. It kept crossing his path so it was useful for him. And, we played a lot of Multiplication Rock songs back the. Do you remember those?

I did put up a times table chart in the bathroom, so they’d see it. But honestly, I don’t think they really consulted it while they were in there. It didn’t stop any of them from any kind of more advanced math.

Michael got his MBA- even Magna Cum Laude passing Algebra and Statistics in College with As.
Alyssa runs a million dollar business with payrolls and inventories.

And Katie is actually my bookkeeper. So all three of them don’t avoid math in their lives - and it isn’t really weighted as more important than anything else. But they didn’t memorize their times tables - and they’re perfectly ok.

So that tension that you might be feeling— “that worry that they’re not keeping up with what feels familiar for kids to learn at certain ages” — it’s all rooted in school thinking, not real learning. It’s about being successful in school. Not being successful as adults.

How to Reframe Your Shaky Start

So how do you move through the shaky starts that happen in September?

See the kids’ resistance as feedback. If your child is pushing back, it’s information. It’s not a sign of failure — it’s data.
Observe instead of tightening the control. What are they choosing when you step back? That’s where their energy is.
Notice what you’re saying to yourself about all of this. “They’re uncooperative.” “They don’t appreciate me.”“My mom was right, this is a bad idea.” “I’m not good at this.”
So then when you have those thoughts clarified, let’s check the validity:

They’re uncooperative - where do you see more cooperation? What could they be trying to tell me about how they learn best?

They don’t appreciate me” That’s not their job. That’s YOUR job. You’re the one who has to look in the mirror and like your choices. School taught you to always look for approval and maybe not you’re transferring that to your kids. The good new is, this is in YOUR power. You can remind yourself of all the good things you’re doing, and talk to yourself as you would a friend. List off all the things you’re doing right. Also…getting appreciation from kids - that’s something all parents complain about. Not just homeschoolers and unschoolers. It could have to do with that People Pleasing I was talking about - or maybe you need to cultivate a culture of gratitude in your home. I actually have an unschooling guide about this that I sell in November, but since we’re talking about it now, I’ll put that back in the shop for you.

Unschooling Guide: Gratitude

“My mom was right, this was a bad idea.” The first thing to do is to remind yourself that YOU are the grown up here. You are your child’s advocate. YOu don’t have to do what your parents tell you to do any more - you’re not a child. And they don’t get a vote in your adult life. You’ve learned some things along the way AND the world is a different place than when they were raising kids. So 2 things to counter that: Make a list of your reasons WHY this is a good idea. Why is this the best choice for your kids or for your family? And if you want to go deeper, the Unschooling Guide about dealing with Critics has a lot of really great scripts to use, and ideas to to explore - all to get you on steadier ground when dealing with ANYONE who’s a critic - friends, family, spouse, even your own inner critic.

Unschooling Guide: Critics

“I’m not good at this.” Starting something new is messy. Most people don’t begin new things with completely formed skill sets. I can tell you from my own experience - where you start isn’t where you’re going to end up. We learn along the way - about ourselves, about our kids, about how people learn, about how people react to coercion and control. And we make adjustments along the way. Listening to podcasts like this, but also learning more about how unschooling works, what deschooling is. This will help you move through the hard part quicker. You probably need more than a weekly podcast peptalk. I have an Unschooling 101 course , and a course about learning math without curriculum.

Unschooling Courses here (101, Math, Transcripts, + All the Guides)

I have ALL the Unschooling Guides available to you - the price is slashed this month so if you’re a DIY person, this is probably for you. But maybe self-discipline isn’t your strong suite and you need a group of parents to do this with… or more coaching from me each week. That’s where the membership comes in. I’ll put a link to the options for that too. The Annual Membership is still on sale for a few more days, or you could do it month to month.

Just remember, this shaky start is really just the first draft. You get to revise as you go. Rough drafts are always messy. The important part is noticing, adjusting, and staying connected to your child. DO not think of this as being behind — you may just need to pivot. YOur choices may have sounded good, but they’re not fitting the real live people in your family. This is a process of learning how to learn together. The only real roadmap is being tuned into what’s happening around you and adjusting accordingly. It’s not about checking boxes in a curriculum, or copying what someone else says is the right thing to do. YOU are the one standing there looking at your child. YOU know them best. You just have to open up to ideas that maybe you haven’t considered before.

So, I’m going to do something a little different with this podcast. Typically, we’d stop right there - about the 10 minute mark. And for some of you, that’s enough of a peptalk and you’re ready for your week!

But I’d like to talk about some of the concerns and issues that have popped up pertaining to this Shaky September. I did a podcast calle that a couple of years ago, I’ll link it, but it prompted more questions. I thought I’d share some of the most common ones I hear from parents. Let’s tackle a few.

Before we go...
So if you’re feeling shaky, remember: beginnings are always messy. The important part is noticing, adjusting, and staying connected to your child. You’re not behind — you’re simply in the process of learning how to learn together.

And because I know a lot of questions come up right at this stage, I thought I’d share some of the most common ones I hear from parents. Let’s tackle a few.

Unschooling Questions & Answers

Q1: “How do I know whether to stick with my original homeschool plan or change it when things aren’t going well?”

Super common question. But most of us start out with a really organized plan that looks great on paper — but then real life, and real kids, step in. The moment you notice that your child is resisting, that you’re dreading the day, or that learning feels like a tug-of-war, that’s a sign it’s time to adjust. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re paying attention. Your’e not just pushing through because you have a scope and sequence that has to be completed. Lots of people LEFT school because they felt like the kids were just cogs in a wheel. Let’s not do that at home too. You don’t have to - at all.

Think of it as data: your child is giving you feedback. In unschooling, the ability to pivot is a strength, not a weakness.

Q2: “What does letting kids lead really look like — especially when I feel like everything’s falling apart?”

Letting kids lead doesn’t mean you disappear into the other part of the house or become passive. It means you observe what they’re naturally drawn to and then you support it. If your child spends the whole week building with Legos, that’s not “wasted time.” That’s engineering, storytelling, problem-solving. It looks messy from the outside, but it’s powerful learning. Your role is to connect resources, add variety, and cheer them on — not to drag them back to a plan that isn’t working.
This can happen with playing video games, or make believe, or all kinds of things. They’re showing your their interests. Lean toward it so you can see what they like about it, where the learning is hiding - because it’s in there! That’s why we say things like “stop referring to their use of technology as “just screentime.” It’s so much more than that! They’re learning to read, to do math, they’re learning about other civilizations and history. They’re learning how to interact with other people, how to lead and how to persevere.

But you won’t know that if you dismissively say,
“All they do is screentime.” �� That’s YOUR red flag to see what that actually means.

I did a whole webinar on Technology , if you want to go watch that. Or you can grab the Unschooling Guide aout Technology if you need some additional tools and you’re ready to tackle this. We spend a lot of time talking about this in my Membership Group, so even if you just come for a couple of months, it might help.

Q3: “But what about the basics — math, reading, writing? Won’t my kids fall behind if we don’t make those a priority right away?”

This is the one that keeps parents up at night. And I get it — because we’ve all been told school is the only way to master those basics. But here’s the radical shift: kids learn the basics in everyday life.
Math shows up in cooking, in gaming, in budgeting allowance money.
Reading comes alive when kids care about the content — whether that’s game instructions, recipes, or a favorite graphic novel.
Writing grows out of purpose: texting friends, creating stories, making lists.
None of this requires a rigid curriculum to “cover the bases.”

Often, when I’m talking to parents in places like the Unschooling mom2mom Facebook group, someone will say, “Unschooling is great but certainly you don’t mean to blow off reading and math. MY kids need to be prepared to go out into the world - and that means the basics - at least reading and math - are a requirement.”

Here’s the thing, I never said I don’t value reading or math. I never said that unschoolers don’t learn reading and math. I’m just saying you don’t have to go about it like they do in school. When you’re creating a full rich unschooling life, you’re reading to them, you’re mentioning that that billboard sign you just drove past starts with the same letter that starts their name, you’re putting a grocery list up on the fridge or maybe even the Strewing Calendar. WORDS are in their lives. And that’s the foundation, the pre-reading pile of knowledge that is going to help them move toward reading. It works the same for math. You’re helping them build their own data that will support learning to read and learning math. So I’m not saying “Do nothing, it will all work out.” I mean, truthfully, it probably would. Because as humans moving through our days, we do need to read and do math. And that’s the biggest catalyst for learning it: NEEDING it. Arbitrary, “Some day you’ll need this...” falls flat and sometimes isn’t even true.

Yes, of course I have a Reading and Math Unschooling Guide. I even have a really awesome Unschooling Math without Curriculum course - that can help you SEE where all the math is throughout your day - and how to make that the focus, instead of some curriculum. But it’s all about noticing and maybe doing a few things within your home to make it more math or reading-rich.

Unschooling Course: Learning Math WITHOUT Curriculum

But the other part of that question is “won’t my kids fall behind?”
And my question is “fall behind who?” When you’re individualizing the learning for your child, they’re not in some comparison trap. There’s no bell curve, no class ranking. They’re in a class of one. They’re not competing with themselves, they’re simply adding more knowledge and growth every day.

If you’re worried about “don’t all 8 year olds need to learn their times tables?” or don’t all 12 year olds need to memorize the parts of speech?” The quick answer is, “no.” They don’t. They can learn it when they need it. If it’s important, they WILL need it… and it will make sense to them to learn it. No resistance, no power struggle. They’ll want whatever it is that knowing those things provides - so they’ll have the motivation to learn it.

So, if you’re worried about “falling behind,” do a little more deschooling. I have a ton of resources at the website on Deschooling - and even an entire YouTube playlist about Deschooling. We did a 30 day Deschooling Challenge in the membership that’s still available, so even more resources there. It’s important to shift away from the schooly mindset of all the students being standardized, everyone being led through the exact same material - as if one size fits all. We know that’s not the best way. So let’s not hang onto those ideas and keep making comparisons to a system we’re not part of.

Instead, look back 6 months.

What can they do now that they couldn’t before?

Not even necessarily from an academic standpoint. That’s just one piece.

How are they moving through the world differently?

NOTICE their progress. PAY ATTENTION to what you could do to make their lives fuller,, richer, and give opportunities for more growth that fits THEM - not some system that isn’t even a factor in your life anymore.

Q4: “What if my child resists everything I suggest? Doesn’t that mean they’ll never learn discipline?”

Resistance usually tells us more about the fit than the child. If what you’re offering feels irrelevant or forced, kids push back — and honestly, we do too as adults. Think about being asked to take on a project at work that feels pointless — you’d drag your feet too. Instead of doubling down, try offering choices or shifting the environment. Discipline doesn’t grow out of compliance; it grows from self-motivation, from the experience of following their own curiosity and seeing it through.

And I think most people really know this. That’s why they say things like, “KIds need to learn to have grit.” It’s just that we don’t have to teach them that. They learn it when they want to get something they don’t have the skillset for yet. They suddenly have the motivation. We see it all the time on kids leveling up on the video games. They’re frustrated. They get mad. Then they go back to it and try again. That’s grit. This happens in lots of different areas where kids are playing. They’re building and then rebuilding.

Where I think parents get off course is, they’’re trying to use this grit concept with things THEY want kids to do. But the kids aren’t seeing the point, so they’re resisting. And then the parents see that as a lack of grit. That’s not grit. Grit is internal.

So sometimes, when I’m talking with parents, I’ll tell them that and then they pivot a little. You may have done that just now. YOu may be thinking, “well ok, that makes sense. Maybe it’s not a Grit Thing” but they can’t always have their way. What about when they get a job and the boss says they have to do something and they don’t want to. They’ll be used to always taking the easy route and won’t do it and then they’ll lose their job and blame the boss.”

Have you thought that? Or heard someone say it? It’s really common.

Let’s break it apart.

“They can’t always have their way.” I don’t think anyone says this is happening. We’re still saying things like, “time to get ready to go,” or “can you feed the dog?” or “no, that shirt doesn’t fit anymore, you’re going to have to go change.” The list goes on and on where we have to ask them to do something they don’t really want to do. Sure, we try to “find the yes” in their requests. As the gatekeeper to most things in their lives, that’s just a kinder way to live. But they are not ALWAYS getting their way. That’s just fear with a megaphone in your head. Maybe it’s someone else’s voice - maybe it’s something you heard as a child. Maybe even there’s a little resentment that they’re getting to have such a great life. All of these are things to examine. But they’re not ALWAYS having their way. Notice the reality of that.

And as for that “how will you hold down a job” statement. Maturity is an interesting thing. It allows us to do a cost benefit analysis. We can weigh it out - do we want to keep this job? Do we have bills to pay? Should we quietly start looking for another job? These are the kinds of things our brains can do when we’ve acquired a little more maturity. But we don’t have to make them practice a home environment such that they can have practice “enduring a bad work environment.” If that’s the case, just send them to school for that. So if someone says that to you - that’s really their perspective of school. Practice for a bad work environment where no one listens, you simply do as you’re told, then the bell rings and you go home. My guess is that you’re aspiring for a little more than that.

Q5: “How do I balance my own expectations with what my child actually wants — especially when they’re so far apart?”

This is the heart of the shaky start for many parents. We come in with our hopes, our fears, our timelines. But kids have their own pace and passions. The key is noticing where those expectations come from. Are they from your own school experience? From comparison with neighbors? Or from your child’s actual needs? When you let go of “shoulds,” you make room for collaboration. That doesn’t mean your values disappear — it means you find ways to live them alongside your child, not over them.

Sometimes we hear the word, “Child-Led” and I think you’d do better to replace that with “Partnership Parenting.” Both parents and kids have input but sometimes the parent is leading and sometimes the child is. It all depends on the situation. So you have the top down Authoritarian “My way or the highway.” versus the “Child led, everything is as the child wants.” And successful unschooling is neither of those.

This is maybe why it’s hard. It’s not black and white like that. It’s gray. Lots of gray area, actually. And some days, we’re irritable and that make everything hard for everyone. So what do YOU need as a parent? This will help you set the stage for your kids to be successful. In 12 step programs, they talk about something called HALT. H-A-L-T. Don’t let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. We don’t make good decisions when that is happening - and that goes for parenting too.

Sometimes it REALLY helps to talk with other parents about how they’re navigating all of this. We have our familiar way - or even the story we have created in our heads. But we don’t have a lot of experience with this partnership way. It’s not a switch to flip… it’s a process of learning and unlearning. You have to be patient with yourself and with your child. But you also have to show yourself some other ways that COULD work. Social media can help you with this a little. And My membership group can really help you do that. So I’ll give links in the show notes.

"So if your beginning feels shaky, you’re in good company. Every unschooling family I’ve ever known has had bumps and doubts. The gift is learning to see those moments not as failures, but as invitations — invitations to connect more deeply, to trust more fully, and to remember that learning is happening all around you. Thanks for staying with me through this Q&A. I hope you heard the reassurance you needed today."

Check the shownotes for all the links to additional resources - including our September sales of the Parenting Toolkit and the Annual Membership . It’s all at the website: Unschooling Mom2Mom.com
Enjoy the kids - happy unschooling.

The Unschooling Mom2Mom Parent Toolkit

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 23:00:16 GMT

The Unschooling Mom2Mom Parent Toolkit:

Buy Guides Individually or Grab the Bundle

When families pivot to unschooling, questions pop up fast:

How do kids learn math?
What about record-keeping?
What do I say to critics?

That’s why I created the Unschooling Mom2Mom Parent Toolkit — a collection of 25 step-by-step Unschooling Guides that give you practical solutions to the obstacles every parent faces.

You can grab guides individually for $15-$20 each, or save by buying all 25 in the Parent Toolkit for $249 (instead of $395!)

Listen to the Podcast here

Read PODCAST TRANSCRIPT below...

What's Included in this Unschooling Goldmine?

Each of these is linked if you're interested in them individually.

�� Getting Started

New to Unschooling — A beginner’s roadmap for families making the shift.
Your Unschooling Home — How to set up an environment that sparks curiosity without feeling like school.
Typical Unschooling Day — Realistic daily rhythms to help you picture unschooling life.
Brainstorm Time — Simple strategies for generating ideas with your kids and keeping learning fresh.
Strewing — A parent’s guide to scattering ideas and materials to spark natural curiosity.

�� Academics

Learning to Read — Encouragement and real-life examples for literacy without pressure.
Learning to Write — How writing develops through authentic, everyday use.
Learning Math — Everyday math strategies that make sense (without endless worksheets).

�� Paperwork

Record Keeping — Easy, unschool-friendly ways to document learning.
About Testing — How to navigate required testing and keep stress low.

�� Deschooling

“Am I Doing Enough?” — Reframe the worry and build confidence.
Deschooling — What it looks like, how long it takes, and why it matters.
365 Days of Deschooling — Daily prompts and inspiration for letting go of school-based thinking.

��️ Obstacles

Critics & Naysayers — Confident responses for friends, family, and strangers.
Technology — How to embrace screens as tools, not enemies.
NOT Back-to-School — Surviving the hardest season for doubts and comparisons.
What About Socialization? — The myth-busting guide every parent needs.
Stressed Out — Tips for calming overwhelm and regaining perspective.

�� Seasonal Unschooling

Spring Guide — Fresh activities and learning sparks for the season.
Summer Guide — How to embrace play, projects, and outdoor learning.
Autumn Guide — Cozy, seasonal ways to explore and learn.
Winter Guide — Cold-weather ideas to keep curiosity alive indoors and out.
Gratitude — Family-friendly ways to explore thankfulness year-round.
Holiday Learning — Infuse connection and meaning into the busy holiday season.
Your New Year’s Workbook — A reflective, practical way to reset intentions together.

Why the Toolkit Makes More Sense

If you bought these guides one at a time, you’d spend $395.
With the Toolkit, you’ll have all 25 guides organized, accessible, and ready whenever you hit an obstacle — for just $249!

Because unschooling doesn’t just happen — it grows when parents have the clarity, confidence, and tools to make it work.

Podcast Transcript:

Hey friends, it’s Sue Patterson here. I want to take some time with you today — not just a quick pep talk, but a real conversation — because I’ve been hearing from so many parents lately who are running into the same struggles.

Their plans are unraveling. The kids are resisting. And they’re wondering:
Am I really cut out for this unschooling path?

If you’ve had that thought, let me just say...you’re not alone.

Doubts creep in for all of us. They did for me too, even after years of unschooling. And it’s not because you’re failing, or because your kids aren’t capable. It’s because this is such a different road than the one you were raised to expect.

That’s actually why, over the years, I’ve created so many Unschooling Guides — because the same worries keep coming up: reading, math, technology, socialization, handling critics. Each guide helps you tackle those fears with clarity, mindset work, and practical steps.

And today, I want to talk about some of those really common doubts — and how you can start to reframe them.

Part 1 – The “Basics” Worry

Let’s talk about the concerns I hear the most:

“My 7-year-old still isn’t reading.”
“My 10-year-old isn’t doing any math.”

Our brains panic: What if they fall behind? What if I’ve messed this up?

But here’s the truth: learning doesn’t unfold on a school’s timetable. It unfolds on your child’s timetable.

Think about toddlers learning to walk. Some at 9 months, some at 15. We don’t panic that one is behind — we trust development. Reading and math are the same.

Your 7-year-old who isn’t “reading yet” may be memorizing logos, noticing patterns in Minecraft, or even using voice-to-text. Those are all pre-reading skills. Your 10-year-old might not be doing long division, but maybe they’re dividing up cookies, figuring out scores in a game, or organizing their Pokémon cards by number. That’s math.

Because school conditioned us to see only worksheets and test scores, we often miss the progress happening right in front of us.

That’s why I created the Academic Guides for Reading, Writing, and Math. They reframe what’s really going on and give you ideas to fuel early learning stages — while reminding you that yes, your child is learning. They’re not behind. You don’t need to rush anything.

Part 2 – When Things Feel Dull or Tech Takes Over

Another season parents hit is when things start to feel...dull. Maybe the kids are bored. Maybe they’re glued to screens and you’re not sure how to reconnect.

First — boredom isn’t the enemy. It often pushes kids to stretch into something new. I’m not one to say, let kids sit with their boredom but they ARE red flags. They’re telling you and them that a shift is happening. What used to be interesting, may not be anymore. Maybe they’ve outgrown their old stuff but they don’t know what would fit them better now.

I know this limbo land can feel unnerving for you. Lots of parents worry about the amount of time their kids want to be on their devices so there’s an entire Unschooling Guide about Technology to help. It doesn’t just say “limit screens” or “let it all go.”

It helps you find the balance — to stay aligned with unschooling while still setting healthy boundaries in your home.
The TRICK is, to really assess what that means: healthy boundaries in your home. We get so many messages about this and they’re not all accurate.

Society historically resists progress - and kids are usually the first to embrace it.
Remember all the time people used to say TV was going to rot our brains? But then we got the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, Food Network and really inspiring documentaries. That’s the opposite of “rotting!” The same thing happened with new inventions like the Radio or the Train or even the Pencil - people FEARED it, but the next generation figured it out. And that’s what we’re in the middle of now with all this technology... figuring out how to navigate what.
What works, and what’s just fear. So that’s what the Technology Guide will help you with.

Remember when people said TV would rot our brains? Then along came the Discovery Channel, Food Network, and amazingly inspiring documentaries. The same resistance showed up with radio, trains, even pencils.
Every generation fears the next new thing — and every generation learns to navigate it.

That’s exactly what’s happening with technology right now. The key is sorting out what’s real and what’s just fear talking. The Technology Guide helps with that.

And sometimes what we need is just fresh inspiration. The Seasonal Guides are for. We’re in Autumn now — and this is such a rich time for learning. Apple orchards, pumpkin patches, fall festivals, astronomy nights as the skies get darker.
But September is almost over — are there things you want to be sure to do before the season slips away? The Autumn Guide has ideas you might not even think of — ready for you to pick and choose. And I’ve included all four seasonal unschooling guides, so you have what you need whenever different seasons roll in.

Part 3 – Why Doubts Creep In

Even when things are going fine, doubts have a way of sneaking back in. Why?

Because when life gets hard, our brains point us back to what’s familiar. For most of us, that’s school. Grades. Tests. Comparison charts.

When our kids’ learning doesn’t look like that, our old conditioning whispers: You’re not doing enough. You’re going to mess this up.

That’s why each guide is structured into three parts:

In the Nest — set the stage in your home and community so learning feels natural.
All About You — mindset work to unpack your own conditioning and old habits.
Practical Support for Kids — real, doable ideas that actually work.

These guides aren’t fluffy.
They’re packed with what I’ve learned from 30 years of unschooling and coaching parents just like you.

And that’s really why I put these Guides together in the first place. Over the years, I kept hearing the same worries come up again and again — about reading, about math, about technology, about socialization. And instead of answering one parent at a time, I decided to create resources that tackle these obstacles directly.

Normally, I’d just point you toward a single guide that matches the challenge you’re facing. But lately, I’ve been hearing from parents who are overwhelmed on all fronts — academics, critics, technology, mindset — it’s piling up. And if that’s you, you don’t need to wait for a one-at-a-time solution.

That’s why I decided to pull all the Guides together and make them available as a complete Toolkit — right now.

Part 4 – About Pivoting... and Black Friday

Normally, I run a sale like this in November, around Black Friday. But honestly, that feels too far away. Too many parents right now are teetering on the edge.

Maybe you’ve tried blending a little unschooling with a little traditional homeschooling — and it’s not working. The kids reject the plans. You feel unappreciated. You don’t want to put them back in school, but you’re not sure what else to do.

I’ve been there. Years ago, we tried that same “hybrid” plan with my own kids — a little structure, a little freedom. It completely backfired. The kids hated it, I was frustrated, and nobody was happy. I realized: if I wanted unschooling to work, I had to pivot.

So this week, I decided to pivot with you. Instead of waiting until November, I pulled ALL of the Unschooling Guides into one Parenting Toolkit — and I’m giving you the Black Friday price right now.

Each guide is usually $15–20. If you bought them separately, you’d spend close to $400. But I’d rather you use that money for museum passes, road trips, art supplies, or science kits.

(The Sale is over but you'll still get a discount!)

What I Want You to Hear

Here’s what I want you to take away: You are enough.

Your kids are learning, even if it doesn’t look like what school told you it should.

And whenever you feel shaky, you don’t need to retreat to old habits or scramble for a new curriculum.

The Unschooling Mom2Mom Parent Toolkit is your Rescue Toolkit . Twenty-five guides covering the biggest challenges unschooling parents face — academics, critics, technology, seasonal learning, socialization, stress, and more.

Think of it as the resource you can pull out whenever fear creeps in or a new obstacle pops up. Because unschooling really does work — and you deserve to step into it with clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.

�� Grab the Toolkit for $249 i nst ead of $395!

Thanks for spending this time with me. You’ve got this — and I’ll see you next time.

10 Life Skills School Never Taught Us (But Adults Wish They Had)

Sun, 21 Sep 2025 17:00:33 GMT

Most adults can name dozens of life skills not taught in school — and just as easily recall the random facts they memorized but never used again.

After spending twelve years in classrooms, many of us still left unprepared for adulthood.
We weren’t taught financial literacy, stress management, relationship skills, or how to spot misinformation.
Instead, we drilled state capitals, sentence diagrams, and timelines without context.
No wonder so many people now search for “things I wish school taught me” or “skills school didn’t prepare us for.”

What schools should have taught are the very tools that help us thrive in real life.

10 Life Skills Adults Wish School Had Taught

Let's look at the My List!

Your list may differ. Maybe you were interested in it during your teen years, and when the teacher spent 15 minutes on it, it stuck.

1. Money Management and Financial Literacy

...instead of memorizing triangles and theorems
What if we had learned more about budgets and debts, credit cards and saving for the future?

We spent hours memorizing triangles and theorems, but almost no time learning how money actually works. What if school had taught us to budget, handle debt, and understand credit? Most of us stumbled into adulthood and learned through mistakes — overdraft fees, credit card debt, missed payments. Unschoolers, though, can bring kids into those conversations early: letting them help plan for a purchase, compare prices, or track savings goals. That’s real math, in real life.

2. Stress Management and Emotional Health

...instead of acing timed tests
What if we had learned more about anxiety and how to self-regulate?
What about a variety of ways that help us manage our own stress?

Timed tests taught us how to panic under pressure, not how to cope with stress in healthy ways. Imagine if schools had shown us tools like mindfulness, breathing, or even understanding how emotions affect our choices. Unschooling families can pause right in the moment — when a child is overwhelmed or anxious — and explore strategies together. Instead of ignoring stress, kids learn how to recognize and manage it, building habits for life.

3. Media Literacy: Spotting Misinformation

...instead of state capital drills
What if we learned more about how to spot scams or hidden agendas?
What if we focused on identifying propaganda or assessing current events more accurately?

We memorized state capitals, but no one explained how to evaluate a headline or a viral video. In today’s world of scams and propaganda, media literacy is survival. Unschoolers have a natural opening here: when kids are scrolling YouTube or TikTok, parents can talk with them about clickbait, ads, and credibility. It’s not a unit in a textbook — it’s a skill learned side by side, in real time.

4. Relationship Skills: Boundaries, Friendships & Red Flags

...instead of calling collaboration cheating
What if we learned more about boundaries and navigating friendships?
Or maybe even identifying gaslighting or signs of narcissists?

In school, Collaboration was called cheating. They didn’t teach us how to navigate friendships or set boundaries. What if we’d been guided through identifying manipulation, gaslighting, or narcissistic behaviors? Unschooling gives families space to talk about these issues as they arise — a fight with a friend, a tricky online interaction, a family dynamic, or even something on a show they watch. Instead of theory, kids get practice in the real-world relationships they’re already having or watching.

5. Insurance & Investing Basics for Adults

...instead of memorizing the names of explorers.

What if we learned more about health and car insurance?
Or how to grow our money wisely or plan for retirement?

We memorized explorers’ names, but had no idea how insurance or retirement plans worked. Adults often feel lost trying to choose coverage or start investing. Unschoolers don’t need to wait for a “class” — kids see it when a family files a claim, pays a bill, or talks about saving for the future. By involving them in real decisions, parents can demystify money and show how planning creates stability.

6. Nutrition & Healthy Meal Planning

... instead of sentence diagramming
What if we learned more about healthy meal planning, or how foods affect our bodies?

We diagrammed sentences, but didn’t learn how to fuel our bodies. What if we had been shown how to cook simple meals, shop on a budget, or understand how food impacts our energy? In unschooling families, kids cook with us, try recipes, and learn how food connects to how they feel. The kitchen becomes both a science lab and a health class — but with better snacks.

7. Understanding Rights, Laws & Civic Responsibilities

...instead of fear of getting caught or that imaginary “permanent record?”

What if we learned more about contracts and personal rights? Or voting rights?
Maybe more about civic duties and how participation matters so much in a democracy?

We worried about a “permanent record,” but not about the rights and laws that shape our daily lives. Contracts, voting rights, civic duties — these are far more impactful. Unschooling opens the door to talk about these things as they happen: reading over a lease, filling out a ballot, or discussing the news. Kids grow up understanding that laws aren’t abstract — they’re part of real life.

8. Time Management & Building Healthy Habits

... instead of obeying the school bell
What if we learned more about personal goal setting?
Or how to manage our "free time?" (that's a weird phrase, right?)

The school bell told us when to move, but it didn’t teach us how to organize our own day. Adults are left scrambling to learn goal setting, prioritizing, and balance later on. Unschoolers learn it naturally: they make choices about how to use their time, then reflect on what worked and what didn’t. Parents can guide, but kids get hands-on practice managing themselves — not just obeying bells.

9. Home & Car Maintenance Skills Everyone Needs

...instead of memorizing the Periodic Table
What if we learned how to handle a leaky faucet ourselves? Or unclog a toilet?
Or change a tire, check the oil?

We memorized the Periodic Table, but most of us didn’t graduate knowing how to unclog a sink or change a tire. Those basic skills give confidence and save money. In unschooling homes, kids can help with repairs, learn from YouTube tutorials, or take apart a broken appliance to see how it works. Instead of “someday you’ll need this,” they gain real competence right away.

10. Politics & Money: Understanding Power and History

...instead of memorizing timelines without contex
What if we learned HOW to "follow the money?"
Or how historically other governments have risen or fallen?

We memorized timelines without context, but not how money drives politics or how governments rise and fall. What if history classes had connected the dots between past systems and what we’re living today? Unschoolers can talk about these things as current events unfold — following the money, comparing systems, learning from history in ways that feel relevant and alive.

School Lessons that DID stick...

Here's a short list of some of the things schools DID teach, that many of us spend years trying to UNLEARN.

I have 3 ways for you to see this:

Final Thoughts: What School Missed vs. Real Life

So here we are: twelve years of school, and so many of us still had to learn these lessons the hard way.

Sometimes people push back and say, “Well, parents should be teaching these things.” But my question is: when ? After kids drag home hours of homework? After they’re worn out from the bus ride? On weekends, when families are just trying to reconnect?

That’s part of the problem. It wasn’t just the wrong topics — it was too many hours, leaving no room for life.

Unschooling changes that. We’re not shackled to outdated, one-size-fits-all lessons chosen by some school board decades ago. Instead, we get to live and learn together, weaving money, health, relationships, and civic life right into the day. Real life becomes the curriculum — and kids don’t have to wait until adulthood to figure out the things that matter most.

Which of these do YOU wish school had taught?

What would you add to the list?

Share in the comments below!

And if you’d like to go deeper, to have real support while you’re figuring out how to make this work in your home, I’d love to invite you into my Membership group.

Right now, the Annual NOT Back to School Sale is still happening for one more week. It’s a great price — and it gives you a full year of encouragement, community, and practical tools for when you’re thinking about how to implement these ideas with your kids. Why not do it alongside other parents who are figuring this out too?

Learning the Basics Without Curriculum: Reading, Math & More in Real Life

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 15:31:26 GMT

Everyday Life Is Full of “The Basics”

Here are just a few quick examples:

�� Reading & Writing: texting, journaling, fanfiction
➗ Math: recipes, shopping, sports stats
�� Science: baking, gardening, YouTube experiments
�� History & Culture: movies, maps, family stories
�� Arts: music playlists, doodles, photography

✨ Want even more examples?
Grab my free PDF “Seeing Subjects in Everyday Life” — it comes with a handy cheat sheet to help you spot learning everywhere.

“I Love Unschooling, But I Want My Kids to Know the Basics First”

Another oh-so-common thing I hear from parents as they’re embarking on their homeschooling adventures is this:
“I love unschooling, but I want the kids to have The Basics first.”

And while I completely understand the intention behind that statement, we have to pause and unpack it a little bit.

What Do We Mean by “The Basics”?

Different people mean different things. For some it’s learning to read fluently. Then that expands to spelling, and choosing reading for fun. For others it’s math skills — but how far? Multiplication? Algebra? Geometry? Writing often makes the list too, but again — where’s the line? A neatly written essay, or just being able to text in full sentences?

When we prioritize these “3 Rs” — reading, writing, arithmetic — as if they’re the single thread the entire tapestry of learning leans on… it’s worth asking: is that actually true?

Did We Need All Those “Basics”?

Think about it.

Did you learn important life skills today because you can still diagram sentences, or prove a geometry theorem, or write a perfect five-paragraph essay? Most of us spent years drilling those basics. And yet, how often do they really show up in our adult lives?
Unschooling invites us to step back and ask the deeper questions:
Do kids really need this?

Do they need it now?

Could they learn it differently, more naturally, if we don’t force it?

Redefining “The Basics” for Today

Here’s the other layer we don’t always think about: maybe “the basics” themselves need a refresh.

Take penmanship , for example. Do kids need to spend hours perfecting cursive in 2025? For some, handwriting will matter — for art, calligraphy, or personal notes. But for most of us, the real “basic” is clear communication, no matter the tool. That could mean typing, texting, voice-to-text, even creating a video message.

Or think about math. Is the real “basic” solving long division on paper? Or is it being numerate enough to budget, compare prices, calculate tips, or understand a news story about percentages and polls?

And what about skills that schools never labeled “basic” at all — but now feel more essential than cursive or memorizing capitals?

How to find reliable information in a world full of search engines and misinformation.
Critical thinking — not just solving problems, but knowing which questions to ask.
Executive function — planning, prioritizing, staying flexible when things change.
Emotional literacy — noticing your feelings, communicating them, and understanding others.

When we stop and look at life as it actually is today, it’s clear: “the basics” aren’t just the 3 R’s anymore. They’re the skills that help us navigate a constantly changing world, build healthy relationships, and keep learning long after childhood.

How Kids Learn the Basics Anyway

Here’s the part that feels unorthodox… maybe controversial… but at the same time, VERY reassuring. Kids do learn the basics. They just don’t always learn them the way we expect.
Reading shows up in gaming, texting friends, street signs, menus, subtitles, instructions.

Writing shows up in social media posts, fanfiction, lists, letters, emails.

Math shows up in cooking, allowance, sports stats, building, shopping, gaming economies.

The world constantly offers “basics” for free — and kids grab onto them when they’re meaningful.

✅ Try This Right Now

Pause for a moment and make a quick list of what you consider “the basics.”

Be honest — what skills are you worried your child won’t pick up if you don’t teach them first?

Then ask yourself:

Do I actually use this skill in my own adult life?
Could my child bump into it naturally, through daily life or interests?
Am I withholding something joyful until this “basic” is mastered?
Who is telling me, or why am I thinking I have to push for this before we go on to other things?
Is the familiar timeline for learning serving my child or leftover from making the school system move smoothly?

This quick reflection helps you see whether “the basics” are really important to your child's learning foundation — or could you remove the pressure and wait a little bit to see what happens?

The Risk of “Basics First”

But when we wrestle it away from the kids, with our pronouncement of “basics first,” how kids hear this is often: you can’t follow your interests until you’ve earned it. It makes learning feel like a gatekeeper, instead of a natural part of life.
Have you ever had a child pick up a toy at the store, notice the word “Educational” on the box, and immediately say: “Nope! Don’t want that”? That usually happens with kids who’ve been through school or a more traditional, curriculum-heavy version of homeschooling. They’ve been taught to separate learning from living.

It’s like when parents say, “eat your dinner before you can have dessert.” Even if the meal is something they enjoy — like baked potatoes — it now feels like the chore they have to slog through just to get to what they really want. The “forbidden fruit” effect kicks in.

We’ve made kids think PLAY is the forbidden fruit. But play is actually where so much learning lives. Curiosity, problem-solving, creativity, persistence — all of those grow through play. By separating “education” from fun, we do kids a disservice. We tell them learning can’t be joyful, when in reality, the joy is what makes it stick.

Let’s not turn something natural, like reading, into something stressful.

A Better Way to Think About It

Instead of putting basics at the door and making kids knock, what if we open the door and invite them into all of it? What if WE walk through the door and see all the learning that’s happening in the activities they already enjoy without asking them to jump through some arbitrary hoops — just because that’s easier for us to see.

The basics and the “beyond basics” weave together in daily life.
Unschooling parents learn to trust that the basics will come along for the ride — while curiosity, connection, and confidence take the lead.

Your Next Step

If you’re nodding along but still want concrete reassurance, I’ve got you covered.

I’ve created a free PDF to help you get started. It will help you start to see from this unschooling perspective.

But if you need a little more help, my unschooling guides for Reading, Writing, and Math are all available too. Individually but at a discount if you need them all. I’ll link to that too. This bundle of guides will show you that unschooling just looks at The Basics differently. It reframes the starting point and the path to get there. I’ll leave links in the description and at the website, so you’ll have them.

Bottom line is: Unschooling doesn’t ignore the basics. It simply trusts that they’ll grow right alongside all the other important skills of life — in a way that makes more sense, and sticks longer, because it’s rooted in your child’s curiosity.

Grab this!

If you’re nodding along but still want concrete reassurance, I’ve got you covered.

I’ve created a free PDF to help you get started. It will help you start to see from this unschooling perspective.

Ready to Dive Deeper?

If you need a little more help, my unschooling guides for Reading, Writing, and Math are all available too.

Individually but at a discount if you need them all. I’ll link to that too. This bundle of guides will show you that unschooling just looks at The Basics differently. It reframes the starting point and the path to get there. I’ll leave links in the description and at the website, so you’ll have them.

Bottom line is: Unschooling doesn’t ignore the basics.

It simply trusts that they’ll grow right alongside all the other important skills of life —

in a way that makes more sense, and sticks longer, because it’s rooted in your child’

How to Spark Curiosity without Lesson Plans

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 06:22:58 GMT

Wishing you had a plan?

Every fall, parents start looking for a plan — something that keeps kids engaged and learning without burning anyone out.

We don’t need rigid schedules like schools use, with bells and deadlines though. Still, a little structure can actually help — even for unschoolers.

That’s why we have the Strewing Calendar!

✨ Strewing: my low-budget, high-impact alternative to curriculum shopping sprees. ✨

What is Strewing?

If strewing is new to you, it’s a casual way to scatter interesting ideas, books, and activities into your child’s world and letting curiosity do the work. Instead of lesson plans or worksheets, strewing makes learning feel natural and fun.

The Strewing Calendar puts those ideas into a calendar format so our kids can get introduced to the concept — but without overscheduling.

And for parents, it gives you a light structure — a skeleton plan — without turning into rigid schedules or curriculum. Each day, you have a quick, low-prep idea at your fingertips. You don’t have to scramble or overthink. You just glance, pick, and go.

✨ If it looks like clutter but sparks curiosity — congrats, you’re strewing!

This is especially important this time of year. Kids are looking around and parents are feeling that pressure to ‘do enough.’
The Strewing Calendar gives you scaffolding to keep it fresh WITHOUT burning you out trying to plan something new every day.

And if the kids say, “Nah, not interested,” it’s no biggie. You’re not frustrated. You know I’ll have more for you and the kids another day.

Kids love looking at the calendar themselves. Some families hang the calendar on the fridge so kids of all ages can see it easily, circling those days they’re most excited about:

‘ Parfaits for Breakfast ?’ That’s a for sure yes!

Or maybe they’re drawn to the magic-themed day and want to watch videos about Harry Houdini.

Seasonal celebrations are in there too — things happening in the real world that kids can connect to.

✨ “The world is full of wonders — I love leaving little sparks for my child to discover.

When you subscribe, you’ll get:

A printable monthly calendar with a fun celebration for every single day.
A weekly Sunday email from me with extra resources for the week ahead.

Parents often skim through, mention ideas casually, or text links to their kids. Sometimes families watch a short video clip together over lunch. It’s easy, casual, and it fits into your week without pressure.

And that’s important — these are ideas , not requirements. If you miss Tuesday because you’re out and about? No problem. Pick it up on Thursday when you’re home. The Strewing Calendar gives you a framework, but you get to decide how and when to use it. There’s no Strewing Calendar police to tell you you’ve missed a day!

✨ “Pinterest makes it pretty. But the Strewing Calendar makes it possible.

And for parents who need to identify subjects or learning objectives — whether your state requires reports or you’re just feeling nervous — there’s a private portal . Each celebration includes every subject we worry about — math, science, language arts, history, art . So you can easily log learning for progress reports or reassure your own inner critic (or your mother-in-law).

Strewing works because it keeps curiosity alive. It reminds your child that the world is interesting, and it reminds you that you don’t have to force it. You just create opportunities — and watch what takes root.

You don’t have to be an unschooler to use this. Loads of homeschoolers are using the Strewing Calendar as an easy way to add curiosity and joy without creating extra work for themselves. It’s a way to keep kids engaged while keeping mom from burning out.

✨ The world is full of wonders — I love leaving little sparks for my child to discover.

So if you’ve been looking for something to guide you without weighing you down — the Strewing Calendar might be just what you need. It gives your kids a steady flow of inspiration, and it gives you the confidence that learning is happening in fun, meaningful ways - without having to design lessons.

See how easy it is to sprinkle curiosity into your family’s day!

The Strewing Calendar IS included in the Creating Confidence Membership , if you’re weighing out what resources you want to tap into. But it’s available separately too.

_________________________________________

Strewing: Sparking Curiosity and Learning

— without a lesson plan in sight!

_________________________________________

School Lies Living Rent-Free In Your Head?

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 14:44:03 GMT

School Messed with Your Head

Most of us don’t like to think of it that way... but school left behind more than math worksheets and cafeteria memories.

It planted beliefs we didn’t even realize we were carrying—about success, worth, failure, and even what “real learning” looks like.

It was shaping how we see ourselves, how we parent, and even how we value creativity and curiosity.

In this episode, we’re digging into 3 hidden “lessons” school taught us that still show up in our lives every day:

Follow directions. Don’t ask questions.
Creativity only counts if it looks like everyone else’s.
If you don’t fit the mold, you’re the problem.

These aren’t just school rules—they’re a kind of brainwashing we carry long after graduation.

You may not even realize how much this is creeping into your parenting—but it’s probably at the heart of why you’re doubting yourself so much.

Hidden Lessons from Our School Days

When most of us think back on school, we remember the schedules, the rules, maybe even the social rankings. But underneath the math worksheets and grammar drills, school taught us some hidden lessons. And those lessons shaped how we see ourselves, how we parent, and how we move through the world.

The problem? Most of those lessons weren’t good for us.

Unschooling gives us the chance to stop passing them along to our kids. Here are three of the biggest “stealth lessons” school tried to teach—and how unschooling unravels them.

1. Follow directions. Don’t ask questions.

In school, compliance was the name of the game. Sit still. Do what’s assigned. Don’t question why.

As adults, that conditioning shows up in subtle ways:

Waiting for someone else to tell us the “right” way to parent.
Second-guessing ourselves instead of trusting our gut.
Looking for authority figures to give us permission.

But learning doesn’t thrive in a world of blind obedience. Unschooling flips the script. Instead of training kids to wait for instructions, it helps them follow their curiosity. Parents don’t need to hand out lesson plans—we create an environment where discovery is welcome, and curiosity leads the way.

2. Creativity only counts if it looks like everyone else’s.

School rewards sameness. Line up your paragraphs. Show your work exactly like the book. Don’t stray too far outside the lines.

And many of us still carry that into adulthood.

Comparing ourselves: Am I doing this as well as she is?
Feeling guilty when our kids learn differently than our neighbors’ kids.
Believing there’s one “right” way to parent.

But unschooling reminds us: there’s room for everyone at the table. We don’t need to compete for rankings or copy off someone else’s paper. Each child brings their own strengths—and when they grow up outside of grading systems, they don’t learn to doubt themselves just because they’re different.

3. If you don’t fit the mold, you’re the problem.

This may be the harshest lesson of all. In school, if you struggled with the format, the problem was supposedly you . You’re behind. You’re lazy. You’re not smart enough.

As adults, those old messages echo in our heads:

Feeling like impostors even when we’re capable.
Constantly worrying that we’re “not enough.”
Doubting ourselves whenever something doesn’t look standard.

Here’s the truth: we were never broken. The system was.

Unschooling refuses to carry that lie forward. Kids grow up knowing learning is flexible, growth happens in its own rhythm, and their pace is not a flaw. That builds confidence that lasts a lifetime.

The Brave Shift

For us as parents, the challenge is unlearning those lessons ourselves. It takes courage to stop conforming, to stop placating the status quo. But when we do, we give our kids something better:

Permission to be curious.
Space to be creative.
Confidence to trust themselves.

That’s an education no grading system can measure. And it’s the one that sets them up to thrive in the real world.

Want some help?

If you’re ready to break free from those old school lessons but feel unsure where to start, my Unschooling 101 course can walk you through the first steps. Or, if you’d like community and encouragement along the way, check out the Unschooling Mom2Mom Membership —a place where parents find support, courage, and practical help as they make this shift.

Don’t Do It!

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 02:03:28 GMT

NOT Back-to-School Video Playlist

Podcast Transcript

Each year, about this time, I get a little twinge that lasts about a month or so - especially when I walk into a grocery store or Target or any other place that has those Back-to-School shopping aisles. For a long time now, I've wanted to say something to some of the moms there. And in the past, that has caused quite a commotion. So I guess it's time to tell you about it.

I know that some families are excited to be getting all their stuff together for the new year. And school works for them.

And I also overhear some moms loudly announcing,

“Only four more days...”

with their kids in earshot, envisioning their relaxing lunch dates and calmer afternoons before the kids get home. The kids don’t usually seem that happy about their moms’ glee at getting rid of them... but that’s probably...for another podcast, right?

A quick glance at some of the kids there in the shopping aisle - and we’ll see they’re looking pretty sad about summer ending. They’re not all that thrilled about returning to school. A few of those moms don’t look that happy about it either - but they’re dutifully checking off items on their supply lists, and trying to comfort their kids.

These are the moms I want to lean over to and say,

“Don’t do it.”

I know the reactions that would get. The raised eyebrows.
The defensive posturing from moms who overhear but were counting down the days to ship the kids off.

But something is tugging at some of these other moms who simply don’t know they have choices. They’d like to maybe explore something else for their child. They are parents who see how quickly the days pass and they want more time with their sons and daughters - not less. These parents see their own family as the most important unit, and not their child’s homeroom teacher and class.

Maybe this sounds like you or someone you know.

For those of you already unschooling, listening to this podcast, do you feel that urge to toss a lifeline to these parents and say,

“Don’t do it.”

For years, these mothers - all of us really - have been conditioned to stop questioning the status quo, get back in line and ignore our guts about keeping the kids home, and trust The System.

I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast .

And we do things differently over here.
I bring little unschooling pep talks to you - short, usually under 10 minutes or so - information to help you see that Unschooling works. I’ve been creating resources to help families nearly 30 years - and I can help you too.
We all learn differently, so I want you to find what works best for you.
Knowledge + Support is what leads you to unschooling success - and I offer both.

This week, we’re talking about that Back-to-School season ...and my urge to whisper to people that they don’t have to send the kids off to school.

I know... there’s resistance.
For a lot of people, they quickly rationalize that sending them to school is The Right Thing To Do.

All of the pro-school marketing comes flooding back into their heads.

Sometimes they counter with:

“But they’ll have fun at school.”

If this is something that popped into your head, have you forgotten the boredom? The frustration with canceled field trips (only 2-3 were scheduled each year)? The staring at the clock waiting for the bell to ring? Sure, you can probably remember some fun times. But were there really that many? As compared to when you were out of school in the afternoons or in the summer?

Or they think,

“They learn so much in school!”

That’s not even true compared to the thousands of hours they actually spend there, over a child’s lifetime. Studies show that children really only receive about 75 minutes of instruction time per day – that’s not even an hour and a half! With so much time shuffling to classrooms, waiting for class to settle down, bureaucracy and busywork, collecting and passing out paperwork, going to assemblies, lunch, recess, not to mention that the instruction is aimed at the center of the bell curve and is obsessed with test prep, it’s pretty clear that not a lot of learning is happening. What if they just weren't listening at the time?

Others argue,

“They love being with their friends.”

They might – but not AT school. They have only three minutes to get from class to class, and a brief lunch period to hang out together IF they are lucky enough to have the same lunch periods with their friends or get to sit at the same table. And, really, how many other kids did you hang out with after school? My school day was spent making plans for how we would eventually get together in off-school hours or weekends. But it wasn’t that fun hanging out with them during class time. Just because your desk is next to someone, doesn’t mean you have any shared interests - just shared birth years, or shared first-letter-of-their-last -name.

And what about the bullying so many kids have to endure? They end up creating all kinds of maladaptive coping mechanisms. They learn that no one will rescue them and they’re forced to be in these situations for most of their waking hours.

Maybe the worry is:

"But I couldn’t homeschool – I’m not a teacher!"

It’s not necessary! Most of the education they received in school to become teachers has to be shelved because of the way the system is set up. Even if teachers are good, most of their time is spent on crowd control and test prep and creating lesson plans for the entire class. It isn’t individualized the way you could with your own child. And that’s going to be even worse with the teacher shortage and funding cuts happening now!

Still I want to tell them, “Don’t do it.”

And if they didn’t roll their eyes and push their shopping cart away from me, I would add a few more things.

Life is short. Spend as many hours with your kids as possible. As I look back at the years my kids were living at home – it really did fly by!
Make Life an Adventure. Real life waits outside those school doors. Parents can have the incredible opportunity to become tour guides joining the kids on these explorations and discoveries, learning alongside them.
Learning is everywhere. Learning happens everyday all the time. It doesn’t have to divided up and parceled out in boring, dull, disconnected ways. When you relax and start to look for it - you’ll see it hidden all throughout your kids’ day. In conversations, on YouTube, as they're pondering something they saw or heard.
You’re not alone. Hundreds of thousands of kids are homeschooling and even unschooling. They are all discovering that schools do not have a corner on that market of learning. They are living in a way that allows them to pursue their interests, practice personal responsibility, learn on their own or in groups, make friends, and create entire communities out in the real world.
Resources abound! I have all kinds of ways to get you some support and information. You don’t have to do this alone - especially next week when we start our NOT Back to School 30-day reset. We're doing it all together and you're invited to come get some support! If you watch this a little later though, I'll have some other options for you too. Don't worry.

Because I’m right here rooting you on, walking along beside you, holding your hand.

So, if you’re wondering if some option exists that could work for your family…or you have that uneasy feeling that you’re trying to ignore, maybe it’s time to make a change.

If you’re hesitating about whether or not to send your kid off to school,
imagine me, leaning over, whispering to you:

“Don’t do it.”

Read more blogposts about NOT Going Back to School Original version of this blogpost: August 2014

Get THIS Guide!

The Unschooling Guide: NOT Back to School is awesome!
Years of information is piled in here for you!
And, yes, even worksheets!
(For YOU not for the kids though!)

You'll find an entire mini-course wrapped up into one $15 PDF.
That leaves a lot of money to spend on experiences for your family!
Here are some of the things you'll find in this Guide:

Ways to make your home more "unschooly"
Suggestions for new traditions to create every August
Dealing with critics at this time of year
Articles that support this decision to not do school
A little self-examination to help you deal with your fears
12 Reasons Unschooling is a GREAT IDEA!
Ideas for what to do INSTEAD of school!
Collection of kids' books that never mention school
Ideas to create an Action Plan to help you
27 full-color pages of inspiration and encouragement

Happy Anniversary to the UM2M Community

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 22:53:17 GMT

Celebrating 11 Years of Supporting Unschooling Families

TODAY, we’re celebrating a pretty big milestone—

It’s the Unschooling Mom2Mom anniversary! ��

We are the longest-running unschooling space on social media.

And I’ve gotta say... that kind of longevity? It takes some stamina, right?

If you’ve been around since the early days, you know how this all started.

Back in 2014, we was noticing something over and over again: Parents were curious about unschooling. They wanted to understand it. But when they went looking for help—what they found was a lot of criticism.

It was rough out there.

Ask a question that showed you didn’t fully “get it” yet? You’d get jumped on.

Use the wrong phrase, or heaven forbid say something “too schooly”? People would pounce.

And honestly... that just wasn’t going to work for me.

I had already been quietly blogging for nearly a decade. I knew unschooling.

And I also knew that most mainstream parents—parents like I once was—weren’t hearing the message that unschooling could actually work for them

They were hearing that unless they got it “perfect,” they didn’t belong.

And that just... wasn’t true.

I knew that even “almost unschooling” could be a step in the right direction.

That it wasn’t some miserable failed attempt—it was part of the process.

Because that’s what this is: a process. A process of unlearning the things we were taught to believe about kids and learning and control. A process of finding a better way.

So we created something different.

We built Unschooling Mom2Mom to be a space where curiosity was welcomed.

Where support came first.

Where parents didn’t need to know all the ‘right’ terms to use—or feel behind because they hadn’t read the few unschooling books that were even out there.

We weren’t looking for where someone said the wrong word or slipped into a schooly thought—we were looking for the common ground.

Because that’s where the real connection happens. That’s where the lightbulb moments start.

I knew that fear was usually what was driving the doubt, the resistance, the clinging to structure.

But I also knew: with a little information and a lot of support, families could let go. Just like I had.

And when they did? Life got so. much. better.

What's it Look Like Today?

Our little Unschooling Mom2Mom community has grown into something I never could’ve fully imagined back then:

Over 49,000 members in the Facebook group
37,000 followers on the public Facebook page
26,000 on Instagram
Over 345,000 podcast downloads

Unschooling Mom2Mom has become the largest unschooling presence online.

But more importantly—it’s become a space where thousands of families have found clarity, confidence, and connection on this path.

Has it changed over the years? Absolutely.

In the beginning, it was the Wild Wild West.

We had a crew of strong, thoughtful unschooling mamas helping moderate, keeping conversations on track, protecting the tone we wanted to set.

And over time, the group has morphed, just like we all do.

We paused questions for a while… we navigated algorithm shifts and social changes… but this summer, we’ve reopened the gates to welcome a new wave of parents who are realizing:

Something about school isn’t working.
Something about the pressure, the power struggles, the lack of autonomy—it just doesn’t feel right.
And they’re wondering... Could this be the better way?

This podcast, this community, this work—it’s here to say:

Yes. It can.

And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

So whether you’ve been here since the start—or you just stumbled on this podcast today—I want to say:

�� Thank you.

Thank you for being here. For showing up. For asking the questions.

For choosing connection over control.

For doing it differently.

Because when you speak publicly in comments or posts, thousands who were too scared to post are nodding along.

You’re actually making a huge contribution to the community.

You’re helping others see they’re not alone.

They thought that too!

And they’re glad YOU were brave enough to say it outloud.

If you’re not already in the Facebook group , come join us.

Check out the website.

Or—better yet—come get support in the Not Back to School 30-Day Reset that starts next month.

I used to do annual webinars every August...but this year, I wanted to offer something more impactful.

More personalized. More hands-on.

Because what you need right now isn’t just information—

You need hand-holding that actually grows your confidence as the rest of the world rushes back to school.

And that’s exactly what this 30-Day Reset is here to do.

You don’t have to do this alone. You never did.

Here’s to 11 years of unschooling support—and whatever comes next. ��

Cost/Benefits Analysis for Unschoolers

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 01:18:33 GMT

Updated October 8, 2025 Listen to the Podcast

Podcast/Video Transcript below

What is a Cost/Benefit Analysis

…with regards to Life

You often hear the phrase cost-benefit analysis in business circles. The goal there is usually profit:

Will the expenses be justified by the return?

But the concept translates beautifully into real life, too—even if no one ever taught us how to use it that way.

In School

In school, you're told what to do. For everything.

There’s one right answer.
The bell tells you when you're done.
The teacher’s approval signals success.
You raise your hand and wait to be called on.

It's a lot of spoon-feeding.
It’s efficient.
It keeps everything moving.

But it also shuts down a really important question:

What matters most to me—and is it worth it?

You may start to wonder:

Who decided this is what I need to learn?
How does one curriculum fit every person?
What am I actually being prepared for?

Sue expands on this concept here in the video

And once you tug on that thread, the whole sweater starts to unravel.

Standardization doesn't leave much room for individualization —and that’s what we actually need to build a meaningful adult life.

Why It's Hard to Shift

I won’t go too deep into why schools operate this way—but let’s just say: it wasn’t designed with individuality in mind.
Whether for industrial efficiency, training factory workers to be easier to manage or crowd control (maybe those are the same?), the system was built to move large numbers of kids from Point A to Point B.

But we don’t live in the Industrial Age anymore.
We’re in the Information Age.
And schools haven’t caught up.

That’s part of the reason why independent thought feels so hard after graduation—most young adults just haven’t had much practice at it.

For Unschoolers

But not so for the unschooled teen.

They’ve been practicing real-life decision-making all along.
They’ve weighed pros and cons for all sorts of opportunities that have crossed their paths.
They’ve chosen paths—and changed their minds.
They’ve made mistakes—and learned to see those as data for the next decision, not disasters to be ashamed of.

Why am I bringing this up?

Unschoolers have been doing cost-benefit analysis for years.

Not in spreadsheets.
Not for profit.
But in everyday life.

And the result?
They’re not paralyzed by the fear of doing it "wrong."

They’ve been trusted to navigate uncertainty, and now they trust themselves to do it again.

Podcast Transcript:

What if your child has been practicing decision-making all along — and school actually shut it down?

Or maybe you have, without even realizing it. Because it felt more efficient. Or because your patience was running thin. Or because you thought you could see the handwriting on the wall and wanted to head off the disaster you were sure was coming.

Kids do weigh out their choices. They think about what they’re willing to risk, what they might gain, and whether it’s worth it. That’s cost/benefit thinking. But when adults step in too quickly — whether it’s a teacher with a system or a parent trying to keep the peace — that natural process gets interrupted.

So today, let’s talk about what cost/benefit thinking really is, why hesitation is not laziness, and how unschooling gives kids the chance to build real autonomy.

I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast. I’m bringing short unschooling pep talks to help you not only SEE that unschooling works - but How and Why you should unschool your own kids. Some of you are just thinking about unschooling, maybe you’re currently homeschooling more traditionally but Could use some more options, or maybe your kids are still in school and you’re wondering if this might be a better a choice altogether..

Maybe you’re already unschooling but you need a little encouragement each week! After nearly 30 years and 3 grown Unschoolers of my own, I’m here to show you what works and what doesn’t!

So this week, I wanted to talk with you about your kids’ decision-making abilities and this thing called Cost Benefit Analysis.

What Cost/Benefit Thinking Really Means

You usually hear the phrase cost-benefit analysis in business. The goal there is profit: Will the expense be justified by the return?

But in life, it’s simply asking:

What will this cost me? (time, energy, comfort, risk)
What might I gain? (fun, learning, connection, pride)

We do it all the time as adults: Do I cook or order out? Do I take on this project or say no?
And kids do it too — if we let them.

But School Trains Kids Out of It

In school, you’re told what to do — for everything.

There’s one right answer.
The bell tells you when you’re done.
The teacher’s approval signals success.
You raise your hand and wait to be called on.

It’s efficient. It keeps things moving. But it also spoon-feeds kids and shuts down a really important question: What matters most to me — and is it worth it?

And in school-at-home homeschooling , it doesn’t change much. Kids are led through topics they may or may not care about. They’re told they can’t get to their own passions until the curriculum is finished. The parent needs to be satisfied. The boxes need to be checked.

That’s not autonomy. It’s just school, relocated to the diningroom table.

Why It’s Hard to Shift

It’s hard to make the shift.

This system wasn’t designed with individuality in mind. It was built for efficiency — training compliant workers and moving large numbers from Point A to Point B.

But we don’t live in the Industrial Age anymore. We’re in the Information Age. And schools haven’t caught up.

That’s part of why kids leaving school — or school-like homeschooling — often hesitate. They simply haven’t had much practice making decisions that matter to them.

Time for Some Help?

And here’s where I want to pause. Because if this feels familiar to you — your child hesitates, or you wonder if they’ll ever take initiative — you are not the only parent with those worries.

Inside my Creating Confidence Membership , this is a common conversation. On our Zoom coaching calls, in our private WhatsApp group — parents are comparing notes, noticing when hesitation is actually practice, and reminding each other to focus on partnership instead of conformity.

It’s a relief to see you’re not alone — and it’s where real change happens.

Why Hesitation is Practice

So let’s circle back to that idea that Hesitation is Practice. When you hand decision-making back to your kids, don’t be surprised if they hesitate.

That pause? It’s not laziness. It’s practice. It’s where they’re asking:
What will this cost me? What will I gain?

Sometimes they’ll say no. Sometimes they’ll jump in. Both are valid. Both are practice.

And over time, that pause becomes confidence. They learn to trust themselves.

Everyday Examples

Sports team: Costs = practice time, energy, possible embarrassment. Benefits = friendships, fitness, fun.
Messy art project: Costs = cleanup, supplies. Benefits = fun, expression, creativity.
Video game: Costs = frustration. Benefits = problem-solving, connection, entertainment.
Social outing: Costs = nerves, energy. Benefits = belonging with others, making memories.

This is cost/benefit in real life. Not in spreadsheets. Not for profit. But in ways that matter to them.

For Unschoolers

Unschoolers have been doing this all along.

They’ve weighed pros and cons. They’ve changed their minds. They’ve made mistakes and learned to treat them as data — not disasters.

And the result? They’re not paralyzed by fear of doing it “wrong.” They’ve been trusted to navigate uncertainty, and then as young adults, they trust themselves to do it again. People often comment about grown unschoolers and how they have such confidence. I don’t really remember being particularly confident in my 20s. But those grown unschoolers have been practing with weighing things out, seeing mistakes as data and not the end of the world. It was built into their childhoods. And you can build it into your kids’ childhoods too.

So....

If you’re worried your child isn’t showing initiative, remember: hesitation is practice. Cost/benefit thinking is how autonomy grows.

And if you’d like more support while you navigate this shift, come join us in my Membership . You’ll find parents prioritizing partnership over conformity, connection over standardized learning — and you can be part of a real community for the journey. Mindset shifts are hard - but doing with other people on the same path can make this all so much better.

Take care, and Happy Unschooling!

Grown Unschoolers

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sun, 27 Jul 2025 03:16:36 GMT

Curious whether unschooling actually works?

Discover the research findings, personal stories, and firsthand experiences from grown unschoolers.

Unschoolers thrive in college, careers, and life — success doesn’t have to follow a traditional path.

Grown Unschoolers' Success Stories

First, we should say that we know "success" has to be defined on a personal level. For some it's money, for others it's prestige, and for others it's about their own happiness or living the life they want to live. The older we all get, we realize that our definition of success can change over time too. But, everyone should know that unschoolers can make the choices they want to make about their own lives.

As parents, we sometimes worry that our choices are going to close doors for our kids. And I suppose that's true - we move to certain parts of the country, we have incomes that may cause some financial limits. But unschooling per se does not close doors. Grown unschoolers are able to get into college, do well, and get careers.

Other unschooled "grads" skip the college route and dive into careers.

Some take a couple of years to travel and then reevaluate the plan.

But if you have concerns that grown unschoolers are not doing well, let these resources allay your fears.

Are You a Parent of a Teen?

My Creating Confidence Membership group, is full of parents of teens and pre-teens. We have SO much to talk about in there!

Maybe you're worried about transcripts, or how they'll make friends.
Maybe the concern is more THEIRS... and they're wondering if they're really prepared for Life!

You can bring your questions to these recorded coaching calls (twice/week!)
But most importantly, you can connect with other parents who are on this path!

Sometimes, it's hard to find each other out there in the real world. This membership makes it easier.

You really are NOT alone!

Writings & Books

As time moves on, we have more and more grown unschoolers to read about! Hooray!

Grown Homeschoolers
...share about their lives

In my book, Homeschooled Teens , I posed questions to 75 young people
(from ages 15-39) about what their teen lives were like without going to school.

Most of us want to know...

How did you make friends?
How did you learn?
What kinds of hobbies did you enjoy?
Did you work, do sports, travel?
Did you get into college? How was that experience for you?
Do you think you'll homeschool your own kids?
What's your relationship with your family like now?

If you’ve worried that unschooling might limit your child's future, this book will give you the insights and reassurance you’re looking for.

Grown Unschoolers Share About Their Lives

Here at the website:

Life Learning Magazine

Wendy Presnietz published over 50 articles about grown unschoolers. If you search "Peter Kowalke" on this page, you will see his interviews with several grown unschoolers

A Collection of Grown Unschoolers

Individual unschoolers share stories about their lives.
This website is down now, but you can read archives of each of these grown unschoolers here.
(Nothing ever REALLY leaves the internet!)

Growing Up Unschooling

Pam Laricchia has interview many grown unschoolers on her Exploring Unschooling Podcast.

Grown Unschoolers Collection

Dr. Peter Gray has a collection of articles at Psychology Today about Grown Unschoolers.

Connecting with Your Gamer Teen

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 17:39:54 GMT

No one prepared you for parenting a teen - certainly not in this day and age.

Don't let fears about gaming interfere in your connection with them!

Losing Your Teen to GAMING?

How to Connect with Your Gamer Teen

(Without Pushing Them Away)

When our kids were younger, connection came easily.

We’d go outside and they’d marvel at the clouds, the wind, or a butterfly passing by. We’d snuggle on the couch for stories, laugh at Snapchat filters together, or bond over popsicles and playdates. They lit up when we walked in the room.

But then..they grew up.

Now they shrug when we suggest something.
They’re focused on their games.
They might be holed up in their room more than we’d like.
And suddenly, those little everyday moments of connection feel fewer and farther between.

If you’ve found yourself wondering,
“Where did my kid go?”
—or worse—
“Did I lose them?”
You’re not alone.

Let’s talk about what’s actually happening—and how to reconnect in a way that works for them .

Resources for You!

Interactions with the Kids

50 Conversation Starters to

Connect with Your Gamer Teen!

Podcast Listener? Click this

Unschooling Guide: Technology

From Close Companions to “Roommate Mode”

One mom on a recent coaching call told me,
"I didn’t sign up to be his roommate."

I knew exactly what she meant.
That feeling of just coexisting—of passing each other in the kitchen and not really being in each other’s lives anymore.

But here’s the thing:

What if Roommate Mode doesn’t have to be a negative?

What if you reframed it as an invitation to be the best roommate they’ll ever have ?

That might look like:

Respecting their space
Sharing snacks without a side of judgment
Being nearby without dominating the conversation
Offering calm, no-pressure presence
Checking in without prying

That’s not giving up. That’s growing up —together.

When we release the expectation that connection should look like it did when they were six, we open ourselves to a deeper, more respectful kind of relationship.

Was Curriculum Ever Real Connection?

If you were a traditional homeschooler, you might look back and think,
“But we used to be so connected when we did school together!”

You read aloud, worked through lesson plans, maybe sat at the table side by side doing math or handwriting.

But here’s a gentle question to consider:

Was that real connection... or just you feeling productive?

Maybe you felt connected because the day had structure, and your kid was (kind of) cooperating - until they weren't.

But were they feeling bonded to you through that?

Or were they just waiting for it to be over so they could finally go do what they loved?

Sometimes we confuse compliance with connection.

Now that your teen has more autonomy, they’re showing you what lights them up.
It might not be read-alouds or science kits anymore—it might be gaming .

That doesn’t mean the connection is gone.
It just means you might have to meet them where they are now.

Presence Without Pressure

One parent on our weekly group call shared that her autistic teen loves to be in the same room—but doesn’t want to talk.

That kind of presence can be confusing if you’re a talker.
You might think,
"He sat down next to me...maybe he’s ready to chat!"

But not all presence is an invitation to converse.

Sometimes, it’s a need to recalibrate quietly—just being near you without having to do anything.

If every time your teen enters a room, you immediately launch into questions or advice or chatter…
they’ll start to associate your presence with stress.

And that’s not what you want.

Sometimes the most powerful way to reconnect with your teen is to be there without needing anything in return. No strings. No expectations.

Just quiet love.

Gaming Isn’t a Wall—It’s a Bridge

It’s easy to see gaming as the thing that pulled your teen away.

But what if it could be the thing that brings them back?

You don’t have to play with them (though some do!).
You don’t even have to like the game.

But if you can ask with genuine curiosity—
“What do you love about this game?”
“What’s the hardest level you’ve beaten?”
“Do you ever play with friends?”

—you’re showing them that you’re still interested in who they are becoming.

Not because you want to change them.

But because you care.

You’re Still the Anchor

Your teen still wants connection.

It just looks different now.

Sometimes it’s a shared meme.
Sometimes it’s sitting side-by-side in silence.
Sometimes it’s you asking about their latest game—without judgment or agenda.

The good news?

They’re still watching how you show up.

They still need your steadiness. Your calm. Your care.

So take a breath. Let go of the old image of how connection “should” look.
And lean into the one that’s growing right in front of you.

You’ve got this. And I’m here if you need support.

�� Sue

June: Private Unschool Coaching Discounted!

Sat, 28 Jun 2025 21:15:09 GMT

You Need to Talk to Someone!!!

Hi there, it’s Sue Patterson from Unschooling Mom2Mom, and I’m popping into your weekend with a quick—but really important—message. Especially if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, second-guessing yourself, or just wishing someone would help you sort through the tangle of thoughts about school, unschooling, and kids and what to do!

Every June, I open up a special coaching offer—because this is the time of year when a lot of families are shifting gears. School just ended, or maybe traditional homeschooling didn’t go the way you hoped, and you’re standing there thinking...

“Now what?”

You know you want to do something different—maybe unschooling, maybe a more relaxed approach—but you’re not exactly sure what that looks like, or how to get started.

That’s where I come in!

Through June 30th , which is Monday, I’m offering 30-minute private coaching calls for just $50 —a big discount from my regular rate— normally you can only get this through my membership group. But so many families are starting to panic, and this is an easy way I can help more people. I am kind of on a mission. I want everyone to know that they CAN step away from what’s familiar and do something that actually fits your kids and your family.

My own unschooled kids are grown - all in their 30s now - they got degrees, have families, own homes and businesses - and we didn’t do a school approach to learning when they were kids. I have so many ideas you can use - we just need to talk!

Let me walk you through...

3 of the most common reasons people book these calls

—and maybe one will sound a lot like you.

You’re the parent pulling your kids out of school this year

Maybe school wasn’t working. It was stressful. They weren’t learning. Or it just didn’t feel right anymore. And now, you're trying to figure out: What comes next?

This is where so many people are in June and July. You're standing at the starting line of something completely new—and you're getting mixed messages from the internet, your relatives, your own inner critic.

In our call, I’ll help you sort through the noise. We’ll focus on your child, your family, and what matters to you . We'll create some doable first steps to ease the transition—and help you feel more confident moving forward.

You’re switching from traditional homeschooling to unschooling-ish

Maybe you started with the workbooks and curriculum, and it kinda worked—until it didn’t.
The tears, the resistance, the arguments—ugh.

You. are.ready for something different. Something more peaceful. But you also want to make sure they’re still learning. You want to be able to trust the process, but that fear creeps in:

What if I let go too much?

What if I miss something important?

What if this turns into total anarchy?

This is where I come in. I've helped hundreds of families navigate this shift. On our call, we’ll talk about what you can let go of—and what you might want to hang onto. It doesn’t have to happen all at once. We’ll talk about ways to recognize learning when it doesn’t look schooly. I have some PDFs I can give you that will help you dive deeper into this. I’ll help you start moving from control to connection.

You've been unschooling for a while… but something’s missing.

Maybe you’ve gotten too isolated.

Maybe the kids are shifting and you’re trying to figure out where it all fits together now. Growth and developmentally, kids change. So our parenting has to too.

It can be hard to figure out how to keep unschooling as time moves on.

You don’t have many people around you who understand what you’re doing—or worse, they constantly question it.

Maybe your partner isn’t on board.

Maybe your parents keep sending you “educational” links or horror stories about homeschooling.

Or maybe your friends are all talking about back-to-school shopping and you’re just... exhausted from defending your choices.

You need someone to talk to who gets it. Who’s walked this road before. Who can help you untangle your doubts and remind you that what you’re doing is working—even if it looks really different from what everyone else is doing.

That’s what I offer in these calls. I’m here to listen, encourage, and offer practical next steps. I’m here to remind you of what you do know—and how to lean into that.

A few parents have even grabbed multiple sessions at this $50 rate —and plan to check in monthly throughout the year. They jot down their questions, thesticky situations, and then we sort through them together when we meet. You could have that too!

It’s like having your own Unschooling Personal Trainer, without the sweating and push-ups, you’re getting confidence boosts, mindset shifts, and practical next steps that work for your real life.

So if that sounds like what you need right now, don’t wait.

This June offer ends Monday night, June 30th.

You can set up the call right away or schedule it for July or August. Or you could grab a few and schedule them later in the year. I’m flexible.

Here's the link to get yourself on the calendar.
,Let’s talk through what’s happening and what you want to do next.

You don’t have to do this alone. And you certainly don’t have to wait until you're in panic mode.
I’m over here - in your corner.

Let’s figure it out—together.

. �� We’ll talk again soon!

Unschooling Mom Self-Care

Sat, 28 Jun 2025 06:40:19 GMT

Self-care - what a buzzword!

It sounds like it could be... bath salts, weekend get aways.

But then Real Life pops in and says, “You’re kidding, right?”

But self care can mean a few deep breaths before you get out of bed. Stretching your legs and your feet and your arms - before you even hit the floor. 30 seconds. The chaos in the other room can give you 30 seconds. It will be there waiting for you.

Self care can mean fixing your favorite tea in a pretty cup while you gaze out the window into your garden. Or it can mean grabbing a diet coke and dreaming of what your yard will look like some day when it’s not overrun with toys and dog poop.
Self care means knowing where you can and can’t spend the little bit of leftover money you have. It may be about setting aside money for experiences with your kids, because that’s what they’ll remember.
Self care may be about using your money to feel good with the people you love - instead of spending it on looking good to other people. Being intentional about money.

Self-care may mean thinking ahead of time about season passes or museum and theme park memberships.
Self care means building a life you don’t need to escape.
Sure, there are times you need to call in for reinforcements - but overall, the goal is to not be unhappy about the life choices you’ve made.
Self-care may mean getting help. Finding a mother’s helper to play with the kids while you get some things done. Or some two hour drop-off place so you can take a nap.

Self-care is taking the time to counter those voices in our heads about not being good enough, or doing enough for or with our kids. Self-care is unpacking all of that so we know - deep down - that we ARE enough. We are exactly what they need.

Self-care may mean taking a minute to plan out what to eat for the next few days so you’re not flying into the fast food line because you’re out of time.
Self-care is not beating yourself up when you DO fly into that fast-food line.

Self care is stopping the constant comparison to other people. People richer with more child-care help. People with prettier lives on Instagram. People who seem so confident all the time in all their life choices. Self-care is saying, “Good for you. Now, on to my day…”

Self-care is reminding yourself that you have choices. It’s noticing if we tend to feel like Life is unfair or we are the victim - and doing a little personal work to reframe that a little better. It’s about recognizing that every day brings more choices of what you’ll do and where you’ll draw the line.

Self-care is questioning your why’s or why not’s? Self-care is about being intentional. Slowing down enough to see that you CAN do - at least some of the things - that you want to do. Or that you can start yourself on the path toward the bigger goal. But it’s definitely hopping off that conveyor belt that moves us along and leaves us with that feeling of “How did I get HERE?”

Self-care is examining the “Have-to’s.”
It’s your life. Do you really have to?
Self-care is less about treating yourself and more about parenting yourself - a parent that is kind and thoughtful, compassionate and understanding. Yes, be these things to your kids - but be them to yourself too.

Self-care is recognizing that you don’t need to be “fixed,” as much as you need to be taking care of yourself so you can move throughout your life with intention . Remember, there’s no big rush. It’s not a race. You’re not behind. You’re where you need to be right now.

Self care may be walking away from the laundry or a sink full of dishes so you can parent the way you want to parent. Or so you can take a walk and come back refreshed.

Self care might be about planning out some stretches for your body that you can do while you’re leaning over your kid playing Minecraft. Your body gets some needed stretching and you and your kid are connecting over his favorite game.

Self-care is not vilifying your natural tendency for introversion or extroversion. The world needs all these personalities. You need to make time and space to be who you are - without always trying to change that.

Self-care is putting some distance between you and the people who make you feel badly about your choices. It’s bringing in more people who celebrate your wins with you and lift your spirits when things are tough.

The bottom line ⤵

Self-care is up to you.
No one is going to do it for you.

But you have a couple minutes every day to think about where YOU want to set your priorities in this one beautiful life you have.

What a great example that will be for your kids
- and what a fabulous life you’ll be creating for yourself.

Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast/Blogpost:

Others:

Homeschooling Turned Out to be My Self-Care | Motherly
Emily & Amelia Nagoski on Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle | Unlocking Us/Brene Brown Podcast
You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup | Boundary Up/Instagram
Ultimate Freedom | Instagram Reel
Parenting & Finding Time to Be Alone | Medium

More Help Here!

Whether you need to figure out what's stressing you out or you need more ongoing support - we have what you need!

This Unschooling Guide: Stressed Out helps you hone in on what's really stressing you out - without telling you to put the kids in school!

Creating Confidence Membership Group will give you a community you can lean on and a coach who understands!

Additional Self-Care Help
in Sue's Membership Circle

"When Sue offered 30-minute coaching calls, I gave that to myself as a gift! Worth every penny!"
~Happy Unschooling Mama

Learning Isn't Linear - It Spirals

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 18:23:02 GMT

Wondering about Learning Gaps?

What if learning isn’t linear—but spiral?
Are 'learning gaps' real—or just system labels?
Can kids catch up naturally—without forcing?
How do unschoolers learn without falling behind?
What does nature teach us about learning?

Learning doesn’t follow a straight line—it spirals. In unschooling and other curiosity-led approaches, kids revisit ideas, layer understanding over time, and grow in their own rhythm. There are no permanent learning gaps, no missed windows—just an evolving journey of discovery shaped by interest, context, and timing.

Learning Gaps? Or Just a Natural Spiral of Growth?

If you’ve ever worried that your child is “behind” or missing something important, take a deep breath with me for a moment.

That fear? It’s rooted in a system that believes learning should be measured on a straight, predictable timeline—one skill stacked on the next, in a rigid sequence.

In traditional education, children are expected to master concepts on a fixed timeline—

But that’s not how learning works in real life.

Real learning is curiosity-led, contextual, and deeply personal.
In unschooling and natural learning environments, growth happens in spirals: revisiting ideas, deepening understanding, and connecting new information when it becomes relevant.

It doesn’t happen in a straight line—it spirals.

�� It might begin with a spark—something they hear, see, read, or imagine.

�� That spark leads to curiosity.

�� Sometimes it becomes an interest—not necessarily a passion, just something they stay with for a moment longer.

�� They play with it, explore, connect it to other things in life.

�� Then? They might veer off into something new. Or dig deeper. Or pause for now.

And later—next week, next year, who knows—they may circle back, adding more layers, understanding, and depth.

That’s the spiral.

There are no missed windows.

No one is “behind.”

No “gaps” to fill unless you’re trying to match a system’s checklist.

But you’re not a system.

You’re a family.

And your child is an individual—growing and learning in their own time, in their own way.

Spirals: Nature’s Favorite Shape

Spirals are everywhere in nature—galaxies, seashells, sunflowers.

Maybe learning was never meant to be linear.

Maybe we should take our clues from nature.

Nature Doesn’t Use a Checklist

✨ Trust that process.

✨ Lean into the spiral.

✨ You’re doing just fine.

P.S . Sir Ken Robinson speaks about our obsession with thinking in linear terms regarding education here.

From Doubt to Confidence: 10 Unschooling Struggles You Can Overcome

Fri, 20 Jun 2025 14:03:06 GMT

Listen or Watch

FREE Unschooling Guide!

Dive Deeper with links to resources for each struggle in this free PDF waiting for you!

If you’re unschooling, or even just thinking about it , you might be feeling like...

You’re just not doing it right.

Like maybe your kid is too different, too resistant, too “behind.”
Like maybe you don’t have what it takes.
Or you don’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of—no one in your corner saying,

“Yep. That’s normal. You’re doing just fine.”

That feeling? It’s not just you.

That’s how MOST of us feel when we first step off the school conveyor belt.

We know—deep down—that we don’t want the one-size-fits-all approach anymore.
We want something more individualized. More human.
We want to center the learner , not recreate a school-at-home setup where we become the teacher and our kid becomes the reluctant student.

But even when we know all that… the fear still creeps in.
And on some days? It wrestles the steering wheel right out of our hands.

So today, I want to walk you through 10 common struggles unschooling parents face —because just naming them can be such a relief. I want to show you just how normal all of this is. And how much smoother things can feel when you stop blaming yourself and start getting the support you need.

Let’s get into it.

1. Fear of Academic Gaps

"What if they never learn math?”
Parents worry their child will miss critical subjects or fall behind peers in traditional schools.
It’s a hard mindset shift from “coverage” to “curiosity.” But you can do it!

We’re so used to thinking learning has to follow a set path and timeline. But unschooling doesn’t do school with less structure—it does life with more trust. We know more about brains than we did back in the day. And we know that humans are curious beings. Curiosity fills those gaps—and it sticks way better than memorized facts ever did. Think of how many years you endured subjects that aren’t showing up in your real life. And if they did, you could google it, or watch a Youtube video. You could fill that gap really quickly. I know, this is a hard one to get past - and it may take you a little while to look at it all closely and accurately. But much of the information we were told we’d need - we didn’t. And those things we need, we remember and use them. That’s what happens when you live in the real world. Your kids aren’t living in the Land of the Arbitrary Expectations called school... they’re right here in Real Life with you.

More Here...

Podcast #94: Unschooling & Your Fear about Educational Gaps

Blogpost: What about Learning Gaps?

2. Comparison to Traditional Schoolers

“If I’m not managing their learning, am I being irresponsible?"

School teaches us to plan, assign, and evaluate. Unschooling asks us to collaborate, trust, and partner with them—often before we fully know how.

Sometimes the problem is that we’re still measuring their worth based on comparing and competing. We may SAY we don’t like that school does that so much - but maybe you’re doing it without even realizing it.
Your niece is reading chapter books. Your neighbor’s kid is starting Algebra class.
And meanwhile your kid is building Minecraft villages and watching nature documentaries.
Comparison is a joy-stealer. Your child is learning all the time—it just not going to look like what you expected.It ’s not going to look familiar. But learning is happening.

More Here...
YouTube Video: 4 Reasons Parents Struggle with Comparisons and Competition

Blogpost: What Schools Taught Us (that wasn’t true)

3. Pressure from Family and Friends

“Aren’t you ruining their future?”
Even the most well-meaning people can plant seeds of doubt. It’s hard to stay confident when you’re constantly defending your choices.

You get questions: “Is that even legal?”
“What about college?”
Pressure from Family and friends can wear you out. It’s exhausting to constantly justify yourself. Especially when people you love are questioning your choices. We feel more comfortable when everyone in our circle is in sync. But that’s just familiarity - not necessarily what’s best for you or your child. You don’t owe them a explanation. They don’t get a vote. You’re building a life that works for your family—and that takes courage, not explanations.

More Here...
Podcast/Blogpost: Understanding Criticism from Friends/Family

Unschooling Guide: Critics/Naysayers

4. Letting Go of Control

“Their cousin just aced the SAT. Should we be doing something more structured?”
Unschooling doesn’t come with tidy benchmarks, so it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short when comparing to conventional timelines.
Most of us were raised to believe that learning requires a teacher, a plan, and a set of outcomes. So when unschooling invites us to trust, observe, and partner—it can feel... unmoored.

You’re not “doing nothing.” You’re stepping beside your child, not in front of them. You’re helping them learn the skills to know who they are and how to navigate their way in the world. Learning how to individualize means that you you’re spending a lot more time observing - instead of trying to fit them into a box or trying to sparkle up the standardized curriculum.

More Here...
Podcast/Blogpost: Unschooling, Teaching, Learning

Podcast/Blogpost: Unschooling Parent Worries : “What If I Fail?”

5. Old School Baggage

“It’s hard not to revert back to what I grew up with.”
Traditional classroom methods shaped our thoughts about learning. When unschooling feels unfamiliar or wobbly, it’s easy to slip back into assigning, correcting, and controlling.

This struggle is more internal. But don't beat yourself up—you’re breaking a pattern. Replacing old school habits with trust-based parenting takes time. Every moment you pause and choose connection over control is a step in the right direction.
We can be our own worst enemy, our own harshest critic, right?
You say you trust your child, you WANT to trust your child, but deep down...you have doubts.
You’re still checking boxes.
Still watching the clock. Still panicking about benchmarks.

This isn’t a character flaw—it’s conditioning. You spent a lot of years in school. It was a one-size-fits-all approach that really only aimed for the top of the Bell Curve. That’s why we talk a lot in the unschooling communities about deschooling. It’s where we start to unwind that. And, just a sidenote. It’s not something we really finish. New milestones, new situations bring in new worries. What was no big deal when they’re 7 feels so much bigger when they’re 12 or 13. I just want you to realize that undoing all the conditioning can’t be done in those first few weeks. It’s really an ongoing thing - sometimes more pressing, sometimes less so.

More Here...
Podcast/Blogpost: I Went to School and I’m Fine!

Unschooling Guide: Deschooling

6. No Clear Framework

“Am I doing it right?”
With no curriculum or roadmap, parents can feel like they’re floating—or flailing—without structure or milestones to track.
Without a curriculum, some days feel aimless.

You might ask, “Am I doing enough? Should I be more structured?”
Unschooling isn’t about chaos—it’s about connection. And sometimes, the framework shows up after the fact, in hindsight. You start seeing how much they’re learning, even when it felt like “just a normal day.” You can’t see all that dot connection while you’re in it - but when you take a minute to look back, it starts to reveal itself more.

More Here...
Podcast/Blogpost: Unschooling: Real Life Curriculum

Podcast/Blogpost: Structure & Schedules

7. Overscheduling or Overcompensating

“I bought 10 workbooks, a science kit, and a grammar app. Why won’t they use any of it?”
In a panic, parents may recreate school at home or overschedule with "educational" materials instead of following the child’s lead.

Sometimes we panic and buy All The Things—science kits, apps, subscriptions—thinking we can “cover” everything. We sign them up for camps and classes when they have the slightest interest. I’m not saying, DON”T do these things, but notice what’s happening, what the motivation is. Overscheduling can sometimes be overcompensating for something we haven’t worked through yet. Maybe we have little voices in our heads saying they need to be in room with other kids their age, or maybe it’s more about feeling relieved and happy to let some other system shoulder the load here. Sometimes moms seem to think they have bragging rights for a packed schedule or a busy kid. Unschooling isn’t about stuffing their schedule. It’s about trusting that interests will emerge... and when they do, you’ll be ready to support them. You may just need to unpack why you’re leaning toward filling up that calendar.

More Here...
Podcast/Blogpost: I Went to School and I’m Fine!

Unschooling Guide: Am I Doing Enough?

8. The Decompression Phase

“All they want to do is play video games.”
Some kids decompress for weeks—or months—after leaving school. That natural decompression can feel like a red flag if parents aren’t prepared for it. Sometimes kids resist feeling measured and manipulated - understandably.

Especially after school or strict homeschooling, kids often collapse into what looks like laziness.
Lots of screentime, staying up late, rejecting anything with a whiff of being “educational.”
But this isn’t regression—it’s recovery. Give them time.
You’ll be amazed at what bubbles up when the pressure melts away. And it may take a little - don’t expect them to change just because you’re changing. They may need a little while to see if you really mean what you say. I always tell my coaching group that your job is to learn how to deschool - and their job is learn how to manage all this freedom. This can be a messy path - for both parents and kids. But you’re moving in the right direction - more connection, more relevant learning, more partnership.

More Here...
Podcast/Blogpost: Lacking Motivation

Unschooling Guide: Technology

9. Loneliness

“None of my friends understand what we’re doing.”
Without a supportive community or mentors, it’s easy to second-guess, retreat, or feel like you're the only one doing this “weird” thing.
Maybe your friends don’t get it. Maybe the local homeschool group is too academic or rigid.
It can feel like you’re the only one in this wilderness.

But you’re not . There are other families doing this too. And finding them makes all the difference.

Luckily, we have a lot of online options. And we have a wonderful collection of unschooling parents - all at different points along the path - in my Creating Confidence Membership Group . You can come for a month - or stay for the support! The group has existed since 2016 and we’re here to support you on this journey you’re on.

More Here...
Private Unschooling Support Group: Creating Confidence Membership

10. Fear About the Future

“ Will they be able to get into college? Get a job? Be successful?”
The long-term unknowns can weigh heavily—especially when society praises productivity, credentials, and conformity

This one is big. But the truth is, unschooling creates resourceful, curious, adaptable people.
People who know how to learn, how to solve problems, and how to advocate for themselves.

That’s the real future prep. School conditioned us to always look toward the future - never really living in the moment. So it’s not surprising that we still do this. Plus, as parents, we’re not always confident that we know what we’re doing. Especially if we step off the beaten path a little bit. But conquering fear is all about pulling each fear out into the light and examining it. One at a time. I have a lot of tools that can help you - from Ebooks and Guides to courses - whatever works best for you to tackle those fears.

More Here...

Podcast/Blogpost: Getting into College

Unschooling Mom2Mom Course: Your Unschooling Teen's Transcripts

Any of these sound familiar?

Please know that you’re not broken. Your kid’s not broken.
You’re just in the middle of figuring out a better way.

You can do this. Alone or with others.

Honestly, most people are successful at unschooling when they have a handful of others who support their ideas or brainstorm with them. If you could use some help sorting through these fears—or just want someone to talk it through with— you can set up a private coaching call with me . We’ll look at your specific situation and I’ll help you find your footing.

Or, if you’re ready for ongoing support, come join the Creating Confidence Membership group . Inside, we’ve got resources, conversation, coaching calls, and encouragement from people who get it —because they’re living it, just like you.

You’re not behind. You’re building something better. ��

Transcripts for Record Keeping

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 17:30:32 GMT

Why You Shouldn’t Wait to Think About Transcripts

Hey there, welcome back to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast! I’m Sue Patterson, and today we’re going to talk about something that makes a lot of unschooling parents a little nervous...transcripts.

Now before you click away, hear me out—because this is not going to be a “schooly” episode. I’m not going to tell you how to slip in a little algebra, like you might fold the veggies into a sauce so it can go in unnoticed! In fact, I think by the end of this, you’re going to feel even more confident in your unschooling choices, especially if you’re raising teens or even tweens.

So let’s get into it.

Why Talk About Transcripts Now?

I know, I know. Most unschoolers avoid this topic like the plague until they’re staring down ages 17 or 18 and someone says, “Hey, how’s that transcript coming along?” or “What do unschoolers do about making transcripts for college?”

And suddenly panic sets in.

Lots of times, unschoolers avoid the transcript conversation because it feels too schooly . It’s something those traditional homeschoolers worry about—not us! But more often than not, our unschooled kids eventually need transcripts. For community college, for conservatories, for all sorts of next-level things.

What I want families to know is: it doesn’t mean shifting away from unschooling principles at all. It doesn’t mean cracking open a curriculum or switching things up so your teen knows they have to "buckle down."

In fact, seeing this kind of transcript course—with its focus on the real unschooling lifestyle of teens—can actually help you feel more confident about continuing on the unschooling path with your bigger kids.

It just means taking stock of what’s happening… and learning how to translate it into something the outside world understands.

Transcripts Are Just a Translation Tool

That’s it. They’re not a measure of worth. They’re not proof of “doing it right.” They’re just a tool—like a passport or a resume. A way to show the world what your teen has been exploring and learning in their own unique way.

And when you start thinking about that earlier—before the pressure is on—you give yourself time to do it with intention. You get to continue unschooling your way while still preparing for whatever future paths your teen may choose.

So let me give you five quick reasons to start thinking about transcripts before you “need” them.

✨ 1. Avoid the Panic Pivot
Waiting until senior year often leads to scrambling. You start to question everything:
Did we do enough? Did we miss something?
And sometimes that panic causes families to ditch unschooling altogether and jump into a rigid, last-minute “school-at-home” approach—just to have something to show.

But if you start earlier, even in small ways, that panic melts away. Not start doing schooly things earlier - but start noticing where the learning is. You can simply remember things in a much less rushed way. You’ve been tracking the learning as it’s happened—naturally, gently, and confidently.

✨ 2. See the Learning That’s Already Happening
A lot of parents feel unsure about whether their teen is “doing enough.”
But when we map their interests and activities onto transcript categories like Language Arts, Social Studies, Science, or Fine Arts… it becomes crystal clear.

That YouTube documentary binge? Social Studies.
That Minecraft server project? Technology and math.
That poetry they wrote and never shared with anyone? Language Arts.

Sometimes you don’t see the learning until you start naming it. I’ve talked to hundreds of parents about their transcripts and they come in saying, “oh man, I don’t know how we are going to make this work!” But after just a little bit of time, they’re saying, “wow, we actually did a lot!” And then by the end, even their teen feels really confident about it all.

✨ 3. Keep Doors Open—Without Shifting Gears
Some teens want to go to community college. Some want to apply to a conservatory, a trade school, a job with a resume, or just have a record for future opportunities.

Having a transcript doesn’t mean you’re preparing for college. It just means you’re not closing the door in case they want to walk through it.

And here’s the thing: you don’t have to stop unschooling to make that happen. You don’t have to switch anything up. You just have to see it differently.

In fact, some of the most compelling transcripts I’ve seen have come from unschooled teens who didn’t do anything people would classify as traditional or academic.
Because their learning was real. It was lived. It’s not a series of worksheets or test scores—it’s full of depth and passion.

✨ 4. Boost Your Confidence Mid-Teen Years
Around 14 or 15, a lot of unschooling parents hit a wall. You’re not sure if it’s working. Your teen is changing. Friends are enrolling in dual credit or SAT prep courses.
And that’s when self-doubt creeps in.

But starting to document what your teen is doing—even loosely—can actually calm your nerves.
You start to see just how much they’ve grown.
You realize their “free time” is full of learning moments.
You stop comparing so much, and instead start appreciating this unique path that’s been unfold. It’s not that your teen is changing what they’re doing, you’re just seeing it differently and writing some notes about it.

✨ 5. It’s Not About Worksheets—It’s About Language
Creating a transcript doesn’t mean turning your living room into a classroom.

It means learning how to describe what your teen is doing in language that makes sense to colleges, employers, or institutions.

And I can help with that. I’ve created transcripts for hundreds of unschooling families—families whose teens have gone on to do all kinds of things:
→ Attend community colleges and universities
→ Enter the trades
→ Perform at conservatories
→ Start businesses
→ Travel the world

And guess what? They didn’t have to abandon their unschooling principles to get there.

They just had to learn how to frame what they were doing.

So What Can You Do Next?

If this is resonating with you, and you want a little more guidance, I have this course that walks you through how to build a transcript for your teen—without turning into a traditional school-at-home parent.

It's called the Unschooling Transcripts Course , and I’ve made it easy to follow, full of examples, templates, and step-by-step walkthroughs. Whether your teen is just turning 13 or almost done with their high school years, this course could help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

�� And for now , podcast listeners get a special discount!
Use code “PODCAST” to get the course for just $65 instead of $99.

I’ll link to it in the show notes and on the blogpost version of this episode at UnschoolingMom2Mom.com .

Remember, this isn’t about panicking. This is about planning ahead in a way that supports your unschooling values.

You don’t have to give up freedom to be prepared.

And you don’t have to turn your teen’s life into a checklist—just learn how to tell the story of their learning in a way others can understand.

You’ve got this—and I’m here to help.

Thanks for listening. See you next time!

What If the School Year Didn’t Go as Planned?

Tue, 27 May 2025 17:00:03 GMT

Maybe this year didn't go as you envisioned.
Maybe your big plans fizzled.

Maybe your kids resisted.

Maybe life just... got in the way.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

How to move forward if the year felt like a flop
Creative and meaningful ways to celebrate anyway
What to do if this is your last homeschooling year ever
Plus, how to make those end-of-year progress reports feel a whole lot easier

Whether you’re a relaxed homeschooler or unschooler—or even just curious about unschooling—this is for you.

Time to Wrap Up...

It’s May. And for many of us, this season carries a sort of weight.
End-of-year tests. Progress reports. Graduation ceremonies. Closure.

But what if you don’t feel closure?
What if, instead, you’re looking at the year wondering:

“Where did the time go?”
“Why didn’t we finish what we started?”
“Did they even learn anything??”

That heavy feeling? You’re not alone in it.

Maybe you started the year with vision boards and curriculum plans and color-coded schedules.
Maybe your kids had other ideas. Or maybe your energy faded. Or maybe both.

Now, all you feel is guilt, disappointment, or resentment.

Let’s put a stop to that spiral right now.

You’re not trying to recreate school at home — you’re trying to create an environment where your child actually enjoys learning.
And that’s not easy. Especially if all the tools you were handed don’t seem to work anymore.

So first up?

�� Let’s Call It: This Year Is Done.

You don’t need to wait for some bureaucratic marker to tell you it’s “over.”
You are the teacher. The principal. The superintendent.
You get to say when it’s a wrap.

“4th grade? Finished.”
“10th grade? Complete.”

Done doesn’t mean failure.
It means you’re ready to move forward — and do things differently.

�� Let’s Plan a Celebration (Even If It Was a Messy Year)

If you want closure, don’t make it about tests or finished textbooks.

Make it about connection and reflection.

Hav e a little party. Really!

�� Play music your kids love - get them in on creating a playlist for favorites this year.
�� Plan a feast together - or just make sure to include everyone’s favorites!
�� Look through photos or journal entries from the year — where did you go? What moments made you laugh?
�� Talk about what they are proud of - help them learn to identify their OWN strengths! And show them that you notice them too
�� Celebrate the weird stuff — the Minecraft builds, the inside jokes, the deep dives into obscure topics. You know what’s one of those unschooling secrets? This is often where the real learning is hiding. And this is the stuff that stays with them!

I have a free PDF to help with this — it includes reflection prompts and checklist ideas to keep it easy and lighthearted. And if you’re in my membership group, hop into the Circle and find the full collection of party ideas waiting for you.

Let’s show our kids that celebrating progress doesn’t require a gold star from someone else.
It doesn’t have to be about grades or approval.
Let’s help them see their own accomplishments — and feel proud of who they are becoming.

This is paragraph text. Click it or hit the Manage Text button to change the font, color, size, format, and more. To set up site-wide paragraph and title styles, go to Site Theme.

�� Need to Submit a Progress Report?

I ’ve got something for you here too — especially if you’re feeling stuck.

Use this mindset shift:

Don’t ask, “What did we teach this year?”

Ask, “What did we live through this year — and what did we learn from it?”

As you look through your calendar, photos, or even your camera roll, start connecting those moments to traditional subjects:

�� Language Arts — Did your kids tell stories? Watch movies and talk about plot? Listen to podcasts? Write anything down? Count it.

�� Social Studies — Did you talk about politics, elections, community events? Did you travel? That’s history, geography, and civics.

�� Science — Did they visit nature centers, ask why something worked the way it did, explore animals or weather or space or plants?

➕ Math — Gas prices, video game stats, budgeting, recipes, speed and distance while traveling — these all build math fluency.

�� Fine Arts — Drawing, crafting, creating digital designs, editing videos — it’s ALL creative expression.

Every conversation, every experience counts.

And if your state requires formal documentation, grab your free progress report template (it’s from my new Transcript Course) and match your real life to their language.
You can literally copy their standards from the Department of Ed website and align your child’s experiences to them. I walk you through how to do this.

And if this is your very last year — maybe you’re graduating a teen, or closing this chapter altogether — take a breath.

You did something powerful. You gave your child freedom, space, and trust. That’s worth honoring.

Ready for your next step?

Grab the free End-of-Year Party PDF
Join the Membership Group for More Resources!
And if you want someone to walk beside you — reach out!
I do 1:1 coaching and would love to help.

I’m so glad our paths crossed.
You’re doing more than you think — and I’m here cheering you on.

See you next time!

When Your Support Group Doesn’t Feel Supportive

Sat, 24 May 2025 18:16:46 GMT

Is your Co-Op Affecting your Confidence?

You joined the co-op or support group hoping for connection, encouragement, and maybe even a little inspiration.

But instead?

You leave feeling deflated.
Questioning your choices.
Worried your kids aren’t “doing enough.”
Measuring your kids' days by someone else's checklist.

It’s not just discouraging—it’s lonely.
And sometimes it starts to feel like a competition you never meant to enter—
Not just about what the kids are doing, but about how well you’re doing too.

You hear other moms chatting about test scores, curriculum plans, or how their 8-year-old is reading high school novels—and just like that, your confidence takes a hit.

Support groups can quietly turn into comparison clubs.

And those side-eyes?
Even if they weren’t meant to be judgmental, they land hard—especially when you’re already carrying some doubts.

I’ve heard from so many parents who say they feel like they’re bluffing their way through their own homeschool group.

Like if anyone really knew how much tech time the kids have, or how they still don’t know their times tables, or how your whole family is just figuring it out day by day... they’d be voted off the island. FORGET telling them you're considering unschooling! ��

But here’s the truth:

Not every group is the right fit.

And just because something is called a support group doesn’t mean it actually supports you.

Unschooling—or any kind of intentional parenting—isn’t a performance.
It’s not about impressing anyone or proving you’re doing it “right.”
It’s about growing, connecting, and building something that works for your family.

My Co-Op Experience

When we first signed up for a local co-op way-back-when... we were just beginning to unschool. This co-op was the only game in town and my kids wanted to meet other kids. So we signed them up for the art and P.E. classes only!

I wanted to meet other parents too, and I had such high hopes! But it became clear that these rural Texas homeschoolers had VERY different ideas about parenting and education. So I was on a quest to see if anyone else along the perimeter looked like they may feel a little out of step there too. I stopped looking for reassurance from the co-op and started mining for people I cold relate to! And sure enough, EUREKA! I found TWO! One is still my friend to this day!

But once I found a couple of people, we made our exit from the Co-op.
I remember thinking that we didn't leave one PTA to join another! I continued with my exploration of the community, creating opportunities for the kids and tapping into what wa available - but I found my SUPPORT online.

What to do?

So the group you joined isn't making you feel better - but is actually making things worse, remember this:

Their priorities don’t have to be yours anymore.

And let's look at some options for you:

3 Steps TOWARD Real Support:

Step One:

Step away.

You’re allowed to outgrow spaces that no longer serve you. Especially ones that make you doubt the very values you’re trying to nurture at home.

Step Two:

Reach out.

A coaching call might be exactly what you need to quiet the fears and find resources that fit your vision.
We can talk through the doubts
and find your footing again.

Step Three:

Find a Better Fit

Remember—if you’re a “group person,” that’s not the problem.

Communities vary - you just need to find the right one. Online options can really help your confidence!

People who join co-ops usually like having community
- not just for your kids, but for YOU too!
Everyone wants to be surrounded by people

who understand what they're doing and why.

So let’s get you connected to one that actually supports you.

You can’t always change your relatives or your neighborhood moms, but you can join a group that celebrates individualized learning. Where parents are rewriting the rules , listening to their kids, and cheering each other on.

You don’t even have to call it unschooling if that word feels too loaded right now. One parent in my group calls it Life Learning—and that works beautifully too.

What matters is that you feel empowered to build the life that works best for your family.

You can have a supportive support group.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Remember, you can change things up.

You can tell them your family is going to take a break. Don't offer more information - that's enough.
If you're like me, when you get nervous, you OVER-Share! ��‍♀️ Resist that urge!

You can always go back to it later, once you're on steadier ground. Lot's of families' KIDS like hanging out with the kids in co-op - even if it's a not great fit for the mom. So bring a book, listen to a podcast, meditate in the car - you have options!!!
This is all about figuring out how to individualize your lives.

Unschooling - Rewriting the Rules

That Word: Unschooling!

Day In the Life: How Unschoolers Learn Math

Fri, 23 May 2025 13:45:53 GMT

Unschoolers "Do Math" Without Even Trying!

You might think math only happens in a workbook or classroom, but for unschoolers, it unfolds naturally throughout the day. When kids follow their curiosity and live engaged lives, math is simply part of the landscape—not something set apart.

In school, subjects are separated and labeled so the system can track progress and standardize outcomes. But that’s a structure designed to keep institutions running smoothly—not necessarily to support how real learning happens.

In real life, math doesn’t live in a separate box. It shows up in decisions, projects, conversations, and play.

When parents begin to shift their mindset—to look for the learning instead of trying to impose it—they start to see it’s already there. Math is in the timing, the measuring, the problem-solving, the pattern-spotting. It’s in their kids' real lives, even if there’s not a workbook in sight.

Listen to the Podcast:

Prefer to read or follow along? The full podcast transcript is below

Available soon!

Hour-by-Hour: Unschooler Mathing...

Let’s follow one unschooling teen through a typical day and spot the hidden math as it naturally appears.

8:00 AM – Waking Up & Planning the Morning

Notices the time on the clock and knows hitting snooze adds 9 more minutes.
Mentally calculates how much time they have to get ready before leaving.
Estimates how long breakfast will take to cook so they can eat and still make it to the skate park before the heat.
Scoops the dog food, using the measuring cup so the proportion is correct for the dog dish.

9:00 AM – Heading to the Skate Park

Checks the weather app to see when the temperature will peak.
Estimates how much time they'll have to skate comfortably before it gets too hot.
Coordinates meet-up time with a friend, figuring in drive time and traffic.

10:00 AM – Math at the Skate Park

Estimates distances for tricks and runway lengths.
Times attempts at routines and tracks progress.
Calculates ramp angles and speed needed for jumps.
Looks at the grid on the water bottle to see if it needs to be refilled.
Discusses how shade affects temperature and energy.

11:00 AM – Back Home for Minecraft

Calculates how many resource blocks are needed to build a house.
Estimates crop growth time within the game’s environment.
Converts raw materials (like iron or wood) into usable items using ratios.

12:00 PM – Lunchtime Math

Halves a sandwich and measures portions of rice or soup.
Compares serving sizes and nutritional info on labels.
Divides leftovers for snacks or meals later in the week.
Find containers that fit amount of food leftover.

1:00 PM – Guerilla Tag (VR)

Tracks movement and agility scores over time.
Estimates leap distances and success rates.
Syncs fitness app to review calories burned and energy used.

2:00 PM – Quick trip to the store

Estimates the size cart they'll need
Notices price variations based on quantity purchased - makes price comparisons
Counts the number of snacks in a box to estimate if it will last the rest of the week.
Speeds up walking to get into the short checkout line.
Calculates which lane will be best - who has more in their carts, which checker is training someone, who has coupons.
Bags groceries by size, weight, temperature.

3:00 PM – Swim & Social Time

Times how long they can hold their breath underwater.
Divides toys and games evenly with friends.
Estimates how much time is left before heading home.

4:00 PM – Managing Money & Tech

Counts allowance to see if they can afford a new digital item.
Compares prices on apps and calculates sales tax.
Converts remaining gift card balances into real-world purchasing power.

5:00 PM – Playing Soccer at the Park

Tracks goals scored and compares with past games.
Divides into fair teams and rotates players.
Estimates how long before sunset and when to head home.

6:00 PM – Helping with Dinner

Adjusts recipe quantities to match the number of people eating.
Measures ingredients and calculates serving sizes.
Estimates how long the meal will take to cook.
Notices how many chairs are needed at the table.

7:00 PM – Family Time

Watches a cooking show and converts metric measurements.
Reviews screen time usage via a device tracker.
Preps snacks for later gaming sessions, dividing portions evenly.
Plays a board game with dice, spaces, strategies.
Plays MarioKart with estimates, scoring, ranks, speed, distance, time.

8:00 PM – Dog Walk

Notices the speed of the dog's tail wagging - they're ready to go!
Estimates how far they’ll go and how long it will take.
Tells friends online when to meet them for evening gaming.
Tracks steps using a phone app.
Notices treats are low, halves one to get the dog when they get back.

9:00 PM – Games on Phone or Tablet

Puzzles: Rotating/stacking shapes using spatial reasoning on a timer. Estimating geometric angles and alignment for efficient fits.
Balance & Motion Games: adjusting angles and momentum to land safe jumps, timing swings precisely to stay on course, estimating speed and distance to avoid falling.
Risk & Reward Strategy Games: Weighing probabilities before making in-game choices, using mental math to make fast decisions under pressure, tracking high scores and adjusts strategy based on results.

10:00 PM – Roblox Time

Calculates how much in-game currency is needed to buy accessories.
Estimates how long a game level will take to finish.
Tracks progress and performance in an obstacle course game.

11:00 PM – Winding Down

Looks at the clock and plans how much sleep they'll get before morning.
Calculates how many hours remain until their next commitment.
Reviews phone battery usage and percent remaining.
Takes the stairs two-at-a-time on their way to bed.

Need Help SEEING the Math?

Math Is Everywhere When You’re Paying Attention

For unschoolers, math doesn’t have to be a chore or a worksheet. It lives in the rhythm of real life—embedded in the choices, projects, and interests of the day. When parents begin to see this, they start to trust that even without a traditional curriculum, their kids are absorbing and applying mathematical thinking all the time.

Want to track the real-life math happening in your home?
Try journaling it for a few days—go on a Math scavenger hunt —you might be surprised by how often it appears!

If you need help with math, so many math resources are waiting for you in the membership.

Plus, you can get all Sue's courses - including Learning Math WITHOUT Curriculum - for 50% off!

Your Unschooling Success Path

Sun, 04 May 2025 22:08:08 GMT

How do you go from overwhelmed to confident when it comes to unschooling?

Sue Patterson shares the strategy that works for hundreds of families
- tackling the big issues one at a time!

Starting unschooling brings up a lot.
It’s exciting, but also kind of scary.

You want to do right by your kids. You want it to feel good.

But some days, you’re just not sure if you’re getting it “right”—or what right even means anymore.

After years of walking alongside unschooling families, I noticed something: most people go through similar stages.
Not perfectly. Not in order. But enough that it’s helpful to name them.

This Unschooling Success Path is meant to give you some calm, some direction—and a reminder that wherever you are, it’s okay to be there.

And if you're looking for steady support along the way, the Creating Confidence Membership is built around these five stages, offering tools and community at every point on the path.

One Quick Thing about These "Stages"

“Stages” and “subjects” both give the illusion of clean categories — but unschooling
(and life) rarely plays by those rules. It’s fluid, contextual, and deeply personal.

I want you to have clarity and structure — if that helps you. But you’re not boxed in.

You might find yourself resonating with parts of more than one stage. You might work on one area today, and focus on something completely different tomorrow. Tune into what your most pressing need is. You're learning how to learn in this more natural way too. ;)

Stage 1: Just Starting Out

This is the wide-eyed, “What even is this?” stage.
You like the idea of unschooling—but one minute you’re excited, and the next you’re sure you’re going to mess everything up. Sound familiar?

You might be:

New to the whole idea
Not sure what questions to ask
Jumping between hope and panic
Looking for reassurance that this isn’t totally nuts

What helps right now:

A steady, supportive group of people who get it
Hearing stories from parents a little further ahead
Permission to take it slow

�� Inside the membership , you’ll find welcoming spaces, honest Q&A, and gentle guidance made for this early stage. It's so great to be able to ask your questions without worrying about being judged!

"I wanted to send a big THANK YOU to let you know that I’m glad I found Sue! She does a magnificent job helping families around the world and in the sweetest and educational way possible!" ~Vane, Venezuala

"Sue's calming presence and intuitive questioning helped me develop the confidence I was looking for. This coaching group has been a big relief - just feeling that I have a life-line that I can use when times are difficult or doubts arise!" ~ Susan, North Carolina

Stage 2: Focused on Learning

Once the panic settles a bit, new worries creep in.
Mostly about education.
What are they learning? Are they learning enough?
What about math? What about college?

You might be:

Scanning for gaps
Wondering how they’ll learn the “hard” stuff
Thinking maybe you should just add a little structure
Comparing (even if you don’t want to)

What helps right now:

Seeing how unschooling works for real families
(even in high school! Read Homeschooled Teens )
Learning about deschooling (yes, you too—even if your kids never went to school)
Letting go of the idea that learning has to look “official”

�� In the membership , we dive into deschooling together, explore real-life examples, and ease those lingering fears about “doing enough.”

Sue is professional but personable and patient. She has a sense of humor that keeps heavy things lighter and more manageable to talk about. She’s insightful from so much experience having unschooled/partnership parented her own kids all the way to adulthood.

I love the group coaching, because of its affordability but maybe more specific to the make up of the parents in the group - a group of people who aren't worried about academics at all.

Sue’s coaching gave me an example of how to think through problems with children and spouses in resourceful, creative, respectful, practical ways. ~Rachel, Arizona

I chose to work with Sue because I was feeling a little lost and unsure of my decision to return to unschooling. Her coaching gave me encouragement to research and define for myself what learning and education is and to have the confidence to carry it out in my family, regardless of what other people (the experts, the education industry, other Homeschoolers) thought about it. I gained a greater peace in my family, a focus on family relationships and being available and approachable for my teens, and not constantly trying to hold them accountable for doing arbitrarily defined educational things. ~Kimm, Georgia

Stage 3: Derailed by Critics

It’s not just your inner voice—it might be the people around you.
Family, friends, the school-loving neighbor.
And sometimes? You’re your own worst critic.

You might be:

Easily thrown off by comments or questions
Second-guessing decisions you felt good about yesterday
Feeling isolated, or like no one else gets it
Tired of defending yourself

When we're surrounded by critical friends and relatives - or if we're our own harshest critic - it's hard to focus on learning more about unschooling. So we've gathered information for those with a lot of naysayers in their lives - we can help you overcome that too!

What helps right now:

Calm, clear responses for those awkward conversations
Tools for understanding where the fear is coming from
A community that reminds you: you are not alone

�� In Sue's Membership ... We’ve got workshops, worksheets, and coaching calls designed for this exact stage. Plus, plenty of stories from families who’ve been through it and can offer suggestions.

I wanted to work with someone more experienced to support my decision and reassure me during our transition to unschooling. I needed help staying in compliance in my school district. I needed more confidence in my decision too.

Coaching with Sue is a worthwhile investment because she's done it herself. She is an excellent encourager and was a tremendous help in reminding me of the bigger picture. She’s cheerful and understanding and wise. She has a very good grasp of the unschooling landscape. I'm so pleased to have worked with her through my beginner jitters. She is the voice of experience who helped us get of to a good feeling and stable start.

If you’re not sure about coaching, consider the value of having someone on your team. Sue can help you get to a place where you can truly experience all the benefits of the unschooling lifestyle. Most importantly, she can help you through the transition to living more authentically with your family.

~Stevie, VA

Stage 4: Parenting Obstacles

You’re not really worried about the academics anymore. But the everyday stuff? Still hard. Screens, chores, attitudes, messes, family dynamics—this is where it gets real.

You might be:

Wondering how to handle electronics or bedtimes
Struggling with sibling stuff or messy rooms
Unsure how to parent without punishments or control
Wanting more peace, but not sure how to get there

Sometimes our big hesitations aren't really about the learning aspects at all. We see the benefits of unschooling and struggle with how to apply the principles to our parenting options. From technology use to cooperation in the home - we dive in and figure out how to partner better with our children.

What helps right now:

Learning to partner with your kids (not just “manage” them)
Honest stories about what works—and what doesn’t
Looking at what’s underneath the behavior, not just reacting to it

�� Coaching calls and shared experience in the Sue's Creating Confidence Membership give you real strategies—not advice from a textbook, but from real life.

I needed help from someone with grown unschoolers who could guide me through this particular age and issues.
I was familiar with her previous advice to other parents via Facebook and also, knowing she had three grown unschoolers allowing for three different personalities/paths.
Sue listens! She roots out the triggers, provides objective views and offers solutions that you wouldn't see because you aren't "there" yet or you're mired in emotion. She gave me a new perspective and renewed confidence in my role - plus understanding this age (18) and her need for attachment but also independence is normal but can be hard for both parent and child, even with unschooling.

Don’t hesitate to get Sue’s help!

~Melissa, Maryland

Stage 5: Settling into a New Normal

You’ve found your rhythm. You trust the process. You’re not easily thrown anymore—but you still value connection. And you know that new seasons bring new questions. Problem is, there aren't enough people in your local community who get it, let alone unschool.

You might be:

Feeling steady in your unschooling path
Looking for deeper conversations
Supporting others who are just starting
Wondering how to handle the teen years with the same approach

If you're feeling isolated, this private unschooling community can help so much. Even experienced unschoolers can sometimes need to revisit some of the other stumbling blocks as their kids get older.
Things change. Kids change. Our parenting changes too. It's great to be in a place that has handy access to materials based on the problem that has emerged. It's so important to have an unschooling community you know and can talk with you about the options.

What helps right now:

A supportive home base of like-minded parents
Conversations that go beyond the basics
Resources for teen years, shifting roles, and evolving needs

�� Lot's of longterm unschoolers stay in Sue's membership group. It allows them to tap into the resources as needed. This stage becomes about continuing the work—not from a place of stress, but from a desire to keep showing up with intention.

YOU'LL LOVE SUE'S MEMBERSHIP GROUP!

Sue is absolutely fabulous and her group (and her management of it) is beyond extraordinary! ~Kat

You'll love the people!

The people are my favorite part of being in the membership group. I know there are always others who have gone through my issues, they're always supportive, and Sue always has great advice. You come away feeling so much better and confident after the coaching calls. I know that the ultimate goal is to be at the point where we are confident and possess the knowledge and tools to do this well. Sue and the group have ABSOLUTELY gotten us down that path! ~Kelli, Canada

You’re Not Behind

There’s no race. No prize for getting through the stages quickly.

In fact, most of us revisit them again and again as life changes.

Now's a GREAT WEEK to join Sue's Creating Confidence membership group!

Read more about the membership - but don't miss out on the sale price this week!

Deschooling - But What Do We DO?

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 19:02:56 GMT

Deschooling doesn’t hold our attention for long — especially when fear jumps in and tells us we’re doing it wrong.
But here’s what I’ve learned after nearly 30 years of unschooling:

5 Quick Reasons to Prioritize Deschooling Weekly:

Old school habits are sneaky — and fear thrives on them.
Most unschooling struggles actually trace back to incomplete deschooling.
You’re not just changing methods — you’re undoing decades of conditioning.
Deschooling improves connection, not just education.
Your life keeps changing — and so should your lens.

NEW!

Each week, I’ll send you a little email to help you keep moving forward — no guilt, no overwhelm. Just 5–10 minutes to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with this powerful shift you’re making.

Wish you had weekly encouragement from Sue Patterson?

Video Transcript:

I think one of the hardest things to do, when people first leave the school system, is relax into this new way of living with children. We’re so compelled to follow schedules and plans and “what’s next???” that we forget how that isn’t a natural way to approach life. We’re continuing to deschool but we’re wondering - What do we DO?

We’re approaching parenting and educating our children as if we’re in a work setting: Goals, plans, projections. Our own school experience conditioned us to do that, no doubt. But home is not the same as work. It’s hard to shift gears from planning and laying it all out. That feels familiar.

There ARE lots of moving parts, so I’m not saying you don’t need to get organized.

But WHAT you’re organizing is different when you’re unschooling.

And whats challenging about deschooling, is that we're tuning in to the here and now.

The answers to our “What Next?” question... isn’t going to be in a calendar or curriculum.

The only way you’re going to KNOW what to do next. Is consulting that child standing in front of.us

And...another complication: they may not know.

The may have had a lot of school indoctrination, and think you have to help them move in that direction.

They change over time... but if you focus on the basic connections you’ll be able to pivot and do what’s needed. You’ll see what’s needed, and you’ll move in that direction.

Which brings me to the key you need.

Partnering with the kids.

Every family is going to do this differently. Every child and every parent brings personalities and interests, preferences, likes and dislikes. But when you Partner with them... you get access to that information. You get access to information about yourself too that you maybe didn’t realize because you were distracted by checking boxes and doing someone else’s agenda.

Partnering when it comes to parenting has to do with walking alongside our children. It’s moving away from coercion being the motivator - and helping a child learn more about autonomy. Sometimes this is hard because no one did this with us when we were younger. So we’re learning right alongside them. So yes, it will take some self-examing on our parts as we help our kids navigate the path.

A Few Quick Suggestions

...for moving in this direction

Listen More and talk less.

Not only is this a great tool to show our kids to help them learn, but it will give us more access to what’s going on with them So often, we THINK we know what motivated some behavior - but after listening, we see our first guess wasn’t right. Some adults have a habit of talking over the kids - it’s good to notice if this is something you could work on.

Trusting that everyone in the family has important things they'd like to do and say.

We can see on social media how often parents are dismissing our kids wants and needs. Partnering on this parenting path moves us in a different direction. Recognizing that they children in our family deserve to have their wants and needs valued too.

Another aspect of parenting in a partnership way is helping to create an environment where the kids can be successful. Giving them the space and the tools they need to bring an idea to life.

Most of us learned the opposite of this as children. But this might be a good exercise for some of you. See what it’s like to give your kids the last word in the argument.

This is really the bottom line: They love us. And we love them.
And all any of want, is to have the people that love us most, value our interests and listen to us when we talk.

�� I used to have chickens and guineas when we lived on a ranch. I wanted an excuse to use this guy.

I want us to get practical - what SPECIFICALLY are we supposed to be DOING while we’re deschooling - using this partnership principles?

Play more

Do you need more games? Cards/dice? Fun apps? Chalk, paint, tools to build? Just yesterday, Jackson, my 8yo grandson made this huge thing out of tape and paper and Post-it notes, and all my daughters’ Girl Scout badges that he taped onto notepaper. I think the point was turning it into a kite-like thing with a fan he found in the closet. I think there was some Minecraft connection too. I don’t really know what the point was. But we played with all those materials for a couple of hours.

And yes, there are little pieces all over my bedroom floor. I may NEVER know what all he learned from that.

But that’s not the important part.

Playing - taking an idea and moving it to reality. That's what matters.
It doesn’t always have to be board games. It can be forts out of cushions in the living room.

But if you need help embracing play - if this is something that’s hard for you - it IS for a lot of people - I’ll put some more links to dive deeper. Educational research supports the idea that Playing more is the right path to take for kids to learn.

Read/Listen:

When All They Want to Do is Play
Unschooling and Playtime

Enjoy your time with them.

So often, kids want time with their parents where they're not being instructed or hurried.
This may be a whole new way of approaching daily life with them!
You might be surprised how much easier it is to enjoy the experience when you've dropped a lot of unnecessary expectations.

Don’t be in such a rush that you skip past simply enjoying each other’s company. It can be as simple as a wink from across the room, snuggling next to them when they’re on the couch for a couple of minutes, taking them out for a dipped cone at Dairy Queen - whatever helps them see that you enjoy their company, that you like spending time with them.

Maybe it means saying something like, “ tell me more about that... ”
Or instead of going to the kitchen to start dinner or going to move the laundry. That little 5 minute interaction will be worth so much more in how your kid feels valued.

We resist, I think because we think it’s going to take a ton of time.
But they don’t need - or probably even want a TON of time from us... just 5 minutes more.

Home Environment: Set for Success!

How can you make their world sparkle more ? Literally or figuratively.
What would make their eyes light up? What would be so fun?
Putting up a tent in the living room?
Grabbing safari gear and putting on Jurassic Park music - or the movie?
Or Jumanji?
I’m ordering a neon sign for my grandson’s room that is a blue and green Among Us sign! He’ll be so excited.

I think when I first started this unschooling journy, I thought I’d sparkle up the subjects so they’d be more fun.

That’s not what I mean.

It’s sparkling up whatever brings them joy. It has zero to do with academics.

So don’t go in that direction. More joy means more connection.

More connection means more information for you so you can know how to add more resources or sparkle to their lives.

The goal is really a Full Rich Life.
Learning will be the byproduct of that - it's inevitable.

And each of us gets to determine how we interpret that - including our kids.
What would THEY consider wonderful?

So what do they enjoy? You may have to spend a lot of time observing them to see their preferences. They may not know what to suggest if you ask them to tell you. But these clues you’ll get from observing them will help you know more about them.

Brainstorm with the Kids

Brainstorm with them about activities they could do if they're bored.

Wander around the house with them to help them see what their options are.

When we first brought Michael home from school, he didn’t really know what to do with his time. He was so used to someone else (me, primarily) managing his time FOR him. So we went around room by room with a clipboard to see what’s something fun that he could do in his bedroom, or in the living room, or the kitchen, or the back yard, or the garage.

I’m not saying parents have to entertain their kids all day long - but they can help them get started, help them find things they may be overlooking or didn’t even realize they could do without you.

Helping them see all their choices will be empowering for them.

How about brainstorming about what the family can do together?
Do you need a game night ? Or a Movie Marathon ? Maybe Friday nights are good for Mario Kart?
Or learn some new card games?

Maybe a Make-Your-Own-Pizza night where everyone cooks together?

Or listening to an audio book all together with popcorn and hot cocoa - turn it into an event to do as a family.

Maybe you could go to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Pinterest boards for ideas.

I have boards like

Family Fun Nights
Cabin Fever Remedies
Staycation Ideas
Boards for so many things - If you need ideas, that’s a great place to go!

Out into the Community

Maybe you’ll be venturing beyond the backyard,and out into the community.
What would a tourist like to do? T
hat’s what your kids kind of are - and tey’re not going to know about interesting things that are within driving range, or when cool museums offer discounts, or even farther away. So Go to google and look up "365 Things to do with Kids in..." - whatever your nearest big city is. I’ve seen 365 Things to Do with Kids in Austin or Memphis or Los Angeles. And when you put that in, you’ll get more links that are similar like Crazy Family Adventures or Family Fun in Atlanta.

You have tools to help you be a really great Tour Guide for your kids.

Maybe you’ll be adding in Community Service Projects to do together or Hikes you want to go on.

I have a couple of tools you can use.

Unschooling Mom2Mom on Pinterest and at the blog.
Remember about Googling fun options with your kids.

If you’re in the membership group , you have access to PDFs I've made to help you with brainstorming.
I’ll put those in our Circle.

If you’re not in the membership, the Brainstorming Guide is a great tool to help you when you’re brainstorming with the kids, prompt ideas, places to write down their suggestions, even more suggestions from me.
I really recommend that you use this to help you when you’re thinking,

"ok, so we’re not doing academics per se - and we’re deschooling - what ARE we doing instead?"
It will help you shift your focus away from the familiar schoolish approach to... everything... and over to individualizing for your own family. Brainstorming is the next step.

Be sure to hit the subscribe button and the bell to be notified when I put up another video.
I have a lot of ideas that can help you through this deschooling process and figuring out HOW to unschool the kids.

More Unschooling Resources:

Star Wars, Unschooling, and May 4th

Sun, 27 Apr 2025 17:42:22 GMT

Yes! Kids can learn a ton from watching Star Wars!

All these little pieces... even when it's just exposure... add up.

They help kids see,
"Hey, I like robotics."
or
"What's he talking about when they say the 'structural integrity of the ship?'"

Everything counts!
But sometimes it's hard to see.
And some of us are knee-deep in deschooling, so we need examples of how learning IS happening without us orchestrating it all.

Here are some examples of subjects weaving through a Star Wars movie.

⭐ MATH

- Geometric shapes and concepts (angles, symmetry and 3-D shapes}
- Sizes and proportion compariso up ns
- Speed, distance, time… estimating, measuring.
- Calculating the probability of success or failure
- The use of formulas, coordinates, analyzing patterns and making calculations are all components of algebra

⭐ SCIENCE

- Astronomy (planets, stars, moons, galaxies)
- Physics (gravity and magnetic forces.)
- Biology (adaptations of creatures and species to their environments)
- Robotics and Artificial intelligence
- Chemistry (atoms, elements, chemical reactions, crystals)
- Engineering (structural integrity of the spaceships, weapons, aerodynics)
- Genetics and ideas of inheriting certain traits.

⭐ TECHNOLOGY

- Special effects
- Graphic Design

⭐ SOCIAL STUDIES

- Human behavior
- Philosophy/ethics - good vs. evil
- Similarities and comparisons to historic wars
- Critical Thinking - consequences of actions

⭐ FINE ART

- Music and how it influences us
- Use of colors and shading
- Costuming
- Hair/makeup techniques

Just a couple things... right?

Homeschooling and Unschooling parents see these kinds of "learning objectives" for EVERY fun little celebration (like Star Wars Day!) in the Strewing Calendar! ��️

That's how I knew it was Star Wars Day! ��

And you won't miss these fun little celebrations - and opportunities to learn right alongside your kids!

Pinterest Ideas

Looking for fun ways to to bring Star Wars to life? I created a Pinterest Board for you!!!

Games
Foods
Crafts
Party Ideas

�� May the 4th Be With You! ��

Watch my Reel on Instagram

Unschoolers Learning about Shakespeare

Sun, 20 Apr 2025 19:52:14 GMT

Let’s be honest—Shakespeare can feel intimidating.

The language is different. The themes seem complex.

But that’s just how school framed it.

Unschoolers, on the other hand?

We get to approach Shakespeare with curiosity, creativity, and humor—especially on Talk Like Shakespeare Day (April 23rd)!

Instead of breaking it down line by line in a textbook, we bring it to life.

We talk like Shakespeare, watch the plays (and parodies), dive into dramatic reenactments, and explore the way his stories still shape the world today.

So how can you tap into this celebration—and let your kids learn through it all?

Talk Like Shakespeare Day

April 23rd

I've collected so many for you!!

Subject Areas That Naturally Surface

You don’t need a textbook or a classroom to learn from Shakespeare.
Your kids don’t have to understand every line—or even love every story.
But you and the kids can explore his work in playful, meaningful, and very real-life ways.

(Maybe we can undo some of your own anti-Shakespeare scarring
that school left you with!)

Apple Spotify YouTube

Here’s what they’re actually learning when you step into the world of Shakespeare with curiosity and creativity:

Language Arts

Vocabulary building – Shakespeare invented or popularized over 1,700 words! Kids absorb rich language just by hearing it in context.
Figurative language – Similes, metaphors, puns, alliteration, and imagery are everywhere.
Understanding tone and emotion – Through dramatic monologues, facial expressions, and even silly reenactments.
Writing inspiration – Kids can write their own sonnets, journal entries from a character’s POV, or their own Shakespearean insults or compliments! ( I have a bunch of tools at Pinterest! )

History & Culture

Elizabethan life – What was the world like when Shakespeare was alive? The clothes, the politics, the roles of men and women—it’s a fascinating peek into the past.
Theater history – The Globe Theatre, audience interactions, open-air performances.
Historical figures and events – Many plays were based (sometimes loosely!) on real kings, wars, and scandals. You can learn about the culture and monarcy of the Elizabethan era.
Life at the time - What WAS Life like during Shakespeare’s time? (plague, politics, class roles)
Globe Theatre - How was it operated?

Social Studies / Psychology

Human behavior – Why did Hamlet hesitate? Why did Lady Macbeth unravel? What does jealousy do to someone?
Ethical dilemmas – What would you do in that situation?
Power, betrayal, loyalty, and justice – Timeless themes that resonate in every generation.

Pop Culture & Media Literacy

Modern retellings – From 10 Things I Hate About You to The Lion King, Shakespeare is everywhere. See if you can spot references to Shakespeare in other work.
Parody and satire – SNL skits, YouTube reenactments, even meme culture use Shakespeare’s tropes.
Phrase origins – So many common expressions we use today came from his plays! How long can you go on Talk Like Shakespeare Day?

Fine Arts & Performance

Acting & voice work – Performing even a single line can help kids better understand emotion, tone, and language.
Set or costume design – Create paper crowns, royal scrolls, or designing their own stage.
Makeup & character creation – Especially fun with villains or ghosts!
Explore Music/Dance from the 1500s

�� Movies to Watch

Classic & Faithful Adaptations:

Much Ado About Nothing
(1993 – Kenneth Branagh & Emma Thompson)
Hamlet (1996 – Kenneth Branagh, full text)
Henry V (1989 – Kenneth Branagh)
The Taming of the Shrew
(1967 – Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton)

Modern Takes & Teen-Friendly Versions:

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
– based on The Taming of the Shrew
She’s the Man (2006) – inspired by Twelfth Night
The Lion King (1994) – loosely based on Hamlet
West Side Story (1961/2021)
– inspired by Romeo and Juliet
Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)
– animated fun with Romeo and Juliet

Parodies & Comedic Spins:

The Reduced Shakespeare Company – especially The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)
Strange Brew (1983) – comedic retelling of Hamlet
Any “Talk Like Shakespeare” YouTube challenge or TikTok trend

Shorts and Animations:

��️ Phrases We Still Say Today

Kids may be surprised to learn these came from Shakespeare:

“Break the ice”
(The Taming of the Shrew)
“Wild-goose chase”
(Romeo and Juliet)
“Green-eyed monster” (Othello)
“What’s done is done” (Macbeth)
“The world is your oyster”

(The Merry Wives of Windsor)

“Love is blind”

(The Merchant of Venice)

Once they see how much his words are still part of our language, Shakespeare feels a lot less distant.

�� 10 Unschooly Ways to Explore Shakespeare

Watch a cartoon version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Watch a kid-friendly YouTube summary or animated retelling of any of the plays.
Compare The Lion King to Hamlet
Create a comic strip or storybook version of a Shakespeare play
Try speaking in Shakespearean English for a silly family dinner or car ride.
Rewrite a scene in modern language--or text message format!
Send insults and compliments Shakesepeare-style!
Make paper masks and stage a mini scene with stuffed animals or Lego characters
Read a quote of the day and guess what it means - do the Emoji Game Sue made!
Watch 10 Things I Hate About You and spot the similarities to Taming of the Shrew

�� Bottom Line?

You don’t need to “get it all” to enjoy Shakespeare.

Kids don’t need to be older, serious, or scholarly.
They just need a doorway into the world—and then they can explore it in their own way.

For unschoolers, Shakespeare is just another rich world to dip into.
Maybe it sparks a deep dive...or maybe it’s a fun afternoon and a few new phrases.

Either way, it counts.

5 Ways to Know They're Learning If We Unschool

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 22:28:33 GMT

One of the Most Common Questions

...when parents consider stepping away from school or a traditional homeschooling approach:

"How will I KNOW

they're learning if we unschool?"

The truth is, learning looks a little different outside of traditional systems—but it's still happening all the time. You just need to know where to look.

So that's why I want to give you:

5 Real-Life Ways

To Know Your Unschooled Child Is Actually Learning

But first...

If you’re new here, I’m Sue Patterson, your host at all things Unschooling Mom2Mom. I'm here chatting with you each week, offering a quick unschooling pep talk. I want to help parents see unschooling as a way they can help their kids learn and still be able to live a life with less unnecessary power struggles. So many of those school expectations never translated into our own adult lives - we don’t need to continue to duplicate them with our kids. They’ll still be successful adults. And when we can prioritize partnering with them, they’ll learn more about themselves and how to move through the world.

We don’t have to duplicate school for kids to have successful adulthoods.
And... we can prioritize partnering with them - so they can learn more about themselves and how to move through the world.

I have coaching programs , memberships , courses , books , guides - all the things to help you do this. You just have to find how you learn best and tap into it. I also have a free email list where you can get discounts and tips - you’ll want to sign up for that.

OK... let’s get back to this week’s unschooling topic...

How will we know the kids are learning
if we take this unconventional approach to homeschooling?

1. Talking with Them More

Surprising Conversations Happen..." How Did You Know That?"
You know that universal parenting moment when your child says something unexpectedly insightful or fact-filled, and you find yourself spinning around, asking,
"Wait... how did you know that?"

That’s learning. Pure and simple.

Whether it's a fun fact about black holes, a deep thought about human behavior, or a self-created theory on how something works, these moments are evidence of curiosity-driven learning at work. Their brains are constantly taking in information from YouTube videos, podcasts, games, conversations, and life—processing it in real time.

Pay attention to the little comments. Learning is often hiding in plain sight.

2. Ask about their Passions and Interests

Find out More about What They Love — And Really Listen
When a child is genuinely interested in something, they want to talk about it. Invite them to tell you about their latest interest—whether it’s Minecraft, ancient mythology, engines, or Mr. Beast.

As they share, listen for:

Expanded vocabulary
Clearer, more organized thinking
Descriptive language and enthusiasm

You’ll notice how much they know, and how deeply they understand it. They might not be filling out worksheets—because they didn’t need those to learn. That was for school’s benefit, to check a box. To confirm that the information had been transferred from teacher to learner.

With unschooling, the learning starts with the learner—and ripples outward. It’s more about mastering ideas, connecting dots, and learning to communicate with clarity and confidence. And that communication? That's how we, as parents, know they’re learning.

3. Discuss Movies Differently

Philosophy, history, ethics—all from the couch.

Movies and shows are rich ground for learning when you engage with them a little more deeply. Try questions like:

What was happening in that time period?
Why do you think the character made that choice?
What were the societal norms then? Would that still be okay today?
What would you do if that happened here?

This kind of conversation builds critical thinking, empathy, ethical reasoning, and cultural awareness. It turns casual “screen time” into meaningful engagement. AND it gives you the insight into how your child is processing information and analyzing the world around them.

4. Watch and Wonder Together

Science and Nature — in real life and shows!

Documentaries, science shows, nature series—these are incredible springboards for curiosity. Watching together creates space to pause, rewind, and talk about it. You don’t have to quiz them—just wonder out loud with them.

Ask questions like:

Why do you think that animal does that?
What would happen if the environment changed?
Can you imagine what it’d be like to be that scientist?

But it doesn’t stop there. Sometimes you’ll spot something outside—a weird bug, an odd cloud, or a strange animal behavior—and come home to Google it together. That’s unschooling in action: noticing the world, asking questions, and diving deeper just because you're curious.

You don’t have to quiz them on any of this. Just stay curious together. Learning shows up in their reactions, their wonder, their questions afterward.

5. Learning is Incremental

Learning is layered and not always visible

In school, we’re trained to think learning only counts if we can see it in a finished product—a test, a paper, a worksheet. We’re taught that learning only happens when we “show our work” and there’s visible proof.

Unschooling invites us to look at learning more like building a house. You don’t see the foundation being poured, but it’s essential. Bricks go in one by one. Wiring and plumbing get hidden inside walls. It might look like "nothing" is happening for a while—but suddenly, there it is: a structure with strength and purpose.

The same is true for unschooling. Learning isn’t always linear or measurable in the moment. It often is happening below the surface. But trust that your child’s brain is making necessary connections, seeking challenges, and layering knowledge bit by bit. When you can step back, you can realize how much has been built.

Keep the long view. Learning is happening, even if it doesn’t look like school.

#6 Bonus: Document the Journey

(Just for your peace of mind)

You don’t need to document learning for someone else—It doesn’t even have anything to do with your child’s learning process. But having a little something to remind yourself can be a powerful tool for easing doubt.

Keep a learning journal, photo log, or family Instagram account (private or public).
Jot down little "a-ha!" moments, interesting questions your child asks, projects they tinker with, books they read (or ask you to read aloud). Snap photos of art projects or books, jot down great questions your child asks, save screenshots of fascinating Google rabbit holes.

If it helps, you can even organize it with a more schooly feel—tabs for Language Arts, Science, Social Studies—just so you can see where everything fits. We talked about this on the Wednesday coaching call in my membership group this week - using that new feature in Google Drive documents.

Even as unschoolers, we sometimes have moments of worry. Having easy ways to record what’s really happening can reassure you when you’re having one of those middle of the night panic attack. You’ll have quick access to prove to yourself that they ARE learning - fear just made you dismiss it or forget about it.

Looking back over these kinds of documentations helps you see the pattern of learning more clearly over time. It's not to evaluate or measure them—it's to remind you that it’s all adding up.

And a Few More Real-Life Clues…

If you’re still wondering how to tell if learning is happening, look for these real-life signs too:

They ask thoughtful—or surprising—questions
Curiosity is one of the clearest indicators of learning. When your child is asking
“Why does that happen?” or “What if we tried this instead?” —they’re engaging, thinking, and exploring.
They make connections between things
Like noticing how a story reminds them of a game they played, or how a YouTuber used a strategy they learned somewhere else. Those connections mean knowledge is sticking and expanding.
They explain things in their own words
Whether they’re telling a friend how clouds work or explaining a video game strategy to you, teaching something shows real understanding.
They solve problems creatively
That’s learning in action. Figuring things out their own way—even silly or simple things—means their brain is working on it.
They dive into something just because it’s fun
Following an interest and going deep into it? That’s self-directed learning at its finest.

So if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “ But how do I know if we’re doing enough?”
—take a breath.

Chances are, your child is showing you signs of learning every single day.
You may just need to shift how you're noticing it.

You don’t need tests or checklists to prove it—though if it makes you feel better, you can jot things down in your phone or planner. But over time, you'll grow more confident in seeing the signs without needing that validation.

Because the signs are there. You may just need to retrain your eyes to see them.
The world is your child’s classroom now —and EVERYTHING COUNTS!
Learning is happening—in their questions, their connections, their problem-solving, their play, and their passions.
And every moment—big or small—can lead to learning.

Trust the process. Trust your child. Do a little more deschooling . You’ve got this.

Unschooling by Subjects in the Spring?

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 16:04:32 GMT

Here's how to use Spring when you're nervous about unschooling.

Many unschooling parents still have a little voice in the back of their mind whispering:

"But are we covering the subjects?"

It’s totally normal to feel that way—especially if you grew up in a traditional school system where learning was divided into neat categories: Language Arts, Math, Science, Social Studies, Fine Arts...

So let’s walk through how each of these “subjects” can naturally show up in your child’s life this spring—no curriculum required.

Spoiler alert: You’re probably doing way more than you realize!

�� Need a Little More Support This Spring?

If you’re craving a bit of structure that still feels unschooly , I’ve got just the thing.

The Spring Unschooling Guide is now available!

You’ll get:

65 beautifully designed pages
Ideas organized by subject—just like you see here!
16 spring holidays to explore
Games, humor, and creative inspiration
12 weeks of journal pages to document your journey

Creating Confidence Community Members receive this
(and all Unschooling Guides & Ebooks for FREE! ��

�� Language Arts in the Spring

Language Arts doesn’t have to mean essays and grammar tests. In unschooling, it often looks like:

Listening to poems about rainy days or blooming flowers
Creating nature scavenger hunt lists
Reading stories or myths tied to spring holidays
Journaling about daily adventures or changes in the weather
Expanding vocabulary because of words that pop up in Spring

Language is everywhere—especially when it connects to things your child cares about.

�� Math in the Real World

Math in the spring can be deliciously hands-on:

Measuring distances for planting seeds
Tracking growth in a garden journal
Budgeting for a hobby
Exploring fractions while baking
Spotting patterns in petals, pinecones, or butterfly wings

No flashcards needed—just a little curiosity and some real-world applications.

��️ Science That’s All Around Us

Spring is basically science’s favorite season!

Try exploring:

Life cycles of frogs, flowers, or butterflies
Cloud watching and learning about weather patterns
How pollination works—observe bees in action! and watch more at YouTube!
Why some plants grow better in certain conditions
Composting and sustainability practices

Let your child ask questions and follow their wonder.

�� Social Studies Through Spring Celebrations

Social studies often comes alive through culture, community, and seasonal awareness:

Learn about spring holidays like Holi, Passover, Nowruz, or Easter
Visit farmers markets and talk with local vendors
Explore maps to see where migrating animals are heading
Read about Earth Day and youth activism
Create simple history projects around planting, traditions, or nature

Real people, real places, real history—that’s social studies in unschooling.

�� Fine Arts—Naturally!

Spring is a feast for the senses, making it a perfect time for creativity:

Painting with flower petals or homemade dyes
Sketching plants or springtime scenes outdoors
Making wind chimes or nature-based crafts
Dancing or making up songs inspired by the season - with butterfly or ladybug wings!
Attending or creating your own mini outdoor art show

Art is expression—and kids thrive when given space to create freely.

"I like this, but how do I shift my own mindset about it?"

Glad you asked! You do it with others who are doing the same thing.

Test the waters! 7 day Free Trial.
Encouraging voice notes, tips, and inspiration to help keep you moving in the unschooling direction.

Tired of figuring this out alone?
Sue and her private community of unschooling parents can help you feel more confident and less isolated!

Final Thoughts

You are covering the subjects.
They’re just showing up in real life, in beautiful, unexpected ways.

When you start to trust that, everything changes.

Let spring remind you: learning blossoms when we give it time, space, and a little sunshine.

Want more ideas like this?
I have all sorts of ways to get you weeky encouragement and real-world unschooling tips!

Join my email list (discounts and freebies here!)
Subscribe to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast ( Apple , Spotify )
Subscribe at YouTube
Follow along on Instagram or Facebook

Let the seasons guide you—and enjoy the learning that blooms along the way. ��

More:

10 Reasons Spring is for Unschoolers

Seasonal Unschooling (looking for other seasons?)

Pi Day - The Quintessential Homeschool Holiday

Thu, 13 Mar 2025 20:06:52 GMT

Podcast Show Notes:

Pi Day is this week - March 14th.

And if you’re new to all of this, you may not realize it’s somewhat of a
Quintessential Homeschooling Holiday.
Even before social media, we passed around ideas for activities we could do with the kids to celebrate.

Maybe because it’s so concrete, or because it harkened back to homeroom parties or classroom events like Valentine’s Day, or maybe it’s an attempt to make learning geometry fun by tying the Greek alphabet letter Pi to PIE as the dessert. But that’s what I want to talk to you about this week. Ways to celebrate with your kids, why Pi Day even exists, and ways you might want to celebrate with your own kids.

Welcome to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast!

If you’re new to the podcast, Hi! I’m Sue Patterson, your host here and at all things Unschooling Mom2Mom.

I create resources to help parents embrace unschooling as a way to learn and live withyour kids - in ways that don’t include power struggles or tears or the school expectations that never really translated into our adult lives.
We don’t have to duplicate school for kids to have successful adulthoods. And... we can prioritize partnering with them - so they can learn more about themselves and how to move through the world.

I have coaching programs , memberships , courses , books , guides - all the things to help you do this. You just have to find how you learn best and tap into it. Maybe it’s podcasts like this or videos at YouTube - I have those too!
So be sure to subscribe , and let me know how you’re doing! Really! I want to know!

But today, we’re talking Pi Day.

And I already know that because this topic is math-related, a lot of people are tuning out. So many of us have math anxiety - probably from how schools taught us! And, whenever something is uncomfortable, we tend to want to move away from it. But this is under 10 minutes long, so stick with me.

Not only can I explain a little more about Pi Day, but we might actually be helping you dismantle your own math phobia!

So, each March, math geeks and pie lovers converge to celebrate Pi Day!
Mathematically speaking, the date March 14th is chosen because Pi = 3.14+
It’s the third month, 14th day.
It’s also Einstein’s birthday , so that’s an added layer.
And I just recently learned it’s Stephen Curry’s birthday too - cool for the basketball fans at your house. (sorry about mispronoucing his name on the podcast!)

Pi is what’s used in geometry to determine measurements of a circle. I have some quick videos you could watch over at the blogpost, if you’re not sure you remember from your own school days.

As I said, Quintessential Homeschool Holiday.
And we did it, when my kids were younger. We baked pies and put the Pi Symbol in crust on top or cut it somehow so it would show. We had Pizza Pies for dinner.

But as unschoolers, we weren’t really studying geometry as a subject. We weren’t trying to find a fun way to learn about the ratio of the circle’s diameter to it’s circumference. Honestly, my kids kind of shrugged it off - but wanted to enjoy the pie, so I think they indulged me.

For me though, Pi (as the math constant) isn’t one of those things that has come up a lot in my adult life. I did want my kids to have a passing awareness if someone said:

"Yeah, but did you know it’s Pi Day?”

Maybe school kids get a few minutes dedicated to PiDay - or maybe math teachers are going all out. But in my Real Life, this version of Pi wasn’t showing up a lot. It seemed a little artificial to me.

Interestingly, when I was looking to see if any new Pi Day memes have been created, (I have over a 100 of them over at the blogpost - I’ll link it in the shownotes.) Because meme-makers CERTAINLY tapped into this Pi Day idea.

And I discovered that Pi Day is an “official” national holiday. Not one where the post offices close - but in 2009, it became official. So I started digging around to see why that was? You know, the curiosity of an unschooling mom… I can’t help myself.

And back in 1988, the staff of the big Exploratorium Museum in San Francisco had gathered to soul search and brainstorm at a retreat in Monterrey. The museum was founded by Frank Oppenheimer - yes, that famous family. He was the younger brother of the more famous Robert Oppenheimer, but also a scientist. He had died a few years prior and the staff was trying to find their way. So it was at this retreat that another physicist who had worked at the Exploratorium, noticed the correlation between March 14 and the 3.14 of Pi. It’s an irrational number, the numbers beyond that 4 don’t repeat and go on and on.

So, as the story goes, they decided to create an event, and set up a table on the museum’s top floor. At 1:59 pm (the numbers that follow 3.14) they brought out fruit pies and encouraged everyone to celebrate the first Pi Day.

A few year’s later, this scientist, Larry, also known as The Prince of Pi - his daughter noticed that it was also

Einstein's birthday (b. 1879) so that added a new layer to the celebration.

Larry then created and installed the "Pi Shrine," a circular brass plaque, in the center of a circular classroom constructed of circular cinderblocks. He led a winding parade around the museum with his boombox blaring the digits of π to the music of "Pomp and Circumstance." The parade ending by circumnavigating the Pi Shrine 3.14 times while singing "Happy Birthday" to Albert Einstein. �� [ Source: A Slice of Pi Day History ]

So… there you have it!

And lest you think, “No… that’s too schooly, we’re unschoolers, we’re not doing that,”
I want to remind you that people celebrate all kinds of random things.

My Strewing Calendar is full of random celebrations every day of the year.

Maybe you celebrate Parfaits for Breakfast day, or the anniversary of the first flight at Kitty Hawk.

Maybe you add a few phrases when it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day,

or you say, “May the 4th Be With You” on Star Wars Day..

So why NOT Pi Day?

Because it’s math? And that’s too spooky?

Too connected to bad feelings in your school experience?
Let’s skip over that.

Over at the website, I did find more memes. Mainly puns, snarky humor. I have it at the end of the video I did one year - but maybe I just need all of them on a video of their own. That way you can put it on the TV while the kids eat pie, and you can watch one after the other!

And you can play songs about Pi, whether it’s American Pie, or Cherry Pie, I looked at the Billboard’s Hit 100 for Pi Day and created a playlist for us at YouTube. I didn't include all of Billboards, because... well, you might see why when you look. But the 20 song playlist I created for us, has a lot of kid-friendly songs + a few not-so-little-kid-ish. I may just put it on Spotify. Let me know what you think.

And when you see people on social media making references to Pi Day, you can join the fun.

You can take photos of your kids celebrating - and if you do, tag me, so I can see them!

�� Maybe Fruit pies for breakfast...
�� Oatmeal pies or Moon pies for snacks...

�� Meat pies or Frito Pies or Pizza pies for dinner...

You have a lot of options. ��

You could get the kids to help you bake a pie. Or you could go to the store and maybe see references to Pi Day - I saw a meme where a store decided their premade pies were all $3.14!

You could do a pie tasting comparison at exactly 1:59 in the afternoon.

You could text memes or Pi Jokes to your teens. Yes, they’ll roll their eyes - but who doesn’t roll their eyes at puns?
Or send them some of the memes below.

I have a links to Pi Scavenger hunt s, where they can go looking for circles or measuring things that are 3.14 inches or weigh 3.14 on the scale. Or noticing the March 14th on the calendar and seeing that that’s 3.14.

Language Arts & Pi?

But actually, as you talk about Pi Day - however briefly - new vocabulary words get introduced into their world.

Words like:

Circumference and radius,
Einstein and Oppenheimer,
Irrational numbers,
Why Pi sometimes has an “e” and the end, but this time doesn’t.

Unschooling is ALL about making connections between things - and Pi Day can be a great jumping off place. No, it probably won’t look like school. They may have very little interest in learning about π R2.

Maybe you could just write these words up on a big whiteboard.

Put Pi Day at the top, and then write them underneath.

Encourage the kids to draw pies, or list out their favorites.

There’s something called PiKu - like Haiku - I have examples of this at the Pi Day blogpost .
I've linked to videos there where you could share about how Pi works, even a Dr. Seuss book about PiDay.

You could watch Life of Pi or other movies for Pi Day:

Pi (1998)
Good Will Hunting (1997)
Hidden Figures (2016)
Flatland: The Movie (2007)
American Pie (1999)
The Man Who Knew Infinity (2015)

[ 10 Best Movies to Watch for Pi Day or 9 Films about Math or Mathematicians ]

I even found a link to 17 food deals you can snag on Pi Day !!!

✔️ With these activities, even the most nervous among us can check the boxes for language arts, math (obv!), social studies, science and nutrition!

So enjoy Pi Day. Don’t worry if you have more enthusiasm for it than your kids - that’s ok.
Successful unschooling parents often have an insatiable curiosity for information - and the quirkier the better!

If your kids are flat out bored with the idea - that’s ok too.
I recorded a video about that - the Reality Check of Pi Day . You might need to go there next.

Or just dive in!

Enjoy your pi and I’ll be back next week with another unschooling peptalk.

MEMES 4 U

The Art of Noticing & Individualizing: Secrets from Stage Managers

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 06:40:38 GMT

Welcome back to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast!

Today we’re talking about something that makes unschooling truly unique— real individualization .

If you’ve ever had kids in school or followed a traditional homeschool approach, you’ve probably heard the phrase individualized learning thrown around. Schools claim to offer it. Homeschool curriculums promise it.

But most of the time? It’s just a fancy way of saying,
"We’ll let kids go a little faster or slower, but they’re still on the same predetermined track."

That’s not real individualization. That’s lip service.

Unschooling? It fully embraces the idea.

Before we dive in, be sure to click the subscribe button if you’re at YouTube , or any of the other platforms you’re using. This helps the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast reach more parents who are struggling. It can be your little part to help spread the word! I’m here every week, creating these 10 minute peptalks to help you on your unschooling journey.

My own three kids are grown now, and I’ve seen what worked and what didn’t. People helped me figure this out - and so that’s what I want to do too - for you! Unschooling really does work. And I have so many resources for you to tap into - it all depends on how WE learn best too - in community conversations, with courses or coaching , reading ebooks or guides , watching videos, listening to podcasts.

This is the start of Season 5 - and we have over 330K downloads. Just you and me chatting each week for 4 YEARS now. It’s been so fun - I hope you’re loving it as much as i do! I'd love to hear from you in the comments - I read every one of them!

And one thing we’re going to do differently with Season 5,
is I want to help those of you who are DIYing your way through this unschooling process.

Wherever possible, I’m going to create a PDF that is SPECIFIC to the topics of the podcast.

I have one for you today! Right here!

OK, so back to this art of noticing and individualizing learning. This is what truly sets unschooling apart - this deep individualization.

Not the kind of learning where you tweak a curriculum here and there, but the kind where your child’s learning is entirely shaped by who they are, how they think, and what lights them up.

Because let’s be real—that’s not something a standardized curriculum can give you. It’s not something a school can provide, and honestly, it’s not something most traditional homeschooling methods achieve either. Because the heart of true individualization isn’t about picking the right program—it’s about tuning in to your child.

When kids are free to learn outside of standardized structures, they naturally move in the direction their brain wants to go. Science tells us that. Each brain is unique, each family is different.

And that’s the heart of unschooling.

Embracing this, is the real work for parents.

It’s not about guiding, instructing, or pushing. It’s shifting away from trying to control it all. It’s about becoming really good at something else: noticing.

And...that changes everything.

Noticing vs. Directing

A lot of us were raised to believe that teaching means telling—directing, guiding, making sure our kids are always moving forward toward something . But what if that’s not actually how learning works best?

What if our job as unschooling parents isn’t to direct, but to notice ?

�� Noticing what excites our kids.
�� Noticing what makes them pause and think.
�� Noticing what they avoid—and why.

And when we get better at noticing, we realize that learning isn’t something we have to force.
It’s already happening. It’s already unfolding in front of us.

Instead of controlling and orchestrating, our job becomes more about slowing down and tuning in .
It’s about being present, being aware, and understanding that the child standing in front of us is constantly giving us clues about what’s important to them.

And this is where one of my favorite metaphors for unschooling comes in...

The Theatre!

When my kids were little, they watched this version of Pinocchio so often,
that they'd refer to "The Theatre" in this same flamboyant tone!! ��

What does Theatre have to do with Unschooling?

When my kids were younger, they were heavily involved in community theatre. And like any dedicated mom, I got involved too—running lights, working backstage, making sure the show went on without a hitch.

And when I look back, I see such a powerful connection between theatre and the way kids truly learn best through unschooling.

In school—or even in traditional homeschooling—parents and teachers often take on the role of Director. They decide what’s going to be learned, how it will be taught, and when the “performance” happens. They call the shots and expect the kids to follow along.

But here’s the thing— good directors don’t micromanage. They give actors room to explore, to find their own way of delivering a line, of stepping into their role. That’s when the real magic happens.

And in unschooling, guess what?
Your child is the star of the show.
They don’t want to be micromanaged either.

And your role?
You’re not the Director.
You’re the Stage Manager.

A good Stage Manager isn’t the one dictating what happens. They’re the one who notices what’s needed before anyone else does. They set the stage, yes, and they’re also constantly observing, making adjustments, solving problems before they even arise.

They make sure the right props are in place.
They help with costume changes when needed.
They support the actors without stealing the spotlight.

And the best Stage Managers don’t just react to problems—they anticipate them. They notice when something is slightly off before it turns into a crisis. They see the little details others overlook.

And that’s exactly what unschooling parents learn to do:

We notice when our kids are struggling—not so we can force them onto a new track, but so we can offer support if they need it.
We notice when they’re lit up by something—not so we can turn it into a formal lesson, but so we can give them more opportunities to explore.
We notice when their interests shift—not so we can redirect them, but so we can trust that their learning is naturally evolving.

The show runs so much more smoothly when we step into that role. Not as the Director. Not as the Lead. But as the one behind the scenes, paying attention, and being ready to support when needed.

Trusting the Brain’s Natural Learning Path

This is where deschooling comes in—because when parents first start unschooling, we don’t always trust that learning is happening. We’re so used to measuring and tracking, so used to thinking that progress has to be directed, that we don’t know how to just let it be.

But once you’ve deschooled for a while?
You realize that the learner is already moving in the direction their brain wants to go.

Not where a curriculum says they should go.
Not where an adult thinks they need to be.
But where their own natural curiosity and internal drive is leading them.

And when we step back and trust that?

Learning becomes deeper, and richer, and more meaningful than anything a pre-planned curriculum could offer.

This Shift Takes Time

Now, I want to be really clear—this isn’t something that happens overnight.

We’ve all been conditioned to believe that kids need to be taught in order to learn.
That if we’re not directing, guiding, or pushing, they’ll just... stop.

But that’s simply not true.

Unschooling works best when parents learn to pay attention rather than take control.

And if you’re still in the process of shifting to that mindset, I have the link to a Free PDF to help you with this. Be sure to grab that while this is all fresh in your mind.

And if you learn better with other people around, we’ll be talking about this more in my membership group.
You don’t have to do any of this alone. Being part of a community of like-minded parents could make all the difference.

Join Us for More Support

We’ve just added Virtual Park Days and Moms’ Nights Out to the membership program - so you can connect with other unschooling families in real time.

Because having a place to ask questions, share wins, and see what’s possible makes this journey so much easier.

So if you’re ready to step into the role of Stage Manager—if you’re ready to trust, notice, and support rather than direct—come join us. We’d love to have you.

That’s all for today! Thanks for being here, and I’ll see you next time.

Can We Talk?

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 17:17:01 GMT

If you're a homeschooling parent who is STRUGGLING, let's talk about some solutions that could make this experience better. We can even talk about why you hesitate to embrace unschooling:

�� Worrying about gaps?

�� Getting into college?

��‍♀️ Wondering how you'll know if they're learning?
�� Hating the idea of feeling isolated?

That's what today's Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast is all about!

The big questions that I’m hearing this week are about homeschooling moms who are ready to give unschooling a shot.

They’ve tried everything else - so funny how hard some people cling to those stories that this all has to look like some version of school. But they - maybe you too - have come to the end of the line.

Either you’ve tried it all or the kids have finally gotten strong enough to simply flat out refuse. Or maybe there are more tears than there should be - theirs AND yours. That’s not what you started this for! Power struggles and hating it all by the end of the day?

So I want to talk to you about shifting to unschooling and HOW you can really do that.

Hello and Welcome!

If you’re new here, hello! I’m Sue Patterson, the human behind all things Unschooling Mom2Mom. My own unschooled kids are all grown - all in their 30s - 2 have birthdays this week turning 31 and 34, the 3rd is later in march, turning 36! That’s a lot of life experience I can share with you - and why I try to do this as a quick unschooling peptalk every week.

Unschooling was an unexpected path for us - and I’m so glad we stumbled onto it! I want to help you see that it can work for your family too.

So I want to talk to you about shifting to unschooling and HOW you can really do that.

And you’re not going to believe this - it was a shocker to me too - but next week is our Unschooling Mom2Mom PodcastAnniversary!

Entering our 5th year - I’ve done 164 episodes and we’ve had 330K downloads since we started.

No ads. No guests. Just you and me here. Chatting.

And a little tip jar, if you’re so inclined.

I don’t know if you know this, but I have no big strategy when it comes to these podcasts. I TRY to lay out a plan for the month, but something always gets in the way. Either some question rolls in a few times and then suddenly THAT’S what I want to talk to you about. My Marketing coach, Gwen Montoya, if you have a small business, you want her on your team, she tries to remind me that creating a plan for it all would be a better tactic - and while I agree, I just can’t seem to ever pull it off. So maybe I should embrace the spontaneity of it all . Feel free to leave a comment about what you’d like to hear! I’ll probably take you up on it!

About a year ago, I did Podcast #124 about Switching from Homeschooling to Unschooling .
I even converted it to a video, if you’d like to see it. �� Watch the Video!

I gave you 5 Steps to Start if you’re ready to make the leap from the conventional homeschooling style - to this unconventional approach:

You don’t have to use the word “Unschooilng” if it bugs you. "Oh! That Word!"
You're going to have to go back to deschooling .... Truthfully, that’s what’s been your big hurdle all this time.
Talk Less, Listen More :)
Get clear on "Your Why?"
Learn how to Brainstorm WITH the Kids

And those are still really great first steps. You can hop over to the other podcast transcript , because I’ll give you a little more information about those 5 steps, in case you missed it.

What's the Hesitation?

But today, let’s talk about overcoming that hesitation you have. We’re coming up to spring - and for those who have homeschooled more than a year, you know that this is the time communities really start buzzing about buying curriculum for next fall. Maybe this year didn’t go that well, but when we see that math program or that cool literature set - we are practically salivating! Maybe we WISH our own learning had looked more like this. Or Maybe we’re just victims of the marketing hype that promises your kids will be gleefully gobbling it all up, or maybe it says it will be easier, or will get your kids into college, or… something. Companies spend a LOT of money figuring out what your pain points are, and man, do they know how to hone in on them!

So let’s crank out some of those questions that pop up as you’re considering unschooling...

The biggest one is probably..

What about gaps?

Realistically though, none of us retained everything from our own school experience. Yet here we are.

Retention comes when a child is interested in the topic and, as the learner, they see the need to know it.
That doesn’t happen when you cram as much as you can in - regardless of the context or the desire.
We’re often pummeled with, “Someday they might need it!”

But if we focus on the topics the learner wants to know about now, and ripple out from there, our kids can amass a body of information that will really be useful for them. When we start thinking about way down the line, that’s fear. And it’s distracting us from what is important right now.

As kids explore and discover in the areas of their interests, they will inevitably bump into the need to know something we might consider as “The Basics.” That’s why we call them The Basics, because it keeps popping up. So then your child’s need to go further with their interest becomes the catalyst to learn the piece they didn’t know. And that’s how gaps fill in.

The other thing to remind yourself - information is everywhere. There’s no gatekeeping. No, “We have to try to remember this for when we go to the library on Thursday, where all the Information is.” We can google it right now. We can watch a quick youtube video. And then suddenly, gap filled. That’s ALWAYS available to us… at 9 at 19 at 29 - whenever we need it. Better to learn how to do that, and not just wait for some powers-that-be to spoonfeed it to us. The world is changing at record speed - let’s help the kids learn to adapt to it.

Unschooling allows kids to take initiative and really own their unique learning path.

Another question is:

How will I know if they’re learning?

Well, You’ll talk with them. You’ll have shared life experiences. Your life will look more like a family than a Teacher/Student relationship. Plus, you won’t be too worn out to do this with them, because you won’t be distracted by checking arbitrary boxes or dragging them from one lesson to the next. Learning and life is really all meshed together - and you’ll get to take advantage of that.

Testing and quizzes weren’t really invented for the benefit of the learner. It was for the teacher to gather hard data on the information presented. To Standardize everything so they can try to educate 20-24 kids at a time.. Or use as data to help them get a pay raise or help the school get funding. We don’t need tools like that, when conversations will suffice. We don’t need to peel back their scalp and check in on their brain - any more than we need to uproot a plant to see how the roots are progressing. We create a healthy environment and we will know they’re growing and learning and thriving.

Another question...

How will they get into college

as an unschooler, if they want a career that requires it?

This is easy. Unschoolers get into colleges and universities and trade schools all the time. Parents have to convert their unschooly life into educational jargon, but it’s not hard. And I have transcript courses and tools to help you do this when you’re ready.

The last question for today is,

How do I cope if I’m the only unschooler in my area?

Sometimes, they’re there and you don’t realize it. But diving into kid interests that aren’t academically-focused can lure them out of the shadows. It may be about creating the community you want to see. I have some podcasts about that, and more resources to help you. We moved a lot as a military family, and I had a LOT of experience creating communities wherever we went.

And sometimes, you need your community to be online. My membership group is going to start having Virtual Park Days and Virtual Moms Night Out - or maybe that’s really more of a Moms Night IN! So you could tap into that if you feel isolated.

You have options!

And while it might feel scary at first, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard someone say,

“I wish I had been braver sooner.” or

“I wish I hadn’t stuck with the ways that weren’t working for so long.”

“It ended up putting unnecessary obstacles in our relationship that had a negative impact.”

Remember, Nothing is in stone... when I first started homeschooling, I thought, “We’ll try this for a little while and then we’ll go back.” We didn’t. And then when I was switching to unschooling, I hesitated to even call us that, because I kept thinking, “Well, for right now, it works for us. But I don’t know it always will so I don’t want to commit.” haha! That’s fine too. Live in the moment. Because all that time I wasn’t committing, I was learning more… about my kids, about learning and unschooling, about my own stories in my head of how things are “supposed to be.” Unschooling parents evolve too - you’re probably already seeing that! I just want you to know you don’t have to do it alone.

One last thing... a Project I'm working on...

I’m going to tell you something so you can be MY accountability buddy for a project I want to do!

I want to create a FREE mini-course over at YouTube about making this leap from homeschooling to unschooling. I’ve finally gotten some clarity on what I want to include, so my goal is to have this up and ready in March.
Get Started Unschooling Course - on my course platform . OR at YouTube

This means you have 2 things to do:

1) Get on my email list so you’ll know when it’s ready.

2) And subscribe to the YouTube channel so you’ll get a notification when it’s up.

For all of you out there in the more traditional homeschooling communities, don’t get caught up in the conversations that are about to start, centering around curriculum purchases. It’s very possible that you already know that’s a waste of money for you and your kids. But it’s easy to get swept up in the hype - unless you do something deliberate to offset it.

Unschooling works. And you can modify it as you go - having that flexibility will be important - I can help you work on that too.

Let’s get you on steadier ground!

That’s it from me for this week - Take care!

Birthday Special!

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 00:20:40 GMT

This year, I'm turning 64!

I know, most of you are decades younger than me, and that seems.... OLD.

But it creeps up on you!
At 30, 60 looks like nursing home material.
At 50, you bump that age to 70 (since 60 is just around the corner!)

But at 64... now 70 doesn't look at old at all! hahaha

So Celebrate WITH Me!

I love helping families see that unschooling works! And the best most cost-effective way for you to tap into all of the resources is through my Creating Confidence Membership group . We just had a fabulous coaching call today where everyone talked about where they are on their unschooling journey, where it's working, where they're struggling - and it reminded me... THAT is why I was successful at this with my own 3 kids! I had a COMMUNITY around me to help me along. We commiserated, we celebrated, we never felt alone. Even if they weren't local and we connected over the phone, we had each other to lean on. I really think that made all the difference.

And, NOW! I"ve created this membership group so you can have this too! It's actually even better than what I had!
Twice a week Zoom calls where you can get to know other parents who are taking this unconventional path too!
We even have a private WhatsApp channel and Circle platform where parents can talk any time during the week!

OK... that's a lot of exclamation marks! But I'm excited for you to be able to join us.

And TODAY - in honor of my birthday - I have slashed the prices!

BIRTHDAY FLASH SALE!

The annual price typically offers 2 months free , but today only, I'm making it even better!
This breaks it down to only $29/month by paying annually today!

✓ All the Unschooling Support from Sue & the community!
✓ Pay annually - no worries for a year!

Or...

maybe you don't need the membership, but you'd just like to do something nice....

And Now I AM 64! ��

Life's Third Act :

When Moms Feel Discouraged

Sun, 16 Feb 2025 23:57:00 GMT

Transcript:
Welcome to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast!

I’m Sue Patterson, your host here bringing you your weekly quick Unschooling Peptalk.

If you’ve been feeling a little discouraged lately—wondering if you’re doing this unschooling thing “right” or if you’re somehow being irresponsible for not replicating a school-like structure at home—I want you to know, you are NOT alone. So many moms wrestle with these same feelings, and today, I want to give you some reassurance and encouragement to help you move forward with confidence.

And—just a little hint— I have something special happening on my birthday this Thursday !

So stick around if you’ve been thinking about joining our private membership at a reduced price.

Is It Normal to Feel This Way?

Here’s what someone wrote to me:
“Is it normal to feel like an irresponsible parent for not having structure and schedule like a normal public school format?”

Absolutely! Society is incredibly judgey about how we mother our kids. It’s like we’ve all been thrown into some giant competition—who’s the busiest, the most exhausted, the most self-sacrificing. The “overworked mom” has somehow become this badge of honor. No wonder we feel like we’re floundering when we step outside of that mold!

But here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear: You do not have to earn exhaustion points to be a good mom. You don’t need anyone’s approval to build the life that works for YOUR family. Unschooling is about embracing a new way of thinking, and sometimes that means shaking off the old expectations that were never really serving us in the first place.

Take Charge of Your Life

One of the first hurdles unschooling parents face is standing firm in their choices. Maybe you still feel like you need permission—from your parents, your in-laws, your friends, or even that little voice in your head that tells you, “This isn’t how I was raised.” Maybe you haven’t broken free from some of those family roles you’ve outgrown.

But here’s the truth: You are the grown-up now. You get to decide what works for your family. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. It takes time to feel solid in your choices and certainly no one really talked about HOW to learn to stand on your own two feet. Maybe you’ve even gotten into a bit of a rut because it was just EASIER to agree with everyone than stand up to them. But talking with other unschooling parents who’ve been there can make a world of difference. We all have to figure this out - it’s nice to not have to do that all by yourself.

Your Kids Need You to Be Their Advocate

Because if you’re waiting for approval, it may never come.

Waiting for approval? It may never come. And you don’t want to waste a single day of your child’s childhood waiting for validation from people who don’t see the full picture. Your kids need YOU to be the person who trusts in their unique journey and stands up for what feels right for your family.

And I know, that can be hard to do. But your own child needing you to step up might be the catalyst you need, to break free from the dutiful daughter or compliant schoolgirl roles. Seeing that you are the person there to protect your child may be the incentive you need to get through the hard part.

You may have to give yourself permission to and approval to do what’s resonating with you - what’s best for YOUR child.

Learn More About Parenting—It’s Always Evolving

Parenting isn’t about having all the answers from day one. It’s about being open to learning and growing alongside your kids. Even with my grown children (who are all now in their 30s!), I’m still learning and adjusting how I support them. The same will be true for you.

One of the biggest shifts in unschooling is learning to trust your child’s learning process. That means listening—really listening—to what they need. Sometimes, our old habits and beliefs want to jump in and take over, but when we pause and connect, we build something so much more powerful: trust.

And trust is the foundation for everything. The more connected you are with them, the more data you’ll actually gain about what’s going on with them. You’ll see or hear the progress. And you won’t feel that panicky feeling to get in there and run the show.

You’re a Family, Not a System

I hear moms say all the time, “We have no structure! Should I be worried?” And I always say—don’t think of it that way. Instead, ask yourself, “Do we have a rhythm that works for us?” Families ebb and flow, but school systems are rigid. You’re not running a system. You’re nurturing a family, and the beauty of unschooling is that you can shift and adjust whenever you need to.

Think about what successful classrooms do—good teachers try to connect with students, make the space feel cozy, and create a relaxed atmosphere for learning. Schools are trying to mimic home because they know learning happens when kids feel comfortable and valued. But here’s the thing— you already have that naturally! And you can take it even further because you’re not managing a classroom of 25 kids. You can truly individualize learning and pivot as needed.

Schools have to move entire classrooms from Point A to Point B, keeping the system running no matter what the individual learners need. Change happens slowly because it requires approvals and bureaucratic processes. But parents don’t have those barriers. You have the freedom to adjust, evolve, and meet your child’s needs in real-time. It may not feel familiar, but trust me, it’s so much better.

Seasons Change—And So Do Our Kids

What worked for your child a few months ago might not work today—and that’s okay! Growth and change are part of the process. The good news? You’re not stuck. You get to adapt, to be flexible, and to create an environment where learning naturally unfolds.

Nature reminds us of this rhythm, too. Just as the seasons change, so do our children’s needs and interests. Learning doesn’t have to look the same all year long—winter invites coziness and reflection, while summer sparks adventure and exploration. If you’re looking for ways to align your unschooling with the natural rhythms of the year, my Seasonal Unschooling Guides are full of ideas and tips to help you create meaningful, seasonally-inspired learning experiences.

You Are NOT Alone

Even though the mainstream world may not understand unschooling, you are far from alone. There are so many families raising kids this way, and they are thriving! If you need to hear stories from grown unschoolers, I’ve got plenty to share. You could grab my book, Homeschooled Teens . I interviewed 75 young people who didn't go to high school. Listen to what these 75 young people say when I asked them questions about not going to high school - it's a really reassuring read.

And if you’re looking for real-time support—people who “get it” and can walk alongside you—I want to invite you into our private membership.

Flash Sale is Over - But Community is Still Available!

Connect with other unschooling moms, and get the support you need without feeling like you’re doing this alone.
So, if you’ve been on the fence, let's do this together!

Remember , you are more than enough for your kids. You don’t have to do this perfectly—you just have to show up with love, curiosity, and a willingness to grow. And I promise, that is enough - it’s actually a lot!

Until next time, take a deep breath, trust yourself, and enjoy the journey. Prioritizing your kids, their learning, their childhood, and your connection with them—that’s what’s truly amazing. Most people don’t do that. But you do.

Freebie Fridays

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Fri, 07 Feb 2025 17:40:59 GMT

Podcast Transcript

Welcome back to the podcast. I’m Sue Patterson, and I’m so happy you’re here today.

I know that unschooling can sometimes feel like a big leap —you want to do what’s best for your kids, but there are moments when doubt creeps in. Am I doing enough? Am I missing something? What should I focus on today, this week, this month?

If that sounds familiar, I want to help make things simpler and less overwhelming for you. That’s why I’ve started something called 1st Friday Freebie —a way for me to send you one free PDF every month to help guide and encourage you on this journey.

What is 1st Friday Freebie?

You know how sometimes you just need a quick resource —a checklist, an idea, a little inspiration —to keep you moving forward? That’s exactly what Freebie Friday is about.

Each month, on the first Friday, I’ll email you a free downloadable PDF with something practical and useful to help you grow as an unschooling parent. It might be a simple mindset shift , a fun activity for your kids , or a tool to track your progress —little things that help build your confidence and remind you that you’re doing just fine.

And the best part? You don’t have to go digging for these resources or figuring out what to do next.

Just check your inbox, and it’ll be right there waiting for you!

February's Freebie: The Weekly Unschooling Confidence Checklist

Now, let’s talk about this month’s Freebie!

One of the biggest challenges I hear from parents is finding a way to feel more confident in their unschooling approach. You might have a ton of information at your fingertips—podcasts, PDFs, videos—but actually using it in a way that helps you stay on track? That’s the tricky part.

That’s why I created The Weekly Unschooling Confidence Checklist —a simple, structured DIY Unschooling Workout page that helps you build new habits and stay intentional with your days.

Inside the membership group , I have multiple deep-dive resources to help with this—PDFs, videos, past coaching call recordings, podcasts—so much great content! But sometimes, the hardest part is FINDING the right resource out on the web , when you need it.

That’s why I’ve streamlined everything in the membership portal —so when an issue pops up, you can go straight to what you need without feeling lost in a sea of information.

This month's freebie is a little taste of how that's organized —a way to break things down and help you create a weekly plan that supports your confidence in unschooling.

The 4 Focus Areas for Unschooling Confidence

So how do we build confidence as unschooling parents?
Over the years, I’ve found that it really comes down to four key focus areas —and I designed this weekly checklist around them.

1) Getting Good Unschooling & Deschooling Information

Maybe that means listening to a 10-minute podcast over coffee or reading a few pages of a PDF before bed. Unschooling is a shift in perspective, and the more we immerse ourselves in good information , the more natural it starts to feel.

2) Connecting with Your Kids

One of the most important things you can do is prioritize your connection with your kids. It’s so easy to get distracted by laundry, housework, and daily life , but unschooling works best when we actively engage with our children —whether that’s playing a game, exploring something new together, or just being present.

Your kids will show you what they’re curious about—what lights them up, what makes them excited to learn— but only if you’re paying attention.

3) Getting Support

This one is huge. Isolation is one of the biggest reasons parents give up on unschooling.

We all need support—whether that’s from a local homeschooling group, an online community, or a trusted mentor. That’s why I created my membership group—to be a place where parents can come for encouragement, troubleshooting, and real conversations with people who truly get it.

Don’t let yourself get stuck thinking you have to do this alone. There are so many people out there ready to support you —including me!

4) Taking Care of Yourself

I know, I know—this is the one we always put last, right?

But the truth is, if you don’t make time for self-care, you’re going to burn out. And that doesn’t help anyone.

Self-care doesn’t have to be big or elaborate —sometimes it’s as simple as drinking enough water, taking a few deep breaths, or stepping outside for a little fresh air. The point is, if you don't make time for yourself, you won't be able to be the parent you want to be. And! Y ou deserve joy too.

The Bonus: Overcoming Obstacles & Conquering Fears

After decades of working with unschooling families, I know that fears and doubts can be the biggest roadblocks.
Even when the solutions are right in front of you , it can be hard to see them through the noise of fear.

That’s why I added a 5th section to this weekly checklist—helping you identify those fears and tackle them head-on.

Because let’s be real—most of the time, it’s not a lack of resources or knowledge that holds us back.
It’s fear of doing things differently. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of judgment.

But we don’t have to let those fears control us. We can work through them together.

How to Get February's Unschooling Freebie

So, if you’re already on my email list, you’ll get this free checklist in your inbox on February 7th!

If you’re NOT on my list yet, it’s super easy to sign up.
Just pop in your email below, and you’ll start getting unschooling resources every week.

And if you want even more , if you’re looking for a place where all the answers are gathered in one spot, come check out the membership community —it’s where I keep everything organized and easy to find , so you never have to wonder what to do next.

Final Thoughts

S mall steps really do lead to big transformations.
You don’t have to do everything all at once —just focus on taking those little steps every day.

And that’s what this month's First Freebie Friday is all about—helping you move forward, one simple, actionable resource at a time.

I can’t wait for you to check out this week’s Weekly Unschooling Confidence Checklist —I think it’s really going to help you.

Thanks for spending this time with me today! I’ll see you in your inbox, and right back here next week for another episode of the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast . Have a great weekend! Happy Unschooling!

Winter Unschooling: The Seasonal Approach to Homeschooling

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 05:35:20 GMT

Let Go of Lesson Plans: Embrace Winter as Your Unschooling Curriculum

Here we are, in the middle of winter. We’re wrapping up January now, and the sun is slowly returning. But even in these darker days, there’s so many awesome opportunities to learn from this season.

As unschoolers, we can use these seasonal rhythms as al scaffold for learning—a way to anchor curiosity and discovery in the natural flow of life.

If you’re new to the Unschooling Mom2Mom channel, welcome!

I do weekly podcasts and sometimes I convert these to videos. Each week, I try to bring you a 10-minute unschooling pep talks to show you how unschooling really does work.

I’m Sue Patterson , and my three unschooled kids are all in their 30s now. I’ve circled back to help parents like you, learn more about how unschooling could work for your family too!

I’ve created a ton of resources for you, because parents all learn differently too ! I want you to get the information in a way that will REALLY help you. We talk a lot about how KIDS learn, but we have to look at how Parents learn best too. If you fall asleep as soon as you start to read a PDF - don’t get that. If you like videos - the courses are set up for that. If you learn better in conversations with other people, or if you’re feeling lonely in your community, do the membership . I’ll link everything in the shownotes.

But this week, I want to talk about using Winter as your own personal seasonal curriculum. You really can use the opportunities that come with the seasons when you’re looking for ways to help your kids learn. You don’t have to go out and buy expensive workbooks or stick with rigid schedules, just open the door and greet the Winter. Inside your home, things naturally shift this time of year, and there’s so much learning happening naturally - all around you if you start to notice it.

I created a Seasonal Guide for Winter to spark creativity and confidence as you explore the opportunities this season brings. Winter invites us to slow down, to cozy up, and to lean into a different rhythm. The cold and quiet might initially feel limiting, but really, it’s an opportunity to shift gears into the curriculum nature is providing.

For unschoolers, seasons can offer a beautiful structure for learning, free from the artificial constraints of grade levels or subjects. We can tap into what’s happening in the world around us.

What better way to learn than by observing and participating in the cycles of nature?

I think of these Seasonal Guides as helpful ways for Homeschoolers who are trying to transition over to unschooling. They’re not QUITE ready to jump in. If this is you, I want to reassure you that you don’t have to throw caution to the wind and You can dip your toI’d invite you to continue to keep an open mind - because a lot of our resistance doesn’t have anything to do with facts, it’s just familiarity. You’re stepping into uncharted waters, so to speak. Uncharted for you maybe, not uncharted for me. I can show you.

So I want to show you how to use Winter to help you pivot a little. I know you’re still locked into subjects - so there’s a little deschooling you still need to do. But let me show you how these subjects ARE coming around simply by enjoying Winter.

You can always start with the Holidays. You know that the Lunar New Year starts on January 29th this year - that’s Wednesday!

It goes on for a month and there’s so much to learn from this. I have a lot of resources in my membership group because we’re diving into this in the next 30 days. But you can always google whatever holiday is around the corner.

For example, let’s look at the Chinese New Year , starting this week. There’s so much to explore!

Language Arts : Read Zodiac stories, practice calligraphy, or dive into books about life in China or Chinese-American experiences.
Math : Learn about lunar cycles, dividing red envelopes, or measuring ingredients in traditional recipes.
Science : Study the moon’s phases, symbolism in plants, or the biology of zodiac animals.
Social Studies : Explore the history of the holiday, regional traditions, and the migration of people who brought these celebrations to new lands.
Art : Create decorations inspired by the lucky colors and wood element of 2025’s Year of the Snake .

Immersing yourself in this holiday is just one example of how unschooling connects real life with learning. You don’t need to check boxes—you just need curiosity and a willingness to explore. And this Winter Guide will show you ideas you may have set aside, thinking they didn’t “count.” But they do - even if they’re just little pieces of learning, they all add up!

We have even more Winter holidays to dive into next month:
Black History Month ,
Groundhog Day ,
Valentine’s Day ,
Mardi Gras ,
President’s Day —all filled with ways to weave learning into daily life.

The Winter Guide includes over 70 pages of ideas for activities, games, and discussions that tap into the season’s unique opportunities. From kitchen math to winter sports, daylight hours to freezing temperatures, it’s all there—and it all counts.

But the Winter Guide has 70 pages of fun ideas to tap into - using the cold weather and snowy days.

I have games and stories, podcasts and movies - all to help your kids learn a variety of aspects of language arts and vocabulary development.
And the Math concepts that have to do with winter sports and budgets, temperature tracking and kitchen math.

All of these subjects weave together - they don’t stay in their lane like they do in school.

Real life merges it all together. Because even these also include pieces of science and social studies: The daylight hours and earth rotation, the animals and what they do when it’s colder.

There’s physics and engineering and chemistry associated with freezing temperatures... friction and melting points, insulation and sound travel. I have links for quick online shows to help demonstrate these things - podcasts, videos, whatever you need to make this exciting for your kids!

I keep hearing from parents who say,

“We’ve been homeschooling for a while and it’s not working.

I’m not happy, the kids aren’t happy.

I’ve tried everything - so now it’s time to actually look at unschooling.”

And I’m so glad! It’s not too late! Winter is still here! And I have this easy tool to help you begin to make the leap over to Unschooling.

The Unschooling 101 Course is on sale for the rest of this month - so you might want to save $20 and jump on that!

If you need more hand-holding, you can always join us in the Membership Group . The Winter Guide - and all the information in Unschooling 101 - is also in our private Member’s portal.
Or you can just hop off here and get that Winter Guide ! I want you to be successful.

Tap into the Seasons to help you see how unschooling really DOES offer so many opportunities to learn - you don’t need to duplicate school at all.

That’s it for me this time! Enjoy the kids. Happy Unschooling

Reading is Not the Holy Grail

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 00:33:14 GMT

Why Curiosity Matters More than Timelines...

Lots of parents tell me, “If I can just get them to read, I’ll finally relax.”
Critics echo this, warning, “If you don’t focus on reading, they’ll fall permanently behind.”

You’ve probably heard the phrase Learn to Read, Read to Learn. Traditionally, Kindergarten through 3rd grade emphasized pre-reading skills, with 4th grade marking the shift where kids read to learn. However, this timeline is shrinking. In some places, the Learn to Read stage is expected to be complete by 1st or 2nd grade, creating immense pressure.

I’ve seen kids labeled as “behind” at just six years old! One of my clients was talking with another mom at their Co-Op. She was saying that her curious, bright child wasn’t yet an independent reader, and the school suggested holding him back. In 1st grade! A SIX year old. Then other homeschooling moms chimed in - with the reminder that if they DON’T learn to read in those early grades, they’ll be Left Behind. Lots of more traditional homeschooling moms have a teaching backgrounds - so it’s not surprising that they continue on with what they were taught. My client though, thank heavens, she recognized that that Learn to Read - THEN Read to Learn concept is not learner focused - it’s so the SYSTEM can move more smoothly.

It’s alarming how narrowly defined “success” has become. Even with all the educational research focusing on incorporating play and the needs of the actual child as the learner - that all seems to get lost on them somewhere along the way.

So I want to unpack this issue and offer some perspective.

But first, if you’re new here, I’m Sue Patterson, your podcast host and at all things Unschooling Mom2Mom. I'm here to bring you an unschooling peptalk - I try to it weekly. Usually short - 10 min or so because I know you're busy with the kids... and the laundry...and the meals... and trying to help the kids have a full rich life! That's the basics of Unschooling!

Learning, it’s kind of a side byproduct!

So I’m here to give you practical ideas, resources that can help, and inspiration to encourage you.

So...about reading.

The Bell Curve of Reading Development

The bell curve reminds us that “average” is just the middle point. Many children don’t become proficient readers until 7 or 8 years old, even though schools push for earlier results. The brain doesn’t learn faster simply because schools demand it. Just like potty training and maturity - the brain does it when it’s ready.

And, the data used to establish these benchmarks of 7 or 8 years old, comes from traditional school environments, where children are taught to tests and rigid standards. They don’t have a lot of wiggle room.

But that’s not the case with Unschooling Kids. Kids in the Wild. They don’t follow standardized norms —they explore based on their interests. They may not be reading fluently yet, but they’re often acquiring vocabulary and knowledge through conversations, videos, and other experiences.

Their curiosity is what’s compelling them to learn more - not test scores and getting good grades. They move in that direction of their interests. They ARE learning more. All the time.

Are they reading? Maybe, maybe not.
Are they bumping into words that pertain to thethe topic they’re curious about? Probably.

If they’re not seeing it in print, they’re probably hearing it in conversation, or video.

Their own personal vocabulary list is growing.

We’ve all seen that, right? Your kid suddenly knows something that most kids their age don’t know.

And we spin around with, “What’s that? How did you know that?”

More often than not, they don’t even know.

This is a perfect example of learning being a byproduct of pursuing an interest or curiosity.

They’re showing you how they didn’t need a lesson plan for it, right?

Reassessing the Definition of Reading

So when parents worry their child “can’t read,” the comparison is often to grade-level expectations. But are those standards realistic—or necessary? Most young readers are still building foundational skills like recognizing letters and sounds or rhyming words. Simple words. Simple sentences.

But maybe the school-approved, 2nd grade reading list, doesn’t include anything about spiders, or the solar system, or the signs in your neighborhood community. These will be the basis of YOUR child’s very individualized vocabulary list. AND, remember that bell curve? Half of those kids in that classroom aren’t retaining their own standardized approach to reading... they’re on the left side of that Bell curve.
So let’s not sweep with a broad brush and say ALL those 2nd graders are readers and my little guy isn’t.
Because that probably isn’t even accurate!

It's VERY likely that those lower grades are doing what you and I (and also their teachers) would consider “pre-reading” activities - building blocks toward reading. Sure, their report card calls it "Language Arts" or "Reading." But it’s the rudimentary PRE-reading stage. Our kids can hang out in this stage for as long as they need to. Their brain is amassing what they need to move forward. And they probably ARE moving forward, and you’re not noticing the progress. It’s tiny... but it adds up.

If you’re worried about your child’s progress, I want you to pause. .
Forget about their age or the artificial bell curve.

3 Simple Actions to Shift Your Perspective

Instead of focusing on what they can’t do, try these three things:

Hobbies. Think about their hobbies—how have they improved over time?
Progress . Compare what they know now to a year ago—what skills have they gained?
Surprises. Recall the moments when they surprised you with their knowledge or vocabulary—what were they curious about?

What subject category might any of these fall into?
Was it a vocabulary word they started using - they’re growing their language arts abilities.
Was it something about natural disasters? Science.
Was it something about the election or politics? Social Studies.

They’re all tiny little seeds of knowledge - but they count and they add up.

These are all signs of learning. You can see them if you look!
My Everything Counts ebook and the Seasonal Unschooling Guides can help you see how everyday activities align with subjects like science, social studies, and language arts, and math..

But don’t let fear distract you from doing this. That voice in your that wants to keep you conforming and safe, it’s going to list out what they DON’T know… but that’s easy to see. Your job is to say,
“OK, hush now. I’m looking for something else right now.”

Learning Beyond Reading

But probably the most important reason I’ve said that Reading is not the Holy Grail is because “Learning” encompasses so much more than reading. When we’re in school, reading is the path tomore knowledge.

But it’s really not the ONLY way to get there. Schools treat reading as the primary pathway to knowledge because of their structure and resources.

When we’re in school... back in the day... especially if we went to school before the internet took off - or even during that first phase when everyone thought it was going to be the end of us all - we saw how the educational establishment resisted technology. Progress is really slow in big bureaucracies. If we have a kid in school now, schools may not catch up in time.The funding or resources may not get there before your kid graduates.

But at home, we have all kinds of flexibility. We can embrace multiple learning methods. Whatever works. And we can pivot if something else is available or works better next week. We don’t have to petition a school board or hope the teacher is willing to change up her lesson plans. We can budget for what OUR kid needs and move in that direction. Because we’ve spent so much timein schools, we’ve embraced that idea that reading is the only path to learning. Sometimes without even realizing it.

Your child might learn through:

YouTube videos or podcasts
Conversations with friends and family
Hands-on trial and error
Exploring their environment

Reading is valuable, but it’s not the only way to learn. Recognizing and celebrating alternative learning methods can ease the pressure on you and your child. It’s not always easy, sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it. Or we find ourselves agreeing with someone who says “Learn to Read" and THEN “Read to Learn.” We’ve spent a lot of time in that school approach that told us there was only one path. It’s why we deschool - because you can tap into the REALITY of all that life has to offer your child!

Resources to Support Literacy

If your child is in the pre-reading stage, I have an

Unschooling Guide about Learning to Read

filled with ideas to make your home literacy-friendly. I’m also planning a mini-course on this topic, similar to my Learning Math Without Curriculum course. Because let’s face it - we parents aren’t all big readers either. We like videos and worksheets and audio-versions of material. We process differently too. Reading isn’t the Holy Grail for many us either, right?

But until that’s ready - it’s on my ToDo List for this Spring - you can tap into that PDF—it’s packed with tips to help your child when they’re ready.

Let’s support our kids in learning to read without unnecessary pressure. Learning is happening all the time—it’s not waiting on the other side of the Learn to Read door. They’re learning in so many ways - we just have to notice it.

Have a great week! Leave a comment, subscribe, and share to spread the word that unschooling works.
For more tips, you can go next to my video Stop Duplicating School!

You can do this—happy unschooling! See you next week.

Learning from Dragons - 10 Subject-driven Ideas

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 19:58:18 GMT

"Why ‘Appreciate a Dragon Day’ Might Be the Best Lesson Plan You Never Planned"

Did you know January 16th is Appreciate a Dragon Day? ��

You would if you were subscribed to the Strewing Calendar !

I'm sharing today's celebration because I want you to see how something as random and playful can be FILLED with opportunities for your homeschooled child to learn more. Every day of the year has a variety of celebrations - all you have to do is tap into them. When you subscribe to the Strewing Calendar, you can hang your printed copy on the refrigerator, or anywhere your family is looking. THEY can see something interesting to explore - and you don't have to do much at all!!

Here are some creative ways to weave dragons into your day— AND see the learning that's happening with all the fun!

(A sneak peek at how our Strewing Calendar can inspire even more magical moments in your homeschool)

10 Subjects Kids Learn with Appreciate a Dragon Day

1. Language Arts: Dragon Tales and Descriptive Writing

Read a classic dragon book or a new favorite, like The Hobbit or Dragonology.
Encourage kids to make up their own dragon-themed stories. Younger kids can describe their dragon’s features, while older ones can craft a full adventure.
Explore symbolism: What do dragons represent in different cultures?

2. Math: Dragon Measurements

Estimate the size of a dragon based on your kids’ imaginations or the stories you read.
Calculate flight speeds, wing spans, or even how much food a dragon might eat in a day.

3. Science: The Biology of Dragons

Dive into the science behind fire-breathing: Could it be biological? Talk about real-world animals with fascinating adaptations.
Study flight mechanics by comparing dragon wings to bird or bat anatomy.

4. Social Studies: Dragons Around the World

Explore myths and legends about dragons in different cultures, from Chinese dragons to European wyverns .
Learn how dragons influenced history, art, and storytelling in these regions.

5. Art: Create Your Own Dragon

Pull out the craft supplies and encourage your kids to design their own dragons using paint, clay, or recycled materials.
Experiment with digital art or make a stop-motion video featuring their dragon creations.

6. Geography: Mapping Dragon Habitats

Research where dragons might live based on their features: mountains, caves, or forests?
Draw a map of a fictional world with dragon habitats, adding rivers, mountains, and towns.

7. Music: Dragon-Inspired Soundscapes

Listen to music from movies featuring dragons, like How to Train Your Dragon or Pete’s Dragon.
Create a dragon “theme song” using instruments or everyday objects as percussion.

8. Physical Activity: Dragon Roleplay

Turn your backyard into a dragon-training ground. Kids can pretend to fly, breathe fire, or defend their lairs.
Set up an obstacle course for “dragons” to navigate.

9. Cooking: Feast Like a Dragon

Make dragon-themed snacks: dragon fruit smoothies, fireball cupcakes, or scaly cookies.
Try a recipe inspired by a country with dragon mythology, like Chinese dumplings or Welsh cakes.

10. Critical Thinking: Dragon Dilemmas

Pose questions like: Should dragons be protected or feared? How would humans coexist with dragons?
Encourage your kids to debate or problem-solve as if dragons were real.

Pinterest Friends!

Dive deeper into these ideas with suggestions on the

Unschooling Mom2Mom Pinterest board:

Appreciate A Dragon Day!

Seeing this AFTER January 16th?

Even if you miss the ACTUAL date, you and the kids can still have fun with this.

Turn it into "In January we celebrate Dragons!" or "Let's declare TODAY the day we appreciate dragons at our house!"

Other Suggestions?

Do you have other movie or book suggestions? I have some collected at Pinterest, but we can add more here!

Make Every Day Magical

... with the Strewing Calendar

Appreciate a Dragon Day is just one example of the fun, engaging topics featured in our Strewing Calendar.

Each month is packed with creative, (and yes, educational!) ideas to make homeschooling exciting and stress-free.

When you subscribe, you’ll get:

Daily prompts like this one to inspire curiosity.
Access to an exclusive portal that connects activities to key learning areas.
A framework that brings joy and structure to your homeschool.

Don’t let planning weigh you down—let us help you make homeschooling more fun and connected.

�� Ready to Join the Adventure?

Subscribe to the Strewing Calendar Today!

Let’s make this year full of curiosity, connection, and creativity

for your family.

Who knows what you’ll discover next? ��✨

Unschooling Red Flags

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 19:22:40 GMT

Unschooling Red Flags

Signals You Shouldn’t Ignore

Quite a few people are opting to NOT send their kids back to school.
For some, this is brand new.
Maybe last semester (or year) didn’t go well and they’d really like to just going to sit this one out. I get that.

Others are continuing with what they’ve been doing.
They weren’t in school last semester and they’re not going this semester either.

And then some - a lot of you, from what I can tell - are inching more toward unschooling.
Maybe you tried a modified homeschooling recently, but it wasn’t great.

Today I want to talk about Red Flags. ��

And I want to encourage you not to ignore them!

Welcome!

Whether you’re just here for a little inspiration (your weekly unschooling peptalk!) or it’s all new and you’re kinda nervous - I’m glad you’re here!

I’m Sue Patterson, your host here on these Unschooling Mom2Mom podcasts.
My kids are all grown - all in their 30s now - and I’m circling back to let you know that unschooling really does work. Door won’t close because you choose this unconventional path. You may have questions or worries - and that’s what I try to tackle here in the podcast. And then if you want to dive deeper or get more support, I have courses , and guides , ebooks and calendars . I do private coaching and have a FABULOUS membership group where you can talk with other parents on this path too. I’ll put links to all of this in the notes for you.

We all go through different phases when we’re on this unschooling journey. Some are harder, some are easier. It’s one of the reasons I do this podcast. I want you to know that it’s worth it.

It’s worth plowing through the confusion or even the criticism.

Maybe your kids aren’t acting the way you thought they would. It’s a process for them too, you know.

I always tell my membership group that parents have to undo all that schooled conditioning, all those ideas of what’s legit learning and what’s not, all those People Pleasing traits we picked up along the way.

And the kids... they have to figure out how to handle all this freedom.

Let’s face it. We’re all human. And most of us, don’t get things right on the first pass. We inch along, a few steps forward, a few steps back... but when we stay with it, we make progress.

So that’s what I want to help you do now.

And a few of the questions are popping up:

Especially,
How are they learning what they need to know?

It’s a bit of a loaded question... because sometimes, when we ask this, we already have a pre-set idea of what THINK they need to know. The Basics, right? Or some particular subject?

And then, interestingly, we seem to move the goalposts as the kids master these things.

Once they can read, we switch it up and worry if they can write?
Or once they can divide up their cookies evenly, what about their times tables? ...or even Algebra?
Because then, as they get into the teen years, we have new goals, right?

As I was talking on this week’s coaching call in my membership group, I was mentioning Red Flags.
Because even if we have been unschooling a while, these little red flags pop up.

�� “Are they learning enough?”

�� “Are they behind other kids their age?”

�� "Am I Doing enough?”

These are examples of red flags for you.

It’s not the checkered flag �� that’s giving you the signal to push more on your kid or up the ante a little, or Go Go Go!.

�� It’s your red flag telling you something is off. ��
Truth is, you already know that. You feel it.
But it's not your nudge to throw in the towel or get back in line. It's the nudge that you need to do a little more deschooling.
Or at LEAST bring these worries out into the open so you can look at them clearly.

Ask Yourself:

Where DO these fears come from?

Are they based in facts or based in those feelings of familiarity?

Because familiarity does not necessarily mean Truth. It just means you’ve heard it or thought it a lot - often enough that it FEELS familiar. But it really may not be the truth.

That’s why shining the light to see:

Do I feel defensive about it? Justified?
Have I thought it through with this unschooling lens, so to speak?
Could they learn it later?
Is the timing truly significant? Do others learn it later and they turn out ok?

That’s why it helps to have a community of Unschoolers to bounce these ideas around with.
You MAY stick with the original idea - but it will be deliberate and intentional.

But if you’re only around mainstream people or traditional homeschoolers, it’s very possible that they’ll just reinforce the fear because THEY’d prefer that you get back into the conforming mode.
They have a lot of reasons to do this - and it’s not always because it’s what’s best for YOUR child. That’s why it helps to strengthen your ideas about all of this. You don’t want to just blow whichever way the strongest wind blows. You want to make good solid choices that fit YOUR child.

What would some other Red Flags be?

�� If you are either feeling like my kid's not motivated, my kid's not doing anything, my kid doesn’t know math - or history or science...That's a red flag.

�� If you think, I'm overwhelmed. Why are they asking so much of me? Nobody appreciates me.

I’m feeling disengaged. That's a red flag.

�� If you are thinking, the neighbor's kid is National Honor Society and my kid doesn't even know how to set up a division problem.

��Or, we just need more structure, this is too chaotic. More red flags.

So what are yours?

They’re not insurmountable.

And, actually, Red Flags are helpful.

They let you know what you need to work on.

They’re your guideposts for what you need to tackle next. Identifying them is the first step.

You can do it in a DIY way

Identify the issues that are your Red Flags, and then search the podcasts or the YouTube playlists for these topics.

When you go to the blog associated with it - or even the descriptions for those audios or videos, I have additional resources linked that can help you dive deeper.

If DIY isn’t really your thing, and you’d like a little more help so you can move through this more quickly, I help parents do this in the Creating Confidence Membership group - and I have a lot of tools to help with this. You can always join us.

And remember, podcast listeners and YouTube subscribers don’t have to pay the sign up fee . Just month-by-month.
I’ll link to that too, because it may be a good time for you to get more help.

I think I know a lot of the red flags, because I've probably had them all.

Or I've certainly seen them all. I've definitely seen a variety of ways people can red flag themselves into a darn near panic attack.

So don’t look away.

They usually don’t resolve themselves and you deserve to have kinder voices in your head.
If yours is particularly obnoxious, it’s important to look closely at the specifics. This will be the only way to know if the voices are right, or just nagging. Maybe it’s People Pleasing or Perfectionist traits that you need to dismantle.

It’s important to do this, because it’s going to prevent you from having any Joy or enjoyment in these adventures.

But also because your kids are watching how you cope... you may have removed them from the school setting, but did you bring home some of these attitudes YOU learned in school about performance and measuring or comparing, criticism and disappointment?

Let’s get this out of the equation so you can assess the situation more accurately.

What Do I DO?

When you have a lot of fears popping up, see them as the red flags that they are.

And take some Steps to work through them.

Think about whether you really believe what you’re hearing, or is it someone else’s take on things?
Can you think of any examples where this thought isn’t true? Specific examples.

Then it’s time to do a little rewiring to stop that thought process.

Do something that will interrupt the flow.
Go for a walk outside.
Listen to some music.
Put on some headphones.

These kinds of activities can stop you from spiraling into more negative self-talk.
I have a lot more ideas as well as examples of Red Flags in the membership group - if this feels like something you’d like to work on.

There are also 2 Guides that might be helpful:

One is called “Am I Doing Enough” and the other is “Deschooling.”

Both really good options.
They’re still available in the shop for a couple more months, but they’re always in the Membership resources.

So... Red Flags. Let’s learn to look for t hem.

And make some changes so we don’t have to live with these worries.

Wouldn’t it be nice to stop all the second-guessing? I remember that phase so well!

Feel free to let me know how you’re doing with this over in the Facebook Group.

I’ll post the link to this podcast and we can talk ab out it there!

Tell me what YOUR Red Flags are and how you’re working through them.

You can do this.

I’m over here rooting for you!

So learn more about unschooling and deschooling, get the support you need -including self-care, and, most importantly, connect with your kids!

Have a great week and I’ll be back to talk with you again soon.

Brainstorming Instead of Lesson Plans

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Fri, 10 Jan 2025 21:42:06 GMT

When you’re moving toward a curriculum-free life with the kids, parents often wonder,

"Ok, so what do we DO?"

The short answer is:

BRAINSTORM with the Kids!

This concept of partnering WITH them, is so new to most of us.
We were always told what to do - by parents, teachers, bosses...and then curriculum companies, if we dabbled in traditional homeschooling before this.

Over the years, people have referred to unschooling as a kind of dance.

Sometimes you lead, sometimes the kids do. But we listen and engage, try things and make modifications. It’s definitely not black and white thinking.

And I’ll be honest, this can be hard. Sometimes our ideas fall flat. Either we haven’t deschooled very much and we’re simply trying to sugarcoat the expected subjects - well our kids see right through that. Or maybe they just feel the manipulation.

And sometimes the rest of life is busy or difficult, and we have set some really unattainable goals related to creating a sparkly creatively wonderful life.

So what do we do to land somewhere in between? Somewhere realistic.

What do we do to give ourselves grace when we have “off days,” but also have a bit of a plan so we can get back on track.

Unschooling doesn’t mean NO planning. It just means flexibility.
Noticing the reception and turning off the bulldozer.
Lots of us do that right? We get some resistance so we press harder...surely they’ll see the wonderfulness or the necessity of what I’m suggesting! Yet, they don’t. So we get louder, press harder... and then we’re in that old familiar power struggle right?

So I want you to incorporate something into your unschooling life.

Brainstorming WITH the kids.

This can be your NEXT step as you’re getting comfortable with NOT choosing curricula.

Start with things they’d like to do around the house.

Sometimes Solo, sometimes with you, sometimes with the whole family. Don’t worry about focusing on subjects - they’re in there. That will be YOUR job to notice them . But start with the kids’ interests and then expand outwardly from there.

Everything Counts Ebook

If you’re really hung up on subjects, grab the Everything Counts Ebook.

I’ve broken everything down by subject, so that might help. I’m still working on a younger kid version of this, because this Everything Counts ebook was designed for teens.

It will still help you SEE the way real life incorporates subjects, so even if you don’t have teens, this will help you.

Start with Their Interests

So, starting with interests.

What do they like to do?

What’s a good time of day to do them?

One of the things we do in my membership group is just look at one week at a time. We can get really overwhelmed - and incredibly fearful when we are trying to envision how this can work way down the road. Don’t dwell there. Stay with this week.

And move toward Brainstorming with them.

Replace Curriculum Time with Brainstorming Time!

You can replace your Curriculum Time with Brainstorm time!

Kids don't know all the options that are available to them.
That's why those "What do you want to do today?" questions meet with shrugs and "I don't know." responses.

Unschooling invites you to shift your focus to Real Life and away from lesson plans and curricula!

And, if we're completely honest, sometimes WE as the parents aren't sure what all is out there! ��

And, we’ve heard a lot about “Child-led” or “Kid-driven” - so it kind of lets us off the hook.

The kids are supposed to tell us what they want to do, right?
I’m doing another podcast on how that concept of unschooling being child-led, has caused many a well-intentioned parent to throw in the unschooling towel! So be sure to subscribe to the podcast - and my Unschooling Updates Email list to get notified when that comes out! I know a lot of you need a little help with this “Child-led” concept!

Kids WILL need some help from us. Not only do we find it a little hard to see what else is out there - it’s way harder for them with their limited life experiences!

Become Explorers Together

That’s why ee have to move more into Explorer Mode ourselves. And we can model this for them.

We don’t have to set ourselves up as having all the answers. Heck, we don’t even know all the questions! And life is full of so much more than One Right Aswer.

That works on a standardized test - but what in life is really like a standardized test?

And, also, this is why strewing works. We find things and "strew" the kids' paths with interesting ideas. If strewing is new to you, I'll leave some links to help you. Podcast #49 is all about Strewing , so you can go to that next if you need to.

This is all about making some plans together.

Brainstorming ideas WITH the kids gives you more of a chance it will be successful.

And why? BECAUSE YOU ASKED THEIR OPINION!

You got them to engage in a way where they feel heard.
And this is the opportunity to help them see what's out there and actually figure out what their opinion is.

One of the key points is leaving room for anyone/everyone to say, "No, thanks."

Kids who aren't crazy about the outdoors, may want to brainstorm with you about cooking or movies.

Seasons may be a factor too - think about what time of year would a particular activity be the most fun (or the worst time to try it!)

And remember, Every year our kids grow and mature. Their interests change.
So you may want to brainstorm with them a few times a year.

Unschooling parents approach all of this with curiosity!

What would be fun to try?
What's a way the family can connect?
What resources do we need to find to make this work?

You can also help them see that they don’t have to LOVE the idea of something to give it a try. Some kids are really hesitant because they think they’ll get stuck there. Give them some options for how to end it early if they hate it. Or maybe you have to spend more time building trust back with them.

If this all sounds good but you’re needing a little help YOURSELF about what else is out there, I have a Brainstorming Guide that can walk you through how to get going with this. Lots of unschoolers use this as their annual Planner!

What kinds of things are we going to fill our lives up with - at home or out in the community?
It helps you be more intentional about how you’re going to spend time together.

Some families have printed it out and the whole family started filling out the prompts over several sittings. All of this brainstorming will help you learn more about your kids and what they’re leaning toward or away from.

So this Brainstorming Guide will help scratch that itch, if you’re a planner and want to know what some next steps could be!

All right...so that’s my message this week - brainstorming with the kids about things to do - trying out hobbies, seeing what’s out there. This is what you do instead of focusing on subjects and curriculum. Make a plan, then implement it one week at a time.
This will give you the chance to modify it as you go - based on weather, other activities that are on the calendar, how everyone feels...all those things that are Real Factors.

And that’s where I want us to stay...firmly basing our expectations on Reality.
I think this is a good plan to do that!

Unschooling Guide: Brainstorm Time

Did you know all the Guides are included in Sue's Creating Confidence Membership Group ?

Unschooling 101: The Step-by-Step Strategy You Need

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 09 Jan 2025 00:00:28 GMT

If you’re thinking about unschooling, I want you to have a practical strategy that can actually help.

Yes, unschooling focuses on connection, relationships, play, exploring interests.

I can feel everyone nodding along with that.

But then what?

...How?

That’s what I’ve been helping families figure out since the 1990s!

Our Steps Toward Unschooling

Let me give you a little history and then show you what YOUR next steps can be.

I didn’t come to unschooling for philosophical reasons. We just stepped away from school because, frankly, I thought I could do a better job than they were doing.

I could help my kids LOVE learning again.
I could show them things in the world that they otherwise would have just had to read about.
I’d give them space to be curious and creative, and not told they had to set all that aside and learn the things that “everyone their age” has to learn. That just didn’t feel logical to me. I didn’t step into this though, with any big plan. I thought I’d continue to weigh it out. And when we came to a point that it would be better to have the kids in school than learn through life at home, we’d pivot and put them back in school.

But that never happened. We liked our lives.

The kids continued to grow and learn - and be MORE Curious and MORE creative.
So we just kept going.

Along the way, the internet grew and we bumped into more and more people. I saw what was working and what wasn’t working for other people. We were in the military so we moved a few times - so this gave me opportunities to tap into different communities and see how families were homeschooling and unschooling there.

I started helping people get started on this path. School wasn’t working for them either.
People asked questions and I answered with what I knew.

I think I may have been in the first wave of suburban moms choosing to walk away from the neighborhood schools.
So if this is you, I know what you’re going through!
And over time, I’ve created an Unschooling 101 kind of strategy to get you onto steady ground as quickly as possible.

And here's why I want you to move quickly on this:
You're probably surrounded by people who want you to get back in line. Either put the kids back in school or at LEAST get some decent curriculum so you can be confident they're learning something.
So that's this constant push. This steady drip (or maybe it's like a wave pool!) - but it's working on you.
So the sooner you have this information, the less impactful that will be.
That drip will roll off if you've already thought this through. it won't if it blindsides you or catches you on a bad day.
I've seen it happen. I don't want that to happen to you - I want you to be successful at this!

My Training Wheels Analogy

We’re all unsure in the beginning.

It’s like learning to ride a bike though. And stepping away from a school approach to learning is like taking off the training wheels. You’re wobbly at first. But those training wheels slow you down. And after a while, you don’t need them at all. AND.. without them, you can ride faster, more smoothly. You can feel the wind blowing in your face - it’s what Freedom feels like.

So I’ve created an Unschooling 101 approach.. I want you to get past the wobbles as quickly as possible. You don’t need to run back to those training wheels.

This mini-course I created, started as a 10-day challenge in my membership group .
(and it's still in there, if you want to join us)
It has short videos - even shorter than these 10 minute peptalks.
It’s enough to give you something to go on AND not overwhelm you.
A couple minutes of chatting and then some action steps.

First Things First... Unschooling = Individualization

It starts with an unschooling explanation and how it’s really all about individualization.This is why the general one-size-fits all curriculum approach never fits anyone. I've created a Supply list for you - so you can get your home ready for this unschooling lifestyle.

Fear and Overwhelm

But if you’re still feeling a little overwhelmed, I have something specifically for you. All those fears are coming at you. They crowd out the successes, the things that ARE going right.

As soon as you notice something good, does some voice in your head immediately rush in to remind you of any (or all?) of the shortcomings? These fears and negative talk squeeze out the good stuff keeping us in this permanent state of stress. We need to get that voice under control. I have some suggestions to stop the swirling doubts - I’ve used them with lots of parents - I know it will help you too.

Setting Up Your Home

Maybe it would help to give you practical tips for setting up your home for unschooling. We’re going to focus on the feelings and functions that you want your home to have - because that’s all part of this individualization process. It has to fit your family’s interests and preferences. I have an entire workbook just for setting up your home. We all want homes where the kids can gather what they need to go off on the next adventure - or that soft landing place to recharge their batteries. It’s not like a home where the kids are gone all day to school. It’s a different way to live, and I have practical suggestions to help you shift your perspective.

The Heavy Lifting: Your Internal Work

You can’t tackle unschooling without doing what I call “the internal work.” I used to say that kind of casually and parents would come back asking,

“What do you mean?”

I think they thought unschooling was just about the kids and their education. And while that IS the initial focus for most families, you’re going to have obstacles to overcome that you don’t even realize are there. You’ll know soon enough though! You’ll be puttering along and suddenly, one of these obstacles will jump out from behind the corner. How you react is going to depend on whether you were prepared for it. And while we all have a variety of fears and worries, there are some that are common with most of us. Things I’ve seen over and over again. We’ll start with those. Sometimes our fears come from other people - comments or judgements they make. And sometimes we’ve internalized some of their concerns ourselves. We just have to pull these out into the light and look at them.

We have a lot of People Pleasing traits in us, don’t we?

So that’s why it’s important for us to tackle our own “Why?” “Why ARE we choosing to do this?”

What are YOUR reasons that we walked away from the traditional conventional approach to learning?

I have workbooks in there to walk you through this - as well as a workbook to help you tackle those fears - or at least identify which ones are screaming the loudest right now. It’s not enough to just listen to a podcast and let my words wash over you. It helps, but it’s only going to scratch the surface. You’re going to need to dive a little deeper into these internal conversations you’re having if you want to tackle them once and for all. Luckily, I’ve made it really easy for you to start to examine it all.

We’ll also need to look at our own school experiences...what we liked, what we didn’t.

You’d be surprised how much that will creep into your expectations for your kids. And we’ll talk some more about deschooling. A lot of parents think that deschooling is something the kids need to do. Some kind of a Reset time, where they can transition from the school environment and the home environment for learning.

And they do.

But not NEARLY as much as WE need to deschool. Ours doesn’t have to do with anything that recently happened with the kids. It has to do with the conditioning that we went through from years of being told there’s only one right way to learn, and everyone else is wrong… or an entire collection of ideas that we were told year after year. It will be your hardest thing to unpack, probably. Most of us went to at least 12 years of traditional school, add on a few more years for college and that’s a lot to dismantle. Sure, some of it was good - and some we may even want to do with our kids - but looking at the underlying motivations AND the consequences you may not have even considered?… that’s all part of deschooling.

I’m going to walk you through how unschoolers learn what they need to know. How you’re going to find those subjects weaving through the kids’ activities. It’s all in there, but you may need a little help SEEING it. It gets easier over time - kind of like cleaning off a lens. Still, different ages bring in new concerns - that’s why it helps to keep learning about how unschooling really does work from families like mine who’ve done it. In this last section of my course, I’m going to help you build your own Unschooling Curriculum. There are components to include - and what you do will depend on your kids, your situation, all the things that make you unique.

So that’s my strategy for helping you get onto solid ground as far as unschooling goes.
This course is included in the membership group, but if you’d like hop into it now, it would be a great way to save you a lot of second-guessing down the road.

Switching from Homeschooling to Unschooling

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sun, 05 Jan 2025 18:01:05 GMT

If you’ve been homeschooling and following the regular school schedule, you’re wrapping up this semester.

And, can we be totally honest here?
It wasn’t that great.

Or at least it’s not the joyfilled learning scenarios you had envisioned.

��‍♀️You thought you had a plan, maybe you did have one.

��Maybe you even spent a lot of money on some cool stuff that was supposed to be really engaging... and the kids are just not having it.

��Or maybe they’re KIND OF doing it, but it’s a power struggle.

Maybe you’re brand new to all of this and you just chose curriculum that everyone said would be good. And it’s not that great. Or YOU like the curriculum, but your kids dont.

MAYBE you’re NOT brand new to all of this, but you’ve been slowly getting more and more lax with your lesson plans.
What used to work, doesn’t now. And sometimes I hear from parents who have been homeschooling and they’ve tried every type of curriculum. And for one reason or another, nope...not that one either.
Or maybe one worked for a little bit, and the...it didn’t.

Brand New? or Not-so-New to all of this

OK, so we have 2 types of people - the brand new people who are trying to figure out how to provide a good education for the kids in a way that everyone can be happy... or happy-ish.

And the homeschooling mom who is secretly googling unschooling to see if maybe THIS could work.
Or maybe they had the wrong idea about it initially, or...how DOES it actually work, anyway?

And if that’s not bad enough, in either one of these scenarios, you think the problem is you.
You think your curriculum isn’t working because of a lack of follow through or discipline or patience… or something!
You see those instagram posts from moms who have kids happily messing with their lapbooks or doing art projects or asking curious questions. And that’s a far cry from what’s happening at your house. Your kids are just waiting for you to be done.

You might even start to think you’re not cut out for this...maybe not organized enough, or creative enough - you’re just not making it sparkly enough! At first, I was going to say, in a kind of snarky way,

“well, you know, you ARE the product of the public school system probably.
No wonder you’re flopping at this!”

And then I thought... well, that’s not really a snarky thing - that’s facts!

You were taught for 12 years that subjects have to be linear, one after another, no deviation.
You were taught that the teacher will pour the information over you and you will cough it back up for them to prove how well you listened.
Then the reward of the gold star or the promising future or the special look of approval that you just HANG ON waiting for...

So you try to duplicate that only making it a little bit shinier...and your kids resist.

And I know how unnerving that is, because you’re thinking,
"Wow... this is so much better than what I endured for 12+ years... how come they’re not grateful?"

But you know, they don’t have the same life experience you’ve had.
They can’t make that comparison and if you’re waiting around for that to somehow happen, for them to suddenly REALIZE how lucky they are... uh...you’re in for a few disappointing years.

Ok. So here we are. End of the semester. And it hasn't been working.

And you really don’t want to say that out loud to too many people.
If you’re in that category of Not-New Homeschooler ... you run in a circle of homeschooling mamas who SEEM to have it all figured out. You don’t want to come across as the renegade.
Or the lame one...the one that just can’t get their kids in gear.

And if you’re in the category of New to Homeschooling , you know that if you say this isn’t working to your friends and family, they’ll either say, “I told you so.” or rush over to bring you back into the fold.

So what do you do?

You’re back to the internet all by yourself to see if maybe this unschooing thing could work. You listen to these podcasts, maybe read a few blogposts. Then all those internal arguments pop up.
All those anti-unschooling comments you’ve heard over the years.

Oh man... you really didn’t want to turn into THAT person, now did you?
The spiraling begins, right?

My point in all of this is that I KNOW what’s going on with you. I’ve been there. And, I’m happy to tell you, I know the way out. So think of yourself as wandering in this cave. And suddenly, I show up with a flashlight! That’s what I want to do here, show you a few steps to help you move in a direction to get you out of this cave of despair you’re in! And you know what’s kind of cool too? You’re so close to the exit! You just have to make a couple of turns and VOILA! The light! You can get out of there!

OK, I know. I’m being dramatic. But when you know you don’t want to send your kids to school, and you can’t figure out what you’re supposed to do, and the pressure is building, the fears are getting louder… it can be pretty awful. YOu’re not alone and there really ARE solutions!

5 Steps to

Start the Transition from Homeschooling to Unschooling

This is yor starting place. You'll have your own obstacles to overcome - and I can help you do that!
But what you're doing isn't working, so I want to help you get unstuck.

1. You don’t have to use the word unschooling.

If you’re new and "unschooling" doesn’t mean anything good or bad to you - that’s great.
Use it as compass to help you find ways to learn that allow you to prioritize the learner and their interests, individualize the information and experiences, and learn how to live as if school doesn’t even exist.

If you’re NOT new to all of this, unschooling may have a negative connotation for you. So set the term unschooling aside. Use it for looking things up, but don’t put on the T-shirt.
Just think of it all as an Individualized experiential approach to learning, using the world as your classroom instead of a set curriculum.

If you’re in those homeschooling circles that are a little anti-unschooling, just don’t say anything about what you’re doing for now. Go push the kids on the swing when the topic of spelling tests or math facts come up. You do not have to wear any kind of label... you don’t really even have one that fits you...
“almost unschooling”,
“relaxed homeschooling,”
“Life learners...”
Nah...just skip the labels.

If someone asks, just say, “you know, we’re just trying to figure out what will work for us...” then trail off, change the subject, chuckle like you may be losing your mind...and it will be ok.

I have an Unschooling Facts Sheet , you can have - a free PDF that will help you get a little clarity quickly.

2. Your assignment is Deschooling.

I know, you’ve heard the word and you think the kids did it. Or you took a couple of weeks and got caught up on laundry and called that your deschooling time.
Yes, maybe there was some decompression happening, but that’s not really deschooling.
Deschooling is actively breaking down those ideas that don’t serve us. It’s examining what’s real and what isn’t. What we were convinced mattered so much - and what really doesn’t matter at all. IT’s often not the thing things that were pounded into us for all those years.

So every day, listen to something, read something, watch something about deschooling .

If you join my membership group , I have an entire 30-day challenge in there about deschooling. It’s a great walk through to help you do this. I do have a Deschooling Playlist at Youtube , you could do too.

I’d love to be able to tell you that doing those 30 days of focusing on Deschoolin... that that will be all you need. But that’s not true. You may have an epiphany - you may feel so much better and confident. But inevitably, something will happen and your old way will rear it’s head. Some comparison. Some inadequacy. Some fact that they didn’t know that you think,

“Oh come on, all 10 year olds know this. Why not my kid?” and then it will be time to deschool again.
It really happens in waves. But when you know this, you don’t get blindsided when it pops up again. It’s part of this ever-evolving parenting thing we’re doing. KIds are growing, we’re growing, things change.

3. Talk less, listen more.

Stop trying to run the show. It will be ok if things don’t go as planned. Spend time observing and learning more about the natural tendencies of your kids. Maybe even of yourself! Maybe you’ve been trying to fit into something that doesn’t really work for you either. Use this time as exploring what really fits everyone.

Who’s a morning person, who’s a night owl?

Who really needs a 4:30 snack and who just needs to run around the house a couple of times to get some energy out? Learn more about everyone’s personality without trying to fix anything or mold anyone. It’s funny how differently the kids will act with you when you do this.
Sometimes the resistance that we’ve been getting is because we’re not hearing what they’re trying to tell us.

4. Think about Your Own Why?

why are you doing this? What are YOUR priorities when it comes to kids and learning and the relationship you have with them and their relationship with the world. Sometimes we get so busy checking the boxes, we don’t take the time to think about what really matters the most to us. Make a list.

5. Brainstorm with the Kids

What would they like to do more of? What foods, what movies, what games, what inside stuff, outside stuff? What would a perfect world look like to them? Then your role is to help them see it all as a big buffet. What could you add to the buffet? If they say, Minecraft morning to night - you can say, “Wow! THAT would be awesome! What if we do that on THURSDAY? And help them do it? AND… let’s also do this and that. I like to think of it the way Actors do Improv. It’s about acceptance and saying YES. Of course, not yes to everything, but no kneejerk resistance to an idea. What PART of the idea CAN you embrace? That’s the part you say yes to! And one of the lines Improv actors learn to say when someone tosses the line to them is, “Yes, Annnndddd….” So spend some time consciously saying, “Yes, and…” That’s how brainstorming works! So many parents start brainstorming with their kids and are surprised to hear them show some interest in some new area. We have to carve time out to ask and listen to the answers. I do have a brainstorming tool that will help you do this. It has ideas for you to ponder as well as journaling pages to help you actually brainstorm with the kids.

That’s probably a pretty good assignment list for you!

But What About...

And while you may be saying, “yes,” your brain is also thinking, “But what about..."

Let me address those too:

Won’t they fall behind if we do this instead of curriculum? No. They’ll have an opportunity to learn at the pace that fits them - and you’ll get the opportunity to see what that is. Not just try to fit them into the package you bought. They won’t fall behind because you’re stepping off the conveyor belt. Their progress will be personal progress. Not comparison progress. You can’t fall behind yourself.
How will they learn what they need to know? As you learn more about deschooling, you’ll see that there’s no finish line, no time line that everything must be known. When they need to know it, THAT will be the catalyst to learn it. And it’s the BEST reason, the BEST motivator. So much better than someone saying, Someday you’ll need this. Or Because I said it matters.” No one really responds well to that. Remember, the Basics ARE the basics because they show up in every day life. And if they don’t… do you REALLY need to focus a lot of time on that?
What if we don’t like this, how hard will it be to catch up? Kids are resilient. Truth is, if you had to do some more traditional approach to learning later down the road, at least the kids would have had this respite time. AND it would have given them the opportunity to mature and grow. So much research is done about kids being forced to learn things too soon - and it takes so much longer. When kids learn facts later, it’s often much quicker.
Will doors close if we do this? Like college or career options? Nope! More doors actually open! Kids who are allowed to learn like this are able to see what their own interests and preferences are. When they can move in that direction, they have more life experiences in these areas making them IDEAL candidates for colleges and careers when the time comes.
How do I get a handle on my own worry and anxiety over this? Read more. Put yourself on an Unschooling Workout Plan. Dedicate a little time each day to learn more and undo some of the old way of thinking. You don’t jump off a couch and climb a mountain! It will take a little self-discipline to rewire some of this… but a little bit every day adds up. And, exposing yourself to more people who embrace learning differently from the norm will help a lot. That may even mean to step away from some of your more hard-core homeschooling friends for a little bit. Especially if they make you feel pressured or judged. My mom used to say, “Maybe you need some new friends… just for a little while.” Try to stay in some common neutral ground, or take a little break. Come hang out with us in my private coaching group - you’ll get a lot of support - and that will definitely build up your confidence. Sometimes that’s all it takes to be able to move through your regular circles of friends… just knowing you have other friends too, that get it.

OK...that’s a lot for today! I hope it helps!

Remember, you’re not stuck what you've been doing. You can make whatever changes need to happen for your family. You have that freedom to move around and find what will work for you. Don't expect to get it all right immediately. Making mistakes shows you what's working and what isn't - and then you are able to create a realistic road map of wht what will work and what won't for your unique family.

You don’t have to know the whole plan ahead of time, you just have to keep learning more about your options! No one taught you how to individualize things - so that's what we're figuring out together here!

Reach out if you need more support and remember that podcast listeners don’t have to pay that sign up fee to join the membership group!

Listen to the Podcast:

What's In & What's Out in 2025?

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Fri, 03 Jan 2025 18:40:55 GMT

Ins and Outs for 2025

...for Unschooling Parents

Have you seen the trend for this?

I modified it to fit us!

I'll list resources below to help you dive deeper on any of these.

✅ Ins

Interest-Led Learning – Following your child’s passions and curiosities to drive education.

Family Connection - prioritizing conversations and listening to kids (late night nachos anyone?)

Brainstorming Time - Plan (with the kids) fun things to do this month instead of following a curriculum. Brainstorm Guide

Community Connection – Tapping into the community to expand your world and build relationships. More Community

Seasonal Learning – Using Winter to help kids learn what they need to know Winter Unschooling Guide

Micro-Adventures – Small, everyday explorations to ignite curiosity (think neighborhood scavenger hunts or backyard experiments). Unschooling as a Compass

Mid-Week Adventures - go when lines are short and crowds are minimal

Gamified Education – Emphasizing playfulness as kids learn strategy AND subjects! More Games

Flexible Schedules – Allowing the rhythm of your family’s day dictate the flow Structure & Schedules

Life Skills Focus – The Real World offers so many opportunities to learn! Teen Mini-Bundle has This!

Creative Documentation – Scrapbooks, blogs, or digital portfolios to record learning experiences. Record Keeping

Personalized Progress Tracking – Using journals or apps to celebrate growth - no need for grading!

Personal Goals - Growing your unschooling confidence with deliberate actions (Use Sue’s freebie)

Parent Self-Care – Prioritizing time for personal growth and relaxation to show up fully for your kids

Expanded Lens of Learning – Seeing education everywhere: in family movies, car chats, or detours home. These moments spark connection, discovery and looking at the world differently!

❌ Outs

Curriculum Dependency – Using grade or age level benchmarks to chart the educational course.

Joy-Less Learning - Forcing kids to do one more workbook page “so we can check it off”

Over-Scheduling – Feeling the need to fill every moment with structured activities.

Comparison Culture – Worrying about what other homeschooling families are doing.

People Pleasing - never learning to trust yourself and your decisions about what’s best for YOUR kids.

Explaining Yourself - trying to get others to see the value you see

Worksheet Overload – Focusing on busywork and checking boxes

Standardized Milestones – Instead of Individualized Learning. About Testing

Screen Time Guilt – Shaming yourself for kids for learning and loving technology. Unschooling Guide: Technology

Top-Down Teaching – Prioritizing parent-led lessons over learner-driven exploration.

Isolation – Trying to do everything alone without seeking community or support.

Fear of Failing – Doubting your ability to pull this off

Rigid Daily Plans – Sticking to a strict schedule instead of adapting to the day’s flow - because that’s what you think “good moms” do.

Staying the Course - because you’re too scared to switch things up - even though no one is happy or thriving.

"No Fun Until Work's Done" – Treating fun like dessert after the "veggies" of lessons, leaving everyone too drained to enjoy it. (Missing that learning is weaving IN all that fun!)

Subscribe at YouTube!

I'm hoping to turn these into a Video/Podcast this weekend!

Looking Back and Moving Forward - Celebrating the Unschooling Community

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 18:32:55 GMT

New Year's Eve!

Here we are, at the end of the year, I’m getting ready to do the final coaching call in my membership group. It’s more of a Co-Working session where everyone is using the New Years workbook for Unschoolers (yes, you can get it at the Unschooling Mom2Mom shop, but it’s included in the membership )

Anyway, they will be working on all the things that happened in their family over the last year.

The learning. The progress. The adventures.

And I will be documenting what happened within the group:

...what new Challenges or mini-courses I created for them,

...what books we read together,

...what PDFs I made because of a question that popped upon a coaching call or within a discussion.

I love making these, so we have hundreds that are only available inside the membership.

But as I was thinking about the year, I was thinking about the people in the membership group and the actual transitions that have happened. The fears they were able to overcome because they were in the group.
And that makes me really happy to create a space where parents can let go of the old ways that aren’t working:
A place to brainstorm together, commiserate, and help each other along.

For instance,

They send photos of the learning happening in their homes. Examples of how they’ve had a shift and can SEE that subjects are weaving through the experiences that their kids are having.
Or they’re talking about their teens going through a tough time and how they’ve learned to listen and connect with them.
Or the moms that were so worried about how this play-based life was ever going to give their kids the opportunity to learn math. We always worry about math, right? But now they can see that math happens in so many ways that don’t look like school math. And they count too. Plus, they talk about how when they stopped panicking about math, their relationships with their kids improved. And they felt less stressed.
Some how spouses that weren’t really onboard unschooling, but they’ve learned how to talk to them about it in a way that helps them see the learning that’s actually happening.
Some needed progress reports to turn into their states or their evaluators, and we helped them confidently translate the kids’ unschooled lives into acceptable documentation. We created transcripts and report cards and end-of-year evaluations that satisfied all the requirements.
Sometimes we had to work through the ideas of kids and motivation or follow-through, getting ok with so much playtime, and undoing so much of the worry that comes from all that school-conditioned thinking that learning has to be boring or hard or some kind of drudgery.
We talked a lot about structure and how to adapt that to the individuals in the family. What typical days looked like, and shared examples of what worked and what didn’t!
We talked about making friends - our kids AND us! Our own People Pleasing traits and how we deal with critics - including that inner critic that never seems to take a break!
We read parenting books and discussed what parts were more unschooling-aligned and what werent. Some were mainstream parenting authors and quite a few dealt with neurodivergence.
We commiserated with each other in group coaching calls, through the WhatsApp channel, on facebook and in the private forum we have.

We’ve had over 100 group coaching calls this year , monthly book discussions and workshops, private podcasts.
We’ve had monthly challenges and mini-courses that tackle the topics that trip us up - like

�� Getting organized,

�� Typical Unschooling Days,

�� Coping with Technology,

�� Deschooling,

�� Critics,

�� Not going back to school

... and more!

I thnk I’m telling you all of this because if you’re feeling isolated -or you’re floundering - or maybe you’re being really hard on yourself because that curriculum that everyone said was going to work, didn’t. I want you to see that you’re not alone.

You could surround yourself with a community parents that could help you get through this -that could help you AND your kid actually THRIVE!

Some of us do better when we have others around us who GET us, who aren’t going to give us the side-eye because we want to carve out a truly unique path that FITS our family.

I can be there, holding your hand through this. ��

I promise, it gets easier.

But sometimes doing it alone can be a lot of 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Progress, yes. But harder than it has to be. Come for a month, come for a year - some parents have been in the group since it started in 2016! Their kids are about to graduate!

It really helped me to pick the brains of other parents - mostly moms - on this path. And so that’s why I created this group. I want you to have that opportunity too - no matter where you live in the world! Thanks for indulging me on my little walk down memory lane with my membership group this year. It’s been my honor and pleasure to hang out with these parents all year. You’re always welcome to join us!

Get Unschooling Support this Spring!

I’ve decided to create a 6-month package where you can spend a little less than the month by month plan - but you can have support all the way through the spring - to the end of the school year. I’ll put a link to that in the notes below.

If you need support - it’s ready and waiting! We’d love to have you join us. Happy New Year!

I hope it brings you everything you visualize when you think about learning and living with your kids instead of sending them off to school or forcing them to jump through the hoops of traditional homeschooling curriculum.

It really can be a wonderful adventure - and a fabulous childhood!

You all deserve that.

Happy New Year ��

Happy Unschooling!

The In-Between Days: Rethinking Your Educational Path

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 26 Dec 2024 19:44:30 GMT

The Liminal Space Between Homeschooling and Unschooling

Welcome to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. If you’re feeling a little uncertain or even uneasy about where you are in your educational journey, you’re not alone. Maybe last semester didn’t go well. And now the holidays are behind you and you’re just not sure what to do next. Some of that has to do with this weird time between Christmas and New years. They call it a Liminal Space. But you may be in a liminal space of your own - between leaving school and not knowing what to do next. Or between homeschooling in traditional way and exploring how unschooling could make the process better.

So I want us to take these next 10 minutes and Pause, Reflect, and Reset.

I know it can feel a little disorienting, but it’s ok. I’m right here with you.

And actually, this Liminal Space is the perfect opportunity to take a breath, get a little clarity and think about your next steps.

What is a Liminal Space?

Is that word, “ liminal space” new to you? It’s just a fancy word for a time of transition—a threshold between what was and what is to come. In the calendar, this last week of December is kind of a collective pause. The hustle of the holidays is over, but the fresh start of the new year hasn’t quite arrived. It’s a moment of in-betweenness, where routines loosen, and possibilities emerge.

This concept isn’t just tied to holidays; it happens in other parts of life, too. When we move from one way of thinking to another, we often pass through a liminal period. It’s unsettling… but it’s full of potential.

The Liminal Space Between Traditional Homeschooling and Unschooling

For a lot of parents, the shift from traditional homeschooling to unschooling feels like stepping into the unknown. Traditional homeschooling often mimics school at home: structured curricula, schedules, and external standards. But at some point, many families find themselves stuck. They’ve tried all the curricula, spent hours grading, and planned meticulously, only to feel like something isn’t clicking.

This is the liminal space. It’s that uncomfortable middle ground where you’re questioning everything you thought education should be. It’s also where transformation happens. So instead of scrambling frantically to fix this uneasiness, we can take this pause together and look at what worked and what didn’t.

You know, really, this is how you shift from doing what is familiar (but not working) to truly individualizing the learning at your house.

Instead of trying to find the “right” curriculum, it’s about shifting focus.

Change the question:

“What does my child love?"
"What lights them up?"
"What kind of learning environment allows their curiosity to thrive?”

The Cart Before the Horse

In traditional approaches, the focus is often on the curriculum—as if education is a product you can buy. Parents inadvertently put the cart before the horse, expecting the curriculum to mold their child into a learner. But education that actually sticks isn’t about memorizing random facts out of context. It’s about engaging with ideas and skills that resonate deeply with the learner.

When parents let go of the idea that education must start with a prepackaged plan, they discover the power of starting with the child. Their interests and passions become the foundation for meaningful, lasting learning. Instead of plowing through worksheets, kids are solving real-world problems, exploring their curiosity, and building knowledge they’ll actually remember.

Their curiosity or desire to do something they don’t have the skill for yet, because the CATALYST, the reason to tackle challenges. It’s not about meeting arbitrary benchmarks for their age - it’s about pursuing goals they truly care about, because they want the end result.

A lot of parents worry that their kids don’t “stay with something that’s hard” or they “walk away if it gets hard.”
But the truth is, they walk away because they don’t see the end result as worth the struggle.

Kids face challenges for something they value—like leveling up in a game or mastering a skill in a beloved hobby—you’ll see them persist until they succeed. Even from a young age, children instinctively weigh effort against reward, doing their own cost-benefit analysis. So, it’s not about lacking grit or willpower; it’s about finding the right motivation.

Lessons from the Holiday Liminal Space

Think about the days between Christmas and New Year’s. It’s a time when normal rules and routines relax. People might take long walks, stay up later than usual, binge a favorite show, or have deep conversations over hot cocoa. It’s unstructured yet fulfilling, and often, moments of clarity or inspiration emerge during this time.

The same holds true for unschooling. When we give ourselves permission to pause and reflect instead of rushing to fill the gap with more structure, we open the door to something better. We discover the kind of education that aligns with our children’s natural rhythms and interests. That’s when real, memorable learning happens.

Embracing the Transition

Liminal spaces can feel uncertain and even a little scary. But they’re also where transformation occurs. Just like thiS last week of December, it can set the tone for the year ahead, the transition from traditional homeschooling to unschooling can shape a lifelong love of learning for your child.

Go ahead an lean into the discomfort. Reflect on what’s working and what’s not.
Trust that by focusing on connection and curiosity, you’re creating an educational journey that’s as unique and wonderful as your child. You’re truly individualizing the path.

Thank you for joining me today as we explored the parallels between the liminal spaces of holidays and education. If you’re feeling uneasy about leaving behind what’s familiar, know that you’re not alone. This in-between space is an invitation to reflect and reset.

Unschooling parents get to learn too! Like this Liminal Space concept and connecting it to the transition between familiar schooling to something that will actually work. Remember, this process isn’t about perfection—it’s about finding what works for your family and letting curiosity lead the way.

If you’re feeling uneasy about leaving behind what’s familiar, know that you’re not alone.
Transitions are tough, but they’re also where the magic of growth happens.

If you need a little extra support during this time, I have some options for you:

Discounted private coaching available for quick questions .
My membership group is also discounted this week —it’s the only time I offer the 6-month package!
Plus, I have guides and tools to help you turn the calendar over into the new year.
These are included in the membership, but if you prefer to DIY, they’re available separately too.

Let’s embrace this season of change together. Take care, and I’ll see you next time!

Discounts for YOU!

Turning toward Winter: Learning with the Seasons

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sat, 21 Dec 2024 00:47:50 GMT

Welcome to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast, where I bring you 10-minute unschooling pep talks to show you how unschooling really does work. I’m Sue Patterson , and my three unschooled kids are all in their 30s now. I have so much to share with you - what worked and what didn’t, and how you can individualize it for your kids an your family.
The shownotes have more resource links, if you want more support from me - I’m happy to help you!

Winter Solstice

Today, as the sun sets on the shortest day of the year, let’s take a moment to reflect. The Winter Solstice reminds us that even in the darkest days, there is beauty, change, and the promise of light.
As unschoolers, this seasonal rhythm can be a powerful scaffold for learning—a way to anchor curiosity and discovery in the natural flow of life.

Let’s talk about how you can use winter as a framework for your children’s learning and how my 71-page Winter Unschooling Guide can help you spark creativity and confidence along the way.

Seasons as Scaffolding

There’s something magical about the seasons, isn’t there? They’re like nature’s way of offering us a curriculum—one that doesn’t come in a textbook but is rich with lessons nonetheless. Winter invites us to slow down, to cozy up, and to explore in different ways. The cold and quiet might initially feel limiting, but really, it’s an opportunity to shift gears and embrace a new rhythm.

For unschoolers, seasons can become a natural structure for learning. Instead of relying on artificial divisions like grade levels or subjects, we can lean into what’s happening in the world around us.
What better way to learn than by observing and participating in the cycles of nature?

Acknowledging the Fear

Now, I know that some of you might still feel a little anxious.
Maybe you’re wondering, “How do I know they’re learning enough? How do I make sure we’re covering everything?”
These fears are so normal, especially if you’re just beginning your unschooling journey.

That’s why I created the Winter Unschooling Guide .

It’s not just a list of activities; it’s a way to show yourself that learning is happening organically, even when you’re not following a rigid curriculum. Sometimes breaking things down into subjects can be helpful, not because we think life fits neatly into those boxes, but because it can be reassuring to see how much your kids are exploring and discovering.

For example, your child building a snow fort? That’s engineering.

Baking cookies? Chemistry and math.

Watching how the snow reflects the moonlight? Physics and art.

It’s all there when you look at it through a different lens.

Highlights from the Winter Unschooling Guide

The Winter Unschooling Guide is packed with ideas to inspire you and your kids. In addition to looking at winter holidays, we’ll also look at so many activities that fall naturally into categories like It’s divided into categories like math, language arts, science, history, art. And so many of the activities overlap - because that’s what happens in real life. When kids are noticing frost crystals on the windows or experimenting with freezing and thawing different liquids. They’re learning Science.

They dip into social studies when they learn how other cultures have celebrations in the winter months. Learning the history or even the cultural anthropology showing how human connect with the seasons. The Winter Guide gives examples of subjects for 15 different holidays!

Kids learn about language arts by reading myths or legends. And since tonight is the Winter Solstice, maybe you could talk about Norse tales of Yule or Native American stories about the sun. It’s fascinating how cultures interpret celestial events.

When we’re measuring daylight/darkness changes, we’re learning math.

If you talk about the Earth rotation from and then back toward the sun, they’re learning science.

Playing with shadows is both science and art - perfect for this time of year and tying in with nature.

If you’re feeling like you’re running out of ideas to keep things interesting, this Winter Guide is what you need! It’s not that you need to add a bunch more items to your list! You don’t need that! But it’s about noticing what they’re already doing - and SEEING from a different perspective. A different lens. Seeing that the learning is there - without a bunch of worksheets and lesson plans.

And by skipping that, you have the time to notice the curiosity and lean toward the connection. Learning doesn’t have to be forced at all - it can be fostered and nurtured instead.

Turning Toward Winter

As we mark the Winter Solstice, see this as a time of possibility. Just like the sun will begin its slow return, perhaps this season is calling you to turn toward something new in your family’s learning journey.

Instead of resisting the natural flow, lean into it. Let winter guide you to cozy mornings with books and blankets, afternoons of experimenting in the kitchen, and evenings reflecting by the fire or candles. Let it remind you that slowing down doesn’t mean stopping; it means making room for deeper connections and discoveries.

What Next....

If you’re looking for ideas, inspiration, or just a way to organize your thoughts around this season, the Winter Unschooling Guide is here to help. You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t have to do it alone. Let this guide be a tool to help you see the learning that’s already happening all around you.

You can grab your copy by visiting the Unschooling Mom2Mom website. I’ll put a lnk in the notes.

And if you’re already feeling inspired by the solstice, start small: light a candle tonight with your kids. Talk about the sun’s return. Let that tiny flame symbolize the light of learning and curiosity that lives within each of us. Make some hand shadow puppets with flashlights - make it fun!

Thanks for joining me tonight. Remember, this isn’t just about educating your kids; you’re creating a life of wonder and connection with them. And what better season to lean into that than winter?

Until next time, stay curious and warm. Happy Unschooling and Happy Winter Solstice!

More Here:

Become an Unschooling Holiday Prepper - Surviving the Family Gatherings

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 22:32:30 GMT

Listen or Watch:

It's the week of Thanksgiving here in the USA. And I’m hearing from a lot of families who are skipping it this year.
For a variety of reasons, but, primarily, they’re just not up to the tension that will be awaiting them.
Good for you. I’m so happy to hear that our choices aren’t directed by an obligation we didn’t sign up for!

There are lots of other ways to connect with family and friends, and so I’m glad you’re doing what’s best for YOUR family.

But for those of you who ARE going to go be with friends and family,
I want to help you manage the questions that may be lobbed your way.

I can remember feeling so nervous about being put in the hot seat.
Especially if you’re all around the table and they’re not being AGGRESSIVE but you’re not ready to defend the choices yet.

The KEY is to anticipate what’s coming.
For some of the people in our path, we already know what they’re worried about -what they’re going to focus on.

Maybe their questions are academically driven:

"How will you make sure they stay on grade level? "

"How will they get into college ?"

"What if they have gaps ?"

Others are more socially focused:

"How will they make friends ?"

"Won’t they be lonely ?"

"What about all the fun they’re going to miss ?"

Then there will be questions directed at the kids.

Sometimes ... they SEEM benign - something they’ve asked kids for generations.
But because we’ve stepped off the conveyor belt, so to speak, our kids might look at them like a deer in headlights.
They’re not used to being quizzed usually.

Your relatives ask:
"What grade are you in?"
Or " What’s your favorite subject?"

They seem like simple innocuous questions. But when your kid can’t answer that easily, and they don’t “Perform well” under what seems like minimal pressure - ohhhh!!! It’s another reason to believe something is wrong with them or with you.
It’s just the confirmation they were worried about - or even expecting to see.

So... becoming an

Holiday Questioning Prepper

is what’s in order.
Just taking a few minutes to think of quick answers that can work.

I have podcasts and videos to help you dive deeper into most of these topics, I added the links above to connect them.

And for Black Friday, you can get ALL of the Unschooling Guides for nearly 75% off this week.
The Guides explore the specific fears and worries that I’ve seen - or experienced myself. You could download and read them on the drive over to the holiday get-together.

I’m thinking specifically of Guides like Socialization or Technology - maybe the Academics Guides if you’re worried about learning to read, write or do math. There are actually 23 Guides in this Ultimate Unschooling Guide Bundle . So you could have your own Unschooling Library at your fingertips the minute you need something!

That’s always been my goal - to get you good solid information so you can get those fears conquered as soon as they come up. We all have worries - and they change over time - as our kids get older - but you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Unschoolers have been discussing solutions for decades - and I’ve gathered it all for you so you don’t have to waste time searching and sifting yourself. Who has time for that?

So you can get ALL 23 Guides for only $99 - instead paying full price at $15 each. You end up saving nearly $250. I bring it up, because I don’t want you to miss out.

OK... so lets go back to a few of the questions we can expect to hear.

Let’s start with helping the kids:

Figure out what grade they’d be in - based on their age. Kids start Kindergarten at 5, 1st grade at 6, just count up from there. Here's the chart:

They COULD say,

“Well, I’m in 8th grade for Science and History,
Math is probably about 4th grade,
Spelling - don’t ask!,

but Reading, more like 6th grade.”

It’s kind of a colorful approach but may lead to more questions. Sometimes it’s easier to just say, “I’m in 4th grade,” and then go off to play.

“What’s your favorite subject?”

This typical question oesn’t have to get the “We don’t do subjects!” response, even though you don’t. ��

Subjects DO weave through every kid activity - really every LIFE activity. So you may just need to have a conversation with the kids about what subjects are sprinkled into the things they like to do.

Let me just walk you through quickly...

If you watch movies or shows, they could say,
“I love a good story. So I guess Language Arts is my favorite.”

Or maybe you have pets, or talk about seasonal changes, or have some health discussions in your home,
They can simple say, “Science.”

Or if they’re into gaming or apps - they can say, “Computer Science is my favorite.”

And if the relative says, “but what about Language arts or Math?”
The answer can simply be
“Oh, I do a ton of that! I just like it best when it’s technology-based.”

You could even pull others into the conversation with,
“I heard all the kids at the school get their own ipads now.”

On one of our group coaching calls, one of the members said that she had to face her grandmother at the Thanksgiving table when she asked, “So what do you DO all day?” arms crossed, not really approving.

But she was ready!

She jumped right into,

“I’m so glad you asked, Nana!”

And then she proceeded to tell about all the cool experiences her daughter was able to do - places they had been, activities she was involved in, including their schedule for the week. The grandma relaxed and nodded with approval.

I wouldn’t expect a kid to field this kind of question, but if you plan ahead, you can.
You can add something like, “I love tapping into the community and finding all the learning that’s out there.”
Or maybe, “Sometimes I think I’m creating an entire curriculum with Netflix and Hulu!”

And, for those whose kids are big gamers, you might say:

"Well, every day looks a little different, but our main focus is creating a lifestyle that nurtures curiosity and independence. At home, my kid is really into gaming, and it's amazing how much learning happens there—problem-solving, strategy, collaboration with others online, even storytelling and math skills. It’s not just entertainment; I’m seeing all kinds of growth and exploration."

Maybe you could add,

"we balance that with time out in the world. We travel, explore local events, and dive into activities that spark his interest. I make sure he sees what’s out in our local community, but it’s really about following their natural learning path. And the best part is seeing how engaged and curious they are, whether they’re gaming, building something, or asking questions about the world."

You could say,

“It’s definitely a different approach than what most people are used to, but it works so well for my kid. They’re thriving, and I get to see how their skills and confidence grow every day."

This kind of a response describes how intentional you’re being with this unschooling lifestyle.

Sometimes the responses you get can be,
“Wow that sounds like a lot of work.”
Or “I don’t I could ever do that.”

You can always respond with,
“Like everything, some days are harder than others.”
and
“Luckily, everyone gets to choose what’s best for them."

It lets them off the hook, so it doesn’t feel like you’re judging THEM - even though THEY were setting it all up to be judgemental about you. But... you dismantled that.

I created a quick 2-page PDF for you - a worksheet to help you get prepared for these gatherings. I’ll link to it in the shownotes below and at the blog, where you can find the transcript.

A couple things to remember,

If you’re really nervous, reach out to a couple other family members and tell them you may need them to help run interference. Or ask if they’ll help change the subject so you and your family can not feel so interrogated.
Sometimes people don’t realize that you may not feel ready to “explain yourself” in a group setting.

If you’re going to a gathering at your spouse’s family’s house - be sure to talk ahead of time about how to handle this.

Remember, if your child messes up, don’t humiliate them to prove to everyone you’re on top of it all.

Sometimes we panic and feel judged.
If you think about what could happen AHEAD of time, you’ll be ready for it if and when it does.
Your child still needs you to advocate for them - that’s why it’s important to work through these things before you’re in the thick of it.

Whether your holidays start now, or as we’re flipping the calendar over to the next month, you can prepare yourself for the questions you know are going to pop up.

I have a few other Podcasts you can listen to - and don’t forget about the Free Holiday PDF I made for you!

And - Black Friday!

Unschoolers get special deals too! I have special deals for joining our membership group - because sometimes you really need someone to be in your corner! And the incredible deal on all the Guides.

I’ll put the links below!

You can do this.

It just takes Knoweldge and Support ! And maybe a little Action on your part.

But I’m walking along with you, holding your hand.

You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

Happy Holidays - Happy Unschooling - and reach out if you need more support or resources!

Talk to you again soon!

~Sue

BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL DEALS!

Ultimate Unschooling Guide Bundle
23 Unschooling Guides designed to help you conquer fears, address doubts, and thrive in your unschooling journey.
75% off this week only!
https://suepatterson-unschooling.thinkific.com/courses/guides

Annual Membership Price Slashed!
Regularly $49/month, get this for only $29/month!!!!! What a steal!
https://www.unschoolingmom2mom.com/product/Annual-Membership-Black-Friday-Sale

Download Sue’s free Holiday Prep Worksheet here
https://unschooling-mom2mom.kit.com/b5b223393d

Field Trip Ideas - Tapping Into Your Community

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sun, 24 Nov 2024 15:51:17 GMT

Real Life Learning! Your Community is Ready and Waiting!

Many parents hesitate to unschool because they worry about not knowing enough to teach their children every subject. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to be the sole source of knowledge for your kids! Learning can happen organically when you tap into the resources in your community and embrace real-world experiences.

Think back to traditional schooling—how often did kids go on field trips? Once or twice a year? When you unschool, every day can be a field trip if you want it to be!

When I first brought my son home from going to the local public school, he was so excited about getting to go out into the community. His one Spring Field Trip had been canceled at the last minute and he was so disappointed. I told him we could go whenever we wanted! Wow! I'll always remember the look on his face!

You can have this too - learning doesn't have to look like school classrooms at all!

The Whole World can be Your Classroom!

When you shift to this kind of approach, learning is much more dynamic and memorable.
Plus, children get to see how knowledge applies in the real world.

This doesn't mean you have to flood your schedule with field trips!
Continue along the path of individualizing - and that includes setting the pace too!
Maybe it's once a week, but maybe it's not even that often?
Can you pair and activity with something you're already doing out in the community?
Sometimes getting OUT of the house can be hard - don't slip into that feeling that you need to be The Queen of Overscheduling. You don't!

What works best for you and your kids?

And... since most of us didn't grow up this way and you may be thinking, "OK, like what?"

So glad you asked! I'm going to minimize your stress and give you a bunch of ideas you can tap into for opportunities out in your community!

10 Field Trip Ideas for You & the Kids!

Here are ten creative field trip ideas not to be overlooked! I'm including some subjects they touch on, in case you're worried that there isn't enough learning! Keep deschooling - but in the meantime, here you go!

1. Farmers' Market or Local Farm Visit

Subjects: Biology, Agriculture, Economics, Nutrition
Children can learn how food is grown, explore seasonal produce, and even discuss supply and demand with local vendors. Many farms also offer tours to show the lifecycle of plants and animals.

2. Art Museum or Local Art Walk

Subjects: Art, History, Culture, Storytelling
Explore paintings, sculptures, and installations. Discuss the historical context of the pieces or learn about techniques and materials used by the artists.

3. Science or Natural History Museum

Subjects: Science, History, Geology, Engineering
These spaces offer interactive exhibits on everything from the solar system to dinosaurs. Many museums also have hands-on workshops designed for kids.

4. Nature Hike or State/National Park

Subjects: Biology, Ecology, Physical Education, Geography
Observe wildlife, identify plants, learn about ecosystems, and build a connection with nature. Plus, hiking is great exercise!

5. Historic Town or Heritage Village

Subjects: History, Civics, Social Studies, Architecture
Step back in time by visiting a historic area where reenactments or guided tours bring history to life. Learn about different periods and how people lived.

6. Local Theater or Community Performance

Subjects: Drama, Language Arts, Music, Storytelling
Attend a play or musical and explore the elements of storytelling, performance, and stage design. Many theaters offer behind-the-scenes tours as well.

7. Factory Tour

Subjects: Science, Math, Technology, Economics
Learn how products like candy, furniture, or cars are made. Many factories offer tours that include the science behind their processes.

8. Animal Shelter or Wildlife Center

Subjects: Biology, Ethics, Social Responsibility
Interact with animals, learn about their care, and discuss the role of shelters in the community.

9. Planetarium or Observatory

Subjects: Astronomy, Physics, Math
Explore constellations, planets, and the vastness of space. Many planetariums have programs that are perfect for kids of all ages.

10. Grocery Store Tour and Cooking Class

Subjects: Math, Health, Life Skills, Chemistry
Teach kids how to plan a meal, stick to a budget, and shop for ingredients. Then, cook together to learn about nutrition and the science of cooking.

Why This Approach Works

These experiences do more than teach specific subjects—they ignite curiosity and connect children with the world around them. Kids start to see that learning isn’t confined to a textbook or classroom; it’s everywhere! As parents, your role is not to “know it all” but to facilitate and encourage exploration.

When you tap into your community, you’ll discover countless resources and opportunities for your children to engage, learn, and grow. You’re no longer restricted by a school calendar or budget—field trips can happen whenever inspiration strikes.

So, take a step back from the pressure of being a “teacher” and embrace your role as a guide and partner in learning. The world is your classroom—enjoy exploring it together!

Which of these ideas are you most excited to try?

Or do you have other field trip ideas to share?

Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear how your unschooling journey unfolds!

Here's a list of 20 more ideas to get you started!

Botanical Garden
Zoo or Aquarium
Local Library Tour
Fire Station Visit
Police Station Tour
Recycling Plant or Landfill Tour
Airport or Train Station Tour
Television or Radio Station Visit
Local Bakery or Restaurant Kitchen Tour
University Campus Tour

Wildlife Refuge or Wetland Area
Rock Climbing Gym or Adventure Park
Local Government Building (City Hall or Courthouse)
Wind Farm or Solar Energy Facility Tour
Local Monument or Landmark Visit
Cemetery Tour to Explore Local History
Fishing Trip or Marina Visit
Concert or Symphony Performance
Petting Zoo
Science Lab or Maker Space Tour

I live in the Austin area, and we have a variety of websites - with social media and email too - that offer so many ideas for the local community. Ours is 365 Fun Things to do in Austin . I'm sure you have something similar - go ahead and Google it! Let the adventures begin!

An Unschooling Shift to Gratitude

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Mon, 18 Nov 2024 20:08:33 GMT

Podcast Transcript

Welcome back to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast! I’m Sue Patterson and I want to pop in here to give you little mini-peptalks. You can always get more support from me:

But today, I want us to focus on gratitude. The world may have all kinds of things going sideways... but you get to control how you handle it. And...equally important, you are the compass for your kids. How you’re reacting will set the pace. I have a couple of past podcasts about Gratitude and I’d like you to go listen to them.

Maybe this week, plan to listen to this one, and another on Wednesday and another on Friday. Or if you have 30 minutes, you can crank out all three. I’ll put this transcript at the blog, so you can refer back to it. Put the link in your calendar, schedule a time to immerse yourself... here’s why.

When we’re opting for this unschooling route, there’s no conveyor belt moving us along. We have to do that for ourselves. And that’s not something most of us are really good at yet. We’ve grown up with other people telling us what to do, where to step, when to be there… so SOMETIMES, it turns into just going from putting out one fire to another. That squeaky wheel thing. Our days can sometimes feel like that. I get it - mine felt like that a lot of the time too.

But LEARNING how to be intentional with pieces of our day - that’s what I want to help you do.

You’ll still have to put out fires, but if you carve out 15 minutes for this, you WILL see a difference. A difference in YOUR own attitude, your own reactions to the inevitable problems that will pop up - and if you show your kids how to do that, they’ll develop a skill that you didn’t learn as a kid.

So, where WOULD you fit it in?

You don’t have to have a fancy journal - even though that’s usually the most recommended thing.

You could just have something to remind you to THINK about something you’re grateful for. Something that went well. Maybe you grab a scrunchy and put it on your wrist.

Then when you look at it, you can look around - what’s good?

What’s happening right now that’s going well?

The heat running?

Food in the fridge?

Wifi is still strong?

You found the phone charger?

Challenge yourself to think of 3 things every time you look down at your scrunchy.

Not only will this help you develop a gratitude practice, but you’re refocusing on the present moment. No regrets about the past decisions, no fear about the future. The here and now.

You could even set alarms on your phone to pop up 3 times a day, with a “Whats Good Right Now?” message.

My coaching group met this morning and we talked about even using a white board for Gratitude. Just random notes written graffiti style up there. Or maybe you could stick post-it notes on a bulletin board - or just on the wall. Another person in our group uses a big bay window and washable markers to make it interesting for the kids - and be right there reminding you.

Maybe things like big fluffy clouds against that blue sky.

Or autumn leaf changes.

Or the golden sunlight in the evenings.

Maybe it’s gratitude for a pet or for warm cookies or hair detangler. (I know, random. Just remembering when my daughter was 7 and we had a terrible time with her hair!)

Another thing we talked about on the call was something I reminded myself when I was looking at those past podcasts about gratitude. There’s a video at the bottom of one of the pages where she talks about those nightly conversations of gratitude. I was thinking about my grandson, who often FORGETS the good things that happened during the day, so if I say, “What went right today?” I get a blank stare. Or “Not much.” For some kids, that’s a lot of pressure. And maybe they have a tendency to be a little more Eyore-ish.

So in that video, she talked about helping the kids create a habit. So throughout the day, when something goes right, you can say “Hey! Let’s remember this for tonight when we’re thinking of our Top 3 Things That Were Good Today."

We can help them find those things, so they can go to bed with a little feeling of gratitude for their day.

Maybe all week, you’re going to think about gratitude in little recurring spots in your day. They talk about creating new habits that way: Pairing it with something you always do. So you think about gratitude while you have your coffee. Or while you’re in the shower. Maybe you put a post it note on the mirror that says: Shampoo/Gratitude as a reminder. Or when you’re waiting to pick someone up from somewhere. Use a washable marker and put Gratitude? In small letters on your rearview mirror. Or hang a post-it note off of there.

Grateful AS Unschoolers

And since this is Unschooling Mom2Mom, I want to give you some reasons you can be grateful AS an unschooler.

Grateful that...

It’s legal to do this. Or if you’re in a country where it’s not legal, that you’ve found a way.
You get to be with your kids and help them develop into who they were meant to be.
They get to pursue their curiosities and see them as valuable.
They they get to skip all the conditioning to be a People Pleaser, or passively waiting for information to be fed to them.
They can learn to be resource finders and move deeper into it or skip around dabbling until something peaks their fancy.
They can learn how THEY like to learn best and that sometimes we do things differently from other people. And it’s okay.

We are able to sleep when our body says we need it, adjust our day to our energy level, and not to requirements of some system.

Maybe we’re grateful that we found another way.

A way that could be truly individualized for the people in your family.

A way that didn’t duplicate school or school-at-home homeschooling.

A way where we could prioritize our relationship with our kids and help them learn to navigate the world.

Yeah. Lots to be grateful for right?

Don’t stop with just listening to this one podcast.

Think about how you can remind yourself to be grateful - just a little every day.

Unschooling Guide: Gratitude

The Gratitude Unschooling Guide is FILLED with fun activities I found for you to do with the kids - all centering around gratitude. You'll have journal pages to help YOU feel more grateful too!

When you buy this Guide, you'l get the

BONUS Gratitude Activity Guide for Kids

with even MORE ideas!

And if you want more hand-holding, I have a Gratitude Challenge that lives in the private portal of my membership group -
15 days of some little thing to focus on. It’s all about creating new habits, right?

Enjoy your week with the kids. And I’ll be back again next week.

When Dad Is Anti-Unschooling

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 20:18:00 GMT

➜ Tips if Your Spouse isn’t an Unschooling Fan ...yet! ��

It’s pretty common for one spouse to be MORE onboard with unschooling than the other.

You’re excited and they’re unsure, right? ��‍♀️

Here’s how to start bridging the gap!

�� Tip 1: Share Small Wins

Show them the magic in the everyday! Text a funny moment from the day or share something your child surprised you by knowing - how did they learn that?�� These small glimpses can really highlight the beauty of learning together.

��Tip 2: Drop Helpful Hints

Instead of a pile of articles, try sending one short, interesting snippet that addresses their biggest worry. Or, share a podcast you love while driving or doing chores together! How do they like to get their information?

�� Tip 3: Ease Their Worries

Many partners worry about social norms or academic gaps. Let’s get them some examples of unschooled kids thriving. Real stories and experiences can help them see how learning unfolds naturally. Find out what they’re REALLY worried about. You can help them unpack that.

SOLUTIONS!

��‍�� I have all kinds of paid and free tools to help you do this! You don’t have to figure this out all by yourself. ��☎️

Podcasts

Blogposts

FREE Guide

Grab this Free PDF to share with your spouse!

The resources below will help YOU gain some confidence and get some clarity as you're talking with them.

�� Unschooling Guide: Critics & Naysayers

With an entire section devoted to the reluctant spouse, this guide offers inspiration, worksheets, and resources to walk you through!

I can help you find out what's at the heart of his worries. Or maybe he needs to hear from other dads who have done this and the kids are grown - or are in the middle of it now, but comfortable and unworried.
Articles, videos, podcasts, and articles are included.

��Homeschooled Teens (Book)

75 young people respond to the top 20 questions parents have about what it’s like to be a teen who doesn’t go to school.

Are you/they worried about your children getting into college, making friends, or having a full, rich life?

Do questions like these pop up?

Would they miss the various activities associated with adolescence?
Will this choice to homeschool close doors for my teen?
Will I be warping them somehow?
Will they hate me later down the road?

Find out about:

What can “unique learning paths” actually look like?
What was their social life like?
How were their family relationships?
What advantages did they find?
Did they go to college?
What kinds of careers did they choose?
What words of advice do they have for parents?
What are they doing now?
And much more!

�� Membership Community

�� We’re doing a challenge in the membership group, “Coping with Critics” and I created exactly what YOU need to help your spouse get over this hurdle! You don’t have to go searching for podcasts, videos, and worksheets - I’ve done it for you!Plus a community of unschooling parents who’ve done it themselves - even a few dads!

��

Podcast Transcript

Let's talk a bit about dads who aren't that crazy about unschooling. Sometimes we tend to drag them along begrudgingly. Maybe a little muttering in opposition - or maybe it's a downright

"Are you out of your mind??"

Maybe dad is anti-unschooling altogether!

And yes, occasionally the dad is pro-unschooling and the mom is dragging her feet. But 90% of the time, it's the mom who likes it and the dad who is resistant. All of the information I've collected for you is applicable either way. But for this, I'm going to go with the majority and talk about reluctant dads.

Let's look at what's going on, and how we can handle it.

They’re his kids too.

First, the obvious acknowledgement: They’re his kids too.
He may have been fine with you taking the lead with regards to child care - but that was when most of the decisions were pretty conventional. But now, you seemed to have veered off the path - and he's not sure what that's all about.

Your Growth Doesn't Match His Growth

You've been reading, researching, absorbing... and he hasn't. You’ve joined groups, read blogs, and frankly you LOVE the idea of unschooling. When you eagerly share what you’ve found, he pokes holes in the idea and is not convinced. You may still be new at all of this. You’re enthusiastic - but not necessarily knowledgeable about all the questions he wants answers to.

And, yes, I know. That can feel disappointing. We want our spouse to be as gung ho about our ideas as we are! Well… I guess that’s another Life Lesson. I’ve been married over 30 years, and I have to tell you, we do not always see eye-to-eye! But we listen to each other. And we find the common ground. And that, of course, is a good starting place.

Because you’ve been exploring all the resources, you’ve conquered some of your own initial fears. He’s not there yet. Remember that when we are fearful, we tend to want to try to control the situation. That’s human nature.

What to Do:

Identify the fears.

Specifically. What is he worried about? Some of his concerns may seem shallow or irrational to you, now that you’re further along. But that’s ok. He is worried about the future of his own offspring! He deserves to be heard. (And isn’t that what all of us want anyway? Just to be heard!)
The workbook in the links will help you get to the bottom of the fears.
[This podcast was originally recorded for membership/subscribers. They received a workbook to dive deeper. It's still available if you'd like to join the membership and have access!]

And you can always come back to me if he wants to know things like:

How will he ever play sports? Maybe that was how he learned about teamwork!
Will he be bullied for being “An Outlier?”
How will he get into college?

Maybe he has other misconceptions that need to be cleared up.

Here’s a tip for Arguing 101
Don’t quickly jump in with your rebuttal.
Give him time to say all of what he has to say.
Then it’s best to be on the same side - not adversaries.

“I agree! I was worried about that too. But I read that...”
“I’ll see what I can find about that and get back to you.”

Remember too, you can always use that concept of

“Let’s try it as an experiment. Not a forever commitment. Let’s see how it goes.”

As he sees kids learning, making friends, enjoying their lives, he may begin to feel better about it all.

Helping to facilitate that kind of connection will go a long way. It will help the kids feel closer to the parent that's gone all day (and vice versa) and it will help the parent engage in interactions that SHOW how bright and curious the kids are.

It all boils down to fear, doesn’t it? ... always.

Look at what you can do to minimize it or throw a little light on it.
Know that lots of unschooling families start out this way - so don't worry that this isn't going to work before you've even begun! Time is going to help you.

Help dad by including him, listening to him. He loves the kids. And he loves you.

It’s worth the time it takes to figure out where the obstacles are and how to get past them.

So hopefully that helps you a little bit.

Do You Need More Support?

At least once a week, I hear from parents whose spouse is not on board with unschooling. Many of these parents are in the Creating Confidence Membership group. It helps to have others around us who can help us figure out how to tackle our own fears AND help our spouse overcome theirs!

The membership group offers weekly group coaching, a private supportive unschooling community, and a membership portal to a library full of resources to help you on your unschooling journey.

The support you need to be successful!

Spouses Disliking Unschooling

This is an issue that comes up all too often.

➤ Sometimes the answer is that they need more information.

➤ Sometimes an added layer of power struggle between the parents emerges.

➤ But often, their desire to return to a traditional schooling approach is because you were floundering and they wanted to swoop in and fix things - the only way they know how.

So it’s complicated and nuanced.

An Unschooler's Haunted House

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 20:57:44 GMT

Watch on YouTube

What would make an Unschooler's Haunted House?

�� The Red Pen of Doom following you

��️ The "What Curriculum are you using?" Closet of voices

⏰ The 6:30 AM Alarm Clock

�� The Cafeteria Food Fright

�� The Report Card Graveyard

�� No Cell Service

�� The What About College Ghost

☑️ The Standardized Testing hallway

��‍�� The Parent-Teacher Conference Corridor

Spooky, right? ��

An Unschooling Haunted House:

It Could Never Happen... Or Could It?

Have you ever imagined what an unschooling nightmare would look like? I’m not talking about a brief Wi-Fi outage or running out of snacks. I’m talking about an unschooling haunted house —where the horrors of traditional schooling sneak back into your home!

Imagine walking through your home, only to be confronted by... the dreaded worksheet pile that never ends, or worse, a pop quiz you didn’t prepare for! It’s the stuff of unschooling nightmares.

Here are just a few spooky scenarios to give you a little laugh:

The Endless Worksheet Room:

Just when you think you’ve finished, another worksheet appears.

And another...

You can’t escape! Swirling around you endlessly, each page blank demanding answers, erasing creativity with every mindless fill-in-the-blank. This room has no end, only rows upon rows of worksheets that seem to multiply with every desperate attempt to complete them.

The "What About College?" Ghost:

This ghost pops up at the most every time you turn around, whispering,

“But what about college?”

"How will they get in?

"What if they're REJECTED!?"

It never stops asking, no matter how many times you’ve addressed it., its voice clawing at your confidence with every doubt-filled question. The weight of other people’s expectations, lurking in the shadows, always waiting for a crack in your resolve.

The Red Pen of Doom:

A giant red pen floats ominously in the air, hovering over every creation, slashing big, merciless X’s and scrawling harsh comments across your work. No matter what you do, the pen finds something wrong. It looms, ready to critique any idea or project you begin. The constant correction feels suffocating, draining any joy from the creative process. Just when you thought you were free to learn and grow without judgment, the red pen is back—determined to leave its mark of disapproval.

The Recess Bell of Faded Freedom:

Just as you spot an empty swing, the shrill ring of the recess bell pierces the air, signaling the end of your precious break. Only 3 minutes? You're kidding!The weight of its sound drags you back into the rigid world of structured lessons, where fun is rationed and learning feels like a chore. There’s no time for lingering play or imagination—it’s back to the grind, whether you’re ready or not. The clock rules your every move, and the recess bell is the cruel reminder that freedom is fleeting.

The Standardized Testing Hallway:

As you walk through the halls, towering bubble sheets close in, and the pressure to score high haunts your every step. A faint, eerie sound of pencil scratchings echoes, filling you with dread as you notice—you’re down to only one very dull #2 pencil. Oh no! Your hand cramps up as you desperately try to darken each perfect oval. The timed ticking grows louder, each tick a countdown as if everyone’s watching, whispering,

“Are you enough? Did you make the grade?”

Suddenly, you reach a fork in the corridor. One path is marked "Correct Answers Only," the other,

“Explore Freely - if you DARE”
The choice is yours... but which one is safe?

The Pop Quiz Porch:

A surprise pop quiz appears from nowhere, and the questions? They make no sense!
Voices say,
"Oh! You weren't paying attention, were you??"

The paper flashes with impossible randome irrelevant questions - you're doomed!

The 6:30 AM Alarm Clock:

It shrieks endlessly in the background, and the distant memory of school mornings returns. You jolt awake, panicked that you're late— you're wondering what happened to your unschooling home with no rushing or covering your ears! Yet, the alarm keeps ringing, as if haunting you with the ghost of schedules past. Just the thought of those early wake-up calls sends chills down your spine.

The "Where's the Curriculum?" Closet:

You open a closet door and are instantly hit by a wave of echoing voices—parents, teachers, neighbors—all asking the same daunting questions:

“But... what are you teaching them?”

"How will they be prepared for the world?"
Their concerns swirl around you like a storm, pressure building. The closet seems endless, filled with the weight of expectations you thought you left behind. The voices persist, demanding structure and answers. You realize quickly—you've got to get out of this closet!

The Scheduled Time Slots Room:

The walls slowly close in, squeezing tighter as the clock ticks mercilessly away. Your day is divided into rigid, back-to-back 45-minute blocks, each one snapping shut before you can breathe. There’s no time for creativity, no room for curiosity—just endless time slots dictating what you should be doing next. A bell chimes, signaling the end of one block and the start of another, leaving you feeling boxed in by structure. It’s a room with no escape—you've got to break free from the chains of schedules once and for all!

The Cafeteria Food Fright:

You open your refrigerator only to find trays of unidentifiable "mystery meat" and rubbery pizza slices staring back at you. Flavor and texture only a distant dream.
The ghostly cafeteria lady shouts,

"Finish every bite if you want to leave!"

You try not to barf at the smell, but will you actually have to eat this to get out of here?

The "Prove It" Poltergeist

You finally escape the house, breathless but triumphant—until you feel a chill down your spine. A ghostly figure materializes, hovering behind you, demanding,

“Prove it! Show me what they've learned!"
"What did you use to teach them??”

Its eerie eyes narrow, unrelenting. Panic rises as you realize there’s nothing tangible you can offer—no grades, no certifications, no checklist of knowledge completed. The poltergeist sneers, reaching a cold, transparent hand toward you.

But wait—you remember! Learning is alive, evolving inside the learner's mind, where the spirit can’t follow.

The ghost hesitates, its power fading as it senses the truth: real learning is invisible, internal, and utterly beyond its grasp. With one last wail, the poltergeist vanishes, defeated.

Whew! Spooky reminders of why we unschool! Maybe to escape the rigid structures and unnecessary pressures of traditional schooling and embrace a more joyful, natural way of learning?

Happy Unschooling, and don't worry, the haunted season is almost over!

Thank goodness those days are behind you... and if they're not, let's talk!

Our Unschooling Halloween Hub!

Seasonal Unschooling

Understanding the Benefits of Unschooling

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Mon, 21 Oct 2024 19:29:49 GMT

If you’re trying to understand unschooling—or looking for a simple way to explain it to friends or family—
this page will walk through the most common questions and concerns.

Start here:

This answers most questions in about 10 minutes

Or...

Podcast transcript at the bottom of this blogpost

You don’t need to read everything below—this page is here so you can take what you need.

Unschooling:

What You Need to Know to Support the Ones You Love

1. What is Unschooling?

Unschooling is not "no schooling."
It’s an approach that encourages learning based on the child’s natural curiosity and interests. Think of it like how kids learn to walk, talk, or explore their hobbies—organically, and in ways that make sense to them.
Learning is happening all the time.
Whether it's cooking, playing, exploring nature, or reading, unschooled kids engage in meaningful learning constantly, without the constraints of a traditional school schedule.

2. How Does This Work Without Teachers or a Set Curriculum?

Parents act as guides. They provide resources, answer questions, and help facilitate learning when needed. Unschooling doesn’t mean children are left on their own—it’s a collaborative process.
Real-world experiences ARE the classroom . Kids learn math through games or cooking, history through documentaries or travel, and problem-solving through real-life challenges. Every day is a chance to learn something new.

3. What About Socialization?

Socialization happens naturally.
Unschoolers often engage with their communities, participate in group activities, clubs, sports, and interact with people of all ages—not just kids their own age in a classroom.
Developing independence and confidence.
Unschooling nurtures kids who are comfortable with social interactions in various settings. They often have more time to explore interests that lead to deep connections with others who share their passions.

4. But the World Has Changed – Is This Really a Good Idea?

Yes! The world is more adaptable now.
With technology and shifting job markets, kids today need to be flexible, creative, and critical thinkers. Unschooling encourages those exact traits. So many more ways exist for kids to learn new information - they're not limited to the traditional classroom experience.
The world needs independent thinkers. If you’re a grandparent, your children (the parents) are choosing this path because they trust themselves —something they probably learned from you! While it might look different from the past, these are skills today’s world values more than ever. Be proud that you raised a problem solver!

5. It’s Okay to Choose Differently

Every family is unique.
Just because a family chooses unschooling doesn’t mean they’re rejecting traditional paths. They’re simply choosing what works best for their situation and their children.
Support matters more than agreement.
You don’t have to fully understand or agree with unschooling to offer love and support. Trust that the parents have their children’s best interests at heart.

6. How Can I Help?

Ask questions with an open mind.
Show curiosity, not criticism. Listen to what excites the parents and children about this path.
Encourage their passions.
When a child shares something they’ve learned or are excited about, engage with them. Ask them about their projects or interests, and see how learning is happening all around them.

7. More Reassurance

Unschooled kids are thriving.
Many go on to college, start businesses, or pursue careers that they’re passionate about. Unschooling doesn’t limit them—it empowers them to explore and shape their futures.
Your support means everything.
Even if this is unfamiliar or different, your love and encouragement can make a world of difference to the unschooling family in your life.

Need more information?

Want the full explanation? (full transcript below)

Today I want to speak to your friends and family. To those who love someone who’s chosen this different path for their children’s education—unschooling. Maybe you’ve heard the term and thought,

"Wait, they’re doing what?"

It’s natural to feel a little concerned. But I want to take a few minutes to clear up some misconceptions and hopefully ease your mind. I know you’re here because you care about the kids in your life, and that’s a beautiful thing.

First off, let me address one of the big misconceptions right away: No, your family member has not joined a cult, and there’s no Kool-Aid involved! I know it can feel like unschooling is so different from the traditional education system that it seems radical. But really, the heart of unschooling is about empowering kids to learn in ways that are natural, engaging, and aligned with how they truly grow. The goal? Thriving kids, involved parents, and a strong family connection. We’re just doing things a little differently—trust me, it’s not as scary as it sounds.

I’m Sue Patterson, and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. I’ve been helping families figure out how to step away from the school approach to learning since we walked away from schools ourselves nearly 30 years ago. I had no intention of homeschooling - I hadn’t even HEARD of unschooling. But school just didn’t fit. I thought it would be a temporary thing, just to give them some time to mature and give us a chance to connect and explore the world together. I just wanted things to slow things down a little bit. But over time, I couldn’t see a reason to send them back. I always told myself,
"I’ll do this until it stops working. I pay taxes, schools have to take them back."

And one of my kids did go to high school for a year and a half, but then, mid-year returned to unschooling. Now, they’re all grown, in their 30s, with homes, families, degrees, and businesses of their own. All the regular things. The doors didn’t close for them because we took an unconventional path. Actually, more opened because they had so many more opportunities to explore and discover interesting things about the world.

Let’s clear up the biggest concerns first…

I know one of the biggest worries from family members—whether you’re a grandparent, an aunt, or a close friend is:
"How will they learn everything they need to know without school or structure like that?"

Most of us grew up going to school, so that’s all we really know.

But it’s not really the only way kids can learn.

You know that saying,

"You learn something new every day."

It’s true, isn’t it? We don’t stop learning just because we leave a classroom. Kids are the same way—unschooling embraces the fact that children are naturally curious and capable of learning from the world around them, in ways that suit their individual interests and pace.

Kids are learning all the time.
They’re just not learning the way you might be used to.

Here’s the thing—kids are learning all the time. They’re not learning the way you might be used to, with textbooks, worksheets, or a set schedule of subjects, but they’re learning in ways that are often more meaningful and long-lasting.

Think of it like this:

Instead of following a one-size-fits-all curriculum, we’re creating an individualized learning experience for each child, based on what excites them. And yes, there’s structure—but it’s flexible and designed around what works for that particular child. It’s not chaotic or aimless - even though it might look that way compared to most of our school experience with learning. But Kids are learning through their daily lives—whether that’s baking and learning fractions in the kitchen, reading a book about dinosaurs because they’re fascinated by them, or visiting a local museum and diving deep into history.

The world is full of opportunities to gain knowledge, and unschooling is about recognizing and embracing that. It’s not just academic, either. Unschooling allows for emotional intelligence, problem-solving skills, and a strong sense of independence to develop naturally.

Sometimes, when you hear 'unschooling,' you might picture children doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with no direction or learning at all. That’s a common misconception, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Unschooling is an intentional, thoughtful approach to learning that honors each child’s interests and natural curiosity.

I have free PDF to help with some of the more common questions - and even myths you may have heard. Also a blogpost (above) that is kind of a bullet list to help you understand more about unschooling. I want to be sure you have whatever you need to get the answers you’re looking for. I’ll put those links in the show notes.

Because, yes, unschooling is legal.

But no, there’s no national or worldwide system set up as a governing body. Different states have different rules when it comes to legal requirements, and I have a variety of resources that your unschooling family member has already tapped into. You can ask them what’s expected where you live. But the best explanation is that each family is kind of their own private school… functioning within the loose framework the state sets, but then has the freedom and flexibility to do what’s best for the kids on an individual basis.

What happens long-term? (this is where most people worry)

Another big question is often about unschooling kids getting into college - can they? And yes, they can and they do! They take the assessment tests - often at the community college level and then takes the courses they need for the degree they’re seeking. Unschoolers go on to univiersities, trade schools, entrepreneurship—you name it. The beauty of unschooling is that it encourages critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving—skills that are incredibly valuable in today’s world. Many colleges now even actively seek out homeschoolers and unschoolers because they’ve developed the ability to take ownership of their education.

And then, as they get older, unschoolers often pursue internships, apprenticeships, or other projects, which give them real-world experience and connections. They’re not only prepared for life after unschooling—they’re often more engaged and ready to contribute to the world because they’ve been given the freedom to figure out what they truly love.

I have several podcasts about how unschoolers are getting into college and I even wrote a book called Homeschooled Teens ... where 75 Young People from 15-39 answered questions about what their lives were like as teenagers taking this unconventional approach. I’ll put the links for these resources to get this at Amazon.

I get it—this way of learning can seem unfamiliar, maybe even risky. But unschooling is an intentional choice by parents who want to help their kids develop into curious, confident, capable adults. And they’re succeeding! We have several decades now of unschooled kids who go on to higher education, start businesses, or dive into careers they love.

So what actually helps?

If you want to support your loved one’s choice, the best thing you can do is stay curious and ask questions with an open heart. Listen to the parents, talk to the kids, and see what excites them about this journey. And trust that the parents are doing what they believe is best for their child. After all, that’s what we all want, right?

At the end of the day, unschooling may not be what you’re used to, but it’s a path that works for so many families. Your support means the world to them, and it can really make a difference in helping them feel confident in their decision. So, keep the conversation going with them. When you talk with the kids, see what excites them and move the conversation in that direction. We all can kind of get into ruts in our conversations with the kids… things like, “how was your school day?” or “what did you learn today?” may not really work. I’m not sure those questions work that well for school kids either - I remember hearing a lot of “I dunno” or “nothing” or just shrugs! So the unschooled kids aren’t that much different! Nobody really wants to be quizzed - they can feel that there’s some performance expectation happening, and most of us shy away from that.

But if you talk with them about their hobbies, or what games they’re playing, or if they’ve watched anything interesting - you might get better answers. Think about a Saturday… what kinds of fun things do you think kids do when the weekend is theirs. That’s what unschooling is kind of like - a life full of Saturdays! It’s exciting really. You’d be surprised what learning weaves into all the different activities kids are engaging in!

And, just in case you’re wondering, this isn’t something families are doing without support. The internet has so many resources now to help parents find interesting ways to dive into topics they don’t know about. I have a website FULL of ideas and a coaching group where parents brainstorm and share resources all the time. Your loved one is not alone in this.

U nschooling is really about building trust between parents and kids. It’s about trusting that children are naturally curious and will seek out learning opportunities when they’re ready. And when we have a lot of trust, we can see what they’re learning. Parents are more like guides and resource finders. The relationships that grow from this approach are incredibly strong. It’s not about opting out of education—it’s about stepping into a more flexible, personalized way of learning.

Thanks for tuning in today, and remember—this journey may be different, but it’s one full of growth, trust, and connection. I am confident that the PDF and blogpost (above) will answer many of the concerns you may have.

So! Until next time, I’m Sue Patterson, enjoy your family and happy unschooling!

If you want to learn more or if you have more questions, I mentioned the free resource I have for you. It’s called ' Understanding Unschooling: A Family Member’s Toolkit. '

If it would help, and you want to talk to someone about it, you can always book a quick 30-minute call with me and we can tackle any additional questions you have.

Unschooling Parent Worry: "What if I fail?"

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 17 Oct 2024 13:49:59 GMT

I did a poll on my free Unschooling Mom2Mom Facebook group asking parents asking a couple of questions.

“What's bothering you the most?
Or even,
"What's making you hesitate about unschooling?”"

Screentime, getting into college, making friends...all of those typical worries PALED to the fear:

“What if I Fail?”

Worrying About Failing Our Kids: It’s Universal, Not Just for Unschoolers

Every parent, at some point, worries about failing their children. It starts when they’re babies, and we’re unsure of what to do. We get advice from family, friends, or other parents, and slowly, we find our footing. We begin to carve out our own path in parenting, sometimes making choices that are different from how we were raised. We begin seeking out a more connected, gentle approach, and over time, we make small changes that reflect how we want to be with our kids.

Then the school years arrive, and we either try to make the traditional system work or come to a crossroads. If we reach that fork in the road and consider something as unconventional as unschooling, the worries tend to intensify.

That fear of “doing it right” grows louder, and it’s easy to understand why.

Stepping into the unknown adds a whole new layer of uncertainty.
It can feel like you’re charting new territory with no clear map.

We have a lack of familiar road signs.

And it makes the fear of "doing it wrong" louder.

We’ve been taught to conform, to follow the system, and to trust that it knows best - or at least better than WE do..
So when we step away from it, it’s no surprise that we get panicky and fear we’re going to fail our kids.

But here’s the good news:

Your worry comes from a place of love. If it didn’t, you’d opt for the free child care and you certainly wouldn’t prioritize the parent-child relationship the way unschoolers do. There’s actually a pretty long list of the difference between a non-caring parent and you. But the fact that you’re concerned shows just how deeply you care about your child’s future. Unschooling or not, no parent has all the answers. And the world is much different from when we were kids.

But by tuning into your child’s needs, staying open to learning together, and trusting yourself to pivot when necessary, you're already doing something powerful: individualizing your child’s education in a way the traditional system often can't.

You’re not alone—it’s a part of the journey for all parents. But remember, stepping outside the norm doesn’t mean stepping away from what’s best for your child. It just means you're finding a new, more personalized path for them and for your family.

Hi There!

If you’re new to the podcast, welcome!

I’m Sue Patterson, your host here at all things Unschooling Mom2Mom My own 3 kids are grown, and I want to share what I’ve learned - what worked and what didn’t. I want to help you create an individualized approach for your kids and your family.

I have all kinds of tools to do this - guides, ebooks, courses, and even a membership where you can access other parents. We do group coaching calls twice a week together.

You have the resources to do this - I’m happy to help you figure this all out.

So, as I was thinking about that oh-so-common worry...

“What if I Fail”

I started jotting down things I’d want to tell you if you sitting here with me.

So pour yourself a cuppa coffee, tea, whatever, and visualize me right there with you. ☕️

Parental Worries

First, I want to tell you that these fears are valid and natural. Parents often feel anxious because unschooling is unfamiliar.. And the responsibility of it all can feel daunting. When I first started, it helped to pick the brains of as many parents as I could find doing this unconventional approach.

We didn’t have as much access to information as you do now, but that can be a double edged sword, right?

TOO much information? And what’s true and what isn’t?

I get it, this can add to the worry too... but it’s part of finding your way and learning how to be a critical thinker YOURSELF. That’s why I always encourage people to tap into their local unschooling community - or online if you can’t find one. Listen to other ways parents approach all of this.

Familiar Doesn't Insure Success

Another thing I want to remind you...that while traditional schooling may feel familiar and structured, it doesn’t necessarily offer reassurance of success. Many kids struggle in a one-size-fits-all system, which often prioritizes standardized testing over individual growth.

Facts vs Fiction

Sometimes our fears have tapped into myths about unschooling. Maybe you worry that " unschooled kids won’t learn enough " or " they won’t be prepared for the real world ."

That’s where you have to start thinking about what’s true and what’s just not. Unschooling isn’t new. My own kids are in their 30s. And I’ve known 100s personally - and thousands are out in the world, in careers and paths that they carved.

Doors didn’t close for them. ��

Because they were prioritizing their interests, they were moving in the direction that fit them. I’ll put links in the show notes for more information about getting into college and grown unschoolers.

You Can ALWAYS Pivot!

Remind yourself that unschooling allows you to easily adjust your approach to fit your child's changing needs, interests, and learning pace. You’re never locked into a rigid system, where you have to get approval and changes roll through SLOWLY. You can pivot as needed.

Sometimes we worry that we’re going to make "mistakes." But these are really "mistakes" in air quotes.

They’re not failures. They’re opportunities to learn and adjust. You have room to grow and evolve.

There’s no rigid syllabus for you to “mess up.” You lean in toward your child and see what the next step needs to be. This is about improving the communication between the two of you. Getting to the heart of what THEY need - finding the resources to help them have a full rich life - that’s where the learning happens.

You're the Resource Finder - Not the All-Knowing Teacher

You don’t have to know everything or be the expert on every subject. You can learn right alongside the kids, using the resources and experts that are readily available online and in the world. You just need to be open to learning together. As an unschooling parent, you’re going to learn how to be more resourceful and how to build your own network of helpful people. You don’t need to stress about finding the right curriculum - you’re looking at it! Your child is your living breathing curriculum. They’ll show you what interests them, what they’re curious about - and that’s the direction you move. And as YOU learn more, you’ll see that subjects DO weave through those interests they’re talking about - as well as the cool things you find to add and make it all a fuller richer life for them.

I have so many resources to help you do all these things and overcome your fears about not being enough. I even have an Unschooling Guide - Am I doing Enough? Maybe that would be helpful.

You're Not Alone!!!

Remember, you don’t have to do this by yourself. You can join us in the membership group where I help parents build their own stronger foundation.

I’m in there, creating new resources all the time to help parents tackle their worries head-on and overcome them!

I can show you have to create a customized plan that will work for YOU and for YOUR kids.

Being part of a supportive community , connecting with others, and accessing all these tools, you’ll find that your path becomes clearer and your fears fade away even fade away even faster.

Think about it - remember that podcast listeners can skip the sign up fee and just jump right in.

Here's your special link in the shownotes (above) Or you can go to this webpage link .

Autumn Unschooling - 6 Tips for Learning!

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 03 Oct 2024 14:36:33 GMT

Updated October 4, 2025

Fall Homeschooling Ideas:

Quick Autumn Activities for Unschooling Families

Make a local fall list: search “fun things to do in October for families in your city.”
Nature → science & art: leaf ID, color change, migration, sky journal.
Kitchen → math: double/halve a soup, convert units, budget a meal.
Holidays → history & culture: Indigenous Peoples’ Day, Diwali, Día de los Muertos.
Community → field trips: orchards, fairs, museum free days, night-sky events.
Gratitude & reflection: simple November rituals and journaling prompts.
Go deeper: watch the video + grab the expanded Autumn Guide .

Embracing the Seasons:
How Autumn Can Enrich Your Unschooling Journey

Podcast Transcript:

Hey everyone, welcome to the podcast! Today, we’re diving into something that may seem simple but is actually a powerful tool for unschooling families: using seasons as a framework for your child’s education. Specifically, right now, we’re talking about autumn—this time of year is bursting with opportunities for learning, and the best part?

You don’t need a classroom or curriculum to make it happen. I want to talk to you about all the learning that happens when you and the kids are out enjoying 6 different - and typical - Autumn activities . I want you to see how unschooling is working - you just have to notice it

If you’re new to the podcast, I’m Sue Patterson, your host, and the human behind all things Unschooling mom2Mom.

My goal is to help you see that you don’t have to have endless power struggles with the kids over schol work.
You don’t have to approach learning in the typical school way at all.

And they WILL learn what they need and you and the kids can actually enjoy the process.
Unschooling can work for your family and I want to explain how.

Now, I know when you’re new to unschooling, it’s easy to feel pressure to duplicate school at home or feel like you need structured lessons. That pressure can come from all sorts of places - and it’s strong. But you can be stronger! Remember, education happens all the time, and seasons like autumn give us a natural rhythm to tap into. Kids are naturally curious, and autumn offers so many ways to follow their interests while learning through life’s daily activities.

Many of you listening are confident about unschooling - you’re here for a little pep-talk, right? Bring it all to the front of your mind, right?

But some of you who love the idea of unschooling, still have little doubts creeping in.
Little worries pop up about subjects or not learning something.
It’s not that unusual - you’ve had YEARS of conditioning that learning has to look a certain way.

And then you start down this unschooling path and that’s all turned upside down.

So what do you DO when you have these fears?

My best advice is to face them head on.

Don’t tell yourself, “Forget that. Good unschoolers don’t worry about that.”

Noo... first of all, what’s a “good” unschooler? A confident one?

Maybe confident ones don’t worry about subjects - but let’s be real.

You’re not confident yet! You don’t have to bluff or pretend you are.

You just need to learn more about how unschooling works, what deschooling is about, and maybe even SHOW yourself how all those familiar subjects are naturally occurring in every day life.

That’s why I created these new Seasonal Unschooling Guides .
In them, I take you subject by subject, using Autumn as the lens.

I’m going to show you how the kids ARE learning what they need. I’ll have a link in the shownotes - but it’s 30 pages of showing you how your Fears can check those familiar subject boxes - simply by participating in Fall activities. There are a few pages of all the Autumn Holidays - and how various subjects weave through those. And then page after page of real life examples where kids learn language arts, math, science, social studies, fine arts - everything you’re worried about. It’s an awesome Guide. I’ve already heard back from parents who are saying how helpful it is - even those saying it’s the best unschooling guide I’ve created yet! I loved making it - I think you’ll love it too!

New & Expanded!

Moving into Winter?

Wrong Hemisphere?

OK...so for today though,

Let’s walk through some examples of how autumn activities—right in your home and community—can lead to rich, meaningful learning.

1. Nature Walks and Science Exploration

One of the first things that comes to mind in autumn is the changing environment around us. Those bright, colorful leaves, cooler air, and even the way animals prepare for winter—it all sparks curiosity! A simple nature walk is one of the best non-school activities you can do.

Think about what happens during a walk with your child: they might start asking questions like,

“Why do leaves change color?”

“Where do the birds go when it gets cold?”

“Why are those geese flying in a V?”

This is a perfect opportunity for learning about biology, weather patterns, migration, or even ecosystems. You don’t need a textbook or to turn it into a big lesson—just explore together, look things up when you get home, and enjoy the process of discovering nature side by side.

Autumn is full of hands-on science lessons, and you didn’t even need to plan for it!

2. Harvest Time and Food-Related Learning

Next, let’s talk about harvest time, which is another amazing aspect of autumn. Depending on where you live, your community might have local farmers’ markets, apple orchards, or pumpkin patches. These places offer fantastic learning opportunities that are completely tied to everyday life.

Take a trip to a local farm, and let your child explore where their food comes from. Ask farmers questions about how crops grow or how they prepare for the winter season. When you get home, cooking together can brings in matn—measuring ingredients, counting apples, or even dividing food portions. Without even realizing it, your child is practicing sorting and sequencing, fractions, multiplication, and problem-solving in a way that makes sense to them.

These activities connect learning to real-world experiences, making education feel less like something that happens in a classroom and more like an ongoing part of life.

3. Celebrating Autumn Traditions and Cultural Learning

Autumn is also packed with traditions and cultural celebrations. the Harvest Moon Festival, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Dia de los Muertos, Diwali—there’s so much history and culture woven into these events. Engaging with these traditions provides a great way to learn about history, geography, social studies, without ever cracking open a textbook.

For instance, if you’re preparing for Thanksgiving, talk about its historical origins—but don’t stop there! Explore how other cultures celebrate harvests, or dive into the history of indigenous people, learn a little about colonization here and around the world.

It’s all about creating an environment where your child can ask questions and engage in meaningful discussions based on the world around them.

4. Art and Creativity from Nature’s Palette

One of my favorite things about autumn is the inspiration it provides for art and creativity. The colors of the season—those rich reds, oranges, and yellows—can spark so much creative energy in children. Without even needing to plan a lesson, your child might want to create leaf rubbings, paint an autumn landscape, or use natural materials like pinecones and acorns to make crafts. I have a Pinterest board full of fun autumn art and craft ideas.

These activities don’t just foster creativity, they also connect children to the natural world and help them express their feelings about the changing season. If they like to draw, encourage them to capture the colors they see outside. Or, if they love building things, collect some fallen branches and create nature-inspired sculptures together. Art in autumn happens naturally—no need for structured projects or rules.

5. Engaging in Community Events and Social Learning

And we can’t forget the social side of learning that autumn brings. Communities host fall festivals, hayrides, pumpkin carving contests, parades. These events are wonderful chances for kids to engage with their community, learn about local traditions, and expand their world a little.

Whether it’s buying tickets for the corn maze or participating in a costume contest, children learn about social interaction, decision-making, and community engagement. These activities aren’t about memorizing facts—they’re about real-world participation and connection. Plus, it’s just fun! And fun is one of the most important aspects of unschooling - learning happening naturally.

6. Building Practical Life Skills

Let’s not forget the practical side of autumn, too. Preparing for the colder months ahead can teach children valuable life skills. Maybe they help rake leaves, stack firewood, or gather garden tools for winter storage. These simple activities teach responsibility and problem-solving, while also connecting them to the rhythms of life and the changing seasons. Do their mittens still fit, how about their coat? Have they grown?

Preparing for colder weather shows children how we live in harmony with nature, and how small tasks around the house or yard are part of that process.

The Magic of Learning Through the Seasons

So, as you can see, autumn offers ao many learning opportunities that are rooted in real life. You don’t need to recreate a classroom or follow a strict curriculum. Instead, you can embrace the season, follow your child’s interests, and allow education to happen naturally through activities in your home and community.

By using autumn as a framework for unschooling, you’re showing your children that learning is everywhere. Whether it’s through nature walks, cooking, creative projects, or community events, the Fall season provides endless possibilities for curiosity, exploration, and growth.

There’s really no need to feel overwhelmed with planning or structuring every moment of your child’s education—autumn provides so many opportunities for learning through life’s natural rhythm.

That said, if you’re looking for a little extra support or want some more specific ideas on how to use the season to its fullest, I’ve created something just for you:

My Seasonal Unschooling Guide: Autumn is packed with over 30 pages of subject-based ideas, creative ways to incorporate autumn holidays into your learning, journaling pages to document your child’s discoveries, and even a fun bucket list to get the whole family excited about the season.

It’s designed to give you inspiration and practical tools, so you can keep that natural, relaxed approach while still feeling like you’ve got plenty of resources at your fingertips. Looking at it may simply pull these ideas to the front of your mind, so when they pop up, you’re ready.

Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been unschooling for a while, this guide is a great way to dive even deeper into all that autumn has to offer.

You can find it linked on my website, and as always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions. I love hearing how these ideas work in your family!

Until next time, enjoy the season, Keep learning through life and Happy Unschooling!

P.S. Did you know that ALL the Unschooling Guides are included in the Creating Confidence Membership??
Learn what else is included here!

Unschooling Billboards and Roadmaps

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sat, 24 Aug 2024 18:52:38 GMT

Is it A Sign?

So you’ve decided to unschool this year. Or maybe you were already unschooling, but THIS year, you’re going to really be intentional.! I think that’s GREAT! And I am here to help you start off on the right foot.

Imagine you’re driving down the road.. maybe a highway because Life is Fast!
And you look up to see billboard that help you figure out what’s next.

That’s what we’re going to do here. I’m going to help you see these billboards where you might need to turn off and spend a little time. Some of you can look at the billboard and think, “Nah, I’m good on that one.” and just speed on by. Others, can see it and think of it as a much needed rest area - whew! Thank heavens that’s coming up next.

Hello! Welcome!

So before we dive in, if you’re new to the podcast, I’m Sue Patterson, your guide here at all things Unschooling Mom2Mom. I have all sorts of resources to help you figure out how to step away from the schoolish approach to home educating your child.

And we all know what “schoolish” rhymes with, right? You can find links for pdfs, podcasts, blogposts, videos right here at the site. I’ve been making resources for the community for decades now.

Every year during this Back-to-School season I create something new.

Last week, we did a free webinar to help everyone get started.

On Monday, I’m doing something really different for me. I’m offering an Unschooling 101 mini-course - a pop-up Facebook group that will only last for 10 days. I’m going to be in there helping you dive deeper on the 10 topics I think you need to get really confident as you start your unschooling journey. The recordings will be available in the shop later, at a little higher price, but for these next 2 weeks, I want to be in there with you - at a great deal! $10 for 10 days!

Don't miss out!

In sticking with my roadmaps and billboards theme here for the podcast, I want to explain a few of the first steps you can take. YOur first steps into unschooling - as if we’re driving down the highway together, turning off at certain exit signs. I’ll go more in depth in Unschooling 101, but this can get you started.

Now you’ll have a map! And a navigator here in the car with you, reading the billboards for you. Instead of searching around the internet, trying to see what’s worth your time and what isn’t. Or maybe what’s first and what can wait - that’s what I’m going to do for you in Unschooling 101. If this is something that will help you, I’ll have the link in the show notes or over at the website. Or you can always email me and ask - I’ll get it over to you!

So, let’s dive into my highway analogy.
Music is playing - how about Pink Floyd’s The Wall, or Alice Cooper’s School’s Out or even Pink’s Let’s Get this Party Started. Maybe something from the movies School of Rock or Accepted...
I’ve started a NotBack to school musical playlist over at YouTube , so if you have some songs you think that would be good to add, let me know! I’ll add them!

Ok, so music is playing and you look up and see the first billboard:

�� Billboard #1: Individualize it ALL!

Individualize the learning for the kids - AND for yourself! You’re going to have to learn and unlearn some things. We may even have some People Pleasing traits that push us toward conforming or not stepping out of line. But if you REALLY want to individualize everything for your kids, you have to take the turn off for truly Individualizing. No lip service, no carefully crafted IEPs - but looking at the child standing in front of you. What are they curious about? What are their interests? Start there.

�� Billboard #2: Overcome the Overwhelm!

When we’re wringing our hands and wishing that the familiar way would just WORK, we can’t move forward. Looking at what specifically is overwhelming you and tackling those issues. They’re going to be different for everyone. But it’s like the boogie man in the closet - it’s really just a scarf on a hanger. Turn the light on and let’s bring down this overwhelming feeling.

�� Billboard #3: Setting up your home

Sometimes we’re distracted by thinking we need a school room. Or we need our house to look like something from a magazine. Truth is, it is going to be messier than usual - because real people live there every single day! This is a next step from the Individualizing turn off, because YOUR home is going to reflect the interests and activities of YOUR kids. Some rooms may be filled with art supplies and flat surfaces to do projects. Others are where science projects can happen without everyone panicking. Set up cozy spots for listening to stories or poetry or PODCASTS. And grab some more pillows for watching cool things together on TV. See what I mean?

Next turnoff on our highway...

�� Billboard #4: What’s Your Why?

Don’t rush past this one. Think about all the reasons you are making this choice to do something so unconventional. Because I’ll be honest with you. Some days aren’t going to go well. Some days the critics might get to you. Or the kids won’t cooperate. Or you’ll just be running out of gas. You’ll need to be able to refer to your WHYs - so make a list! And keep it handy for those days.

Which reminds me of our next exit ...

�� Billboard #5: Conquering Critics

Maybe they’re friends or family. Maybe they’re spouses. Maybe your whole community is going in the other direction. Especially for those of you who were homeschooling last year (or longer) and it’s just not working like they said it would. You need more information about unschooling and how that can work. The more information you gather, the better equipped you’ll be for handling all these different critics. Do you have to argue with everyone or tell them you’re shifting gears? Absolutely not. You grow your own confidence first.

Sometimes you need to add ANOTHER community into your life, parents who are also doing this unschooling thing. Parents you can bounce ideas off, share what’s working and what isn’t, celebrate little wins together. Parents who aren’t going to tell you that this is all YOUR fault or your kids need more discipline, or you should put them back in school. That school-at-home approach is familiar, but a LOT of parents are discovering it’s not even the best way for kids to learn. You need more parents like this in your life. You need better information and support. And this is the only way to conquer that critic in your own head - that’s sometimes that’s the worst one of all, right?

The next few billboards are all about dismantling those schoolish thoughts, finding the learning in every day life, tapping into the seasons and strewing, creating our own “Unschooling Curriculum” that doesn’t look anything like school.

Unschooling 101

Let's grow your confidence with a practical strategy to start unschooling NOW. No fluff, just explanations, answers to the most common questions and real life ideas that will make unschooling work at your house!

Thanks for listening.

Otherwise, enjoy the kids, and I’ll be back again soon!

Billboards on the Unschooling 101 Course!

Navigating Questions

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 15 Aug 2024 15:26:05 GMT

It’s hard enough for us, the adults, when someone asks a question about this educational path we’ve chosen.
Especially if there’s the slightest hint of judgement, or if we’re having a moment where we don’t feel that confident.

We can do a whole ‘nuther podcast on why we care so much about other people’s approval - even people we barely know.

Or even people who don’t parent like we do or make ANY choices that we value.

We just don’t want to be judged. We really DO want everyone’s approval - then we’ll decide who we pay attention to, right? Yeah.. I have a LOT of ideas about all that. So when I get THAT podcast done, I’ll add it in the description or show notes.

But today, the topic keeps coming up about the kids and how we can help them navigate this time of year too.
We spent a section of our planning meeting last Monday in my membership group talking about this very thing.

It comes up often, actually. Our kids are out there rubbing elbows and crossing paths with people all the time.
And whether they’re really just curious or they’re trying to satisfy their own defensiveness, we can help our kids know how to navigate this.

Questions like...

“What grade are you in?”

“What’s your favorite subject?”

or even,

“Don’t you miss all the cool things we get to do in school?”

I want to give you some ideas - even some “scripts” to use (or individualize as you see fit), and some overall thoughts on this that I think are really important.

But if you’re new to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast, Welcome!

I’m Sue Patterson, the creator and your Guide here and at all things Unschooling Mom2Mom.

I’ve been making resources and helping families since the 90s when we walked away from the school system!

My kids are all in their 30s now, so I have a lot to share with you - what works and what doesn’t!

And, because parents all learn differently too, I have a variety of free and paid ways to help you.
Guides, PDFs, blogposts here at the UnschoolingMom2Mom.com website, as well as 4 seasons of this podcast and nearly a decade of videos on the YouTube channel.

I have courses about Jumping into unschooling and Learning Math without a curriculum .

And, my favorite, the Creating Confidence Membership group . I love helping parents figure out how to tackle the specific problem they’re facing...and that’s what we do in there. And, I love collecting other unschooling parents who are willing to help brainstorm with you, share successes, commiserate when things aren’t working and help you figure out what the next steps could be.

This is a good month to join us, because I have slashed the price for a year of support.

Paying monthly is always an option - and podcast listeners get to skip the sign up fee, paying only the $49/month.

But the August special - allows you to pay way less - and then you don’t have to worry about it for the whole year. You’ll have a coach and a community on standby! I’ll link to this too.

OK, back to helping the kids this week.

Let’s tackle the easy questions first...

What Grade are You In?

I know, unschoolers don’t divide up life into grades. And sure, if you wanted, you could explain why this is, what’s your motivation, how learning really works.

But from your kids’ perspective - not only do they not know all of that, but they probably don’t care. They may not even realize that this could be the most asked question of their entire childhood! But you know this. And if you didn’t, you do now.

People ask this for a few different reasons.
Other kids are gathering data about your kid - and if they go to school, their whole world is set up based upon this question, “What grade are you in?”
Store check-out clerks, think it’s an easy question to fill the airspace - like asking about the weather or the local sports team. So, if our kids stand there like deer in headlights, that easy question didn’t go how they thought it would go. And it adds to the data of - "what’s wrong with this kid? That shouldn’t have been a loaded question."

They just don’t know - neither the asker or the askee really.

So figure it out for your kids:
Most kids start Kindergarten at 5 and then turn 6 that year.

So count up from there...

1st grade - 6-7 years old

2nd - 7-8 years old

And so on...

Use this table, if you're unsure.

Sometimes they just need a quick answer, and this is an easy fix.

What's Your Favorite Subject?

Some kids may respond with, “ We don’t do subjects.”

Others may just shrug and say “I don’t know.”

First, remember that’s the response of most school kids - IDK. So yours is no different there.
It’s just that when you’re an “outlier” as we are...then suddenly everyone spins around and says,

“Oh! There’s another reason they’re screwing up their kids. They can’t even answer simple questions like grade levels or subjects.”

Sure, school kids are categorized and grouped by grade level for everything - so of course they remember what grade they’re in. But it’s not really an indication of anything else.

So for that Subjects question, help them out ahead of time.

What are their hobbies? What topics interest them?
Let them know that the typical school subjects are.

Language Arts
Math
Science
Social Studies
Technology
Fine Arts
PE

Which of these subjects would their hobby fall into?

��️ They love Minecraft - they’re into Technology mainly.

�� Enjoying the new puppy? “We’re really into Animal Science lately.”

�� Playing matching games on the phone or apps like Sudoku - “ Math puzzles are my favorite these days.”

�� Watching historical documentaries or even blockbuster movies about different time periods? You can say “History.”

See what I mean?

It’s rare that someone would take it any farther than that. So you might need to help them with,

“I’ve been learning a lot about the Civil War” if you’ve been watching movies about that time period.
Or “I’m learning a lot about Government lately” as the conversations turn toward politics and the elections.

It’s ok to say “Art is my favorite” and then remind them how they like to draw or paint or paper mache or tye die - these would be additional things to add if someone continued to ask. But usually, just the subject title is all that needs to be said.

Remind your kids that quick answers like this will help them feel good to have an answer and can get out of the hotseat quickly. Plus, it might help THEM dismiss some lingering concerns that they’re not really learning anything.
They are! They’re just learning it in a different way.

“Don’t you miss seeing friends every day or doing all the fun stuff we get to do at school?”

Sometimes the kids are hanging with other kids and the questions get harder.

Who is asking as well as your own kids’ personalities, will dictate how they respond.

But some answers I’ve heard that work - and that you can share with your own kids so they can borrow these for themselves. They can say things like:

“What are you talking about? I see kids all the time at — the park, my co-op, dance classes…” , wherever they see other kids.

They could even add “We even get to have sleepovers in the middle of the week, while ya’ll are focusing on school.”

Or, “We went to Disneyland last week, while you were in school, or we hang out with friends at the park every week or we went to [some other cool place your kids have been recently]”

Then they can say, “Don’t worry about me. We do a LOT of fun stuff.”
Then help them think of the fun things they do get to do - while the other kids are trudging off to school and sitting in a classroom.

Or they could simply say,

“Why do we always have to talk about school? What kinds of fun do you do in your Real Life?”

It’s perfectly ok to share what you like about the choice your family has made.

And it’s good data for you, to see how your kids respond. That will tell you what kind of information they’re needing.

And if you need more support with this, we have TWO group coaching calls every week in the membership group , plus a variety of ways to connect within our community. It might be a good idea to get support for YOURSELF as we move into the next school year.

Get me into that Membership Group!!

Reach out if you need more information, I’m here!
And I’ll be back again next week.

A Decade of Unschooling Support

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 08 Aug 2024 20:01:03 GMT

A Decade of Unschooling Support: Celebrations and Next Steps

Time keeps flying by, right?

In case you’re on the fence about unschooling, or you’re just not making time to learn more about how to REALLY do unschooling over there at your house, I want to give you a gentle reminder. Time is ticking along. And it’s not going to slow down for you to get your ducks all in a row.

These kids...you keep feedin’ them, and they keep growing. ��

They need you to make a decision, if you haven’t already. And they need you to get confident in that decision.

I have all sorts of tools, paid and free - like this podcast to help you figure out your next steps.
But I you have to push past the inertia and take action.

I get it. It’s hard. But it’s worth it!

Today I want to share a few celebrations we’re having here as well as let you know about some cool things happening this month. So stay with me!

I’m really sooo glad we’ve connected here on the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

I love that we can talk weekly - or almost weekly.

If you’re new to the podcast, welcome! Let me know in the comments where you are on this journey - just starting out and feeling a little overwhelmed, or maybe you’ve been at this for a while and just pop the podcast into your ears for a little reassurance. I’m happy to be here - no matter where you are on this path!

And if you would be so kind as to leave a review or a few stars - that would be so great!
It will help others looking for alternatives to the educational choices they’ve been using - it will help us all find each other.

Because that’s my main goal:

I want parents like you to know that you DO have options.

You don’t have to duplicate the school approach. And you won’t ruin your kids’ chances for success.

They’ll get into college if they need it or want it. They’ll find the career that fits them.
They’ll figure out what they need BECAUSE you will have given them the tools they really need to know who they are.

You will have helped them identify their strengths and now how to manage their weaknesses - how to live comfortably in their own skin. Because THAT is what you’ll have time to do instead of memorizing times tables, state capitals, or the Periodic Table. When you unschool, the things that matter can shift to fit the people involved. If you have a budding engineer and they’re building ramps or structures (online or in the living room), you can get supplies for that. If your kids are immersed in pretend play - you have NO idea where that might lead. But I promise you their brains are working on something! Interpersonal skills, scripts, vocabulary, fashion, design, story and character development - or maybe a little of all of that.

The brain is really incredible. It seeks out what it needs. Its just up to you to give them space and tools to explore with. Even if you can’t see the exploration. The more you learn about unschooling, they more you’ll know that it’s happening with or without you. Better, if you’re tuned in and offering a scaffolding of some sort. But the learner really runs the show, and does it well, if you’ll trust them.

While the kids may be happily puttering around with their interests, it’s not unusual for the parents to feel a little uneasy. After all, this isn’t how most of us were raised, right? To let the direction emerge from the learner instead of being top-down teacher-driven, that’s quite a shift. And that’s why I have so many ways for you to get more information and support.

Celebration Time!

Did you know that the Unschooling Mom2Mom Facebook group just had it’s 10 year anniversary? I should have planned a party! We’re less than a thousand away from hitting the 50K members mark - so if you’re not in there, you should join us. I don’t run it in the typical Facebook way. The group itself has morphed several times and I had to get us away from the free-for-all it had become.

But 10 years ago, I knew we needed a place parents could get solid unschooling information without scaring them away from the idea! Regular people, tired of the school approach were often completely unaware that they had options.

My personal goal was to help create a place where suburban moms like me could ask questions and gain confidence. Unschooling had worked for my family and I knew it could work for others too.

Back then though, parents were often confronted harshly online, when they had questions or hesitations about unschooling. The information was available, but it wasn't that easy to dip your toes into these waters. Several unschooling moms like me decided to create a kinder gentler way to help parents - and here I am, still doing that. Every time I thought about walking away from it - like most of those who began it with me did - someone would mention how grateful they were to have had the help. To have had my voice in their ears - or my words on their screen - reminding them that unschooling works and that they CAN do it.

Then as time marched on - I guess that really is the theme of this podcast - we added the youtube channel and this podcast - plus courses and guides and ebooks and the membership - everything that you might need to be successful. Parents all learn differently too - so each year, I’d add something new to help in another way. Ten years… wow.

Another milestone happened too...

The Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast has crossed the 300K download mark - so that’s pretty awesome to know that so many people are interested in this unconventional approach to learning! I remember when I first started the Unschooling Mom2Mom facebook page - that was even a few years before the group - one of the taglines was Changing the World, one family at a time.
I still feel that way.

So What’s Ahead?

This month, I’m going to do another webinar: my annual NOT Back to School Party for you all!
It’s going to be August 22nd at 2 pm Central.
Get on my email list so you’ll be sure to get notifications about it!
I may do it as a Live YouTube Video - but I’m not sure if I can pull that off.
The email list is the best way for us to connect.

AND... I have so much news for you in this episode!

Unschooling 101

I’m going to host something I’ve never done before.

A 10-Day, Pop-Up group on Facebook the week after the webinar - Unschooling 101.
Things like setting up your home for all this, getting an Unschooling Parent Supply list, Dismantling your own thoughts about school - 10 days of everything you need to get started unschooling. And! We’ll do it together.
The Pop-Up Facebook group will allow you to connect with other new unschoolers and ask question - I’ll be in there with you!

(This happened in late August/early September and is now available for anyone to buy as a mini-course here:

I’ll have m ore info on the email list - sign up - its Free! And I often have special deals for subscribers.

Thanks for being here and celebrating all these things with me!
Share it with someone else who might need a little more unschooling support. And hopefully I’ll actually see you at the Not Back to School Party this month!
Happy Unschooling - have fun with the kids - and I’ll be back again next week.

Unschooling Summer School

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 16:44:37 GMT

Summer is Your Unschooling Playground!

Summer School for unschoolers?

Shocking that I’d say that, right? But I don’t mean the kids - I mean you!

Maybe it’s time for YOU to take a little Unschooling 101 this summer?

If you finished last year feeling defeated, worn out, and wishing it had all gone differently…

If you worried that you didn’t do enough or create enough opportunities for the kids..

If you spent WAY too much money on curriculum that either everyone said you needed or that you THOUGHT would work…

Or maybe you’re noticing that the kids are not enjoying learning and everything seems like a power struggle…

Then stop what you’ve been doing and learn a new approach.

It maybe be that you THOUGHT you understood unschooling but you’re actually missing a few key components.

Or you’ve kind of liked the idea of unschooling, but it’s so frowned upon in your area, you don’t see how you could do it.

Or maybe you even have some wrong information floating around about it.

I want to tell you how to get started with Unschooling. And I have a special deal for you, that I’ll tell you in a minute.

But if you’re new to the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast - hello! Welcome! I’m Sue Patterson, the human behind all this. I help parents like you - all at various points on this path. Some just starting out, some who’ve been at it for a while but know they need a little more encouragement. Parenting is like that,right? We’re doing great - until we’re not. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to there, reminding you to continue to be the parent you want to be, brainstorming with you, offering solutions. I have created a lot of ways to do this - all over at the Unschooling Mom2Mom.com website.

Unschooling Summer School Course - right here!

And today, I want to give you some ideas for your own Unschooling 101 Summer School Course!

I do HAVE a course - 2 actually - that are on sale for the rest of July - half off. I’ll put the link in the notes -but be sure to use the discount code: summer24 to get the sale price.

But here’s what I want you to do today!

Step 1 - Plan for 1 Week

At the start of the week, Sunday or Monday, look at the week ahead. Only 1 week. Don’t get caught up in planning it out for weeks on end. Sometimes we do that as a way to procrastinate from living in the moment. And that’s where unschooling is happening - in the here and now. Plus, staying in the present allows you to see what changes need to happen - all based on that child right there in front of you. They really are your best resource for creating your own plan.

So you’re going to look at this week - what’s the weather going to be? Anything unique about this week? Anything already on the schedule? Plug all those things in first. Maybe even brainstorm with the kids - what would they like the week to look like?

If you’re looking for some ideas for brainstorming - I have an awesome Unschooling Guide called Brainstorm time. This is really helpful at pulling things to the front of your mind!

Step 2 - Learn more about Unschooling & Deschooling

What are you going to do to learn more about Unschooling and Deschooling?

Put yourself on a daily Workout plan. Maybe just 15 minutes - or a half hour.
A little everyday. Pair it with something you already do, so it’s easier to remember.
Like: If you listen to podcasts while you drink your coffee every morning. Or mid-afternoon when the kids are immersed in something else. Whether it’s podcasts or videos, reading blogposts or Unshcooling Guides on particular topics. A little bit of focus and self-discipline can help you move toward feeling more confident, less second-guessing. Especially if you’re facing a neighborhood full of people excited about the back to school season.

Step 3 - Connect with the Kids

Maybe the most important of all. Connecting with your kids.

Life can get busy and we may need to think ahead of time about touching base periodically. Do you have a movie night all set up? Maybe you’re watching the olympics together?

Think of it as points of connection throughout the day.

Even little things like, filling their water bottle and bringing it to them while they’re playing their game. A quick little shoulder rub and a smile.

Or a mid-afternoon dice game, if they like something quick. Think of various points of connection throughout the day.

One of the suggestions that came up in my membership group was “Special Time.”
How this works is that for 10-20 minutes, the child gets to completely choose the activity to do with you. Uninterrupted. Not-directed by you at all. Up to them. And you’re 100% focused on it with them. They don’t usually want more than that, but it’s more likely they’ll jump at a daily Special Time moments - when they’re the one in charge.

Step 4 - Get Support from Unschooling Community

Make sure you have people in your life who support you on this unconventional path. Maybe it’s me, here on this podcast! I have a lot of them for you to binge on. Podcasts have a way of connecting us and helping you avoid feeling isolated - especially if you’re the only unschooler or almost-unschooler in your community. It’s really easy to fall back to the familiar schoolish ways, when you’re surrounded by more traditional homeschoolers or people who send their kids to school. You need a support system of some kind. I have a membership group that does that for each other - all sorts of ways to connect with other unschoolers. I’ll leave a link in the shownotes for you to tap into that. Maybe you just need to do it for a few months as you get past this Back-to-School season. Or maybe you’ll love it and stick around - it really helps to know you’re not alone!

Step 5 - Self Care

Self-care. I know that’s a little buzzword-y.

But what fills YOUR cup?

This is what’s going to help you be the parent you want to be. I hate to break it to you - and it’s not like you don’t already know this - but you’re not going to get a lot of appreciation from other people in your life. You’re going to have to do that for yourself. And it’s SOO much better when you do! Think of little things you can do that recharge your battery. Might not even be unschooling related at all. Maybe it’s gardening, or reading something you choose - not just what your newsfeed chooses to send you. Maybe it’s art, or cooking, or painting your toe nails. What’s a little something you could put on the schedule for THIS WEEK - for you?

OK... I have to hop off because we have our Monday Morning Coaching call in my membership group in a few minutes.
We plan our week together - looking at what happened last week, what’s on the agenda for this week, how can we be intentional. It’s nice to kick off the week with friends - maybe even have some accountability partners.

Reach out if that seems good to you - remember that podcast listeners can avoid the $99 sign up fee and just hop in monthly. Only about $10/week. Less if you sign up for the year. I want to give you more support - so I’ll leave a link below.

So there’s Your Unschooling Summer School mini-course!

You have a plan for the week!

Happy Unschooling and we’ll talk again next week!

Unschooling, Teaching and Learning

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 02:31:00 GMT

Have you heard this? Is it one of those statements that makes you think:

"Ahhh... that’s why we don’t do unschooling! Too fringe, too kooky, and not going to help the kids at all in the long run."

Or maybe you are already unschooling and you’re thinking,

“Don’t say that - that’s what the big battlecry against unschooling is.”
Or one of them.

What made me start down this path for you here on the podcast was that Rolling stones article singling out the unschooling mom on TikTok who said, “We don’t Teach."

And that was the “hook” they started their article with.
Even within my own unschooling community, people have said,
“I just wish she hadn’t said that. It’s such lightening rod kind of thing.”

It IS what the general public as well as the traditional homeschooling community often uses to dismiss unschooling. Comments like...

“Those unschooling families don’t do anything."
"They’re not teaching their kids anything."
"Unschoolers are being neglectful."
"Those kids are going to have horrible futures.”

Lots of scary thoughts all wrapped up in

“We don’t teach.”

But that’s not really the truth of it.

You have to back up a little bit more to see the bigger picture. There are a few factors at play here.
I don’t think you’re getting the whole story. Stay with me - that’s what we’re going to talk about.

When you understand it, you’ll be able to toss away ... at least one of your worries about unschooling.

But first...

Hi there!

If you’re new here, Hi! I’m Sue Patterson.

Welcome to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast.

I’m a Mom to 3 grown unschoolers all in their 30s now with degrees, certifications, businesses, homes, families... all the things. I’m the human behind all things Unschooling Mom2Mom with a big website full of free and paid unschooling resources just waiting for you over there [here!]- so tap into it all.

Each month, I do some kind of special - this month my courses are half off - so that’s a pretty great deal.

And I have some really exciting things coming! All of this is because you, as the parent - just like your kids - have different learning styles and preferences.

And whether you like learning from a PDF, a course, a 1:1 Coaching call with me or with a community of other unschooling parents - you have options available that will work! You really CAN get your questions asked and answered, feel supported, and basically strengthen your confidence in unschooling.

If you’re not new, welcome back! Thanks for listening! Please leave comments about what you think, like, subscribe, you know... everything that tells the powers that be to share the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast (or video if you’re listening or watching on YouTube) I would really appreciate that!

On to that scary and really confusing idea about Not Teaching.

And why any sane person would say that’s a good idea.

The TikTok Unschooling Mom who said “We don’t teach our kids,” isn’t the first. She’s actually kind of young, so I’m doubting she was involved in the conversations of the 90s or early 2000s. But it was very commonplace to want people to stop using the word, “teaching” in order to get everyone to focus on the importance of LEARNING.

As it turns out, teaching and learning are not as synonymous as we’ve been conditioned to believe.

As a society, we have conflated these two terms or ideas: “Teaching” and “Learning.”
We tend to think, teaching causes learning and so learning would have to require a teacher.

We all know situations where the teacher brought information and the student was distracted or not interested. No learning happened. Think of looking at the window while the teacher goes on and on. Or of kids thinking about leveling up in their video game instead of the topic the teacher wants to discuss. There’s a reason that Charlie Brown depiction of the Teacher voice going “Wah-Wah-Wah” resonates with everyone - it’s often mind-numbing get-it-over-with way kids view their classroom experiences.

And we’ve all had the experience of our kid coming up to us, telling us some random piece of information and we’re like, “How do you know that???” And they saw it online, or talked to a friend, or don’t even remember. But they LEARNED. Without a teacher and without a lesson plan. Those things were more like School System trappings that had more to do with that system, and not much to do with the students.

Think of all the things you’ve learned after you graduated from school. You wanted to know something or do something and you needed to learn something to achieve your goal. So you googled it, or found a YouTube video, or talked to that friend of your uncle’s. Or some other path that got you what you needed.

You didn’t say,

"I must find a teacher. I must find a class. I must learn a bunch of information that isn’t really pertinent to what I need, so I can get that one nugget of information I’m missing."

So when people say that unschooling kids don’t learn

nothing could be further from the truth.

They learn in all kinds of ways.
Compiling little bits of information that are relevant to their goals and help them achieve them.

And that IS how unschooling works. Unschooling parents help their kids learn how to find the resources they need. They’re a tour guide, a researcher, a resource finder, a cheerleader - almost a project manager. Each child identifying their own Project, so to speak.

Learning is something that’s internal. Teaching is more an external force being placed on the other person. Sometimes they’re in agreement with what’s being taught - and sometimes not.

So that’s why we say Learning is all up to the Learner.

They’re the GateKeeper so to speak.

So, the tiktoker is right in a sense. “Not teaching” or focusing on the teaching over the learning is a part of how unschooling really DOES work. When we set up a teaching plan, we’re trying to get our kids to learn what all the other kids their age are learning, regardless of their interest or curiosity. Those things have to take a back seat, because the TEacher’s Plan is what matters most. We hear that in the voices of traditional homeschoolers when they express concern that they haven’t made it through the curriculum yet or on the schedule they planned. This tug to prioritize the curriculum over what’s happening with the learner - that’s the problem.

Some of the questions I’ve heard when I talk about this are...

“Ok, but they’ll need The Basics so they CAN do all that exploring on their own.”

That may even be an entire podcast of it’s own - there’s a lot wrapped up in that!

If they truly need something, they’ll get it.
They’re not exploring “on their own.” Unschooling parents are there, answering questions, finding opportunities that fit their situation and allow the kids to learn and grow. They’re a family unit - not something that ends when the bell rings at 3:00.
And what ARE The Basics ? We’ve all been pummeled by those words. Reading, Writing, Arithmetic?
All of those are to either be able to gain information or convey that we know something or figure something out. But don’t those who don’t enjoy reading still learn from videos and conversations? Don’t we carry calculators with us everywhere with our phones? Do we really write a lot these days? All of us? I think sometimes if we get more details about our concerns, and let go of our position a little so we can maybe hear alternatives, we can get a more realistic idea of what’s really needed.

Another Question:

“I think some things HAVE to be Taught. They’re not just absorbed organically.”

I don’t disagree with that. But the learner has to want it. And if they’re somehow, even kindly, coerced to think it’s in their best interests, that’s not really the same as wanting it themselves. That might give you SOME results you want...but I’m not sure all the Teaching Effort is going to pay off in what the Learner actually retains. ��‍♀️

Anyone with more information can be a teacher of some sort though.

I teach my kid how to ride a bike or how to tie their shoe or how to use the measuring cups to make brownies, or a variety of different things.

But just like potty training - you can work and work and work on it.

But until they’re ready, they’re not learning it.

Same principle applies to all of this:

If the learner wants it, they’ll keep it.

If they don’t, it won’t stick - No learning is really going to take place.

I can check the box, so to speak, for having “taught” it (air quotes) But if the goal was to have learning happen, that’s all up to the learner, right? That’s where we can apply that phrase, “in one ear and out the other.” We did that ourselves as kids - because the focus was on the system (whatever system you’re in - school or traditional homeschooling curriculum) - but it’s about APPLYING THE SYSTEM to the kid instead of helping them learn.

And that’s the style most familiar to everyone. So it’s not easy to shake that.

I have another podcast, #7 Teaching, Learning, and Partnering with our kids.
That would be a good one to follow up on after this...

[I've put it below].

I did make a workbook to help you dive a little deeper - I help you walk through all of this to see things from the Learner’s perspective instead of just bulldozing in because you’re the Teacher or the Adult-in-Charge. A lot of these podcasts have workbooks that go with them - over in my Creating Confidence Membership group. We talk about these kinds of things within the membership community too - so that may be something you should tap into.

One little sidenote:

Change doesn’t happen overnight.

And you can make little changes, without a complete 180.

These concepts weren’t that easy for me to embrace when my kids were growing up.

So if you’re still a little skeptical - you’re not alone.

What helped me was seeing examples of these teaching learning concepts looking differently from how I experienced it as a kid. Talking with others who are working on this and aren’t trying to shove a bunch of curriculum down their kids’ throats... that probably helped me the most.

So reach out if you have questions. Enjoy the kids.

And know that

Unschooling really DOES work.

See you next week.

Brainstorming with the Kids!

If you're wanting to reframe how you look at learning, it's helpful to look at everything ALREADY available to you and the kids.

What's happening in your world?
What's available at home? What's out in the community?
What interests them - even just a little?

This Guide is really a workbook for you to do WITH the kids. Since you're not plugging them into curriculum, what's out there?

They don't have to be wildly fascinated with every option - but help them see that a full rich life IS available to them!

If you click the link, you'll see a little more about this Guide.

I think it's my favorite one!

“Ok, what kinds of things are we supposed to be doing?

“What if they never stop playing ____?”

Well, your lives are not going to look like school. It might look more like a Saturday or a Summer Vacation that never ended. The kids aren’t going to reach over for a textbook after a certain appropriate number of weeks of decompression. That was never the point of deschooling.

Life doesn’t really divide itself up into neat and tidy subjects.
That only happens in schools - and your kids don’t go there anymore.

So instead of focusing on doing math, reading, history, spelling, etc., unschoolers focus on interests.
And that’s how their days fill up.

If fear still has a hold of you and you’re still knee-deep in your own deschooling, you can look at their activities and make mental notes of the subjects that weave throughout their activities. It’s usually not limited to one, like in a classroom.

But it’s more like multiple subjects weaving together, sometimes heavier in one than in another - like thread in a tapestry!

Surround Yourself with Unschooling Support!

Whether you learn best from reading, watching videos, or connecting with other like-minded parents, you'll get the support you need from DAY ONE in this Unschooling Membership Group.

It's so great to have a supportive community available to you at any moment (we have a private Facebook group and WhatsApp channel) as well as the Live Zoom Calls with Sue every week. You'll be able to see the transformation you're looking for - WITHOUT the two-steps forward, three-steps back pattern!

You Don't Have to Do This ALONE!

AND! I have so many PDFs and Unschooling Resources to walk you through these hurdles!
When you join the Membership Group, be sure to ask me where the Teaching/Learning Reframing Tool is - it will give you more specifics on what to do! And, my favorite Brainstorming Guide is INCLUDED in the Membership!

Loop Scheduling and Unschooling?

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 15:28:36 GMT

Podcast/Video Transcript

Have you heard about Loop Scheduling? It's something I think many of us have done instinctively - but it’s a thing. It’s not like Block Scheduling... where you think Mondays you do certain things, Tuesdays other, and then different or repeating patterns through the week. Sometimes block scheduling is what you think when you do college classes or maybe you even did them in high school.

The pitfall of Block scheduling, is that if you miss a day and you’re on a weekly Block schedule, you have to wait a week for it to roll back around again. That can be a really big gap.

But Loop scheduling handles that - and is especially good if you have a chaotic life! It allows for so much more flexibility.

Someone asked if Unschoolers use Loop Schedules and I don’t see why not! It just depends on what you’re putting in the Loop, whose interests or activity choices they are.

People always think that unschooling is a Free for All, but it doesn’t have to be.

Flexible? Yes! Absolute chaos - no.

Welcome!

I'm Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast. If you’re new here - welcome!

Be sure to subscribe to the channel or the podcast platform you’re using so you can be notified when I do another little Unschooilng Peptalk for you! Usually about 10 minutes - because I know you’re busy.
And I try to get in here once a week!

My own three kids were unschooled - all in their 30s now - and I’m circling back to help families see that Unschooling Really DOES work!

And no, you don’t have to be some extremist. We weren’t.
School just didn’t work for us.

I share what I’ve learned over nearly 30 years in the community - what seems to work and what doesn’t. If you want more from me, join me in my Membership group where we talk twice a week on a group coaching call and have an ongoing WhatSApp channel for help in between the calls. Plus a fabulous community of unschooling parents.

Oh! And if you’d like to talk with me privately, I have $50 coaching calls for the rest of June - be sure to grab those if that’s more your speed.

Ok... on to Loop Scheduling and how that can work for unschooling parents.

So let’s talk about how Loop schedules can work and how you could use them if you’re having a hard time remembering everything.

With Loop scheduling, you make your list of what needs to be done.
Maybe you’ll use it for household tasks, or meals, or personal care.
Then you simply work your way down your list. If you miss a day, no worries, you just pick up where you left off. Then LOOP back up again - hence the name.

Loops for Art

Your kids may like to create Loop schedules of their own - maybe it has to do with exploring certain topics like.. art. They could make a list of all the different media they want to experiment with, then work their way through the list and loop back again.

Maybe it’s

charcoal drawing,
pastels,
textile art of some kind,
painting,
coloring with pencils or markers.

Then they loop back to the beginning of their list.

This gives them some organization to their own ideas and helps them not forget what they were considering.
Remind them that their Loop schedule can be modified at any time.
Something can simply “rotate off the list” and they can pop something else in.

Loops for Excercise

Maybe it’s more like varying exercise activities.
Instead of setting them up by day, you make your list and work your way through it.

Hiking,
swimming,
tennis,
neighborhood walking,
Dance Party

- then repeat.

This could be activities you and the kids decide you want to be sure to “get around to” or maybe it’s just for you yourself.

Through the Unschooling Lens

So let’s look at all of this again from an unschooling perspective.

Loop scheduling works if you’re trying to remember to get to everything on your list. A list that YOU’VE created. That doesn’t mean you can’t look at these lists I’ve made or someone else has created and NOT duplicate them. It just means that you CHOOSE to use these other lists because they make sense for you and the kids - not because someone said, "This is what Good Unschoolers Do." Or Good Parents. Or organized people. Or whatever.
No more broad sweeping generalizations - we’re individualizing around here!

If you find some particular aspect of the loop that you love, but you feel like you have to move to the next thing and keep doing the others until it rolls back again - that’s more like a school system.
You want to be able to pull it out of the loop and do it at the regularity or frequency that fits.

If Zumba classes are on Monday Wednesday and Friday- loop scheduling won’t work for that.
If you decide evening walks after dinner are really great, then that probably won’t fit on a Loop schedule either and can just be penciled into your weekly calendar on it’s own. You can do it - it just doesn’t need to be in your Loop Schedule.

So what else COULD work for a Loop Schedule?

We hear homeschooling families talk about loop scheduling as they’re trying to “cover” all the subjects.and all the individual topics within the subjects. If you’re a traditional homeschooler, Loop scheduling may work better for you than the Block Scheduling that’s more familiar.

But as Unschoolers, we aren’t trying to check those boxes and cover those subjects each week.
We are approaching all of it from the Learner’s perspective.

The system - whether it’s the School, the curriculum, or even the Loop schedule you’ve created, they can interfere with the self-directed process of the Learner. While it might seem good to rotate everything through, that may only be good as an introduction to the variety of topics in whatever category you’re organizing.

Once the kids want more of a certain thing, don’t tell them,

“No, we have to keep with the system we’ve all created!"

That’s prioritizing the System over the Learner - and as Unschoolers, we are moving away from that.

Same goes with keeping something in the Loop Schedule

Meals and Chores on a Loop

Where I really think Loop Schedules can work in Unschooling Families are when you’re tackling

Meal Menus or Household Chores.

Creating a rotation removes the extra time devoted to trying to remember what’s next or what needs to be done. A lot of us have Decision Fatigue because we haven’t planned some things out - things that don’t require flexibility or could be just mindlessly checking the box and moving on to the next when you have time.

Like:
1. Dusting, 2. Vacuuming, 3. Laundry, 4. Bathrooms, 5. Kitchen clean-up.

I did this when my kids were growing up - not really aware it was a Loop Schedule - but it was.
1. Pasta, 2. Tacos, 3. Stir-fry, 4. Casserole, 5. Grilling 6. Pizza

Then if we ate out, we’d just pick up where we left off.
I’d always know what needed to be on the grocery list and what was going to happen - no decision fatigue about food.

Personal Growth for Unschooling Parents

Another way Loop Schedules might be useful for Unschooling Parents is to use it for Personal Growth.
You can list out what you’ll do to keep learning more about Unschooling and Deschooling.
Just like the kids though, you may discover that you have a preference. Maybe you start with

Podcast
Video
Blogpost
Section of a course youve bought
Then loop back again.

But if you discover that you keep zoning out during podcasts, pull them off the rotation.
Or maybe you discover you ONLY like podcasts and videos, so you might add in more and let the others go.

Looping Your Self-Care Ideas

Loop scheduling can work when you want to add variety to your Self Care routines without taking up mental space to decide what to do..it could look like:

Reading something for fun
Making a seasonal craft
Doing aDeep Breathing technique
Journaling
Giving yourself a mani/pedi

And even with these, you may decide,
“I Like reading or journaling before bed every night”
- so go ahead and do that!

And then pull those out of the rotation and replace ut with something you’d like to try in the Loop.

Kid Connection or Family Time - as a Loop

And while I want you to remain flexible in being available to the kids, you might set up a loop schedule for Kid Connection or Family Time:

Card games (or whatever game they like)
Read aloud time
Messy science stuff
Movie Night
Going on a bike ride together
Playing whatever they want you to play for 10 minutes - no interruptions allowed!
Going out for ice cream

Obviously you’d pick things that work in your family, but setting it up on a Loop Schedule may help you stay on top of it all if you find yourself saying,

“Oh yeah! I forgot we were going to try to do that!”

Another Reason to Join the Private Membership Group!

Over in my Creating Confidence Membership Group I talk with them about making time for certain things, planning for One Week at a Time. These could actually be set up on a Loop Schedule.

Learn a little about Unschooling or Deschooling (read/listen/watch) whatever works
Connect with the kids
Touch base with the unschooling community
Find something fun locally
Do Something for Self Care

You can set your loop in whatever frequency you want.

Maybe it’s daily for 15 minutes or so.

Or maybe it’s a few of these, but not necessarily the whole list - then you just keep looping.

So if you’re the kind of person who likes to make a plan but either it’s too long range or you just forget about it because of Life’s interruptions, a Loop Schedule could work for you!
It’s an adaptable structure that even unschoolers could use if they wanted.

If you’d like to hear more about structure, I have another podcast,
#23 called Structure, Schedules, and Unschooling .

You might want to go there next

.
So that’s it from me for now - be sure to subscribe and leave me a comment if you’ve used Loop scheduling and how it worked for you!

Overcoming Tricky Situations as Unschooling Homeschoolers

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 15:30:59 GMT

Transcript:

Prepping for Gatherings

I talk about dealing with Critics a lot of the time during Holiday season, but truth is, any time we’re getting together with friends and family, we can bump into uncomfortable situations.

Maybe it’s summer potlucks.

Hanging out on holidays like 4th of July.
Or family reunions or birthdays.

Lots of these happen in summer months, when the kids are out of school and their schedules are more flexible.

So let’s talk about how to handle it all. Inevitably, someone is going to ask,
“What are they learning?
“Do you do school year round?”

“Why are you doing this when we have such a good local school system?”

You know... all the typical questions.
Preparing ahead of time is the key!

So...if you’re new to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast - welcome!

I’m Sue Patterson, mom to 3 grown unschoolers, now all in their 30s, living typical young adult lives, owning homes, raising families, running businesses - and yes they got into college or whatever higher level education they needed to do what they wanted something - ALL while enjoying their childhood and taking this unconventional approach to learning.

I’ve circled back around to help families see that

YES! This works.

NO! Doors won’t close.

But you’ll need to take a little action on your part to undo some of the thinking that we all grew up with - usually these were ways to keep us conforming to whatever the adults had planned out for us. And some of these ideas are really in deep. See Ways to Get Support/Resources

New Freebies in the Shop:

7 Secrets to Be Successful
Get Started Unschooling - 1-page Checklist

We can dive into more of that but today, I want to focus on dealing with our skeptics.

It’s interesting because, depending on where WE are in this process, what our own confidence level is, we can interpret their question in so many different ways! Think about it…

Sure, tone will matter. But our perception may borrow a little trouble too.

A simple question of

“Why are you doing this?”

Could be answered with,

“School just wasn’t going to work for us. Pass the potato salad.”

If it’s someone we’ve often taken advice from and we know they don’t like this idea, we might freeze a little. ��

If it’s someone who has criticized us a lot in the past, we’re going to have a completely different response! ��

So before you go to any of these get togethers... think about WHO will be there and what you think they’ll ask.

Then think about what you’ll answer. How can you get out of the spotlight - that actually may feel like an interrogation light?

One thing I learned a long time ago, just because someone asks a particular question, doesn’t mean you have to answer it. You can completely redirect it by answering something you WANT to talk about.

Or say,
“The better question would be..."
and then give one that you’d like to answer or feel more comfortable with.
And, you can always say,
“Can we talk about this another time? I’d prefer to not talk about it in front of… idk, the kids, Aunt Sally, Grandpa?”

Remember, you’re a grown up. You don’t have to respond to everyone. And sometimes our families aren’t really used to us stepping into our roles as adults... as parents. They may still see us as the little sister or the needy one.
We all mature though - and even if that was your history, it doesn’t have to be how you are now. Your kids are actually counting on you to step up to the plate and not fall back into the old family roles.

Suggestions for the Kids

You may have to help the kids navigate a little bit too.

Typical questions can stump a kid if you haven’t talked with them ahead of time.

So, let’s think about what some of those could be:

“What grade are you in now?”

You’ve got a few options, but usually the kids just want out of the hot seat as quickly as possible.
Children may feel the pressure and may not do that well with it. They may just turn into a deer in headlights - which leaves everyone in the room wondering why they couldn’t answer a simple question like that.

I’ve even known kids to throw their parents under the bus when they don’t know what to answer when someone said,
“What are you learning these days?”
or “What’s your mother teaching you?”

They may say, “NOTHING! We don’t learn anything!” And while that’s the typical answer of most schooled kids too, the room will fall silent, everyone will turn to look at you - and you will inevitably feel your face begin to flush! ��

So let’s think ahead of time and see if we can sidestep some of these typical conversational train wrecks.

"What grade are you in?"
Pick one. What grade are most kids their age?

Or say,
“We don’t separate into grade levels. I might be 3rd grade in math and 8th grade in science.”
Chatty kids may like that answer... but many just want an easier way out.
“4th grade, Grandma.”

“What are you learning these days?”
Think about cool places you’ve been or interesting things you’ve watched.
“I’m really into shark week lately!”
or “We started going to the Nature Center - I had no idea science could be so interesting!”

You could also talk about what’s going on in the lives of the other people at the Get-Together.

What could you ask them ?

How was Paris?
How’s Tanya doing on the volleyball team?
When are tryouts for ...whatever they’re into.?

That way the quizzing isn’t only directed at the homeschooled kids.

Because that IS something you could pull your brother aside and say,
“Why do you do that to my kids and not all of the kids here? That’s not right. I’m going to have a hard time talking them into coming again if you keep trying to make them uncomfortable.”

Nothing like facts, right?

I know, it takes a little courage.
But if you’ve thought about it ahead of time, you’re not kicking yourself the next day WISHING you had said something to someone.

Remember the quote:
“You don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to!”
And it’s a good one to remind your kids too.

They can always say,

“Oh...that sounds like a question mom will have to answer for you!”

I have a few other podcasts that are specific to the holiday season, but many of the scenarios surface all year.

Remember...

➣ You can arrive late or leave early.

➣ You can stay somewhere else, so you’re not under the magnifying glass.

➣ You can skip it altogether.

➣ You can read up on research about homeschooling and unschooling if you need help articulating some of the concepts to friends and family who are REALLY interested.

You don’t have to defend your choices - to anyone.

They’re YOUR choices. It doesn’t mean you have to get mad at them, you can just smile, and say to yourself,
“Not today, dearie.”
A quick,
“Yeah, I know it’s different. But I don’t want to spend this whole weekend trying to help everyone understand.
Can we talk about something else?”

It’s part of that maturity timeline that YOU are on... getting ok with truly individualizing your life.

Stepping away from conformity. Making your own choices.

You know.. That’s the basis of unschooling anyway.

Prioritize your kids and your relationship with them - and that means at these get-togethers too.

Summertime Unschooling

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 20:32:05 GMT

Maybe a Test Run?

Would you like to test the waters and see if Unschooling could work for you and the kids?

I know a lot of you are still on the fence a little and would like to see if this could work before the Fall gets going. That’s when so many of us really want to have A Plan for the new school year - even when we’re not doing school in the traditional conventional way!

And I think it’s a great idea!

Summertime gives us a permission slip right? Whatever we choose to do, nobody is breathing down our necks, judging what you and the kids are doing. You WILL have to come to terms with that a little but not in the summertime right?

Nobody expects a lot from anyone, right?

So this is an opportunity to fly under the radar and see if unschooling could work!

Let's create a plan together!

I'm Sue Patterson

and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast.

I'm here bringing weekly reminders that:

Yes, you can do this!

Yes, your kids will be ok if you choose something as unconventional as unschooling.

And No, homeschooling doesn't have to look like school - that's what you were trying to get away from right?

My own 3 kids are all in their 30s now, and I have a decades of experience to share with you! I want to help you really individualize this learning experience for your kids - because when you do that - so many doors open!

So let's start with the here and now - at least in the Northern Hemisphere - let's start with Summertime!

This is the season where we get kind of a permission slip right? Whatever we choose to do, nobody is breathing down our necks, judging what you and the kids are doing. You WILL have to come to terms with that a little but not in the summertime right?

Nobody expects a lot from anyone, right?

I've created a new Unschooling Guide - I didn't realize I haven't made any new ones since Covid!

And I've always wanted to share how to see learning from a Seasonal Perspective.

As unschoolers, our "year" doesn't start with the August Back-to-school Season, it starts whenever we want it to. And the best way to approach it is to dive into the season you're in! I've made this Guide: Unschooling This Summer and I'll talk more about it in a little bit. But It will help you shift your perspective to be less about a calendar year that a school system needs to set, and more about living in the here and now. Interests and activities vary based on seasons. And even that varies depending on where we live. It's all part of individualizing. What works for a family in Florida in June might be really different for a family in Ontario in the same month.

The part that doesn't vary much are the principles of unschooling.

Seasonal Unschooling Guide: Summer!

IDEAS (& Subjects!)

I'm so excited to finally have this for you!
This new Unschooling Guides gives sooo many ideas for ways to play with subjects this summer! I'll SHOW you how to see the learning that's happening in your kids daily activities. I'm breaking it all down in school terms - because that's how we all think in the beginning! Let me help you have a great summer with the kids WHILE reassuring you that all the subjects are "getting covered!"

Sound good? Grab yours today!

Unschooling is about connection - no matter what season it is. It’s the magic key �� that will help you know what your kids interests are and create an environment where they can try things out without fear of grades or tests or judgements.

Parents and Kids Roles

I always tell my coaching group that everyone has jobs to do in an unschooling family.
Parents’ "job" or intentional focus is to deschool - begin to see the learning that’s happening without all kinds of manipulation and orchestration on our parts. Moms and dads have to spend some time unlearning some of the things they’ve thought about kids and parenting and education. We’ve made big assumptions - and society has pushed us along these lines - and lots of the ideas that we leave school with ourselves are not even true!

So while you’re creating this great environment where learning can happen more naturally, we are spending some deliberate effort getting our feet on solid ground with regards to unschooling.

Kids’ roles - and they’ll love this - is to explore and play and dive into interests. Some kids are deep divers while others are dabblers - no right or wrong here! No competition!

Because the point is for them to learn more about their own preferences and how they're going to interact with the world around them.

And that may not look at all like what you thought it was going to look like - and it’s ok!

You were making estimates based on your own life experiences. And frankly, those are a lot different from the experiences your own kids are having. Then add in the layer that they have varying personalities and interests. They're NOT mini-Me's. It's human nature to project - and that's what we've done. We just have to rein that in a little bit.

And also remind ourselves that our kids have their entire lifetime to learn what they need!

That’s a new concept for most of us, thinking they must be completely prepared for everything that they may encounter as adults - all by 18!

Think back to your own lives at 18. Odds are, lots of that stuff they had you memorize hasn’t really been necessary for you as an adult. And, the online capabilities and access to information is sooo much different now. If you've forgotten something, no problem!

YouTube will have a tutorial.
Google will help you dive deeper.
ChatGPT may even have some suggestions.

And that’s only going to continue changing like that!

Much better to live in the world WITH our kids now, showing them what really matters, helping them show us what really matters to them. When we can create this kind of Partnership, we can see what our next steps are.

Our kids that love building outside? We make sure they have tools and materials.
Our kids who love pretend play? We make sure they hear stories and have props and costumes.
We can hit garage sales or thrift stores so they have plenty of resources - and it doesn't break the bank.

And yes, our kids who love video games, too! We make sure they have access to good Wi-Fi and the opportunity to share about their progress without their parents shaming them about loving technology. We can notice the skills they're developing or the connections they're making with other people - online and right there in your own house? Are they sharing something cool or funny - it's not Less Than because it's online. Dont be dismissive.

So let's think a minute about how we'd create a Summertime Unschooling Plan. That's what you want to hear more about right? What's cool about summer is the pressure fades a little.

I mean, you know that's self-imposed pressure, right? At any point, you could STOP stressing yourself out about it. You could tell those voices in your head to sit down and wait a little bit. Because there really are no educational emergencies. There's plenty of time to learn what they need. But this is the only summer they'll be the age they are. With the interests they have. So let's celebrate them, and dive on in!

You can grab a notebook, and divide the page into 6 quadrants. In each square, you can put the subject:

Language Arts, Math, Science, Social Studies, Fine Arts, and in the last one... whatever they really want more of.

Or use this Free PDF I made for you - why reinvent the wheel? ��

FREE PDF for You!

Here's a downloadable PDF you can use to help you see all the subjects happening in your daily summer activities. Record what you plan to do - or use this as "after-the-fact" recording to reassure yourself that learning happens without curriculum!

So when we think about a "summertime unschooling plan," you don’t have to worry about legal requirments , or even getting plugged into support groups. Truthfully, most support groups usually fade out a little in the summer. You can keep an eye out for any near you - they’ll crank back up in the fall with park days and field trip ideas.

But this gives you time to really notice your own kids' interests.

For instance...

Language Arts

If they like to listen to adventure stories, get an audible account. This way you can listen with your eyes closed, and they can be transported! Maybe they like video stories more or movies? These are all Language Arts!

Even when they're making up characters in their make-believe playtime or imagining scenarios - these are all story and character development - part of the Creative Writing process!

Math

Maybe they're building sandcastles or mud forts - this is math. It's geometry and physics too!Or they're sorting or counting, dividing up the dessert, tracking the temperature, comparing gas prices at Walmart vs the gas station down the street... all math.

Social Studies

If you add in a little map reading and figure out how long it will take to get to the mall - and if that's different, depending on the traffic patterns where you live - you'll be adding in a little social studies to your math. Or maybe you're going to farmers' market and seeing what's in season, or attending an outdoor festival for a holiday or just for fun - these are all examples of learning more about the community. And that's Social Studies. What if you read the historic markers or go home and look up who that famous person was. Maybe there's a short video you could watch about the person or the situation?

Science

So backing up to that temperature tracking - that's also science. Learning to watch the weather changes, understanding the radar on Weather.com. Maybe it's time to pull out the sunscreen and figure out what various SPFs actually mean? I'm sure there's a YouTube video for that! See how one thing connects with another? Maybe they're interested in the rocks that are in the yard and how different they are from the rocks at the park? Why is that? Maybe you could plant some flowers in a sunny spot? Zinnias grow quickly - and sunflowers are pretty impressive! Have you seen the time lapse videos about seeds sprouting? I'll link a couple for you at the blogpost - but you could do a search on YouTube.

WATCH THIS: Seed Sprouting Time Lapse for a Variety of Fruits/vegetables ��

Something I'll share with you...

My 9 year old grandson goes to school. Just finished 3rd grade. He told me hates Science. That it's boring. But he loves looking through his grandpa's telescope, and mixing potions, and growing crystals, and collecting rocks and seashells.

He told me "That's not science! That's just life! I like THAT!"

And I reminded him that SCIENCE is way bigger than School Science.

And don't be fooled - it's WAAAAY cooler than what they're calling "science" in school! (Evidently!)

I just ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon for us to do next week when he gets back from Colorado - where he'll be out enjoying nature and hiking and just wallowing in SCIENCE.

I bring this up because YOU may think you don't like science. Or any of these other subjects.
But that's because of the way schools interpreted it for you! It's a super narrow perspective!

You think you hate history, but you love Bridgerton? ��
You think you hate geography, but you like to travel? ��‍♀️
You think you're no good at physics, but you love the speed that comes when you go down the big slides at the waterpark? ��
You think you hate math, but you like buying stuff? ��

See? Subjects don't have to be taught in a schooly way.

They can be lived. And enjoyed. And completely reframed.

And that's what you can spend the summer doing with the kids!

Skip the workbooks and summer curriculum.
Save your money for things like:

Season passes to children’s museums, and theme parks
National park passes
Art supplies
Audiobooks
Comfy play clothes.
And snacks!
I’m not gonna lie. Kids being home all day DOES drive up the food bill a lot!

You can grab the new Summer Guide, where I have pages of ideas for each of the subjects - plus week by week pages for you to write down what would be good to try THIS week, and then Next week. You can make a rough plan for the summer, but save the details for one week at a time.

Brainstorm with the kids about ideas, and then thik of it as going on a scavenger hunt to see what subjects are weaving in there. It's usually more than one! Life is like that! Messy. And nothing stays in it's lane!

Strewing Calendar Subscription

1 month, 6 months, 12 months

Summer months are great for tapping into ideas from the Strewing Calendar!
Find out all the celebrations that happen in the summer - you'll be so surprised how much the kids can learn from these things!

Printable Monthly Calendars and links page
Sunday emails with additional resource links for the week.
Private portal with all the subjects identified for each day

All Done for You!

Just hang it on the fridge and toss links over to the kids!

More Unschooling Support!

And you can always join my membership group , where podcast listeners save the $99 sign up fee - I’ll get you the link!

And this Summer Unschooling Guide is already in there for my Membership group - they get all the ebooks and unschooling Guides as part of the membership benefits. AND the strewing calendar every month!

And you get to be around other parents who are looking at life and education and parenting from a different perspective. Less fear, more joy. Less narrow more expansive. Less coercive more connective. I'd love to help you move in this direction.

So that's it for this week, on the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast. I'm glad we're here together, figuring it all out. I hope these little 10 minute or so Unschooling peptalks bring you the reassurance you need to keep being brave enough to do what works best for YOUR family! Leave a review or a comment at any of the platforms you're using - it helps us spread the word so other families can find the support they need! So many people don't even realize they have options!

Reach out if you need more from me, because I'd love to help you have a SUCCESSFUL homeschooling experience!

Happy Unschooling - and we'll talk again next week!

7-Day Unschooling Checklist Challenge

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sun, 02 Jun 2024 04:06:46 GMT

Ready to start unschooling?

Need a little hand-holding?

I'm here to help!

Many parents are just like you - with all sorts of questions!

How exactly do you get started?
Could someone walk me through this?
What do I do once we begin?

The Unschooling Checklist Challenge

I've created an EASY Checklist to get you started on the right foot.
All the topics you need to become confident competent unschoolers.

Each day for 7 days, I'll send you an email with inspiration, action steps - and even a PDF/worksheet to help move you toward confidence! We'll cover a different topic each day:

Getting Legal
Finding Unschoolers
Tapping into Community
Tackling Worries/Concerns
Creating a Learning Plan
Parenting Shifts
Finding Support

Think of me as your Unschooling Personal Trainer as you start this journey!

After a week together, you'll be in great shape!

I'm so excited to do this with you!

How to Know if Unschooling Isn't Working

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 21 May 2024 21:19:06 GMT

6 Signs Unschooling Is NOT Working for Your Family ��

Kids are not sharing what they’re interested in.
(Remember, they may “share” through their behavior, not through words but it’s up to parents to notice.)
Parents are not finding opportunities for them to expand on those interests
Parents don’t really like spending time with the kids so they’re not inclined to create “connection points” throughout the day
Parent’s personal life is overwhelming and they simply don’t have the bandwidth to help the kids full time - in which case the free child care at school IS a good idea.
Parents are not interested in looking into deschooling to see what needs to be dismantled, or how society has pushed concepts that don’t fit your family.
The home is not safe for kids - emotionally or physically.

So if these things are happening, think of them as your red flags. ��

Resist the tendency to see unschooling as not working, just because the kids can’t rattle off all the state capitols or aren’t interested in writing a research paper. Things like this point you back to deschooling - because you’re setting up goal posts that come from a standardized school experience. Not the individualized learning path your kids are experiencing.
These are not red flags.

Podcast Transcript:

“How will we know if unschooling isn’t working?”

One of our private coaching group members who’s new to unschooling asked this question and I know some of you have had people ask you too. If not outright, it’s often at the heart of those reluctant spouses or involved family members.

Or sometimes something feels off kilter... maybe we just cant put our finger on it...

but this isn’t what you thought it would look like. And frankly, it doesn’t feel all that great.

So that’s what I want to expand on here this week on the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

I’m Sue Patterson, your host here and the human behind all things Unschooling Mom2Mom. My own 3 kids are grown now, and I’ve circled back to let you all know that unschooling really works. When we were in the trenches, a lot of this was theoretical. It seemed like it WOULD work, but we didn’t know that many grown unschoolers. But now... nearly 30 years later - there are a lot!

I even wrote a book called Homeschooled Teens , where 75 young people spoke their lives without school. They’re super candid as they answered all the questions people want to know...like...

How was it?
Did you have any friends?
Did you go to college?
Do you still like your mom?

Real questions everyone wants to know!

The book is at amazon - it’s also free in my membership group if you’ve been looking for a reason to join. It has been soo reassuring to lots of parents over the years. I’ll link it for you in the shownotes.

I bring the book up because sometimes we live in communities where we don’t see a lot of other people choosing this unconventional path. And it’s important to know that we’ve had a few decades or waves of modern homeschooled generations roll through ahead of you.

I’m getting offtrack though!

Back to that question of

How to Tell if Unschooling isn’t Working?

Actually, it was my group member’s spouse asking. He wanted a little reassurance as they started this journey into the unknown. But one of the reasons people join my coaching group is because they want to know what I’ve seen over all these years.

Have I seen unschooling NOT work for some kids?

This question comes up fairly often, actually. You may have had someone ask you this too.

A lot of people have really reluctant spouses or friends and family who are incredibly skeptical.

Asking, thinking...

“How will you know when this little experiment of yours has run it’s course?”

or worse,

“What if YOU think you did fine, but the kids disagree when they’re adults?”

These seem like understandable questions. You may even be wondering the same things too!

It’s not unusual to look for the exit sign when you’re somewhere uncomfortable!

And for many of us, unschooling IS uncomfortable... it's certainly unfamiliar.

So yes, I have some ideas about this...

Ok..let’s break it down. I thought about unschooling "not working."

And my first thought is,

"Well, working for whom?"

Because if a parent takes the time to understand it, unschooling will work for any and every child.

Because let's be realistic. Who has freedom and then says,
“Nah, I think I want to be bossed around by someone else!” ��

Kids are natural learners - all humans are.

They may be getting their footing after years of being told what to learn and when to learn it.

So sometimes it takes a little while for them to feel comfortable - often leaving them to wonder if their parent is going to change their mind and yank away whatever it is they want to explore more.

They may even have some stories in their own heads about their choices being...not good.
...Or not good enough.
...Or lazy.
...Or not living up to their potential.
...Or something they won’t be able to make a living at!

All those phrases that may have been tossed their way when they were choosing to play more or not comply with the adult’s choices. Harsh criticisms and shame were probably techniques used on us when we were growing up. It's not unusual to duplicate our own experiences - until we learn that a better way may exist. ��

Kids' brains are always learning - maybe not what you were expecting them to learn about though.

And this leads me to the real issue.

Unschooling works for all kids but it sometimes doesn’t work for every PARENT.

Not every parent has the courage to do something so unconventional.
Not every parent has the bandwidth to learn and unlearn what they need to make it work.
Not every parent WANTS this choice!

Because Unschooling is not always any easy path.
Everyone’s baggage is different.
Realistically, some of us have other priorities or don’t have the inclination to make all the shifts needed for unschooling to work well.

While all LEARNING is natural. Your child WILL learn. Parents who opt for this path have a lot of unlearning to do.

To be successful at unschooling, we parents have to work on our own communication skills, get our ego in check, look at our own childhood to see what was true and what wasn’t. And that’s just not something everyone wants to do.

For all kinds of reasons. Admittedly, this will be harder for some than for others.

But if you've tried everything and you’re wondering if you could do this - or if I haven’t scared you off yet with all that, I have a ton of tools to help you along the way! You don’t have to do this alone! Or reinvent the wheel!
I’ll put links in the notes for the UNSCHOOLING 101 COURSE - I really think it can help you before you throw in the towel. So many parents have taken this course and realized they missed a few things when they started out. This helped!

I WANT you to unschool - because I think kids deserve to have those kinds of relationships - with you and with their own learning.

But! Let’s circle back to that original question “How will I know if it’s not working?”
I thought of six signs to look for. It might be things like:

Red flags fall into two categories

1. The kids aren’t thriving.

2.You don't want or can’t do the things needed.

If the issue is the kids not doing well, then your job is to do some more deschooling, but also work on your communication skills.

Sometimes we haven’t really learned how to connect with our own kids. It usually wasn’t modeled for us as kids ourselves, and society really doesn’t do much to help with this.

A few tips to try:

- Observing more.

- Asking without Advising.

- Connecting with trying to control something.

It’s hard for some of us - but these are all things we can work on. And when we do, we become the parents we want to be! And everyone benefits!

So this may end up being a fairly controversial podcast. But that’s my answer to the question -

"How do I know unschooling is not working?"

I did a podcast a while back, #104. It’s all about How Hard will Unschooling be for ME as the parent? That may be something to go listen to next. I’ll link it in the show notes and the description if you’re listening at youtube.

Need an Unschooling Personal Trainer?

And if you find yourself connecting with some of those 6 signs that you may have a red flag showing up, you can always reach out.

We can talk on the phone - some people talk with me once a month and I become their Unschooling Personal Trainer. That’s fun to build that kind of relationship.

Others like the community aspect, brainstorming for solutions like we do in the Creating Confidence Membership group .
In both cases, you’re not alone. It’s unfamiliar ground, but sometimes you just need a little help.

Reach out if you do, Enjoy the kids, and I’ll be back again next week.

A little more Podcast rambling...

I was on an Instagram Live last week with Liana Francisco who is in her 40s and was unschooled with her brothers. She’s unschooling her own child now. We took questions - which was cool - but she referred to me as a "pioneer." We didn’t start until the mid-90s and there were definitely unschoolers with kids older than mine when we first started.

I think of the modern homeschooling/unschooling arena beginning with those from the 70s and 80s. I was definitely the new kid on the block in 1996. I think we were the start of the Suburban Homeschooling Wave: the parents who took their kids out of school because it just wasn’t good enough. We weren't trying to live on the land or off the grid. We weren't homeschooling for religious reasons either. We were the new crowd entering the community. I guess I may have to embrace the OG aspect! Maybe I’ll do a podcast on the history and these waves that I’ve seen. Let me know in the comments if you’d like me to talk about that.

Unlocking Learning - Unschooling Explained

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 20:04:17 GMT

Podcast Transcript

I’m working on a free mini-course for those who are brand new beginners to switching to home education.

Lots of people are wrapping up their school year and they’re thinking... I don’t want to do this again next year.

And they need some truly practical How.to.Start .

BUT! Lots of you - probably most of you listening - are NOT Brand new. You may be newish, or maybe you’re homeschooling and thinking of switching to unschooling. Or you’re still kind of wondering how unschooling can help kids learn what they need.

I know, it sounds like I’m rambling, but I’m not! In that free miniseries that’s coming , one of the videos is all about the learning - and I thought - My podcast listeners will really want to hear this one too. Especially this time of year when people are looking ahead and trying to figure out what they’re going to do.

So this week, I want to talk with you about how the kids are going to learn what they need WITHOUT you wasting a bunch of money on curriculum.

Hello!

If you’ve been following the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast - great! Welcome back! I hope you’ve subscribed at whatever platform you’re listening on.

And if you’re new, here, I’m your host, Sue Patterson, mom to 3 grown unschoolers all in their 30s. And I’m doing this - all of this - podcasts, courses, guides, membership communities, social media, private and group coaching - because Unschooling Works. And I want anyone who is struggling with WHATEVER approach they’re using,to know really good options exist - you don’t have to stay stuck with something that’s not working.

Unschooling worked for my kids and for thousands of others.

And I want you to know that it can work for you - and I have all kinds of resources to help you see specifically how to do it! All of that is over at the Unschooling Mom2Mom.com website, RIGHT HERE . I’d love to talk with you to help you answer some of your questions and overcome your fears about doing something so unconventional and unfamiliar.

Learning Without Curriculum

And that ties into what we’re talking about this week. Learning. And specifically, learning without buying curriculum.We’re so used to that being the only way we consider legit. We may vary the curriculum - but using SOME kind of curriculum, some kind of one-size-fits all plan, we seem to believe in our core that that’s the universal starting place. Stepping away from that is so unfamiliar it feels scary.

And curriculum companies are right there, ready to keep you buying. Keep preying on those fears.

Fears you may have about not knowing what to do - they’re happy to tell you.
Fears that your kids will suffer because of your choice to do something unconventional - they want to b the one to get you back on the path (and remember, they don’t care if it’s a path that wasn’t really working for you. They think you just need to try harder, or buy something new.)
Sometimes they’re preying on the fear you may have about not being creative enough to figure this out (or too tired or too distracted) - they’ll give you colorful worksheets and text books that PROMISE your kid will love.

Overall, they want to trade cash for confidence.
They don’t really want you to THINK, just trussssst them.

And if you’re really afraid, they know you’ll cough up even more cash for this confidence they promise.

But I’m here to tell you that you don’t need them. I was no rocket scientist with unending patience and creativity.

What I DID have, was a willingness to learn.

And now, luckily there are so many ways for you to get the information you need.

If you fall asleep reading blogposts or PDFs? Don’t worry, there are podcasts or videos for you.

You still PERSONALLY like checklists and worksheets?
We can get you those too without you being led by the nose - and then forcing your kids along with you - through 12 years of scope and sequence designed by people who don’t know your kid.

What unschooling does, from a learning standpoint, is start with the Learner.

Start with the interests.

Then ripple out from there.

That way you’re never pushing and prodding to get them interested in something kind of blah.
Because, for those of us who have tried that... that IS exhausting!
And they still don’t retain what you were going on and on about!

And here’s the good news, because I know SO MANY grown unschoolers, I can tell you with 100% confidence that starting with their interests is the BEST way to go. Yes, there will be gaps . But not UNFILLABLE gaps! As soon as they have a need for the information, they can hop online and get it. And, truth be told, kids who were run through the ringer of 12 years of school - they have a ton of gaps too! And maybe not so proficient at searching through resources. They’re waiting for someone to teach it to them. Your kids will have the the time and space and opportunity to improve this skill.

At the heart of our gap worries, we’re thinking they need to know certain things to be successful.
Interestingly, I’ve seen a lot of parents move the goalposts on themselves and their kids when they’re thinking,
“We’ll just learn the basics, and then they can do what they want.”
But then the kids become teens and we panic a little...
"well, maybe diagramming sentences or that quadratic equation...but that’s it."

Fear makes us add on and on... and then the kid resists or thinks that their interests don’t matter as much as these other things you’ve told them REALLY matters more.

We took a different approach with my own kids. We dove into their interests, and worked out from there. The school way - the way that most of us are familiar with - wants us to focus on keeping them interested (somehow) in things that really don’t interest them now… because, maybe someday they’ll need it. Research and our own experience shows that we don’t retain those things very well. So all that effort and time, just rolls off.

What we DO retain, are the things that are relevant. Things that interest us. That has proven to be a much better starting place. Then as kids move around in their interests, they inevitably develop new vocabulary, read or hear how stories are written, learn about science topics or historical events, or have to make some kind of calculation to figure out the answers they’re looking for. And when they bump into something unfamiliar, THAT becomes the catalyst to learn something they didn’t know. The true Basics. The things they need to go deeper. Think about that. That’s what the “Learning the Basics” is supposed to provide. The scaffolding for those more advanced ideas that we bump into as we move forward.

THink about your real life. Your day to day life. The things that you do whether you’re a delivery person or a waitress, a city worker or a homemaker…. What do you need to know? Then, if you’re an engineer or a nurse or a lawyer or an architect… you move in that direction because you LIKE diving deeper into these areas. And as older teens, we see kids take community college classes as they transition toward these kinds of higher level educational paths.

Another interesting thing, When my daughter took some pre-college credit classes at community college - she noticed that her classrooms were filled with students who had already spent 12 years in school! They had diplomas. And they were NO FURTHER along academically than she was. She had spent her teen years doing community theatre, voice lessons, dance classes. She wrote some fan fiction, understood the math involved in working at Barnes and Noble, doing her taxes, budgeting and buying what she needed. We traveled and explored various places and their historical and cultural impacts.

But no curriculum.

No times table memorization.

No research papers.

She did fine in those classes, using them as a transition from a play-based… life - to college classes and a degree. And those classmates who had jumped through all those school hoops… were in exactly the same place she was. Only they hadn’t had the kind of childhood she had had.

My son filled his teenage years with travel, work, community service projects, and World of Warcraft (among other games) - but notably no academic pursuits until college. He ended up with a degree in Journalism (Magna Cum Laude even) and an MBA.
My youngest skipped all the higher academia, became a hair stylist and now owns a successful salon where people work for HER. She runs payroll, pays mortgages, keeps inventories… she didn’t need 12 years of school to do it.

My kids are not unique. Thousands of unschooled teens are enjoying this same path. Yours can too. I have resources at the website to help you wrap your brain around all this. Because certainly we were conditioned to believe that EVERYONE needs the same 12 years of starting - whether it’s in school or in a traditional homeschooling setting. And that’s not even the truth.

I’ve created a pdf to go with that free mini-course - helping you see that Real life offers what you need. We ust have to shift our thinking so we can notice all the learning and opportunities that are happening all around us. That should be ready in a week or two.

But I have Guides and ebooks I’d love to show you - when you tap into these, you discover examples of subjects weaving through our days. The Everything Counts Ebook and the Deschooling Guide are great for this. And if it’s math that bugging you a little more than the other subjects, I have a course ( Learning Math WiTHOUT Curriculum )that will help you see how everyone can learn all the math they need - without buying curriculum. I’ll put links to all these resources in the show notes.

This is the path to developing confidence.
Accessing the information that’s available will help you clean off the lens so you can see more clearly.

Then, after you’ve created a little space between what you USED to believe about learning and where you are now, I have a tool to help you brainstorm with the kids about their interests. They may not even know what to tell you. Not only do they have less life experience, but they may have been told to squash down their own curiosities to fulfill the requirements of the adults around them. Think of it as tiny fire that needs a little more kindling. A little protection from the wind.

As you continue to expose them to interesting things in your home, your community and the world, their learning will occur naturally.

I’ve added a page for you to write some things down - or you can get the Unschooling Guide to really brainstorm with the kids about what else is out there. I have ideas for everyone to explore at home or out in the community. Solo activities or things that would be fun with the family. Get those wheels turning. And if you need another tool to help the kids SEE some of the things they could be opting for, grab the Unschooling Guide about Brainstorming . It’s more in depth, giving you some ideas to help the conversation go smoothly as well as suggestion for 20 different categories that might be fun to explore! Remember, you’re going to think like a tourist!

How do Unschoolers Learn Subjects?

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sat, 13 Apr 2024 20:42:45 GMT

If you're looking into unschooling, it's not unusal to wonder,

"How DO unschoolers learn school subjects?"

"How will they learn what they need to be successful adults if you don't go out a buy all the curriculum in all the typical subjects."

The word, "successful," is going to mean different things to different people.

Maybe it's about getting into college, or finding a good career.

Maybe it's more about personal happiness - and the ability to fund that themselves.

Last week, I hosted a free webinar for about a hundred people wondering this same thing.
It's up at the Unschooling Mom2Mom YouTube channel now - please subscribe!

We talked about the actual subjects that weave into a variety of everyday activities for kids. I have visuals and handouts - all the things to help you get more comfortable with this concept when you hop over to the description at the YouTube channel. (If you registered for the webinar, check you email inbox for the links.)

Don't miss those free PDFs over there too!

Looking Beyond the Classroom

But there are a few things I want you to know:

How We Got Here

It might help to think a little about how we got here. (History of Education in the USA)

Back in the 1850s, Horace Mann promoted the idea that all kids of a certain age be taught certain subjects. By 1930, at least in the United States, sending kids to school became legally mandatory. We could talk for days about what prompted this and how the public was convinced this was a good idea - and in fact, some pieces of it still have merit. We DO benefit when our citizens are educated. It just all depends on what we think constitutes a good education, right?

And before I go off the rails here, I'm bringing this up because not a lot has changed in the way information is delivered in a school setting. Sure, the internet has made an impact, but kids are all still grouped by age, instead of interest or capability. Multi-age classrooms are a thing of the past. The teacher is expected to deliver all the information - wanted or not - to the children. And then they're tested to see what they retain. Then it's on to the next topic. For 12 years. All of childhood, really.

Bells ring, signifying it's time to move to the next subject, each getting between 30 minutes and an hour per day. A scope and sequence weaves throughout the curriculum, all determined by the legislature and the book companies. Attempts are made to help kids who don't conform to this approach - that's where the IEP concept comes into play.
Individualizing, though, isn't really something the system is designed for, so it's limited.

But you know all this. You've been there. Most of you listening. And if you're here, you've probably noticed the short-comings.

This all-too-familiar approach to learning, this "School Approach," whether it's happening in your local neighborhood buildings or it's being implemented at home in a traditional homeschooling model, this is just one approach to learning. It resembles the factory lines because it's a product of that era. But the world has moved on. And our children deserve to move with it, instead of being tied to an antiquated system designed in the 1800's.

So if schools are derived from the Industrial Age, what does learning look like in this innovative Age of Information?

We've discovered a few things along the way:

Learning is bigger than school
Schools are not the only source of information when you want to know something.
Learning styles vary and the teacher-driven lecture format isn't the best approach for a lot of people.
Critical thinking and problem-solving skills are developed when you're encouraged to explore instead of giving One Right Answer for a test.
Lifelong learning has become the norm, with people continuously adapting and acquiring new knowledge and skills, changing careers, shifting interests, pivoting due to changes in the world - throughout their entire lives.

What's the Better Option?

How Can They NOT Learn What They Need?

I know, answering a question with a question can be a little maddening. But it's the truth. I have even more questions for you.

When we can see that the world is changing at a rapid pace, don't we need to help our kids be able to change with it? Learning isn't about memorizing facts - those are at our fingertips all the time. It's about being able to think critically, solve problems, and adapt on the fly. These are the skills that really matter in today's fast-paced world.

Doesn't it seem logical that encouraging our kids tap into our communities, online and locally - we're opening doors to endless opportunities for them to explore their passionas and curiosities. They can connect with diverse perspectives and see the world as it truly is today - a place packed with possibilities, connections, and so many learning adventures!

Sometimes people say,

"That's all fine and good, but they need The Basics first."

I'm not sure we're even clear on what The Basics are!

Learning to read? Well, yes, that's important. But when you step away from school, you can see that your reading skills aren't necessarily what determines whether or not you learn. You can learn from watching videos, talking with other people, listening to pocasts!

Maybe adding/substracting, computational skills are what you're thinking is part of The Basics? But when kids are allowed time to play - whether they're building in the backyard or on Minecraft, cooking in the kitchen, creating clothes for their dolls or online characters - they're learning math skills. They're sorting and measuring, they're estimating and EXPERIENCING math... as well as physics and geometry and all those basic math skills people are worried about.

And before you dismiss the online playing - we are seeing kids with so much richer vocabulary from watching videos online. They're spelling skills grow as they chat or follow directions. Their research skills are way beyond our own as they're trying to solve issues they're encountering.

When a child isn't waiting for someone else to randomly pour information into them, they take up the task themselves, right? They move in the direction of their interests. And as they do, they bump into obstacles that keep them from moving forward. THESE become the catalysts to learn more, to develop new skills, to continue on their path. They don't have to be convinced to do this, or told that their future depends on it. They don't have to be coerced or bribed or shamed.

When we haven't convinced kids that their preferences are secondary or that they have to do the adult's choices before they can get to theirs, this autonomy grows.

I know you remember what it was like when you were told to wait. When you were told that you could play after you did your homework. Or you couldn't start a project because you were on a school schedule instead of your own. That little light inside you dimmed - until you got out of school. THEN you were able to explore your interests and see what your own preferences were instead of someone elses.

When we take off those rose-colored glasses, we can see that the old ways weren't always best. But helping kids deal with the reality and OPPORTUNITIES that learning presents today - that's our role as parents.

But HOW do we do this?

1) A Little Internal Work.

We look at objectively at our own experience with learning. We see where it fell short and where we excelled.
And then we look at why that happened. When we step away from what's familiar, we have to make a conscious effort to learn more about how unschooling and deschooling works. Lucky for you - you have an entire website here to work your way through! ��

2) Prioritizing Our Kids

We protect our little learners from our own fears. We resist the urge to make comparisons and interfere in the learning process. We encourage curiosity and self-direction. We answer questions and provide opportunities, without trying to secretly mold and duplicate our own school experience. We recognize that fear and conformity is how we were raised - so it's not surprising that we fall back on that tactic when we step into uncertain times. It helps to find other unschoolers doing this so we can bounce ideas off of them and remind ourselves that we're not alone.

3) Reframe Your Ideas about Learning

We recognize that learning is happening EVERYWHERE! And everything really DOES count. Little snippets of conversations or bits of information add up to a completely individualized pile of knowledge for our kids. This helps them direct their own path - with our help, of course. But they don't have to have a mid-life crisis in order to finally have the nerve to do something they want to do. As unschooled kids, they've been moving in this direction all along. Sometimes the concern is how to document all this so they CAN get into college if they'd like to or if the career path they choose requires it. Rest assured, unschooled kids are doing this all the time! No doors have closed for them!

What's wrong with a little curriculum?

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 18:48:11 GMT

I know what's happening...

I see you over there sitting on the fence. One foot in the familiar educational option and leaning... trying to dip your toes in this unschooling area.

You may even think,

“It’s ok, I’ll just use curriculum for... I don't know... math, or spelling or writing. Just a little. We will still MAINLY be Unschoolers."

But this week, I want to talk to you about what’s wrong with this idea - before you go out and purchase some big curriculum that promises to handle it all for you!

I know how good that sounds. But it’s a lie. It’s NOT going to handle it all!

YOU will have to find a way to convince your kids that the curriculum is MORE FUN than their own ideas.

You’ll have to redirect them away from their interests so you can check the boxes and keep on track.

If they’ve had any taste of freedom, that will be a hard sell.

And here’s the thing - it’s not even necessary.

They WILL learn what they need if you’re right there with them, discovering cool things along the path and helping them explore their interests.

This week, I want to save you some money - and really the savings is a lot more than that! If you can hold off on buying curriculum - even just a little - you can help your kids learn to trust themselves. You can help them see that curiosity is a GOOD thing. They can learn that learning IS fun - especially when it has nothing to do with checking other people’s boxes. The list goes on and on of all the benefits of unschooling!

But if you’re not totally convinced, I want to share a few things that I think are whats wrong with “just a little” curriculum....

➡️ Why is one subject needing more focus than another? Are you afraid it’s not going to “come up” in real life? And... if it doesn’t come up in real life, do you really need it?

➡️ When we separate subjects, are we saying this one is “harder”? So we are putting our own bias into our kids - when they may have no math phobia at all... until you give them yours! (Applies to any subject we aren’t fond of)

➡️ Is it a trust issue? Are you giving your kids the idea that you trust them to learn some stuff but not ALL stuff? For these, you must “Make them do it.”

➡️ And what do we know from research happens when we coerce children (even sugar coated coercion)?

Coercion feels bad - and when we feel bad, we learn less. We get conditioned for external rewards instead of intrinsic ones. We spend more time looking for loop hole - like how little work can we do to get a B or something like that - instead of focusing on the learning itself. It pushes them to resist and resent you, the subject, and sometimes even learning in general.

➡️ Unschooling is about staying focused on The Learner. This would shift the focus back to the Teaching and away from the Learner... so ignoring all the principles of unschooling

➡️ When we keep separating subjects out, we have a lot more deschooling to do. And I want to tell you - I skipped over a lot of Deschooling and it prolonged my anxiety, caused me to panic and throw money at curriculum, and filled my path with obstacles that didn’t need to be there. If I had just passed for a minute and thought more about these deschooling concepts. Lots more has been written about deschooling - I have a ton for you at the website, at YouTube, and even more within the Membership group. I’ll put the link in the show notes. So many of our problems come from trying to hurry through deschooling.

This Friday, I’m hosting a webinar that will show you some concrete examples of how unschooling can cover those subjects you’re worried about. You don’t need to go out and buy curriculum to artificially create an environment where that subject would be used. You may hear Unschoolers say,
”if it doesn’t show up in your Life, you don’t need it!” And that may freak you out a little!

They don’t mean that you’re skipping entire subjects - because some ASPECTS of EVERY subject weaves through your life. And based on your interests and your own experiences, some more than others.
And that’s ok. None of us are identical to each Other - so out Learning isn’t going to be a cookie cutter all 9 year olds need to learn this approach either.

I’ll go into it in more depth on Friday,I have a lot of examples to show you. But remember this: Unschooling makes room for TRULY Individualizing the learning for your child. We aren’t talking lip service here - we mean it! A kid who loves building contraptions and taping cardboard together should be allowed to keep

doing that - with you offering more cardboard or different kinds of tape, or what about wheels or metal or old sheets? They don’t need to be interrupted to go read from The Classics or show me that they can do a worksheet on fractions. Those will come later - probably when they start measuring for the projects they want to create.

And… they have their whole life to explore other things. But interrupting projects to cover something you’re worrying about is like putting speed bumps all over a road that just doesn’t need it. Your choice for what they need to know isn’t inherently more important than their choice.
Yours is driven by your own past school experiences - something I really recommend you deschool.
And it’s driven by fear.

Whereas their choices are driven by curiosity and their brain’s desire to seek out more information in that particular direction.

I’m not saying to sit on your hands and wait to be invited into the learning experience.
I’m saying...

Watch more than direct.
Listen more than instruct.
Observe instead of orchestrate.
And then proceed accordingly.

What do you know from your own longer life and experience that might be interesting to your child?
What could help them expand a little in a particular direction?
All the while paying attention to whether they WANT to expand.
They may be happy where they are - that’s ok too.
Learning can happen in waves... not all at one time on a continuous pace. Ebbing and flowing, peaks and valleys.

When we take the school approach... pre-planned curriculum, all kids of a certain age learn certain topics or skills, we are throwing all this information at them - not because they want it. Because it’s all laid out in a systematic way that we as the educator/the teacher has bought into.. But most of it slides off unless that kid had some relevant life experience as a reason to hold onto it. But the teachers check the box and call it A Good Day for Learning.

No. Maybe a good day for TEACHING, but the learning? That's an inside job that really belongs to the learner.
Let's think about our own history. We memorized it for the test on Friday and didn’t retain it after that… I don’t think we can legitimately call that Learning.

But the difference is what happens when you START with the interests of the learner and you move in THAT direction. Maybe the 7 year old is curious about something that isn’t taught to kids typically until high school biology - are you supposed to tell them to hold that thought for 5-6 more years?
The interest is there and that’s the direction you go. When there’s interest, there’s relevance. Where there’s relevance, the information stays with you. It isticks. And that’s how unschooling works. It’s not some goofy hippie dippy approach. It totally makes sense. It’s logical. It’s how we learn as adults - once we were released from the school system. Which is quite honestly, becoming more and more outdated as technology and The World, moves on without it.

So, this week, let’s think about how learning weaves through life. Let’s embrace a little more of that unschooling approach. Come to my free webinar on Friday where we will talk about it. Get on my email list so you find out about all the resources I’m creating that could actually help you do this!

If you listen to this after April 5th, the recording for the webinar will be up at the Unschooling Mom2Mom YouTube channel. I have an entire playlist of past webinars - like what’s a typical day like, or is unschooling too… weird? This is our 4th one for this year! The first Friday of each month!

So that’s enough from me - reach out to get the unschooling support you need.
And I’ll be back to chat with you again soon!

Here’s my little intro, in case you’re new here.
And if you’re not new, maybe we should connect?

I’m Sue Patterson sharing nearly 30 years of unschooling experience with parents like you - ready to learn more about how this unconventional approach to education can actually be the best choice! I have courses , guides , ebooks and even a private membership community where you can get all the support you need!

You can find it all here at Unschooling Mom2Mom.com or in the show notes.
You really don’t have to figure this out on your own!

And...if you enjoyed the podcast, leave a review! It helps your podcast platform know that the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast is worthwhile and MORE parents can find out how they don’t have to stay stuck with the status quo! They can break away from their current approach (that isn’t working) and make the leap toward unschooling. Reviews and comments are always appreciated!

Happy unschooling!

Need to talk it out?

How Do Unschoolers Find Each other?

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:05:55 GMT

Finding Your People

How DO Unschoolers Find Each Other?

Listen to the Unschooling Mom2Mom Podcast

Are you having trouble finding other unschooling families?

Or maybe you’d just like to find people who don’t want to talk about curriculum all the time,
or
when you say, “My kid really doesn’t want to do that,” do they tell you,
“Just make them. Take away their fun stuff until they comply?”

Moving toward unschooling can feel lonely but I want to give you some ideas to help.
You see, you’re not really as alone as you think you are. It’s just that the typical top-down, my-way-or-the-highway approach to parenting and educating are the loudest. The most confident. The most intimidating, right?

That’s what I want to talk with you about this week - how to find others who are stepping away from all of that. And how to help you feel a little more confident when you’re moving around in the circles you already live in.

I’m Sue Patterson and this is the Unschooling Mom2Mom podcast.

Each week, I share a mini unschooling pep talk - about 10 minutes or so - because I KNOW how busy you are.
I want to pop into your lives and give you a little encouragement. A little reassurance that unschooling really DOES work!

My own three kids are all in their 30s, all unschooled, all very different paths - but doors did not close for them because we chose this unconventional path. And I want that for you too. Everyone’s lives look different - and you really don’t have to duplicate school to help them be successful as adults.
I have a ton of unschooling resources
check the show notes for those related to today’s podcast or the Unschooling Mom2Mom.com website for even more.

OK.

Let’s set the stage here.
Maybe you started homeschooling back during covid. You were kind of thrust into it.

Maybe you were homeschooling before that and your kids were little. Much more open to all your wonderful suggestions.

Or maybe you’ve just pulled your kids out of school and you’re tapping into the homeschooling families that you can find easily where you live.

Odds are, you feel like you need more people in your life. When you walk away from the mainstream, the status quo, you may look around and feel like… hmmm… where’d everybody go?
Lots of times on these podcasts, I talk about being on a conveyor belt. Because that’s the typically passive way people move through life. Their learning is because the teacher decided that’s what they’d learn today. Their friends” (more airquotes) are determined by desk proximity or who’s in their class that year. So when we step away from all that, get off the conveyor belt, we have to lace up our own shoes and get more active. This is how we create a life that FITS us. It’s not hard to do, it’s just that no one really showed us how.

BUt I will. If you’re wishing you had a few more people in your life who are navigating off the beaten track, venturing into what feels like unexplored territories, you’re in the right place.

Let’s talk about 4 ways to find your people - truly YOUR people and not the people your birth year or your neighborhood selected for you.

Homeschool Co-Ops or 1-2 Day "Schools"

Lots of families tap into Co-ops or One or two day “schools. They’re pretty easy to find now.. Some are pretty fun - offering cool science projects or art programs. Maybe theater options or even big PE kinds of things. My kids did one like that.

But often they also have a lot of academic options. And if you’re deschooling, and trying to see the subjects weaving through life WITHOUT signing kids up for classes in the typical reading, writing and ‘rithmetic…. you can feel a little pressure.

Sometimes it’s internal… you’re not super confident yet, so you get triggered by other kids who know something your kid doesn’t.

Sometimes it’s external… and other parents say, “Aren’t you worried they don’t know any math?” or “can’t ready well yet” or Don’t know… idk, the list goes on and on, right?

They don’t know the capitals.

They don’t know their times tables.

They haven’t written a research paper.

They haven’t memorized all the parts of speech.

You know the list. And no. They don’t know those things.
Or at least not in the same way the other kids who’ve been schooled in this way, know them.

If you’re new to all of this, you can get a little panicky thinking you’re screwing this all up. You’ve mentally dismissed the things that they DO know, because they’ve been exploring their interests and diving deeper into them. They’ve DEFINITELY been learning. A TON of things. But those things aren’t showing up on the standardized tests or the scope and sequence for various grade levels.Or in what people tend to want to mention as a comparison.

OK. If this is you, I get it. Part of the problem is that feeling that you have to hit the ground running or your kid will be behind. And since you haven’t done all the deschooling that YOU need to do, you’re sometimes blowing whichever way the strongest breeze blows - or most opinionated mom pushes. And co-ops often have quite a few of those.

Deschooling may be an issue

I’m not going to dive into the deschooling aspect of this. I have a playlist at youtube that can really really help you work through deschooling. I’ll link to it in the notes. Work your way through those videos - or read the transcripts if you’re more of a reader than a watcher. I’ll get you the links.

Getting on solid ground from a deschooling standpoint will help you SOOO much as you interact with other people who are choosing other ways of parenting or homeschooling. You don’t have to stay away from them. You just have to grow your own confidence in what YOU are choosing. I promise, it will get easier the more you learn about deschooling.

So this podcast is about finding your people. I mentioned the co-ops because that’s how I started to identify the people I was going to really connect with. The co-ops were already in place. It was pretty easy to find them - even back in the 90s. More so for you now. All you have to do is ask in any homeschooling facebook group or email a local homeschooling group and ask what’s near you. Those groups may not be your particular religious or political affiliation, but it’s a starting place.

I did this, signed my kids up for art and PE, and went on a hunt for people who seemed a little on the fringe.
Other moms and dads who were more interested in connecting kindly with their kids. Less interested in the academics. Maybe even spoke of the word, “unschooling,” without curling their lip or wincing like it was a problem. When we first used the co-op, we weren’t unschooling yet. So we were sharing catalogs of cool resources - and that kind of gave you a clue to what the people around you were like.

Creating "Sub-Groups"

Then the kids gravitated toward certain kids, and we decided to meet to swim or go out to lunch together. And that was the start to how I was forming my own “subgroup” within groups that really didn’t fit me that well.
Yes, there was drama - because there’s always drama in groups. But when you focus on the kids, and helping them find connections...and allow yourself to find a few other parents who are willing to talk with you about alternatives to the status quo… you’re moving in the right direction.

Once we found a handful of other parents, we started to create “field trips” on Fridays. Little group outings where the kids could hang out. Sometimes they were at parks near one of our houses.
And thus began individualizing our own group to fit what we needed.

See? You don’t have to stay stuck.

Mom's Night Out

Another way to find your people is to create a Mom or Dad’s night Out. Ours was at a coffee shop midweek, once a month - I think it was the 3rd Wednesday of the month. This allowed people to see it on their calendar for a little while. We were able to have conversations about parenting, what was working, what wasn’t. And because we were new at this, and it was starting up new, no one was seen as The Expert who was telling us what The Right Way to do everything was. From this group, we even created a Book Club and read a different book each month, like, Punished By Rewards, or the Unschooling Handbook, or one of the books by John Holt. That was an interesting way to get to talk with other parents about how they were approaching everything.

Unschooling Friendly Conference

Another way to find your people is to go to an Unschooling Friendly conference. I don’t really recommend going to any of the big Homeschooling Conferences as there are a LOT of people there who really want their kids to do all the subjects… and if you’re looking for a more relationship-focused attachment parenting approach, you probably won’t find it there. But if you go to an Unschooling conference - you’ll find a wider variety of people. I have a webpage at the Unschooling Mom2Mom website with conferences listed - I’ve been to a lot of them personally! They’re so much fun. We used to trek all over the country several times a year, to meet up with friends we had met online. Some of my closest friendships were created this way.

Online Support Community

And don’t forget that you can still find your people in the comfort of your own home - still in your PJs, unbrushed hair, we won’t even care! And that’s in the membership I’ve created for parents all around the world. Parents like you. Parents who thrive on community but for one reason or another, just can’t pull that off in this season of life. For only about $10/week, you can tap into a group of parents on this unschooling path, willing to help you find resources and grow your own confidence. We have group coaching calls twice a week - a community check-in and a more general Q & A… a huge library of resources to help you no matter where you on this path.

I really love this group because it’s exactly what i would have used - if it had existed back in the 90s! Actually, I probably would have done all the other things AND this online community too!

Sometimes people have asked,
“Couldn’t I just get that from a free Facebook group or Instagram?”
And my answer is, “Maybe.”

In the past, we’ve had really active groups where people made all kinds of connections. That seems to have shifted over the years, and it’s harder to get really GOOD unschooling support out there. So that’s why I’ve created this private community where you can ask questions without falling down rabbit holes that don’t help. Some people come for a month, others have been in there since 2016 when I started it! And some come for a while, leave, and then come back later when they need more support. I’m fine with however you want to use it. I just know that many of us need to find our people to be successful with this.

Whether you’re creating mini-subgroups, branching off from the larger groups or co-ops in your community, or you’re creating Moms Night Out, getting a conference onto your calendar or tapping into my membership group - you have options. You really don’t have to do this alone.

These are some ways to help you find your people.

I do want to say, I’m really happy that so many of you are willing to do whatever it takes to create a world that WORKS for your family, saying “no” to the status quo, opting for better than “mediocre.” And, I know, really INDIVIDUALIZING all of this is not always easy. It helps to see that others are working on this too - having good days and bad days, but moving in the direction they want to go.

Keep listening to podcasts , grab a course , an unschooling guide or ebook , if you need to dive deeper.
And reach out if you need help finding what you need or want to hop onto my coaching calendar .

Lots of options.

I’ll be back again next week!

Rethinking 'Screentime': Why It's Time for Parents to Shift the Conversation

coaching@suepatterson.com (Sue Patterson) — Sat, 09 Mar 2024 22:45:00 GMT

Screentime.

The word is often used in a derogatory way, dismissive of all the possibilities that this technology offers.

And, it reflects poorly on the person using the word - it implies a lack of knowledge, a minimal knowledge maybe - kind of a cluelessness.

Because “screentime” can mean Television, tablets, phones, desktops. It can be found in your house, in your car, in your pocket.

I want to break it down some more, because I want you to stop using the term.

Breaking the Habit

Sometimes we use the word when we’re talking with other parents.
We refer to “kids these days on their screens all the time.”
It’s almost a dog whistle to connect us with other struggling parents - a way we don’t feel so alone in parenting.

But it’s setting up an Us against Them scenario. And the "US" is you and other parents. Not an "Us" with your kids.

And that’s not going to help you if you’re trying to develop trust and encourage more connection with your child.

But that Parenting Peer Group Approval is strong - it’s a carryover from our school days of a more general peer pressure situation... always striving to be in the right crowd, win the teacher’s approval, conform to the group so you’re not ostracized.

So you may feel a little twinge when someone raises their eyebrow or gives a side-eye to that kid playing on their iPad nearby.
I want you to see that as an attempt for a connection with other parents (our peers) but at the expense of the child.
Maybe even our own child.
If it’s someone else’s child, the parents may be trying to signal to each other
“I’m on top of this ‘problem’ we all know about,” and “I’m not one of THOSE parents.”
Seeking approval.

And all of that is the opposite of trying to partner with your kid so you can help them navigate through life. You’re showing them who’s “Side” you’re on, when it comes to technology. And it’s not theirs. So… when they have a problem with it, you’re not going to be the person they turn to for help. You’ve set up a power struggle over it, and asking for help, recognizing a problem they’re encountering, wouldn’t be helpful to THEIR SIDE in the power struggle. That’s why I talk so much about being on Their Team, so to speak. Not the gatekeeper of all things they love.

Sometimes we use the term screentime when we’re talking to our kids. A way to shame them for their choices. A way to manipulate them to choose what WE want them to choose. And then, because we haven’t given it a lot of thought, we’ve minimized what they’re doing. The learning, the entertainment, the exploration - we’ve just dismissed it all.

A lot of unschoolers have talked about making a comparison to "Book Time."
Maybe some of you did hear,

“Get your head out of those books!”

Even if you did, though, reading a novel is narrow compared to all the things that can be happening as kids transition from one activity to another on the devices.

They could be watching cooking shows to figure out new techniques or be inspired.
Or looking up weather.
Or watching disasters happening around the world.
They could be chatting with friends, sharing artwork they’ve created, making plans and checking calendars.
They could be looking at how much money they have available to buy that app they want,
Or watching a video about why their dog is barking so much.

The opportunities to learn are endless. If you’re thinking,
“I wish they’d read a book like I did.” or “I wish they’d ride their bike or build a skate ramp,”

They are not you.

And the world is not the same as it was 20 years ago.

Don’t glamorize the Old Days...sometimes we did those other things because we had no other options. Our kids have so many more options.

A while back, on the Unschooling mom2mom facebook group , long time unschoolers were discussthis and someone said,

"A computer, a hand held game, an iPod are doors that lead to a vast world of experiences. Just as your front door leads to a vast world of many different things you can do. Would you refer to all the things your family does by going through your front door—walks, shopping, visiting friends, mowing the lawn, vacations—as "door stuff"?

"Stop looking at the door. See the richness that exists beyond the door."

Another followed up with thinking of it as carrying dozens of magical doors in their pocket - all accessible wherever and whenever the need arises. And because of that perspective, our lives are bigger and richer and more connected for having a pocket full of magic doors. If someone wants to stay on their side of the door, so to speak, or lacks the imagination to see how the world is so much bigger - and more available... well, that’s ok.

Fear and conformity can make us play small.

My guess is that’s what’s happening

What Are Your Next Steps?

So, how to move past these limiting beliefs about technology.

Think about the FUNCTION of what the phone, tablet, TV, desktop is being used for.
Go on a Scavenger Hunt.

What are all things YOU do on your phone on a given day?

What other devices do you use that are electronic?

3. Get Curious about some of the things your kids are doing when THEY are on their devices.

Is there some overlap?

Are they doing some of the things YOU are doing, just at a kid level and with a kid’s version of interests/preferences?

Instead of asking how long they’ve been online, ask:
"what they’re working on?"
"What are they doing?"
"Who are they talking with?"

4. Read a little more on this

Screentime - Roxana Sorooshian writes about all the ways she uses her phone, tablet or desktop.

Limiting Your Child's Fire Time: A Guide for Concerned Paleolithic Parents. It was funny - and very applicable.

Too Much Technology?

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 17:39:00 GMT

When parents ask this, they often add that their child is on their computer, phone,
gaming console ALL.THE.TIME. It’s clearly a source of frustration.
But I think some of the frustration is because of a mistaken story you’re telling yourself.

That’s what I want to talk to you about this week. We did a whole webinar about technology this month - I've uploaded it here (above).

But this is a smaller piece that I think you need to consider.

That’s what I like these podcasts for - short little unschooling peptalks. I seem to have missed a couple weeks, but we’re about to wrap up SEASON 3 this month, so I’m going to be better with my weekly plan. I don’t have any advertising or sponsors for this podcast, just you and me here.

And that reminds me. I want to tell you something.

I think it’s really great that you’re trying to figure out a game plan that will work for your family - for your kids.
It would easier to just ride along. Doing what everyone else is doing.

But here you are, looking for solutions. You’re even examining your own part in some of these scenarios - looking at your own motivations, trying to see the situation with a little clarity.

And truth is, most people don’t do that.

So...I want you to take a second and remind yourself that even if you don’t have this all figured out yet, you’re on the right path.

You’ve opted to not just ride the conveyor belt of Life.

We both know that the kids AND you, deserve more than a mediocre life. So yay you!

I’m happy to walk along with you on this unschooling journey - even if you’re not unschooling. You’re looking into what could be done to make LIFE better in your family.

That worth a little shout out. I love that you’re doing that for yourself and your kids!

And if you’re new to the Unschooling Mom2mom podcast, I’m Sue Patterson, mom to three grown unschoolers - now ALL in their 30s. And I’m here to shine a little light for you...to show you what I've seen work and not work.

I promise I’ll keep it real...which turns out, in this age of social media and highlight reels, that’s hard to sift through what’s true and what’s not.

If you start feeling like you’re not doing enough or your life isn’t going as well as someone else’s, I want you to come back to the podcast, find an episode the relates to your concerns , and visualize me sitting there with you, I’ll have my coffee and you’ll keep juggling the kids.

But I won’t leave you. You’re really not alone.

More Support from Sue

I do have a variety of ways I can support you.

We could set up regular calls or you could join an entire community of unschooling parents - all at various points on their own unschooling journeys.

If you’re feeling isolated, I really think this is something you should do.
And Podcast listeners can join us without paying the $99 sign up fee.
If you’re catching the recording on YouTube, I have links for you too to save the fee.
So check out the show notes on whatever platform you’re using. You needs support sooner than later though - the frenzy of searching for next year’s curriculum is about to start, and I’d really like to toss you a lifeline for that. ��

Let's Dive In

OK... back to this week’s topic... technology. Again.

I have a couple of other podcasts, if you want to binge a little on this topic.
Go to podcasts #76 , #51 , #30 - your own little playlist.

Usually when I dive a little deeper with parents, I discover that they are still going to soccer practice, playing with the dog, doing a family movie night... all sorts of other things IN ADDITION to playing on their devices.

The parent is also making sure they can hang out with a friend or two, go to a homeschooling activity, or making it to a weekly library trip.
But in OUR MINDS... it’s technology 24/7.

From the minute they wake up until their little head hits the pillow.

And WHY do we do this? To ourselves and to our kids?

It’s the usual culprit: Unchecked Fear.

Confirmation Bias

I’ve spoken before about Confirmation Bias...but in case you missed it...
It’s what we do when we’re trying to find evidence to support our conclusion.
It’s a cart-before-the-horse thing.

Instead of examining the data, observing the situation objectively and THEN coming up with a conclusion, we start with the conclusion:
"They’re on their computers too much."
And then “Aha! See? That’s what I thought!” ...when we see them happily gaming at home.
Yes, we just got back from something out in the community - but we dismiss that piece of information. "Gaming! There it is. AGAIN!"

A Scavenger Hunt - for YOU!

So it might be helpful to put YOURSELF on a scavenger hunt.

�� Make a note of all the OTHER things they’re doing in their daily lives.

Take it to a granular level:
✔️ Do they eat meals?

✔️ Do they shower?

✔️ Do they have a conversation with you?

But then also...
✔️ Do they go to the skate park?
✔️ See a movie?
✔️ Go to a friend’s house?
✔️ Play with cousins?

Write it ALL down. Keep track for a week. See if you see patterns.
But also SHOW yourself a more accurate representation of their days.

So after you’ve done this more accurate assessment for a week or so, you can see what’s going on.

There really could be trends, like:
They get online when you’re busy. Then when you’re not busy anymore and ready to connect with them, they’re fully engaged in their game.
But maybe that's something you could shift WITH them before they get online.

Yes, unschooling is all about the flexibility of Life.
But it’s also about individualizing the plans for your own family’s needs.

Do you need to take some responsibility and make a little more of a plan?
Could it just be done in blocks... like morning, afternoon, evening?
What are some things you and the kids would enjoy doing TOGETHER?
What would be a good time of day to do it?
Would it be helpful to plan for it after one of the more natural transition points like meals?

All of this is good data to accumulate so your fear of technology doesn’t grow and start running the show.

Still Not Sure What To Do?

And if you’re still at a loss for what to do with them - because let’s face it: Opting for curriculum takes all the guesswork out of things.
It doesn’t do anything for individualizing and it certainly adds to more power struggles.

But if you need a little help brainstorming with the kids about what are ADDITIONAL things to do... the Brainstorm Time, Unschooling Guide will help you sooo much.

Remember, you’re not saying INSTEAD of computer time.

You’re saying, “In addition to...”

More for that Unschooling Buffet you're creating.

Not "Instead of" - "In Addition to..."

Thanks for listening to the Unschooling Mom2mom podcast. Let us know in the comments what you thought of this episode - or if you have some ideas for the future. We’re about to start our 4th Year at this! Over 268 THOUSAND downloads, since we started in March of 2021. And I like to think of that as an indication that more parents are seeing that duplicating school is NOT the best way to raise children. And that the world is full of all sorts of ways to learn - we just have to deschool a little more, take off those blinders, and open up to new possibilities. I hope you have a great week with the kids. And I’ll be back again soon.

October 14, 2020

Unschooling Mom2Mom

Radical Unschooling (And Why You Don’t Need to Be Afraid of It)

Radical Unschooling: What It Really Means (and Why It’s Not Extreme)

What People Think Radical Unschooling Means

Radical Unschooling

Does Not Mean Reckless Parenting

The Core Values Behind Radical Unschooling

What Unschooling Is — and Is Not

How Radical Unschooling

Changes the Focus of Learning

Radical Unschooling

﻿ as Intentional, Relationship-Centered Parenting

Radical Unschooling Is About Doing What Matters Most

"I like this, but how do I shift my own mindset about it?"

Frequently Asked Questions About Radical Unschooling

What is radical unschooling?

Why differentiate Radical Unschooling from "Regular" Unschooling?

Why use the term "Radical?" Doesn't it convey extremism?

Is radical unschooling extreme?

Does radical unschooling mean no rules or boundaries?

Do kids still learn academics with radical unschooling?

Is radical unschooling hands-off parenting?

10 Reasons Spring is for Unschoolers

10 Reasons to Try Unschooling This Spring

1

Spring Break... all season long!

2

No Race to "Finish the Year."

3

It’s nice out… so you go outside

﻿

Need Ideas?

Let Spring BE the Lesson Plan!

4

No Spring Testing Stress

5

Spring Doesn't belong behind a desk

6

Field Trips without Permission Slips

7

No Rushed Mornings

8

Review Season or Real Life?

9

Travel when it makes sense

10

Learning Thrives without Pressure

How Do Unschooling Parents Make Plans?

Planning as an Unschooling Parent (Without Turning Into a Teacher)

Start With the Week Ahead

Hello!

Think in Terms of Possibilities, Not Requirements

You are not planning what must happen.

You’re preparing what could happen.

Plan for Connection

Kids ask questions when they feel relaxed and connected—not when they feel managed.

Maybe You Can Relate...

Pay Attention to the Season You’re In

Notice What’s Already Working

The Real Goal of Planning

3 Simple Planning Tools Unschooling Parents Use

The

“Look at the Week”

Conversation

1. The "Look at the Week" Conversation

see how learning fits naturally into life.

﻿

The

“Idea Parking Lot”

2. The "Idea Parking Lot."

It’s simply a menu of possibilities.

The Weekly

“Just Data”

Review

3. The Weekly "Just Data" Review

You’re simply noticing patterns.

What Planning Really Means in Unschooling

A Different Kind of Planning

“What kind of life do we want to build together this week?”

Keep Unschooling Front of Mind

as Intentional, Relationship-Centered Parenting

Frequently Asked Questions
About Neurodivergent Kids and Unschooling

Here for the Memes?