Unschooling and Testing

Next concern is usually:

How will you know if they’ve learned?

Because you’re actively engaged with them. You have conversations. You hear that they know things you never even mentioned to them - or they’ve forgotten something they weren’t that interested in. But there’s no finish line. They have their entire lives to accumulate whatever they deem necessary.

A long time ago, there was a graphic poking fun at this question - I can’t find it now - but it showed a gardener pulling up their plants every day to check how the root system was progressing. That was certainly NOT a good way to grow a plant. Or a child.

One of the things that has to happen for a parent to get comfortable with this, is that you have to break free from the idea that there’s only one set of facts everyone needs to know. So when you’re thinking like that, I’m sure it DOES freak you out when your child seems to know a DIFFERENT set of facts than what you’re looking for. This is probably a red flag for doing more deschooling.

The school way is ONE way to learn - and has one pile of facts in a very linear progression. It doesn’t take into consideration the interests or preferences of The Learner. It’s focused on the Teaching aspect. But unschooling flips that around and focuses on the Learner. What does the Learner need to do the activities that interest them? That’s the next step. That’s the growing pile of experience and expertise your little learner is developing. It’s the most Individualized plan any student couldn’t ever be fortunate enough to have!

That third question...

How will you know if they’re behind?

Again, it’s probably more of a deschooling question. But behind what? Behind whom?

When you’re focusing on helping them create this wonderful mega-indivualized approach to learning, suddenly thinking about what other 8-year olds know (or whatever age is starting to bug you) - is kind of a step backwards.

It’s not relevant any more.

So when our thoughts drift back in this direction, understand that this is operating out of fear. And when we’re fearful, we drift back to what’s familiar.
It’s that Compare and Despair concept I learned in my coaching classes. It serves no one - and actually pushes you to play smaller. So reading more about how unschooling works will help you.

And maybe seeing or talking with other unschoolers who can relate and share how they push through these fears - that’s another way to conquer this one.

I promised you a Bonus after we talked about these three.

Bonus probably isn’t the right word. It’s not a bonus!

Is This Really YOUR Score?

It’s a Big Fear that might be underlying all these other fears.

It’s the idea that our child’s score on the test is actually OUR score on whether or not we’ve done a good job. Hmmm maybe you can relate.

Our society is so focused on scoring our teachers and schools based on the scores of the kids - we adopt that mentality for ourselves. Forgetting the fact that our kiddos are learning every day - and it’s not linear or from the so-called accepted pile of knowledge for Fifth Grade.

This fear taps into those others that say,

• “Who do you think you are that you can do this?”

or

• “ I see when you have a bad day - you’re going to ruin the kids opportunities for success in the future!”

All those mean-spirited, critical thoughts that lurk in our brains. Growing our OWN confidence is a task that we need to face - especially if we have a lot of self-doubt and second-guessing. And here’s something interesting, if your kid gets good test scores (maybe you have to do testing for your state or program you’re in), you end up bypassing the internal work that probably still needs to happen. So that fear goes back into the shadows, waiting to pop out another time. You know there will be another opportunity!

And this is why it’s good to keep peeling back the layers and thinking about:

• Why ARE we choosing this unconventional path?
• What IS wrong with standardized testing?
• How can I know I’m doing my best at unschooling?
• What can I do to see the learning that’s happening with our kids?

Because a standardized test is not going to give you the reassurance you need.

You’ll have to find that for yourself.

You don’t have to do it alone, but it IS an Inside Job.

I have some resources that can help you dive into this a little more.

Reach out if you need a little help with it. And I’ll be back to chat with you again next week!